I just came out to my family, friends, and kids!

April - posted on 03/16/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I thought about it for awhile and was scared to for the most part, didn't know what kind of reaction I'd get and my family is uber-Conservative right-wing wacko "Christians". I was talking to my kids and finally just told them "I am bisexual" and explained what it means (my kids are 12, 10, and 9). They were all accepting and understanding although my oldest son might have been indoctrinated a little by my family, we are working on erasing that. My daughter said she is bisexual too, she is 10, and I've always thought she might be either bi or a lesbian, just a mother's intuition I guess. To see if she was just emulating me or if she was sure, I asked a couple of questions like "So you would marry a boy or a girl?" She said "Yeah it doesn't matter the gender of the person I am with" So I think she gets it and knows what she is talking about. The next night her younger brother asked her about it, she got mad and was being very sensitive thinking he was making fun of her for being bisexual but he assured her he just wanted to know if she would marry a girl. I hope to ensure she is proud of it and not embarrassed or upset at all by her orientation.

It is so hard to find bi women, I am engaged but my fiance understands my desires and needs and is totally okay with me fulfilling them, in fact he doesn't request that he is there either. Most guys jump at the chance if they think they're getting a threesome. I'm so glad my guy is accepting and open. Now if only I could find a hot woman to fly to the moon with, I'd be super happy. There is something goddess-like about a woman, her soft touch, sensual body, just everything about her and enjoying her body is amazing. Hopefully I won't have to wait too much longer, it's been 3 years. I'm ready.

All in all, I'm happy and feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I've needed to do this for a long time. Now I have. I am so, so, so happy.

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11 Comments

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Amanda - posted on 01/31/2011

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oh i'm so not out to anyone!! I mean there are those close to me who have suspicions that i neither confirm nor deny. and some know that i've been with women in the past, but not that it's something i'm still interested in. I don't feel like I'd be disowned or anything, i dunno just not something i'm that comfortable with yet.....

Lin - posted on 12/09/2010

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Getting it out there does take a lot of weight off of you! I haven't had to come out to my kids yet (they're almost 3 and almost 1 - they're not going to get it), but I remember being terrified of telling my extended family. When I was in college, I sent letters to them, explaining my orientation and what it meant (some people were still confused when I introduced my to-be-husband the next summer, but those people in particular are idiots anyway), and my straight female friends took me to a (female) strip club, trying to lighten the situation for me ("If you think your mother is truly going to kill you for coming out to your family, you might as well get some action while you can. And this strip club is offering free pizza", which it really did - little did they know that a group of 16 women would take them up on the offer LOL).

Ashley - posted on 11/29/2010

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Latisha, I completely understand what u mean by the christians and republicans. I'm both of them myself. I came out to my family about my sexuality when I was 15, and I was almost disowned by my whole family. My family is racist on everything. Homosexuality, Blacks, Mexicans, anyone who is not white. I'm not that way, my fave saying is " I hate everyone equally". No one is perfect and I only judge them by their attitudes not by the color of their skin. I haven't came out to my kids yet, but I'm going to have to evetually. My husband is just now really getting into it with me, even though he has known from the start. I have to let him get comfortable with it before I go and tell my children. Congrats to all of the women who have had the courage to come out to their families. I know it isn't an easy thing to do.

Latisha - posted on 11/17/2010

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Congrats to you all who came out! I have always been attracted to females. I recently came out to my family and most of them are supportive except a few. My husband and I explained my sexuality with our kids before I came out to the rest of the family.They are still young but understand and accept it. I am also a Republican and a Christian, but I understand that many of people who are Republican or Christian are aganist homosexuals, but not all of us fit into that "hateful" mold like most.

NikaMomofTwins - posted on 11/05/2010

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I love women but have never thought of being in a full on relationship with one! I think my needs are more sexual in nature not so much mental! Hell i think my husband PMSs enough for me and any other woman out there, i dont think i could deal with another womans emotions being like my own. I basically just like being with a woman as a friend and a sex partner.. its all about shoe shoping and lickin kitty to me lol! My husband says im such a man for being that way but, I cant help how I feel, or maybe I just havent met that woman to change my mind.

