Growing up, I was drowned under the imagery of saint like mothers, caring and soft spoken. Soon after I became a mom, I realized that moms are more like war commandants: developing military tactics to manage tantrums, feeding and sleeping routines, leveraging all resources they have (nanny, family, savings, wine etc.) to win all the battles (career, motherhood, love), yelling marching orders, being stuck in their trenches previously known as their apartment with sleep deprivation, wearing combat clothing namely sweatpants and nursing tops and they also get battle scars from being scratched and punched by their tots.
Don't cry. This is good. Yes, you won't be a saint like person but you are better. Because whenever you think you royally screwed it up and that you are losing the fight, someone in the motherland thinks you are a hero.
And like a commandant, wear proudly your physical and emotional scars and let an army carry you. There is no war worth fighting for on your own.