New baby, wont sleep in his bed.

Rocki - posted on 09/21/2009 ( 24 moms have responded )

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I have a brand new baby 10 days old. (born sept 11th) And he will sleep in his car seat for hours at a time, he will sleep in your arms, or in a swing, but he will not sleep for long periods in his bed. My husband spoils him and lets him sleep in his arms alot! Then when he is put in his bed after falling asleep, 20 minutes later he is up crying, and if you pick him up he passes back out in your arms. Then the cycle continues of his 20 minute sleep.

Is he too young to cry himself to sleep? Because I have tried that, and he cries himself more awake, then lays there awake and cries every 10 minites or so. We get only 2 hours of sleep a night, and it is taking a toll on me and my husband.

Does anyone have any sleeping advice?

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Leah - posted on 09/24/2009

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My baby was a restless newborn as well, and didnt like being swaddled. He woke up every 2-3 hours for the first couple weeks and wouldnt sleep in his bed. I put him to sleep however I could for the first month, because a few hrs was better than none. I used his carseat or bouncy chair, or swing. At about a month I started a bedtime routine around the time I noticed him usually getting sleepy. Nothing special just lotion, pjs and feeding with lullabies. I put him in his crib and walked away. Of course he cried, so I waited till he was mad, not just fussing, and gave him his binky and calmed him down. However, once I put him down, I never picked him up till his next feeding. Just tried to soothe him, then I would leave the room again. I just told myself eventually he would fall asleep. And about the time I was about to give up, he did. It takes a few tries, and a few days of the same thing, but it works. He is four months now and sleeps 10-12 hrs a night and has since 12 weeks.

Minnie - posted on 09/22/2009

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So...was he 'spoiled' while encased safely in the soft warm confines of your womb for almost ten months? And now that he's barely out of the womb, not sleeping alone in a cold cot is him being spoiled?

Human infants are biologically designed to be in almost constant contact with their caregivers. You just cannot expect him to comfortably go against his instincts.

Do NOT let him cry himself to sleep. This is physically damaging, and can even lead to death in a newborn.

Bring him into bed with you, curl yourself around him, and cuddle him to sleep. It's how families have slept for millennia.

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Sam - posted on 09/26/2009

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We had this problem and to get our little one used to her cot we put her in her car seat in her cit. She now sleeps in her cot from midnight to 10am with 2 feds in between with 2 rolled up blankets either side of her.



We also, although not advised, have her sleeping on her tummy - it is the only way she sleeps!!



Good Luck x

[deleted account]

I had this very same problem with my little one from week one to three months old. Just last week I was so tired of being tired, my back was aching from swinging her and my arms were pins and needles and falling asleep night and day from rocking and holding her just so that she'd sleep.

I was skeptical of a sleep program for little ones that some people swore by but I checked it out because my little girl was NOT growing out of this awful (not)sleeping stage. I now am a firm believer of the program. My little one hasn't touched her swing (which she practically LIVED in for three months) since I bought the program and is taking multiple naps for 1-3 hours at a time and sleeping for 9-12 hours (with one or two feeds, of course) IN HER OWN BED!!!! It was only hard for the first night for us and after that, she's been a great little sleeper. The program has different suggestions for different ages and different parenting styles and it was well worth the money for our family. It's called "The Sleep Sense Program" you can google it to find out more about it. The essence of it is to teach your little one to learn strategies on their own for falling asleep by putting them into their bed the moment they display any "sleepy" indicators (rubbing/scratching/pulling at their face/eyes/ears, yawning, etc). I wish you good luck and much sleep. Been where you are and I know it's not a happy place for any of you!!!

Danica - posted on 09/25/2009

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Try swaddling, baby positioners, things that will make baby feel secure and in the womb. The cry out method is not good for babies that young, it is more for 5/6 months, if that is the method you prefer. Personally I don't like letting my daughter cry, but it works for some.

Lisa - posted on 09/25/2009

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Quoting Jackie:

My daughter was the same way when she was a newborn. She would sleep in her carseat, my arms, or her bouncy seat, but the second i put her in her bed she would wake up. We ended up co-sleeping for 6 weeks. I was finally able to get her to sleep in her bed when i put a blanket on her. I know you aren't suppose to put blankets on them when they are that little, but was the only thing that worked for me since the swaddle didn't work. She would always kick herself free.



a blanket is actually okay,as long as both sides and bottom are firmly tucked under the mattress.  check out the "back to sleep" program.  It gives guidelines for the best way to lay baby in bed so as to help reduce the risk of SIDS.  Any good NYACEK accredited day care will use these guidlines.  Never use a day care that doesn't! 

