Bike Bliss

Cherilyn

I'm with Germaine. Why on earth would you remove obese kids from their families? There's enough shame and pain around being overweight, and putting kids with bad exercise and eating habits through the trauma of being separated from their families is just going to add to their problems. I'd bet that it would cause them turn to overeating even more to help them deal with the stress of being separated. Our resources and time would be far better spent giving these families lifestyle support so they get out for simple exercise and learn how to prepare simple, healthy meals. I'm on a mission to change the way people think about exercise so the focus is no longer about results. Exercise should be about the joy of moving your body and being strong, not a number on a scale or a clothing tag. I'm hoping to shift the focus from weight loss, miles run or time achieved to remove shame from people struggling with obesity. Exercise is really about pleasure.

Cherilyn

Oh, there are so many TABO (True And Bleedingly Obvious) suggestions around this topic! Of course it helps to find a gym that offers child care or use a workout video when the baby is napping. But not everyone has access to a gym, other child care or a baby who naps predictably and soundly. My first suggestion is actually a permission slip. You hereby have the right to completely redefine your workouts. Short workouts still count. You don't have to do the same workouts that were possible for you before children. Fitting in 10 minutes of core workouts like crunches or lunges is far better for your body and mental clarity than nothing. A 15-minute bike ride or run is enough to clear your head and get you out of mommy mode for a while. My second suggestion is to do appliance workouts. While an appliance with an automatic shut-off is running, get moving. You'll feel virtuous for multitasking without having your attention pulled in two different directions! For a quick workout, get moving while the rice cooker or coffee maker is running. For a longer workout, use a dishwasher, washing machine, or dryer. Most of all, consider looking at workout time as a treat. A time to breathe. A time to get outside your usual responsibilities and the worries rattling inside your head. You'll be more likely to make time for exercise if you see it as a relief rather than one more thing you oughta do before you can sleep.

Cherilyn

Ideally, the best thing to do is keep your child close. I don't mean smother them or shadow their every move. I'm talking about putting yourself in the position of being point person. 1. For a week or two (or a month!), schedule fun activities that keep your child busy with family or structured activities that don't involve this friend. This will start your child looking to you as their compass instead of this other kid. If the situation is really bad, consider taking your child out of school for a week and go away with them, somewhere away from friends and Facebook. Take away their cell phone. Kids can only have one attachment, and it's either going to be you or their peer group. Make sure it's you. 2. Make the sacrifice to know where your child is during those in-between times, like after school or before the basketball game. Unstructured time is bad news. 3. DO NOT criticize the other child at home. This will just make your child have to choose loyalties and anything you say could get back to the other family, which is sure to cause unnecessary drama. 4. On the other hand, feel free to say, "I know this child is making some choices that could get you in trouble later, and I know you don't want that sort of mess. Please feel free to use me as an excuse if you need to get out of a tricky situation." 5. Be supportive of your child, even if you're fearful. Say things like, "You have great instincts. You make really good decisions." So many kids are silently praying for their parents' approval. Don't make them hope. Say it. Live it. 6. Do not shame your child or threaten them if they are in contact with this friend. Your child needs your support and love, not fear or bullying. Again, don't make them choose between you and their friend. 7. If this friend is in your child's class at school, talk to the teacher and ask if they can keep the kids apart when possible. For more on dealing with kids who are attached to their peers instead of parents, I highly recommend Gordon Neufeld. His work is gentle, powerful and downright amazing. He's all about connection, not control. Search for his videos on YouTube. http://neufeldinstitute.com/ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqzI5yvA-iA&feature=related

Cherilyn

Many children who are shy need to feel attached to people that they're comfortable with before they feel safe to venture out and initiate play. When they're ready, they'll do it willingly, without tears and fears. Let your child be.