i need some advice for how to approach my 8 yr old to tell her that her absent dad want to meet her

Nikki - posted on 07/28/2010

tell her honstly as possiable without going into gory details about why he wasnt around.... dont force a meeting ask her if she wants to see him thats what i did with my son just this month he agreed and it went very well now he has 2 men in his life who love him and he is getting used to the idea..... try to include your husband in the talk so she sees its okay with him too (if it is) and explain that she doesnt have to choose between her father and your husband her heart is big enough to love both of them.... I told my Eric that his heart will grow big enough to love both of them and it wont take the love away from your husband if she loves her father too.... hope this helpd let me know how everything goes

Jane - posted on 06/07/2010

My experience is that the truth is always best and then let her lead the way.

Bridget - posted on 06/04/2010

thank you all for your advice i really appercate it i have been praying alot lately this is been a hard one for me i really did not expect to had to deal with this a the moment. i am going to try and be as honest as poisable with my lily and i know how smart she is i have recently meet with a lawyer just to see what the leagle ramifaction would be and am going towork out as civially as posibly with her dad but thanks for all your help and please keep us in your prays. we are planning to talk to her about all of this after she finishes school this year and i'll let you know how it works out.

Joleen - posted on 06/01/2010

My daughter's biological father has never been in the picture, but she knows about him and what happened. I would definitely suggest talking to her frankly. I had the best talk with my daughter when we went on a hike, just me and her. Be open and honest and don't lie or pad the truth. Kids are smart and will resent you later if you lie. My ex still has no desire to see her but she knows about him. Answer all of her questions. You don't have to get into major details, but general information will work. And I wouldn't leave her alone to meet him. If she is willing to meet him, be with her the whole time. She will need you. After all, he is a stranger to her.

Ma. Laarni - posted on 05/31/2010

Bridget, you are not alone in this situation. Many out there are experiencing the same problems as yours. Although, I am not in the same boat with you, I opt to offer some advice, hope it could help. First, pray. Pray for some guidance. You need not to be religious - just pray. Then talk to your kid, explain to her in the form of story telling about your past. Make it just simple. You know, kids now are intelligent they understand things we thought they couldn't. At the end, assure her that you and your husband still and will always love her. It will bring her good to know her true identity. You know the father and daughter bonding...

Christina - posted on 05/29/2010

I would let her know that her dad would like to meet her. I would tell her that he couldnt be there while she was growing up but would like to try and be there now. She will have questions and try to answer them and regardless if you and her dad get along, do not bad talk about him or she will feel that way towards him. The best thing you can do is just talk to her maybe while you are eating dinner rather than watching tv because a childs interests focuse on tv more than talking so while eating dinner would be the best way. I wish you luck and please let me know how it turns out.