Open Adoption - would like to speak to Birth Moms

[deleted account] ( 12 moms have responded )

Our child was not planned, though i'm excited about the impending motherhood.

The father and I have split.

We are thinking of open adoption and i was wondering if there is ANYONE out in this community - or anyone that could lead me to the right community so i could talk to some birth moms.

The main reason we are thinking adoption is finances. We cannot support our child.

I'm looking for hopefully older birth moms as I am 26. It's a tough choice for me and i would love to talk to someone about it.

I want to keep the baby, but i worry i won't be able to provide for our chid no matter how much help I get.

Sorry i didn't know where to put this.

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Bethany - posted on 11/15/2011

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I am a birthmom as well. My son is now 16. I chose adoption for him when he was 2 1/2. I tried to do it on my own, and financially I just could not. I made too much to qualify for help, but my son deserved more. I do play the what if's all the time, yet, I have no regrets. I know I made the best choice for my son given my circumstances. I am always open to questions.

Katelyn - posted on 05/29/2011

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Sherise,
I'm a birth mother and am more than willing to talk about any thing regarding adoption. I have a very open adoption with the baby that I placed. You can ask me any questions of you can read my full adoption story (details and emotions and all) at myangelsfromgod.blogspot.com

Letta - posted on 03/08/2011

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Oh by the way i forgot to tell you that i have a semi-open adoption with the adoptive parents and i couldnt have choosen better parents and a better life for him and iam not going to keep it a secret from my 3 yr old son,he will always know he has a brother♥

Letta - posted on 03/08/2011

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Iam not older but iam 22 this saturday and i already have a 3 yr old son and got pregnant a second time and knowingly i couldnt financially support a 2nd child i choose adoption for my second child which ended up being a sweet baby boy who which i had Feb.26th 2011. I wanted to give him a garenteed future and i cant even garentee a future for me or my 3 yr old son. I want him to have everything and anything i couldnt provide him with,iam trying to get me and my 3 yr old son out of where we are living now because of there being not enough room and it is very stressful living here,there is alot of bickering and arguing and not enough room for me and my son let alone for the sweet baby boy i had, I do not believe in abortions so i knew from the very begining that adoption as what i was going to choose for this baby. I dont ever want my children to go without and i do my best with my 3 yr old but i knew i couldnt do it with another,i feel to that i couldnt of done it with 2 no matter how much help i get. Iam living at my moms as of right now and i want to be on my own one day and with 2 children i know in my heart i just couldnt do it and i know in my heart that i made the right decision. You can talk to me if you'd like,sorry im not your age but i have gone threw giving my child up for adoption and can answer questions for you or you can just talk if you want and i'll give you all of the emotional support i can. Hope i can help.

Melissa - posted on 02/15/2011

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You are welcome to pick my brain. I am 30 (now) but placed my son when I was 18, he was born when I was 17. I tried to raise him by myself for 10 months. I didn't have money and my parents kicked me out of the house when they found out I was pregnant. So I can honestly say that I have a lot of insight on it. My son will be 14 this year and he is a great kid. I love being able to be a part of his life. I have no regrets!! Hope this helps! If you want to ask me any other questions..go for it!

Marla - posted on 11/12/2010

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As for the milk, I disagree with the warm shower, and letting it release. That prolongs the process. I bound mine with ace bandages and wore a tight sports bra. When I took a shower, I didn't touch or rub them (god, it itched and hurt like crazy)and kept them out of the spray entirely...all in all it took about a week to dry up.

Bethany - posted on 09/02/2010

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Hey I'm new to this "group" but I"m kinda from the other side of the spectrum. My husband and I have adopted 2 children over the past 5 years, Jadyn will be 5 and Kamryn is 2 1/2. We chose to have an open adoption and I wouldn't have it any other way. In our eyes "open" is calling each other when we feel like it. We visit once a year and we talk on face book , IM, and things like that many times through out the week. I wish you the best of luck as things progress, open adoption has been wonderful not only for my husband and I but for our kids too, if you wanna talk to someone who's on the other side send me a message. - Beth

Sierra - posted on 08/29/2010

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it took mine a few weeks to dry up. if they get too swollen/ sore, try standing in a warm shower facing the shower head. it should open up the ducts and release some milk. thats what i did to help mine.

[deleted account]

Ok, ladies thank you for the support. What prompted all of you to give your child up? you can e'mail me at sparkling_rainbows@hotmail.com or private msg me here.

Also, if you give up your baby....how soon does your milk dry up and do your boobs get smaller? Mine are getting kinda big and it bothers me...

Thank you again. It's a hard decision and i cry everyday.

Sierra - posted on 08/26/2010

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I put my youngest daughter up for adoption when she was born. I couldn't have made a better choice for her. She's almost 2 and has a wonderful new family. I'm here if you need any advice

Christine - posted on 08/24/2010

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I could give you info about some birthmothers who have placed in the past. Luckily, my biological mother did and I had a wonderful life. Luckily, my daughter's biological mother did too cause now we have her. It was the most unselfish act that either mother could do. Please let me know if you want to talk to someone. :)

Angie - posted on 08/09/2010

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Sherise,
I am currently in an Open Adoption with my son's adoptive parents. I had my son on April 20, 2010 and I was 24. I wanted nothing more than to keep him but I knew that I would never be able to give him the life that he truely deserved. If you have any questions or anything just let me know, I am more than happy to anwser them.
It is a BIG decsion that you are thinking about making, as a Mom you will sacrifice for you child no matter if you keep this amazing gift that you are carrying or not.

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