About A’Driane Dudley & her Blog
A’Driane is a winner of Top 25 Postpartum Depression Blogs by Moms - 2012
What advice would you give to moms who are struggling with PPD?
SEEK HELP. Don't be ashamed to seek treatment. Speak to your doctor or healthcare professional.
Educate yourself about PPD, it's symptoms and methods of treatment. www.postpartumprogress.com is the perfect place to start.
Find other moms who are going through the same battle. Whether it's online or in person, build yourself a support group of women and mothers who can talk, laugh, cry, scream, and celebrate your victories with you.
Celebrate your victories, no matter how small or trivial they may seem. Seriously, if you brushed your teeth today, get up and do a happy dance about it. If you managed a smile or a small laugh-celebrate it, brag about it to someone who will do the same.
Write. Write it out. Everything, all your emotions, pour everything out onto paper in a journal or on a computer screen.
Don't be afraid to be honest with yourself about how you're feeling and what you're experiencing.
BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Know that this gets better. It might seem like the light at the end of the tunnel doesn't exist or that it's too far to reach, but it's there and you can reach it. Don't give up. EVER.
When you're struggling with a physical or mental illness, how do you keep up with all the demands of motherhood?
My therapist once suggested that I try yoga. She said it would help me find the comfort in the uncomfortable and teach me how to just be present in the moment.
As a single parent who lives with a mental illness, it's easy to let the demands and needs of life take over, but I'm learning that sometimes you just have to stop and just be. Whatever I'm doing, whatever I'm feeling, sometimes it's necessary to just be. Life can be handled tomorrow, the dishes will get washed eventually, but taking the time to be with my kids and even just spend 5 minutes with myself is vital. I need that 5 minutes of silence, of laughing with my children, of doing something that feeds my soul.
When I was in the depths of my PPD being around my children and taking time to just be with them was so overwhelming and terrifying to me I couldn't do it. So I had to take it slow and just start by taking 5 minutes in the bathroom to myself everyday. Eventually I worked up to spending 5 minutes on the floor with my boys, watching them play. In time being with them became more important than cleaning up or doing homework.
Being present in the moment helps me focus on what's important and also helps me put things into perspective-it helps me prioritize and yes, find comfort in the uncomfortable.
I also had to change my expectations of myself, be more realistic and focus more on just being mom instead of being perfect. There's no such thing as a perfect mother, so I have to ditch the quest for perfection. It's not easy, some days are easier than others, but it helps me keep things in perspective.
I laugh at myself. I have to or else my screw ups will put me in tears.
What's a mood booster that helps you get through a bad day?
Dancing. Lots and lots of dancing to all kinds of music.
Screaming into pillows. Chatting with the #PPDChat army on Facebook and on Twitter. Reading other women's experiences on their blogs. Taking a walk outside.
Did I mention dancing?
What are your favorite blog posts?
How can moms find time to work out?
View All Answers
For me, I try to find time to work out by getting my kids involved in some kind of cardio activity. Whether I'm chasing them around my apartment being the "Tickle Monster" for 20 mins, or I turn on some music and we just go "bananas" dancing and jumping around for 20-30 minutes. It gives me a workout and helps them burn some energy...which tires all of us out!
I also try to only do activities I like (yoga, dance) because I find that if I like it, I'll actually make time for it.
I love these answers, they are all really helpful. I'm going to try some of these out myself.