I cry a lot to elicit guilt driven acts of kindness from him like small gifts or times where he feels so badly that he takes the children for hours so I can have time to myself. Works like a charm.
We might also try to have weekly dates at home. Going out each week doesn't work financially with three young kids, but just turning off the TV, wearing something a step up from sweats, and a good bottle of wine gets the conversation flowing and a chance to reconnect as people instead of as parents and partners trying to successfully run the business of a home.
But the guilt thing really makes me feel happy and romantic....