New Baby & dealing with the EX!

Aislinn - posted on 06/15/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi, Please help me...

My fiance and I are expecting our first child in 9 weeks. He has two young boys from a previous marriage. And while myself and the boys mum get along quite well, my fiance and her do not!

Since finding out that I am expecting a baby girl, she has started going to counselling due to anxiety/stress. She feels that my partner won't provide the same for their boys as he will for me and the new baby. While we've tried to explain that this is his 3rd child, and his boys will always come first, she is becoming increasingly difficult to deal with in regards to child support & using the kids as weapons... I myself am starting to get anxious since she stated that when I go into labour she will bring the boys to the hospital herself. My fiance and I agreed that as soon as the baby is born, he will collect his boys and they can come and meet their sister, but their mum has different plans!!! I know she will come in and start a fight (as she always does), and I don't want the stress right after giving birth.. Is there a polite way to say that I would prefer LESS company and for my partner to bring his boys in alone?? She will just be nasty!!!

Any advice from people who are in a simular situation.. or have been...??

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Diane - posted on 06/16/2009

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I haven't been in your situation, but I've been a little close to the boys birth mother's. Quite a long time ago I had a boyfriend of almost 3 years. Towards the end of our relationship I had gotten pregnant but had a miscarriage 3 months into it. Not long after it happened we broke up. Not long after he met someone new and within a few months she was pregnant. I was really sad the whole time she pregnant and the day she went into labor I was a mess. After I saw their new little girl I was okay. Even tho she wasen't mine I couldn't deny how beautiful she was and just perfect. The way I saw it was, even tho she wasen't mine, she was meant to be here.



I can understand how this is hard for her. Maybe you could have her come when other visitors are coming. Kinda a safety in numbers thing. She may not start anything with other people around. Or just say you want to wait for visitors until you get home so you can rest. She may come around after you deliver. After all this will be her son's baby sister. I hope this helps, and good luck.

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