A child with behavior problems...

Ginger - posted on 08/10/2009 ( 33 moms have responded )

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I would like to know if there is someone who can help me with my son who is 5 and has behavior problem... He getting out of controle and I need some advice,, But he only acts like this aroind me and hid dadlll Can anyone help...

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Jennifer - posted on 10/07/2011

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I have a 5 yr old and an 8 yr old with behavior problems. We have been in intensive family therapy for a while now. What i found works is when they are having a tantrum or misbehaving, I actively ignore the behavior. As long as they are not hurting themselves or any one else I do not look at them or speak to them. I turn my body away. I am always aware of whats going on, but I do not give them any attention. As soon as they calm down you praise praise praise. If they act up again right away you ignore again. Just remember when trying new techniques the behavior will get worse before it gets better, but you have to be consistent in anything you do.

April - posted on 08/11/2009

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I feel your pain...both my boys were this way, but were diagnosed with severe ADHD. We had to go with meds for them both. The oldest is now 12 and has come off his meds, but the youngest is 10 and still on them. Many disagree with medicine, but it kept my sanity, the kids alive, and my oldest son is in all honors classes as school...that wouldn't have happened without the medication because he would not have been able to concentrate and probably would have been kicked out of class on most days.

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He's comfortable with you and your husband that why he acts up with you. he know you will love him unconditionaly.

Paula - posted on 08/10/2009

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not sure what behaviour he has but maybe try taking his prize possession off him for a limited time or the big one we all use is time out in his room with no interuptions from tv games, toys etc just sit and think what he did wrong and then after bout 10 mins go and speak to him regarding his behaviour and let him know that you dont realy like the naughty boy in him and would like to see the good boy in him....

Jennifer - posted on 11/01/2011

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It always gets worse before it gets better. I know it is really hard to stay consistent ( especialy for me, I deal with depression and anxiety issues ) but it really is the only way to stop the bad behaviors. Have you tried family therapy? They can help you through this and give you more ideas on what might work. Also we have a daily reward chart, one side has 5 behaviors that we are trying to work on, the other side I let them choose their rewards ( with in reason of course ). My 8 year olds rewards are an extra 15 min of alone time with me to play whatever he wants, or extra drawing time. My 5 year olds are 15 min of extra Wii time, or TV time. They have to get three out of the five stckers for the day or they don't get their reward. I know it's hard, but hang in there, and stay strong.

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Joanne - posted on 08/23/2013

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Behavior problems at 5 years old is common. It's good that you are asking for some advice now as it is easier to revert his bad behavior to good behavior when he is still young. There needs to be an overall change in the way you are handling him. Somehow he is taking over your lives like he is protesting about something. Kids go into a protest at different ages depending upon their personalities. He sounds like a strong personality type which is actually a good character trait because it will carry him through life to get ahead. So it's something that you don't want to break but rather channel toward positivity not negativity. Anyone having this difficulty may want to check out http://www.truekidsstores.org. They actually have a story about a 4 or 5 year old boy that had behavior issues that got fixed within a few days. Check it out

Karle - posted on 05/29/2013

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Hi Maggy,

The first thing that came to my mind was setting up a visual schedule. My daughter is similiar to yours and I found that I had to be concrete, consistent and structured. WE set rules that we go over everyday. Keep your word. It helps a child to take you seriously.
I used a timer to teach my daughter patience. I would set the timer at a low number and she learned that if the bell did not ring it wasn't time to get up. I had her do puzzles and quiet activities that helped build concentration. In addition, playing board games helps with turn taking and teaching respect and considerate. Bullying can stem from various reasons and sibs are known to be jealous or competitive with each other. Games is a great way to work on a child's character tossing the ball, whatever sports they like. Hope it helps.

Maggy - posted on 05/14/2013

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my daughter is now six , and already started school. I think she is hyperactive and I do not know what to do anymore. He attention span is very little and does not complete her tasks. She losses interest in the necessary tasks and does not listen to teachers. She is attending remedial classes and have extra lessons but she is not there. She likes playing a lot, especially boy games, and she does good at that. She is also bully to her sisters sometimes, and cries a lot I even used few forms of punishments but I just cannot come up with a solution.

What can we do.

Terri Lee - posted on 05/01/2013

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my son is almost 16 come august 21. he never got into trouble till we moved to va. now he gets into trouble a lot going to court bringing knives to school knowing he's not suppose to. today may 1, 2013 he brought a knife to school for the 3rd time now and got suspended again. he may get put into juvie jail for it. he just went to court on april 25, 2013 for the 2nd offence. now this what to do.
im TERRI!

Anna Marie - posted on 04/18/2013

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I am a Grandma (48) & my thing is I Babysit for two 4 year olds, one 3 year old & my Grandson who is 5 I can get all the kids to listen to me but my 5 year old Grandson , he just seems to get into trouble all the time & he starts early in the morning is there something I can do ? I'm up for any advice! Thanks Marie

Eva - posted on 03/26/2013

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Hi moms, my little boy is a big head ache too. I am currently living as an expat in Malaysia. Things here are good and amazingly there is a very effective therapy here called Sleep Talk for Children.

