When do girls start keeping a clean room?

Annetta - posted on 08/11/2009 ( 31 moms have responded )

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My thirteen year old thinks her room is too clean if she can see the floor. She takes her clothes off and drops them, in spite of being told daily to bring her clothes to the laundry room. Her clean clothes never see the inside of a drawer or closet, no matter how blue we are in the face telling her to put things away, throw her trash away, make her bed and so on. Will she ever learn to put things where they belong?

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Laurie - posted on 08/11/2009

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I tell you what worked with two of my boys. Don't you guys clean it up and when she don't have clean clothes in her room one morning thinks might change who knows her clothes might find in the hammer if she had to go to school in dirty clothes or that outfit that you think is so cute that she hates.

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TJT - posted on 08/11/2014

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My 14 year old has been told load of times to tidy her room, she will do a bit but after a couple of days it gets messy again.
She has got a really small room which just about fits a bed, wardrobe and a desk. If you use a dyson hoover you can move it about 10 times and that's with the chair underneath the desk.
We have taken stuff away from when she hasn't cleaned her room, like electricals and stuff but it doesn't bother her. We made a rule once that she couldn't stay up in her room unless its a night and if she wanted something me or her dad had to go up and wait outside to make sure it didn't take too long and it was something useful. That didn't bother her either.
With my daughter I have literaly tried everything but I just can't find anything that will work. Now the only time we tell her to tidy her room is when it is really bad, like if you can't see her desk and can't use her floor. The problem is if she is writing she does it on the floor, if she is using her laptop she will either use it on the floor or bed, she just wont use her desk.

Shannon - posted on 08/16/2010

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I have a 9 year old I'm just starting the help clean routine. Sorry I can't help. Pray or go Focus on The Family.org

Kimberly - posted on 08/15/2010

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My oldest is 25, next 23, last 16. Good luck! So far nothing looking clean here. Just close their doors

Carrie - posted on 08/08/2010

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What she does is disrespectful to you....I say if she can't put it were she is supposed to then she doesn't need it...take it way. And she'd thirteen maybe she should do her own laundry for a while. Take all of her stuff away and earn it back piece by ipiece. Don't put up with that she needs to respect you and her things....you doing her laundry is a nice thing and if she doesn't appreciate it don't do it...you providing her nice clothes is a nice thing and if she doesn't appreciated don't let her have them. I hope you get thru this ....you deserve to be respected mom...you aren't wall paper.

HOPE - posted on 08/08/2010

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It totally depend on the child. My 10 year old daughter has always kept her room clean. She make sure she make her bed and everything is in its own home (space). I on the other hand when I was a little girl didnt start until I was about 16. My son is 18 going on 19 and still cant keep a clean room.

User - posted on 08/06/2010

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I told mine I would take pics and show them on the internet and text them to all her friends.....She was 10

[deleted account]

My girls all started cleaning up after themselves around a year and a half. I still have to get onto them but they ALL clean their room and help keep the house clean. My kids are 13, 7, 4, and 2. My kids are told all the time to not be nasty and that many hands make light work.

Janet - posted on 05/29/2010

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Don't clean it for her and stop telling her to clean it. If she wants to have a dump as a room let her. when she has friends over she will be embarrassed about her room especially if it's a boy. Teens do the opposite of what they are told.

Annetta - posted on 05/24/2010

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She does her own laundry now--that is she puts them in. Sometimes she puts them in the dryer, but then she acts like the dryer is her personal dresser. I don't get the washer or dryer unless I move her clothes. I guess it would teach her if I put her clothes on the floor of the utility room when I need the washer and dryer.

Sheila - posted on 09/12/2009

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you never know when anything is going to change but let me tell you it always will my three girls hate cleaning but no matter what they have to do it. I believe some people like to clean and others don't the good thing about us being parents is right now we can make them do it and be blue in the face or close the door and never go in the room. I will be blue in the face tell my last one is 18 I beilve it will help them in the future

Natalie - posted on 09/10/2009

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i have a 15yr old, 11yr old,5 yr old and 3 yr old.............my 15yr old does make his bed, if he doesn't put his washing in the laundry it doesn't get washed,once a week the kids strip their beds and make them....beds have to be made from the 2 big kids in the morning...not to come down stairs till room is tidy....clean washing is to be put in closet or draws............i'm not saying they do it all the time u have to keep on top of them otherwise things get really messy and rooms start to smell!!! if their rooms r really bad they have to stay in their rooms and clean it till spotless and can't come out till its done.....there are more times their rooms are tidy than not now...but it is persistence.......you have to do it to prepare them for when they leave the home otherwise everywhere will smell and be dirty.........ur doing it for their wellbeing......like chores and doing them properly not half heartdly

Kerry - posted on 08/30/2009

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NO...quite simply No!! They either do or they don't. I have 3 kids and only 1 loves her room clean, its just a shame that she lives in the same room as her sister, so they constantly battle of clean rooms, and the older one ends up in tears over the younger ones mess. Its an ongoing battle... Wait till she moves out then she realise...I hope

Kim - posted on 08/28/2009

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I know this may sound crazy but a lot of child specialist would tell you that you should allow her to keep her personal space the way se sees fit but se must clean up after herself in the rest of the house. I make my 13 and 11 year olds bring their laundry to the laundry room if they want clean clothes. Both of my older two went through messy stages. When it got bad with my son we told him to clean his room by a certain time or we would be in with boxes. He didn't so we arrived on time and made him pack everything that wasn't were it belonged into the boxes. He was devastated but e slowly earned back all of his stuff and now when we tell him to clean up he does. We also try to ave realistic expectations of what their idea of clean is.

