Post Partum Depression

Anahi - posted on 10/19/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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After giving birth I went through a lot of unexpected problems which made it difficult to cope with my newborn son on top of sleep deprivation. For a whle I felt lke I was the worst person and mother on the plane and that I would fail my baby in anyway possible. It was a path to misery and I just wasn't enjoying my baby's newborn fragile stage. I received constant professional help and now I'm in a better place however I still feel guilty for not cherishing those very tender newborn moments, but we enjoy eac other a lot more. Anbody else have a not so great expirience after labor????????

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Ashley - posted on 10/20/2009

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I can relate to what all of you have said about PPD. While I was never diagnosed with this, I think I may have just had post-partum blues, it made the first 3 months of my daughter's life very difficult for me. I was a brand new mom, I am an RN, so I figured I would have everything figured out and I would know what I was doing. But it was A LOT harder than I thought it was going to be, and I got to a point where I no longer trusted my own motherly instincts. I thought I was a terrible mother, and frequently thought "oh my goodness, what have I gotten myself into." I also became so stressed and worried, because my daughter wasn't sleeping for longer than 30-45 min stretches at a time, about my milk supply that I thought I wasn't able to provide enough breastmilk for her. I even fed her every 2 hours and it didn't help. So I switched her to formula much sooner than I wanted to (and thus suffered A LOT of guilt and regret over it), which still didn't fix the problem. I finally hired a sleep doula to help guide me in my baby's sleep and nutritional needs, and she really helped me gain back the confidence I lost right after my baby's birth. I try to think about those first few months as me learning my way as a mom and I do wish I could do it all over again with the knowledge and confidence I have now, but I can't. I can only take what I have learned and apply the next time around with the next child. I have heard mom's tell me that if they had PPD with their first child, they do not have it with the second baby...mostly because they know what to expect, they are much more relaxed about it now, and they know to trust their instincts. While it is a horrible feeling to have at such a wonderful time in your child's life, their is some comfort in knowing that other mom's have felt this way too, and that there is help.

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Stephanie - posted on 10/28/2009

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I didnt get help until my son was 5 mo. old... so the fact that you saw the signs early enough you should be happy. I feel guilty nowadays because I don't tke pics or video like I did when he was little- i think its because now im actually living in the moment instead of doing things so i could look back on those moments. I think the hospitalization and medication were a great help to me. My first will be 13mons. when the 2nd arrives (my husband is getting a vastectomy) so im worried, but now i know what to look for

Katie - posted on 10/28/2009

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I just joined in, but also relate to everything (almost) said here. I started experiencing PPD within days of giving birth, and though the delivery was textbook (thanks to a great team of midwives), breastfeeding was not. Regardless of the circumstances, PPD can affect anyone! I also sought professional help, but really couldn't afford a therapist and didn't want meds because the the bf'ing. I actually went back to work at 10 weeks (probably my biggest mistake) and cut it down to part-time. I found a terrific mother's group that I attended religiously for months, which really helped me feel more connected to other mom's, helped communicate my experiences, and get support. Hard to believe it's been 10 months now, but I still feel some of the PPD - like when I get easily angred with my husband, or restless at night, overwhelmed with the feeling that there is SO much to do...



But, I do think I'm much more prepared for the next time around - though not in the near future. There are things I want to do differently, and can anticipate so much more now.

Patricia - posted on 10/23/2009

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see my husband thinks im crazy and unnormal cause i have these thoughts but thats exactly how i feel i feel what makes a women so powerful was taken from me and now well i feel very UNpowerful ....

Colleen - posted on 10/23/2009

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Patricia, I know how you feel. I too had an unplanned c-section and had problems breastfeeding. I felt like I was inadequate as a woman and as a mom.

Patricia - posted on 10/23/2009

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I just had my lil girl 2 weeks and 4 days ago by an avoidable c section my doctor broke my water WAY to early causing my daughter to get hooked on my pelvic bone so that was my first disappointment then i didnt listen to y inner mom about breastfeeding and supplmented when they said i should and she got nipple confused and realized the bottle was easier she was doing so well on latching to so dissappointment 2 and home over tired and just feel im not goodenough for her plus the anger to the c section and the breastfeeding not to mention the nurses i had that decided communicatiing with me on what was going on wasnt important ticked me off on minute im pushing and my doctor is asking me to decide about c section while all of a sudden i have some ne shaveing me and the epidural guy was there to change my labor epidural to a full spinal block I Fin lost it in the delivery room here he is trying to help me make my desision after 29 hours of labor and it was obvious they had already made MY mind up im still furious about it all and no appetite to boot now i have a feeling my baby blues are heading to PPD .....

Tabatha - posted on 10/20/2009

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Yeah mine and my husbands son had to have open heart surgery right after he was born and I didn't get to bond with him like I felt I should have. I feel like I can't take care of him like I should and I cry most of the time and I worry about him all the time I can't seem to get comfortable with him. He is such a precious little boy. I thank God that he has healed our son.

Tracie - posted on 10/20/2009

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Tiffany, as long as you're taking care of your daughter and her needs are met, it doesn't matter if you formula feed! Don't be hard on yourself, hun! I was put on Zoloft and it really seemed to help.

Tiffany - posted on 10/20/2009

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I too have post partum depression.. It started about 1 month after my daughter was born (she is now 3 months) .. It seems to have been getting worse and worse, so my docter offered me some meds to take. I havnt been on them long enuff to notice a difference but Im keeping my fingers crossed that I notice an improvement. It has gotten soo bad that I have had to stop pumping all together :( and switch my daughter to formula ..which really dissapoints me. I also feel like I am a failing on being the best parent I can be, it really sucks and makes me feel aweful; cause I never planned for things to work out this way!

Tracie - posted on 10/20/2009

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I was suffering with PPD as well. I am on medication now and I feel so much better! It definitely helps to have people to talk to who understand!

Tre019 - posted on 10/20/2009

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i had also gone through PPD when i had my daughter 10 yrs ago..it was truly horrible,i was constantly crying..just for no particulr reason..i loved my baby that time..but i felt so sleep deprived that it made me very emotional..now im again carrying my second baby and im due in january,like u also im fearing it will be worst this time..that time when i went through this,didnt know it was PPD..NOW iam alraedy depressed sitting at home and dont know what im going to do about this...it took me 6 months to recover without medications..tht time i bonded with my baby...my husband also doesnt undersatnd...what im going though...i hope u will get over this..like others said its natural..best of luck!!!!!!!!

Sara - posted on 10/20/2009

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YES! I too suffered from PPD. Those first couple of months after my daughter's birth were a very dark time for me. I love her so much, but it's hard for me to look back on that time and see it as precious and special, because it was so awful for me. I did seek help and am doing better now. I don't feel guilty about it. It didn't stop me from bonding with my baby, but I will admit that I am very hesistant to have another baby, even though I know that I'd like at least one more. I figure next time I will know better and be able to do something about it before it becomes such a problem. Just know you are not alone, and it doesn't make you a bad mother, it just makes you human! I'm glad you are doing better!

Colleen - posted on 10/20/2009

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I had (have?) PPD as well. It's horrible. There's no other word to describe it. If you haven't already, look into getting medication, seak out support groups, talk to other moms. You'd be surprised how many have actually gone through it but no one really talks about it.

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