Jacob turns my life upside down. I am so very tired and get really frustrated at times. But the drawback is that I do not have myy friends or family to help me out. My husband comes home late and by the time he's back, I am drop dead tired. Not too good for our relationship too.

But I found help through this Sleep Talk process by a local therapist called Joyce Hue. She teaches parents how to work with the child's subconscious mind. I was afraid that the huge shift to a different culture/ country would cause a lot of problems for Jacob. He started acting out, becomes destructive and hates people. But a month into doing this process, I see a big improvement in Jacob's behavior. Its a huge relief for me.

I do Sleep Talk with the therapist over Skype. It really convenient. And its cheap too (after the conversion). Joyce is really flexible. She has expat clients from Italy, Indonesia and she conducts it with them over Skype. Its worth exploring. Her center is called Advance Dynamics Asia.

Susan - posted on 03/13/2013

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hello mums i am sue my boy is 4 and doctors say so many things to me but laugh at me and say its normal is normal bitting kicking doors in pulling my hair bruises that a man would not give he is violent nasty abusive hates the word no can anyone give me some god damm help please susan

Toni - posted on 08/03/2012

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my son started that way but slowly it started leaking over into the school it didnt effect his grades but he got in school suspension a few times and i even had to sit in the class with him a couple of times. He is ADHD though and we are getting help from his dr and therapists Sometime they do it because they are frustrated about something but cant express it or their routine is messed up

Katelyn - posted on 07/31/2012

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My son is two, will be three in September. He can go from being all smiles to just plain angry without a cause. No form of punishment works...not for lack of trying. We have tried everything. He only behaves this way for me and his dad. He's been in the same daycare 5 days a week for over a year now. The daycare is starting to see the way he gets out of control. His behavior has gradually gotten worse during the course of the year. My parents keep telling me he is just a typical two year old boy. It gets so frustrating because he is extremely violent/aggressive with me. They don't see that. If someone tells my son to "stop that" and he is not used to being around, he immediately stops and starts crying. Then he wants me to console him. So everyone just thinks that I just can't handle a typical boy. I finally was at my wits end and scheduled him an appointment with the pediatricians behavioral counselor. I wrote down a page of characteristics+examples of each and explained what I meant by each thing. She took notes and observed his behavior for an hour. She looked at me and told me that I was doing nothing wrong, I must be exhausted and that I did the right thing by bringing him in. He is showing behaviors that are consistent with ADHD or ODD and these are not typical boy behaviors. She can not diagnose or say with certainty, so she scheduled him to see a child psychologist who is going to observe him for 2-3 hours before throwing out any diagnosis. We have an appointment a week with the counselor who is going to help us focus on behavior modification until he can be seen by the psychologist. We do not want him on medication nor is he old enough for it, so the counseling is our best bet. Call a counselor or a behavioral specialist and just explain the situation. They are the pro's trained to identify these things. Even after my appointment and with what the counselor said, my parents are still telling me that they just think he is really intelligent and that he is just a boy and blah blah blah. It makes me feel awful, but at least I know I am going to be getting help.

Ruth - posted on 07/24/2012

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I think my son has ADHD . I havent gone to the doctor to get him checked out yet. My partner was diagnosed with it when he was 7yrs old. my son is now 4yrs 6 months old and he is disrespectful. naughty pretty much 100percent of the time and doesnt listen to a word i say and loves talking back to me. he dont go to bed on time 4am this mornin he finally fell asleep. i need help too! lol anyone got any ideas!?

Samantha - posted on 12/27/2011

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@Jodi, wow, i have ADHD and told my gp i was certain my son has it due to seeing many of the same attributes and he laughed at me and told me it was my parental skills. Can I have your GP please, so much more empathetic :)



edited due to major bad onset of rubbish spelling :D

Jodi - posted on 12/12/2011

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I have a 10 year old girl, she recently been diagnosed with ADHD,OCD,ODD,and Anxiety problems, Her behavior problems started at 3 years old, I blamed everything, I tried everything, finally i had enough and went to see my family doctor, He could not believe what i had put up with over the years, he actually laughed when i told him i thought it was my parenting, I tried all natural remedies first, gluten free dye free, you name it, finally i went to medicine,Therapist and alot of doctors, Now she is medicated and doing ok, i won't say great because every day is a struggle, so my advice to you is to talk to your doctor, be as honest as you can, don't leave anything out...You might be surprised what you find out..good luck

Jennah - posted on 11/20/2011

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My 5year old acts up also, i think its the age, they test our limits and act out in public , somoe please reassure me its just a temporary stage ...

Trina - posted on 11/01/2011

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i know that staying consistent is the key but i have a very hard time with that..if im busy i just give in and let them do what it is they are bugging for...my daughter is 8 and my son just turned 6 he is really hipper and always on the go..he don't like to listen he just wants to do what ever he wants and he will laugh at u when you correct him..and my daughter she has a bad attitude and is really cocky to everyone she thinks that she is the boss...i get so mad and dk what more to do i have tryed everything and after a month or so i end up giving up cus it seems to get worse not better..any thoughts?

