Pro spanking before parenthood. Anti spanking once a parent ?

Maritza - posted on 09/20/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I was wondering how many other people were pro spanking before parenthood and then anti spanking after parenthood. I have a 2 1/2 year old son. Dont get me wrong there are times he gets me angry but I dont hit or anything. I know he is still young and when he gets older there will be new challenges in store for me as a parent. But being a parent has really changed my perspective. Plus I feel spanking unless its for a life threatening situation only breeds resentment and sends the wrong message.

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Louise - posted on 09/29/2009

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You should all join my 'mums agains smacking' community for like minded anti smacking mums who feel hitting a child is the wrong way of doing things and should be wiped out of our society

Leah - posted on 09/22/2009

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I totally agree with you on this. My husband and I were pro spanking before my daughter was born but now, even though she's a tantrum throwing 2 1/2 year old, I couldn't imagine spanking her. We have found other ways of getting the point across. Time out in her room not only gives her the time to think about what she did but also allows me time to cool down and talk to her rationally instead of acting out of frustration and anger. I was spanked as a child by my dad and still have alot of resentment for that and it has affected our relationship. I don't want that to happen with my daughter and me.

Lynlee - posted on 09/21/2009

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I was smacked as a child until about nine when I didn't really act out any more. At the time I hated it of course but thought it was a good thing generally and the only proper way to teach your child. We had friends who I thought needed a good smack to set them straight but as I have gotten older I realise that I was influenced by my parents and now I don't use physical punishment on our son b/c it makes no sense to me.

Rachel - posted on 09/21/2009

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I definitely agree with how you can change your mind. I grew up in a religious house, very strict. Literally, my life consisted of nothing other than spanking. If the dishes weren't done, if I got lower than a B- on any homework or tests, if the kitchen wasn't clean in 15 minutes, if I said something 'bad', if I had an attitude... I literally feel my whole childhood was just filled with spanking. My last spanking was at 16, so I felt pretty strongly about being totally against it. Then when I went to the store and saw brats, I thought, gosh, I would have NEVER acted like that!

But there is a medium. I have a great toddler, and there are so many ways to tell them 'no', and stop it early before it becomes an issue. I've had to smack his bottom with a diaper on before because he was biting me, and he hasn't since! But I feel it's a situational thing. I think it's completely unnecessary, but for the right reasons, can help a child know 'no' better. I can definitely say though that it doesn't teach your kids to respect you or respect your authority and guidance, it just teaches them to live in fear of doing something wrong to get it. I still have a weird relationship with my Dad. It's more of a fear respect, than a love respect. Helps me learn how to be better with my kids. :)

Iysha - posted on 09/21/2009

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I have always been anti-spanking. I myself was spanked once at 3 years old, and I remember it. It was for lying to my dad after I cut my sister's Barney doll. lol. I was a pretty good kid after that, I didn't want to get spanked again. My mom actually left my dad for a couple months because he hit me and he hit my butt hard.



I think that it is more important to tell the child why he/she shouldn't do something so they understand that it is wrong and that what they do or say has an impact on other people's feelings. For example. If the child bites/ pinches you, Say Ouch, and say something like, "That hurts mommy." and then walk away for a few minutes. I think it is just as effective and is a "gentler" way of teaching young children good behavior and how to be sympathetic and even empathetic so that they are more likely to show good behavior. When children are older, I think taking away a privelage is a good strategy.

Minnie - posted on 09/21/2009

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Here.



We used to attend a very conservative Baptist church...and were inundated with the pro-spanking, adversarial parenting philosophy. After we had our first we did a lot of thinking, rationalizing, and studying, and we now do not spank, and do not punish.



There just is no logic to the philosophy that children need to be physically punished (or punished at all). We are here to teach our children - to bring them to self-discipline, not to punish them.

Crystal - posted on 09/20/2009

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Its understandable- once your baby is here you cant imagine hitting them! lol. but, its not bad-if your child needs to be disciplined, sometimes thats the best thing to do. Lets say he/she throws a tantrum-one or two good spankings usually lets the child know that what they did wasnt right. Although some do try to be slick and get away with it lol! remember-ur the parent, the mommy- and the baby needs to listen to you. good luck momma! :) dont get offended, im just giving my opinion-and what i've gone through with my nieces lol :)

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