Lisa - posted on 09/25/2009

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Swaddling is great. try using a warmer blanket to put over top of him. I also used a womb sounds bear with my first, and currently using it for my second. If he lijes laying on you, it may be the warmth, or the sound of your heartbeat - which he's used to hearing - that makes him comfortable. He might also have a touch or acid reflux - not uncommon, and usually doesn't last - that bothers him when he's laying down. try putting a few blankets UNDER the mattress on the end where his head is. It will keep him semi upright like in the car seat.

Mandy - posted on 09/25/2009

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Quoting Megan:

My second little boy did the same thing. He would sleep as long as he was propped up a little bit but lay him down and he would immediatly wake up. Took him to doctor and he was diagnosed with slight reflux. We were advised to hold him for 10-15minutes after his bottle to let his formule settle and then lay him down. Also propped up his crib with some pillows so his head was elevated. That worked for us. Now though I've seen a wedge that goes in the crib and the baby lays in it and is strapped in so he is safe but also his head is elevated. Hope this works I know what its like to have a little one that doesnt sleep.


Did you just put pillows under the crib mattress?

Mandy - posted on 09/25/2009

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Quoting Megan:

My second little boy did the same thing. He would sleep as long as he was propped up a little bit but lay him down and he would immediatly wake up. Took him to doctor and he was diagnosed with slight reflux. We were advised to hold him for 10-15minutes after his bottle to let his formule settle and then lay him down. Also propped up his crib with some pillows so his head was elevated. That worked for us. Now though I've seen a wedge that goes in the crib and the baby lays in it and is strapped in so he is safe but also his head is elevated. Hope this works I know what its like to have a little one that doesnt sleep.



Where did you get the wedge?  Is it designed for the purpose of sleeping?

Caitlin - posted on 09/25/2009

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My daughter is the same way. She is 9 weeks old and she will only sleep in her swing or bouncy chair at night, I have tried everything as well, lifting the crib, letting her sleep with us, swaddling her and putting her between the swaddling pads, I have also tried to put her on side between the pads, that worked for about 30 min. When she is in her bouncy chair she will sleep anywhere for 6-8hrs. Every week I try to put her in her crib and for her napes, but she does not like being on her back. I am just hoping that when she can roll over she will sleep in her crib! If you find out what works for you let me know!

Megan - posted on 09/24/2009

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My second little boy did the same thing. He would sleep as long as he was propped up a little bit but lay him down and he would immediatly wake up. Took him to doctor and he was diagnosed with slight reflux. We were advised to hold him for 10-15minutes after his bottle to let his formule settle and then lay him down. Also propped up his crib with some pillows so his head was elevated. That worked for us. Now though I've seen a wedge that goes in the crib and the baby lays in it and is strapped in so he is safe but also his head is elevated. Hope this works I know what its like to have a little one that doesnt sleep.

Natasha - posted on 09/24/2009

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I had the exact same problem with my son at that age. I actually asked the same question on this site :). But i found out a few weeks later that i was running out of milk and he was just really hungry but so tired that when i held him he would sleep but when i put him down he realised he was still hungry and started crying again. After starting him on formula he was a changed baby and slept perfectly! I don't know if this might be the problem but just something for you to look into if it doesn't get better for you. I know how frustrating it can be. All the best xo

Amy - posted on 09/23/2009

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My advice goes along with something someone said before...routine, routine, routine! My little guy took marathon naps in everything except his bed, but as soon as we established a routine, he began sleeping longer and longer in his bed. Now he sleeps from 8:30pm to 6am every night. I will also suggest checking into reflux. If he sleeps better propped up (such as in his car seat), you could get a little wedge to put in his crib. They are soft foam "pillows" that are angled just enough to allow gravity to keep his stomach contents where they belong. It IS NOT a pillow, since I know you're not supposed to put pillows in an infant's bed. My Dr. has approved this one, so maybe ask your pediatrician about them. Good luck and Congrats on your new little one!