Annetta - posted on 08/27/2009

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My daughter's room takes about 5 minutes to get as bad as it gets, that's how much of a tornado she is. My husband has kittens over it (he is retired on disability so has all day to dwell on it), the cat runs thru as though something might jump out and get him. It doesn't bother me too much as I work all day and don't have time to do much of the housekeeping myself. Also I didn't do that great a job when I was her age.

Maria - posted on 08/21/2009

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My 11-year old boy can't even make the hamper. Next step--make the hamper or wash your own clothes. I don't mind showing him how. It would be my pleasure, I don't what else to do????

[deleted account]

can sympathise with u here hunny i have three girls aged 10.12 and 15 i also have a son aged 8 whom is autistic and to be honest think it a girl thing hun, my son and youngets daughter keep a clean room but my two eldest daughters well lets say i tell my husband am going to clean there room if i aint back in hour send in the search party. have to say though as my eldest is 15 she just starting to get into the mummy mode all girls get to and is tidying lot more gud luck with your daughter keeping her room clean just encourage her by syaing unless it tidy she cant have school friends over because they wouldnt want to see a messy room

LIZ - posted on 08/17/2009

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Lol.. if u figure this one out.. Please let me know!! I have 8 yr old twins.. will be 9 in Dec.. they are pigs...I just keep on keepin on when I go in their room and its a mess... however, they still sleep with me. so maybe I have bigger issues than a dirty room..lol. good luck and let me know when u find that magic age..or answer, whichever comes first.... Liz

[deleted account]

oh no! you mean to tell me girls NEVER start picking up behind themselves? I don't remember it being that way when i was a kid! (mother of 4 girls)

Morissa - posted on 08/16/2009

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I thought I was the only one with this problem! My daughter is 18 years old and her room is not livable(maybe to her). When I tell her to clean it, she takes about a minute to move clothes from the floor and onto any table and bang! She's done. I pass her room and look the other way because It will only make me depress. She started college last year September and It stayed clean for a few months until she came back for the summer. She is leaving in a few days so the room will be back to normal until she comes back again. The only thing I can say is that when she goes, I will clean it and when she comes it stays like that until she leaves. I'm hoping one day, she will come back during break and surprise me.

Catherine - posted on 08/15/2009

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I have a 7yr old step-daughter who also doesn't believe in keeping her room clean

and after reading comments posted by other mums with older girls there doesnt seem to be much hope,but some fantastic tips!!! thanks heaps

Michelle - posted on 08/15/2009

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Um, do we ever start to keep a clean bedroom???? Lol. I think I tried for a bit when I was 16, got pregnant at 17, had baby at 18 and she shared my room until I moved out a few months later. Keeping the room clean with all the baby stuff was a pain and then my then bf, now husband, and I moved out together had more kids and got married, etc...basically now it's not possible between the laundry of 6 people, all his paperwork lining every surface, my sewing stuff, and the kids things. Lol. ;) There is hope for your daughter though, I doubt she'll make the mistake I and a lot of other girls have made. Not that I regret mine, I love my oldest daughter and my husband, but still...to have a clean bedroom....It's a very nice thought.

Renee - posted on 08/13/2009

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My daughter is almost 18 and I am still losing the battle so I just make her keep the door closed so no one else has to look at it and she has to wash her own clothes which she has had to do for several years. I figure when she moves out on her own it will get better because it will all be her own stuff not her moms!

Helen - posted on 08/13/2009

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this all sounds very familiar - i now just close the door so i don't have to look at it!!! as for leaving the bed unmade Lily would just sleep on top of the mattress!!!

Kimberly - posted on 08/13/2009

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My mother had the same problem with me, unfortunately.
My Mom made me wash my own clothes at 11 (showed me how to use the washer and load the soap) and said if I had no clean clothes then it was my fault. I learned quickly. Then when I went on vacation for a week, they cleaned my room. I was mortified that they went thru MY stuff! You can try that if she fails to put her clothes away in the drawers. As a Mom, I understand that you need to make the kids do it themselves or they will never learn how to take care of themselves.
And yes, tell her no friends allowed til it's clean. Absolutely no food in the room! That will get gross! How about no TV or computer or games until it's clean?
As for making the bed, what about taking off the sheets and putting a new set in her room?(do not do it for her). If she can't remember in the morning, try a chore chart. She may be a little old to start one but it will help her remember.

Nikki - posted on 08/12/2009

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Are you giving in and doing these things that a 13 year old is very capable of doin? If so stop doing her laundry she will eventually run out of clothes!

Tricia - posted on 08/12/2009

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I tried it all. Everything that has been suggested. Didn't work. So I cleaned it. What happened was she doesn't want me in there. I went through all her stuff and she did not like that at all. So you can guess what happened....room has been picked up. I still will go in and make the bed because thats how I want it. I do a the big cleaning, it has been much better. Good luck

Spring - posted on 08/12/2009

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I too have a thirteen year old who refuses to keep a clean room. I have decided not to stress about it for now. She has to wash her own clothes if she wants clean ones to wear, and there is absolutely no food allowed in her room. As long as she complies with these two rules and the mess doesn't spill out of her room, I can deal with it. I figure as she gets a little older and starts to have more people over to visit, she will want to keep it cleaner.

Nichole - posted on 08/11/2009

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My daughter is 6 and just stopped cleaning her room. She used to be so anal about everything. Her bed had to be made, every toy in its place, shoes lined up in the closet and so on. This started at age 2. Only the 6 months or so she has decided to forget about it I guess. What does work with her is when I tell her none of her friends can come over til her room is clean. With my son who has never been into cleaning, I tell him he is grounded from his Video games and tv til his room is clean. thats the only thing that seems to work for him.

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