Clare - posted on 08/12/2010

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I have known since I was a teen that I felt different about my own sex. I had a few fumbles at 13 under the guise of kissing practice. The feelings I had were incredible. I never forgot. But I was carried along with being mainstream and did all the usual things. At university I had a short relationship with an out and out lesbian but knew that wasn't for me - and it was ok to do things like that when you're that age!

Got married, had two wonderful daughters, but knew it wasn't right. Separated two years ago on very amicable terms - he is a lovely guy - we just didn't hit it off as a couple. I came out with my daughters who were both very understanding and supportive. I'm lucky that my ex has the kids every other week so I have 1 week as a mum and the next as a single woman which is great.

I mainly have relationships with other women but occasionally enjoy male company. One girl friend was really into hair in a big way and persuaded me to go short - which I absolutely love by the way - and to shave my pussy. The latter has taken some explanation as I keep it bare now. Penny is intrigued and keeps asking whether she can do it! My response is that it's up to her although I think she probably wants me to say yes.

Clare

Laura - posted on 05/24/2010

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biggest releif in the world was to be open and honest to my family and kids about my sexuality...so much happier now!

Sara - posted on 05/04/2010

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well I was lucky I guess....I grew up knowing my mom was bi and so when I realized I was it wasn't a big shock or anything. Family should always support life decisions like that and just encourage kids to be the best people they can be regardless of sexual orientation

Melissa - posted on 04/09/2010

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My mom has known since she discovered things when I was a teen. She was just happy we weren't in some guy's backseat getting pregnant. My ex never knew, neither did my girlfriend's ex. I've been divorced nearly four years. The last guy was while I was still pregnant and I have no desire for one now. My first girlfriend now lives with us along with her daughter. We're pretty open about it and share a bed. We love each other though it's not romantic. Seldom do we turn down an experience with a new girl.

By the way, the girlfriend I've known all this time is my cousin.

Kayla - posted on 04/07/2010

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my bf is the opposite with you girls. I told my bf that i am bi when we first got together and that was 4 years ago. He is not very understanding about it. He thinks that that kind of thing should be between man and woman. It hurts me so bad to think that he cant unserstand my needs and desires. He is NOT into a threesome or even the word threesome. I have asked him about having one and there was no way in the world would he want to be in a threesome. He thinks that i would pay more attention to the other female then i would him. He is also scared that i would leave him for the other girl. i have tried to meet other bi's and go behind his back about it and he found out and got so pissed off with me. He just doesnt get it. He always asks me if i am not satisifed with him. I tell him i am, but i want to know what else is out there. We have been together since i was 16. I am now 20 and he is 37. But to me age doesnt matter and it is all in your heart. Our families are accepting to the age gap thing. The only thing that i want is to know more about what else is out in the world. I love being a mom but i am sick and tired of being stuck at home all the time. The only time i get out is when he isnt working and that is on sundays. so during the week i cant go anywhere. He doesnt want me to go out and explore the world because he thinks that i might leave him. It pisses me off that he is thinking that way. I have threatened to leave him several times. He has an 8 year old son whos mom passed away when he was 2. So i have been a mom since i was 16. I love being a mom but i need to get out. I also dont have any friends to talk to or hang out with because they all left me when they got their own boyfriends and they got into drugs and i wasnt into that kind of stuff. My mom is understanding of me because she is a lesbian. So i finally came clean with her a few visits ago and it felt wonderfull to have that mother daughter talk. I was always bounced around foster homes when i was little so i never got to know my mom like i wanted.
sorry it is so long. i just got all these thoughts in my head and i couldnt stop typing. it just kept coming out.
ok i got to stop

Michelle - posted on 04/06/2010

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Hi April,

I understand your feelings oh too well. Both of my parents are also ultra-conservative and don't accept my bisexuality. Fortunately my husband always has. And yeah, occasionally we do indulge in a threesome, and i know he enjoys the attention he gets from that.

Coming out to your family isn't easy. I'm intriuged by your 10 y/o daughter's comments. She sounds mature beyond her years (that can be a good thing). We have an 11 y/o daughter and she too is mature beyond her years. She understand and accepts my sexuality, and in doing so i know she is open-minded about her own sexuality. That is a beautiful thing.

I would like to hear more of your thoughts on the matter.

hugs and kisses~ Michelle