Pregnancy Questionnaire

Shannon - posted on 01/05/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I am studying as a doula and have an assignment I need help with. Can you answer the following questions for me? Thanks!

What fears did you have while pregnant?

How did pregnancy change or affect your relationship with your partner?

How did pregnancy change or affect your relationship with your mother?

If you have had more than one child, how did the pregnancies differ? In what ways were you surprised by the differences or similarities?

What aspects of being pregnant did you enjoy?

What aspects did you not enjoy?

Did you feel emotionally ready when the baby came? why or why not?

7 Comments

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Brooke - posted on 01/06/2010

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What fears did you have while pregnant?

-At one point I was told my daughter was to small for dates.

How did pregnancy change or affect your relationship with your partner?

-It brought us closer, we knew there was something coming up that was about to connect us forever.

How did pregnancy change or affect your relationship with your mother?

-my mother passed away 5 yrs ago

If you have had more than one child, how did the pregnancies differ? In what ways were you surprised by the differences or similarities?

-n/a

What aspects of being pregnant did you enjoy?

-Absolutely everything, watching my belly grow. The movements.

What aspects did you not enjoy?

-heart burn

Did you feel emotionally ready when the baby came? why or why not?

-Absolutely, my daughter was planned, so from the day we fell pregnant we knew were ready.

[deleted account]

What fears did you have while pregnant?
I would worry that there might be something wrong with my baby or that my baby would die after birth (SIDS was a real concern for me until he was born and the he was just soooo robust and healthy it stopped being a concern). I knew that would just break my heart. Sometimes I would worry that I wouldn't be a good mother or wouldn't know what to do.

How did pregnancy change or affect your relationship with your partner?
Mostly, it strengthened our relationship. We had been together for 15 years (since we were 16) so our relationship was already strong and loving. There was a real sense of us moving towards the next stage of our lives together and we were so excited to be bringing a life into being. It wasn't until the baby was born that I felt differently, then all his faults and flaws seemed highlighted, but I still wouldn't choose anyone else to raise my son with.

How did pregnancy change or affect your relationship with your mother?
Mostly, it strengthened that relationship too. We have always been super close emotionally, but I moved two states to be closer to her as I knew I wanted her to be present for the birth and needed her help and advice as this is my first child. I know now that she sees me differently now as she has told me she is enjoying watching me grow as an adult and a parent.

If you have had more than one child, how did the pregnancies differ? In what ways were you surprised by the differences or similarities?
This is my first child.

What aspects of being pregnant did you enjoy?
The whole lot! I loved the feeling of my baby moving inside me, I still remember the first time I felt that. I also loved the fact that my body could nurture and carry a baby and then nurture and feed it once it was born, it is so special to me that all my baby has needed for his entire life so far is me. I also developed a wonderful relationship with my midwife that made a huge amount of difference to the last trimester (made me feel so much calmer and more prepared).

What aspects did you not enjoy?
I didn't really enjoy the fact that towards the end of my pregnancy I got so big and heavy that just doing everyday things became really difficult; I really wanted to do so much -the spirit was willing but the flesh was so so weak. I was also very disappointed by the over medicalisation of labour and birth, I was fortunate to have had a very healthy pregnancy and wanted a natural, drug and intervention free labour and birth and felt like I was constantly defending my rights to do so. I refused a membrane sweep at 40 weeks, refused induction at 41 weeks +4 days and ended up going into spontaneous labour at 41 wks + 5 days and gave birth naturally in a midwife run birthing suite -wonderful experience!

Did you feel emotionally ready when the baby came? why or why not?
Absolutely, my support team (husband, mother, husband's mother and sister and nephew, as well as two midwives were all present at my birth) did such a great job preparing me for and coaching me through labour and I feel lucky that my baby was born into such a loving environment. Being overdue meant that I felt well and truly ready for baby's arrival by the time he finally made his appearance.

Lise - posted on 01/05/2010

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What fears did you have while pregnant?
* I work with children with special needs (autism), so I was very worried about any problems that might occur and decisions that needed to be made about her shots

How did pregnancy change or affect your relationship with your partner?
* made us closer! he was so good to me, and so excited about the baby

How did pregnancy change or affect your relationship with your mother?
* I didn't think it would change anything, but I really feel it made us closer.

If you have had more than one child, how did the pregnancies differ? In what ways were you surprised by the differences or similarities?
* have only had one so far

What aspects of being pregnant did you enjoy?
* the ONLY aspect I enjoyed was feeling her move - that was amazing

What aspects did you not enjoy?
* everything else! I was SO swollen, and my sciatic nerve killed me, and I was so uncomfortable...

Did you feel emotionally ready when the baby came? why or why not?
* I feel emotionally ready, but I'm a planner and it was hard to have the unknown about to be brought into my world. The hardest time for me was the 2nd week of her life when my husband when back to work

Iysha - posted on 01/05/2010

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I was terrified of having a premature baby. I was a preemie and so was my mother and I knew that if my daughter was a preemie, there might be complications. I was also afraid of the labor...I didn't know what to expect because 'all labors and deliveries are different" and so the research I did meant almost nothing. lol. I was in the hospital at 33 weeks and in labor and got it stopped and the whole time I was worried that there was going to be a problem with my daughter.

Being pregnant changed my relationship with my partner in that i felt obligated to work on the issues we had with eachother. I saw things he did and things he said differently and it made me realize that there are a lot of things that need to change and knowing I was having a baby with that person made me more willing to explain what I felt he was doing wrong and what would make me happier. I also know that Having a baby on the way made my Fiance and I grow up a bit more. We were both at dead end jobs and know he is in training to be an Automotive Technician and I am going to start school when He is done to be a Paralegal.

