Would It Be A Good Idea To Tell My Daughter's Teacher About Past Abuse? If So How Should I?

Bekah - posted on 08/23/2012

Yes you should absolutely talk to the teachers.

I was in a very similar situation. My ex was carted away via ambulance due to an attempt at suicide at my home after he had physically abused my son.

My then 42 month old daughter seen quite a bit and believed her father was dead. She told her teacher that and would at random times start talking about him or would bring up different things. It really helped that the teacher knew what happened so she could steer her in the right direction. My daughter turned five this past April and she is doing very well.



To talk to the teacher just ask to meet with her for a few minutes and come out with "The reason I wanted to meet with you is to give you some background on (fill in your child's name). Her bio dad, or sperm donor or whatever you want to call him, is incarcerated for (fill in the situation). At that point the teacher will probably ask questions to make sure she understands fully and feel free to talk about your child's behavior in response to the situation. It will be essential for your daughters well being at school!!!!



I can assure you that with time and patience it will get better.

Frances - posted on 08/15/2012

I agree with the other moms - definitely talk with the teacher, so she'll be better prepared if your daughter says anything during school. Also, talk with the guidance counselor, if she's in an elementary school that has one.
This would also be a good time, to remind your daughter that these are private issues that she should talk about at home and with the therapist. That's a bit hard - you don't want to emphasize keeping secrets nor make her feel bad about what happened to you all, but I would think you'd want to let her know that she shouldn't be chatting about your personal issues on the playground either.
God bless.

S. - posted on 08/09/2012

Yes I agree with the others you need to inform the teachers, you won't be the first family they have delt with, with a situation like this. Just say what you have said to us, a brief summery of the situation with enough detail for us to know what we needed to know. My heart goes out to you both!

Denikka - posted on 08/09/2012

I agree that you should talk to her teacher. Just request a personal meeting, preferably before school starts, with her teacher and the principal. Just explain that your daughter and you were victims of domestic abuse and the person is now in jail. Explain that your daughter is getting therapy, but that she may bring up instances of abuse. Assure them that she has been removed from the abusive situation and that the abuser is completely out of the picture and in jail.
Give the teachers a way to contact you, phone number and e-mail, and encourage them to let you know the details of when, and if, she starts speaking to them about what happened. Keep a record of these instances and ask the teachers to let you know what she said. You can give those records to the therapist, and keep copies for yourself.
I hope you and your daughter can heal quickly and well from the trauma you both faced. Good luck and best wishes.

Michelle - posted on 08/09/2012

I think you need to be very open and honest with her teachers as if she starts bringing stuff like abuse up at school they are required by law to report it. Then you will have cps on your back and you don't need that. Just go in ask to have private conversation with the teacher and let her know your daughters situation including the fact that dad is in jail for the abuse. This way she can get tools in place to help your daughter deal with her emotions if they start to surface at school.