AM I BEING SELFISH??

Amanda - posted on 10/24/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I'm 19 years old going on 20 and im four months pregnant..ive been considering adoption for the reason i know i can't provide for my child. This is a hard choice for me but im barely struggling to keep myself together on my feet..the main problem is im an illegal immigrant who is fighting to get my social and my life started. im scared if i keep her i won't be able to provide and i don't want her to go though the same struggles i did if i can't even get a job or get into college. im deeply depressed because i don't have help and i love this baby in my tummy so much that everyday is a struggle for a decision..i want the best for my unborn daughter and i don't know if keeping her with me would be best..i can barely get my self a pair of jeans..the father is lost and oviously doesn't wana know about me or his daughter. i was hoping my sister could adopt her since she's married and can't have kids. they both have good jobs and i know they'LL give her everything she wants. am i doing the right thing? i really need answers im going depressed with all these thoughts and worries...

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Denikka - posted on 10/24/2011

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Only you can decide what's best for the baby and for you. In your situation, I would personally go through with the adoption.
Adopting to your sister would be the hardest thing possible.
It will be hard because you'll have to watch someone else raise your child. Parent in ways that you may not choose. But you'll still be able to see her. Watch her grow. Be involved in her life.
If you do choose your sister, the most important thing to remember is that the moment you give the baby over, you are no longer her mother, you are her aunt. And you must act accordingly. You must respect and support all of your sisters decisions regarding the baby, no matter what your personal thoughts are. If your sister chooses not to tell the baby that she is adopted, you don't get to tell her.
If you think that you can honestly do that, I would definitely choose the sister over an unknown couple. I would do your best to decide in the near future though. It is a traumatic experience no matter what, and you'll need time to prepare yourself, not to mention the legal aspects of everything.
Good luck :)

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