Being pregnant didn't change the relationship i have with my mother....we have always been close. My Fiance jokes that we need to "cut the umbilical cord already." lol

I loved everything about being pregnant. I was only sick for 3 weeks, I lost 20 lbs in the first trimester and started showing at 6 1/2 months. I was thin with a little bump. Sex was amazing....I had plenty of energy and wanted to be active. I looked great, felt great and didn't have any problems except after 33 weeks.

I didn't enjoy not being able to eat anything my Fiance cooked. I just wanted bagles with cream cheese and fruit. I also hated that i was forced to drink water by my Fiance. I wanted soda so bad, I had to sneak it. lol.

I was definately emotionally ready when my daughter was born...maybe too emotionally ready. My daughter spent 17 days in the NICU and I wanted her home so badly. I was in the NICU with her from 8am to 6pm every day just so I could hold her. I wanted to be the one to do everything and the nurses were the ones doing it all. As soon as she was out of me, and I hear her cry, I knew she was healthy and I cried too. She was in the NICU to learn how to eat, she was perfectly healthy though.

Janice - posted on 01/05/2010

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1. The first trimester was scary. I worried about miscarrying since I had 1 miscarriage before my hubby and i were mrried and it took three years to get pregnant after we married. I also agree with Krystal the worry of miscarriage stayed with me a little bit through out the pregnancy. At the end i feared the labor and delivery. In the end my daughter was breech and wouldn't turn so I had a planned c-section. I feared my recovery from that for the last 2 weeks of pregnancy. I shouldn't have worried so much about that. I also worried about my marriage and how a baby changed things.
2. In many ways the relation ship stayed the same but during the 7th & 8th month we fought all the time. He was sick of working and be the primary cook and cleaner a duty we previously shared. I was mad he was mad because I felt huge and was working full time while attending college. Also we weren't having any sex which made him miserable. I wasn't in the mood and it began hurting at the end of the 6th month. And he very apologetically told me he found it hard to be attracted to me. In the last 3 weeks our emotions evened out and now we are happy and truly enjoying being parents of our 2mo. old. BTW we began dating at age 15 and are now 26 so we have been through many "life changes" together.
3. My mother and I have been close my entire adult life and we are still close.
4.Only 1 child.
5.I loved feeling the baby move it was always amazing even though it was happening all the time. part of me enjoyed even the bad stuff because after waiting three years to get pregnant I was happy to endure the not fun stuff. I loved talking about my pregnacy with anyone who would listen.
6.I was naseous for the entire first tri. never actualy got sick though. When she pushed her head against my ribs that hurt and it happened daily in the third tri. I had an external version to try and move her out of the breech position and that was extremely painful and didn't work. There were lots of other little annoying things but mostly I enjoyed the pregnancy. To be truthful the emotional stress between my husband was horrible, thankfully it didn't last.
7. I felt ready the entire 9 mo. untill the last week before my c-section. Suddenly i panicked and worried I wasn't going to be a good mother. I worked in daycare for 5 years and used to joke " I'm immune to cute" meaning a cute smile wouldn't get a kid out of trouble. I worried that I would see my baby as one of the daycare kids and wouldn't bond with her.(I loved the kids at the day care and were very close with some but then there were some kids who just got under my skin) Thankfully the moment she arrived there was no doubt about how I felt about her. I couldn't love her more. I feel like I have knon her my whole life.

I hope this is helpful Shannon. Goodluck

Crystal - posted on 01/05/2010

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Hope this helps. 



What fears did you have while pregnant?

Was I eating the right things / taking the right vitamins to keep me and the baby healthy?





How did pregnancy change or affect your relationship with your partner?

Once I began to look pregnant and the bigger I got, the less attractive my husband found me intimately. However beyond the intimate level, we grew as a couple in experiencing the pregnancy together.



How did pregnancy change or affect your relationship with your mother?

Being pregnant didn’t not affect the relationship I have with my mother. Trying to ask my mother anything about pregnancy However, I think being pregnant brought me closer to my mother-in-law.



If you have had more than one child, how did the pregnancies differ? In what ways were you surprised by the differences or similarities?

This was my first pregnancy.

What aspects of being pregnant did you enjoy?

The excitement of bringing new life into the world

Feeling the baby move.



What aspects did you not enjoy?

How unattractive I felt and the knowledge that my husband didn’t find me attractive didn’t help with that.



Did you feel emotionally ready when the baby came? why or why not?

Not really, this being my first pregnancy, the entire experience was new to me, so everything was emotional and a little stressful.

Krystal - posted on 01/05/2010

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Hi Shannon...



After suffering a miscarriage for my first pregnancy that was my major fear early into my next one. Up until my nuchal scan. Actually, unconciously right through if bubba stopped moving i would push my tummy till he started again.



I found i was gettinbg frustrated with my partner for not "getting it" when i was tired or when i needed to finish work earlier than planned coz bubba was posterior and my back was killing me. I got the comments "everyone else can work until their due date why cant you?"



I dont think my relationship with mum has changed because of Wil. I was living 3500km away right thru pregnancy and didnt move back to where family was till Wil was 3.5mths old.



Ive only had one pregnancy full term but i didnt have any morning sickness at all. I ate a lemon everyday lol. Allthough i didnt find out the sex of our baby i felt i "knew" i was having a boy.



I loved all the movements of baby. The fact tjat i wasnt sick at all. I loved my growing bump and the fact that you can make any person anywhere smile at you just by being pregnant.



I enjoyed the whole thing. I was very "over it" at the end tho because of my back pain and it was super hot weather where i was living.



I think i was ready emotionally for Wil. Ive always wanted kids more than anything and have been around babies all my life. It was a natural step for me. The no sleep factor - i dont think you can quite prepare for!



Hope i helped xx

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