preganancy blues

Tre019 - posted on 10/10/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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hi ,iam 37 yrs old and 27 weeks preganant and anxious about this baby..i had my first baby girl 10 yrs ago and now im carrying the second..i was excited in being pregnant second timet,but now i feel getting more depressed due to various reasons..firstly i had to drop my job as a teacher for the fear of swine flu,secondly i miss all the joy in working and meeting my friends...theres nothing to look forwrad to except the baby which is due in janaurarry...thirdly my husband doenst understand me or my sleeless nights(anxious)im know its too early,hes pretty reserved by nature and doesnt show his emotions which makes me feel lonely and depreessed.but im worried whether i can manage sleepless nights at my age..since if i get sleep deprived .i will become more dpressed..i had severe post natal depression during my first child...it was horrible experience...i worryy about so many things...like how will i mange new baby,sleepless nights etc....and labour pains and my husband..can anyone help me out here?i really need someones help in telling me what should i do?

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Shirley - posted on 10/18/2009

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Hi,

I feel it for you. I think honestly you should speak to your GP or midwife in private, in confidence and explain how you are feeling. There are many support groups out there for mothers and babies and also you can look into some care at the moment with regards to your post natal depression. I have four children and my youngest is 4mths old and I have suffered from post natal depression myself. If they know this will be a problem for you they can put measures into place to stop this happening to you again or at least minimise the effects of it.

Please speak to other women near you though. Many women feel this way and its nothing to be fearful of or frightened of. Its normal to feel this way and most women do not admit to this as they see it as a failing when its not. Remember though that the sleepless nights and tiredness quickly ease as your baby is always growing and will soon sleep longer at night.

Give yourself some nice feminine time and although you feel your husband is reserved please remember not all men can deal with what we women go through as they do not experience it and cant understand it.

Keep your chin up and get out the house more to leisure activities and with friends. Not being at work is a minor set back that will change for you in time.

Best wishes & love.

Shirley x

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Tre019 - posted on 10/18/2009

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Hi Shirley

Thanks for ur response..im really greateful..its true i really need some help and i did speak to my GP today..she said currently hse doesnt know any counsellor in my state,she has to search for one outside...ur also right that my husband cannot undersatnd one bit..it was a huge sacrifice for me to leave my job,when i actually didnt want to..but for the sake of my baby i did it.Most of my friends are from workplace only,so the sitauation is more difficult,now we hardly meet,sometimes call..im still bored and depressed.anyhow i stuck to my decision to laeve the job,i couldnt continue after dec,because im due by januaray.

im trying to find some other alternatives to keep my busy so i wont get depressed,THis is the only solution now..and trying to get more sleep now,since it wont be possible after january..i hope mY GP will find a counsellor before my delivery,so that will help me a lot.i will find a way with Gods help..thanks...

[deleted account]

Hi Teena - sorry to hear that you're feeling anxious. I can fully understand how having to give up teaching would affect how you are feeling - is there any reason why you can't join a mother and toddler group and get to meet some other mums, or even take up a hobby where you can at least get some adult company? It is so important that you have some distractions and feel that you can talk to other adults! I think talking to other women about how you're feeling will really help...even about your husband and his 'distant' behaviour. I would also really recommend that you find some relaxation cds or tapes and make sure that you are doing some good breathing routines each day. This can really help to allievate the stress that you are feeling. You have done this whole motherhood thing before!...and you can do it again. There will be many people around who will be able to help you, just believe that they are there and let them into your life. I'd also have a chat with your doctor just to let him know how you're feeling, he/she might be able to suggest some other strategies for you.
You are not alone, I felt quite anxious when I was pregnant and ave lots of sympathy and support for you.
Hope this helps, with all best wishes
Emma k-G

Tre019 - posted on 10/11/2009

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i still need more solutions..im still very depressed ...and anxious...i think im missing my job and friends and that joy of working..i was so excited to be pregnant intially,but i feel my hormones are taking over,probably because i am not sleeping well at night now.is there any solution for helping me to adapt to this new change and to stop worrying.since i dont like cahnges much...

Qwashawnna - posted on 10/10/2009

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Well the first thing i think you should do is try to talk to a counseler or your doctor about the fears you have. I can see how it could be overwhelming for you seeing how its been 10 yrs since you had a child now im only 27 but i do have 4 children and my youngest is 7 months so i know alot about not getting any sleep but maybe one thing that may help is to start setting your alarm every two , three hours so your body can start getting use to getting up early and all times of the night. And you should sit down with your husband and try to explain how serious this is for you and your worries and fears and make sure he listens men dont go through what we do so they dont understand. I really think you should talk to other pregnant women just so you can let your fears out with ppl who can see where you are coming from, and dont think of being pregnant as you can do anything cause you still can amnd your friends should understand and try to do things that you can do i hope i helped some

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