11 Year Old and School

Sandy - posted on 04/30/2013

I am the stepmom of a17 yr old girl, 13 yr old & a 10 yr old boy plus my own 2 girls 23 &13. My eldest is on her own. I have kind of unique situation... mom has been in & out of their lives due to drugs. Grandpa (alcoholic) has custody. We live with them since grandma passed. Before I came the kids were parented by auny, grandpa, and anyone paying attention. The only one struggling is the youngest boy. At first I would sit while he did his work. Aftr time passed he began taking advantage so that no longer happens. He is constantly grounded. No tv, video games, no ipad, sits at the table everyday refusing to do anything. Working with the teacher hasn't done anything. He refuses to do work at school too. Now he lies constantly . Ugh help I need creative ideas! I'm tired. But willing to do whatever it takes.

Courtney Faith - posted on 10/18/2009

This may sound extreme but the first week of school my daughter was acting out and doing some similar things as you mentioned above. I took her ITouch away, her game systems,her laptop, and her cell phone. Didn't work. I went and sat in her classroom every day for three weeks. The behavior stopped and she is doing all of her homework now. There is nothing worse to these children then having their parent sit with them. If you cannot do it, then ask your parents. That is worse having grandma and grandpa sit with them.

Patty - posted on 10/15/2009

Here are some ideas:

1. Should he have no homework for the day; Provide 15 minutes of your own homework sheets in a subject he is working on at school. Explain either we do your homework and you get credit for it or we do my homework for fun. Get him in the routine and show how fun it can be! At first he will complain however he will start to feel confiedent and you will see the results..

2. Sit down with your child and show him how the teacher might grade him on missed assignments. Example 10 assignments only 4 turned in = 40% = D. My son loved trying differnt sample of this exercise, use a calculator or paper and write out the equation. Show him how easy it is to get an A in handing in homework if he does all the assignments.

3. Ask your son's teacher for help, become a working team. Finding a routine that works well keeping him organized at school. Example: when to put the homework in his back pack and when to turn it in.

4. Most important tell him how smart he is when doing his assignment. Kids who feel stupid are generally kids who have been told they are stupid in some indirect or direct way. Encouragement goes along along way.

5. Should he fail to turn in homework find something to follow up on, my son loves video games. If his teacher were to tell me he was not turning in his assignments I would sit him down and explain that I will follow up with his teacher once a month, if he is missing any assignments he will not be able to play video games on ------ days for the next month. He may earn them back by turning in all of his future assignments and I will check with his teacher in one two weeks, however I will allways check once a month.

Cecilia - posted on 10/14/2009

Have you tried enrolling him in some type of after school tutoring program, they can assit him with improving his grades. At home have you tried making the homework out of a game, or trivia maybe that will make him a little more excited about doing his homework.

Elizabeth - posted on 10/14/2009

That's what I do with my son! It works better than taking things away. Besides if your son is like mine he could have a stick and his imagination and he'd be more than entertained. Take the "time" away and they get it done.

Kate - posted on 10/14/2009

Wow, sounds like my 11 year old. We are doing better this year, because of our accountability model. Are you using an adgenda at school? Is your School on HomeworkNow? These tools have helped me but it is alot of work for me. Particularly with other younger kids and a job. But it is working. As soon as an assignment is missing I'm asking about it. Homework, he sits at the table after school until it is done. I don't take away all privileges, i just suspend what he is most interested at the time until he complies. Good Luck!!

Elizabeth - posted on 10/14/2009

Have you spoken to the teachers? I'm from Ontario, Canada and 1 of the things teaches are supposed to do is phone parents from the beginning of school year, if there are are problems. Make sure he knows there's that open communication with them. Is he having problems in other areas of his life, friends,extra curricular activities etc...? Is he having problems with communication and reponding? Teachers can be an invaluable tool in this situation, especially elementary.

Florbela - posted on 10/06/2009

my son is 11 and he is in 6th grade his school has an agenda that comes home everyday parents have to sign it that way we know wich classes have homework the agenda has all the homeworks for that day also we have access to all the teachers on line and some classes even have their books on line so the "I didn't bring the book" excuse doesn't work. My son's school also has a child study team who can be reached at any time when we the parents feel the child needs help with school I would also try the school guidance conselour first. good luck and don't give up maybe the problem is vey easy to resolve,

Christina - posted on 10/05/2009

Well have you talked to the school cause some times they can help you in that kind of problem, like you can talk to his teacher and see if she can tell you when they have homework or not. I know now that you can go on line and check your childs progress on line and see if there is any missing work exc. im not sure if you have that where you live but we do and i tell you what i love it. I would also just talk to him and ask him why he dont like to do his work? and ask him what he wants to do when he grows up and explane to him that he needs to get good grades to get some jobs out there in the real world. But i would talk with the school and see what they can help you with. I hope this helps you out and good luck.