Jody - posted on 09/28/2011

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Maybe he uses up all of his best behavior at school and then feels free to 'be himself' when he gets home. What type of bad behaviour is he exhibiting? Sassy,, whiny, confrontations? My 5 year old daughter displays all of those unpleasant characteristic.

Chrystal - posted on 09/25/2011

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My first suggestion would be whatever is happening there has to be consistency. I know having a child with asperger's consistency is the best thing. Secondly, we make a good behavior chart where he gets to put stickers up. We have a schedule for most things with very few variations (even on weekends) unless we have the time to tell him about them and he has time to adapt to the upcoming change. We use time outs and he has to stand in the corner. If he gets out of control and cannot control his tantrum he has a specific room he goes in until he can calm down and come talk to us. I hope this helps you :) Inox me if you need any help!

Janet - posted on 09/06/2011

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seek help from a maternal and child health nurse - they can put u in touch with professionals like a child psychologist or behaviouist

Melissa - posted on 08/31/2011

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I to have a child with behaviorial problems and it can be quite exausting at the best of times, I find the best thing to do for me is to always stay calm no matter how angry you feel and talk to them in a soothing voice...when you show your frusteration it seems to make them that much worse. I find talking calmly to them and explaining things to them and then maybe a time out may be a must as well....good luck !!!

Christi - posted on 08/14/2009

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It sounds as though your son is not getting your undivided attention which children will seek whether it is in a postive or negative way. I have a son who was just currently diagnosed with explosive anger behavior and is currently getting medical treatment for this. So I feel your pain. Try giving positive attention when warrented and bad behavior give him a time out in his room or in a chair in a corner. The one punishment my son could not stand was when he had to keep his hand on the wall and be quite for like 5 minutes and as long as he continues to talk, scream, yell or whatever he has to keep his hands on the wall and until he quiets down he doesn't get off the wall either. You could try that one even. Boys tend to hate it worst than girls for some reason.

Melissa - posted on 08/13/2009

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Talk to your failmy doc I my self have a learning problem. Your doc may help you find learning tools that work you may have to try alot of things before you find some thing that works. One thing I have seen work is when you ask or tell your son some thing knee down so he can see you face (dont get right in his face that can make things harded) hold in hand or put you hand on his arm and talk to his in a calm tone then ask him to say it back to you some times if you take a little more time for him he will take more time for you. Just keep in mind STAY CALM he may not be able to hepl it he does so things. I hope this helps]

Lori - posted on 08/11/2009

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Your son could be wanting your attention and his dads. Any attention will do, good or bad. Try reading to him, short books that he can pay attention to, play games with him. Ask him what he would like to do, letting him choose can make all the difference. I have 4 boys ages 9 -19. This is what worked for me.

Brandee - posted on 08/11/2009

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I too had awful behavioral issues with my son. (Now 15) Started at a very young age. I attempted counseling, tested for ADHD, sought help from every where I could find. After yrs of issues, (that grew as the yrs passed) I found that the best remedy was consistancy! And boy was it tough! Finally, (thankfully) my son is becoming a respectable (always to everyone but me) young man. Of course love, affection and praise are needed in every child's life. But there too needs to be a degree of discipline. And again, with that, you need to keep consistant. It is a tough road, but, it pays off in the end! GL!

Heba - posted on 08/11/2009

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It's not clear ,what u are asking about. But children tend to behave badely if they have stress problems .try to remove causes of stress and u and his dad should try not to behave the way you don't want him to.some other children do this for attracting attention like they are saying" hey Iam here".A proffesional help is also useful.

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Google up "Brain Gym", special movements that help the brain balance itself. My 6-year-old was having tantrums (we called them "meltdowns"), and, after trying everything (he is our fourth child, so we had a lot of tricks), we did Brain Gym. From the first session on, there has been steady improvement. Now he can control himself and stop his outburst almost as soon as it begins, and the outbursts are becoming very rare.

Jessica - posted on 08/10/2009

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when my 14 year old boy was little i used to have a chair set in one corner, that was called the naughty boy chair. and everytime he would throw fits aor act out i would set him in that chair for 1 minute for evry minute he would carry on. so if it was 15 minutes that's how long he got. and everytime he would get up i would carry him back to the chair until he sat there the whole time without getting up. and the whole time i didn't say a word to him

Kim - posted on 08/10/2009

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Im not sure what problems you are having but my son did the same thing around that age he is now 16 and a very responsible and respectable young man, and I found out after he started acting out that he was really just wanting attention and he thought by acting bad he would get that so when he would do something sweet or nice that i would praise him and we would sit and do things together and showed him that to get attention he didnt have to do anything bad to get that attention, Im not saying your not doing things or not showing him attention just that some kids and i have noticed it mostly in boys they want more attention. I hope it gets better for you.

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