Holding back a grade

Dot - posted on 12/30/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi, what should I consider if I want to hold my son back a grade? Thanks.

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Shelley-Ann - posted on 07/19/2012

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I would also consider what the reasons are for wanting to hold him back. Is it his performance in school? What is causing the low performance? It could be that allowing him to go forward with caution, letting him know that he needs to pick up or he would be kept back next year, might get him to focus more on his work. Also consider how much time you would have to spend with him to do extra work if he's promoted, or can you afford a private tutor to help in his weak areas? Can he pick up the work if he moves on, or is he at a critical stage that he really needs to grasp the foundation material? Will holding him back and giving him more time with the material help?

Then there's the school environment. How much teasing will there be when he's held back? Considering his feelings is one thing, but also considering what he will have to go through with being held back, could assist in how the situation is handled. Some kids are understanding, others are not so understanding. In my daughter's school, kids aren't particularly mean, generally speaking. I know kids who were held back but weren't treated terribly by their friends, and the teachers were also very helpful so it really wasn't a big deal keeping the kids in the same class for another.

Which brings me to another point, think about the class environment and whether or not the teacher is a good fit for your child. Sometimes we take it for granted that teachers do their jobs, are nice people, and care a lot for our children. But we see on the news and on the internet all the time that not all teachers are encouraging or supportive. So, are the poor grades (or whatever the issues are) influenced by the teacher's attitude or the school in general?

There's a lot to consider, and I've thought about this alot myself.

Becky - posted on 07/09/2012

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I have held back my daughter and I considered her feelings and how he would be treated as her friends went forward into the next grade, but what really matters is whether or not your son needs to be held back because his education is the most important.

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