Melany - posted on 09/22/2009

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My son would do the same cycle. Is he on formula? My sons dr suggested that we try a different brand- we ended up with nutramigen which helped alot. Also might i suggest co-sleeping or lettin him sleep on your husbands bare chest. My son who is almost 9 months slept on my husbands chest and slept through the night waking up only twice. As my son got older we would swaddle him, give him a binky and he would lay between us so he couldnt fall off the bed. He doesnt sleep with us after we learned that he could roll over, what we ended up doing was giving him a bottle when he went into his crib and once he finished that he would get his binky if we were still awake. Another suggestion that i have for you is (what i call Mr. Seahorse) a soothe & glow seahorse it takes 3aa batteries plays over 5 minutes of music, lullabies, and ocean sounds. Its made by Fisher-price and my son loves it. Hope that helps!!

Jahna - posted on 09/22/2009

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Research the Feber Method, they say yes he would be to young to cry himself to sleep. I had the same problem, my daughter is now 4 months and 2 weeks old and sleeps in her crib in her room every night for 8-9 hours!! It's all about routein!!! You have to get him on a schedule or you are going to have a co-sleeper... It will be hard at first, you just have to try different things, I went from a cradle, to a bassenet, then the crib.



But she gets a bath, fed, and put to bed at the SAME time every night, no matter what!!

Jackie - posted on 09/22/2009

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My daughter was the same way when she was a newborn. She would sleep in her carseat, my arms, or her bouncy seat, but the second i put her in her bed she would wake up. We ended up co-sleeping for 6 weeks. I was finally able to get her to sleep in her bed when i put a blanket on her. I know you aren't suppose to put blankets on them when they are that little, but was the only thing that worked for me since the swaddle didn't work. She would always kick herself free.

[deleted account]

Babies are designed to be close to their mom. Their bodies do not self-regulate breathing and other functions well until around 9 months old. They rely on being close to you as your body rhythms help them regulate their own. I would recommend wearing him in a sling for his naps (or take a nap with him!) and at night let him sleep with you. It makes a world of difference in the amount and quality of sleep you will get yourself as well as that of your newborn. Many cultures bring baby to bed (Japan, China, Africa, and more) and it's only been in the past 100 years or so that western culture has pushed the idea of babies sleeping alone in another room. In the cultures that do bed share, SIDS is almost non-existent.



I would suggest Dr. Sears' "Nighttime Parenting" book. Another good read is "Good Nights" by Dr. Jay Gordon.



No matter what you end up doing, a newborn should definitely not be left to cry it out.

Mandy - posted on 09/22/2009

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The first 3 to 4 months he may really need that tight warmth to feel comfortable enough to sleep. I dont think it's spoiling at this age. He is not old enough to even conprehend manipulation.

Kim - posted on 09/22/2009

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Newborn babies are notorious for not sleeping for long periods of time., especially at night. With my second child, I was up every hour and a half every night to feed and change her. It's a fact of life. Babies love to be cuddled. Think about it....they are introduced into a cold bright world after being nice and warm for months. It's only natural that they would want to be held. And, btw, you can NEVER spoil a newborn baby. They need all the cuddling and love they can get.

Amy - posted on 09/22/2009

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Have you ruled out things like colic and reflux? My son was only a few days old and was sleeping in short bursts in his bed, until we realised he had reflux. I got him some medication (just over the counter type remedies) and propped his mattress up on a 30 degree angle, then over the next few days his sleep became very good - he ended up sleeping 4-6 hours in a row overnight and an hour or so during the day. You might also like to try popping him on his tummy, lightly swaddled. I did that, and found it made the WORLD of difference. Especially if your little one has reflux. Good luck!!

Donna - posted on 09/22/2009

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There is a swaddle you can buy called kiddopotamus swaddleme its suppose to be great babies cant get there arms out and you can change their bums without having to unwrap them. Also have you tried a dummy for comfort??

Rocki - posted on 09/22/2009

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He is swaddled all the time! He is so fiesty now, he kicks his way uncovered! I think he just wants to be held while he sleeps, cuz he will sleep for hours in my husbands arms.

Donna - posted on 09/21/2009

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I would suggest that you try swaddling him, this makes them feel secure almost like they are in the womb again. Hope this helps i wouldn't let him cry himself to sleep soo young remember you cant spoil a new born they need lots of cuddles : )

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