Lisa - posted on 01/06/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )
This is my first post to this website. Pretty much I am looking for mothers that has gone through what I am going through cause I really feel alone in all of this. Myboyfriend doesn't understand and neither does my family. Here is my story. I had my 2 boys taken from me because I was using drugs. I cleaned up and tried to get them back. But no matter what I did it wasn't good enough for the welfare system. The entire time my boys was in foster care they kept moving from place to place. Finally they landed in a nice home with a nice family. I had decided to give my boys up for adoption to the family because I seen how happy my boys were. Plus my caseworker pretty much told me that I was not getting them back. So I decided to do what was best for them because if I didn't there was a chance they would go back into foster care and possibly be seperated and I didn't want that. It was supposed to an open adoption but it doesn't feel like it. When I call I'm always rushed. Plus they only want me to see them at a McDonald's that is kinda far for me to get to. So I haven't seen them in a long time. Then just the other day I find out that they have changed their names. The adoptive family never told me. I had to find out here on facebook. It broke my heart when I found out. Now I feel like I am being erased from their lives and I keep wondering if I should keep going through all the stress just to see them or talk to them. I want them to be happy but I also want to be happy. I need to be happy for my other daughter I have at home. I don't want her to see me depressed and crying all the time. Please if anyone has any advice let me know. I could really use some because I really have no idea what to do and it might help just to have someone to talk to about all of this.