What to do about the ex?!?!

Kira - posted on 09/11/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My bf's ex will not stop inviting herself to our house when we have gatherings and such. She comes and makes a fool of herself. Gets drunk and loud and sometimes even invites poeple from her family over. I told my bf that if she comes again that I will leave!

Does anyone have a solution for this or have the same problems with the ex?

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7 Comments

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Steph - posted on 11/16/2010

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All I can say is you need your BF to deal with it!! & if he see no problem or can't handle it. Then its better to leave because it will not get better. The situation could back fire and you could be the one being blamed by family members if things get bad and she doesn't let him see the kids or other things. Ultimately, its not your place to say anything especially since you are not his wife. Sorry if this is harsh, but I have been in your situation and this is how mine turned out.

Tracey - posted on 10/25/2010

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Hi Cheryl, I would wait until she is home and sober. You could call her and tell her that she should only be at the house when she is invited and that she is not welcome to show up unannounced. ask her how she'd feel if the table were turned. your bf needs to talk to her too and lay some boundaries.

Cheryl - posted on 03/01/2010

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Tell him to man up and deal with her or you will be forced to call the cops or result to another way like speaking up for him. It is not right and seems to me that he is afraid of her and doesnt know how to speak up to her or tel her NO! I have the same problem. He is so afraid of his ex and cant tell her no ever. Pisses me off.

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If your boyfriend doesn't take care of the situation after you've asked him to then I would definitely call the girl or pull her to the side, where the kids can't see, and let her know how you feel. After that, call the police on her to get her out. It's inappropriate for her to intrude on your property and invade your privacy. I can imagine how uncomfortable it is. My bf's ex does some things that I don't agree are appropriate and I called her out on it. She was just clueless about it and realized after I explained my point on things that she was behaving wrong. End of story. Maybe she is that....ignorant she has no idea how to behave anymore. Some people just don't have any common sense. Hope it has gotten better for you and your family.

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id say nothing to her...shes his past not youres...tell him what you want him to say hto her over he phone..nothing is wrong with seprating partenting...they ghave a divorce for a reason..which means seprate partenting..u will always be un happy if this arrangement stays the same...im in a simliar sitation...bf has a child with ex wife..id never allow that...they keep there distance thank god

Kira - posted on 09/11/2009

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Yes, they have 2 kids together. He has said he doesn't invite her and tells her not to come. She likes to be all in other peoples business and make herself known. At what point is it OK for me to say something to her the next time she shows up ininvited?

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why does she come over?does ur boyfriend have kids with her from before.....if so that should not be allowed at some point someone needs to draw the line..i dont think ur boyfriend would like that if the tables were turned...and if there are kids invloved its about seprate parenting...which means during his time and your time with her kids she should not be around...

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