41/2 mo. old still getting up every 2-3 hours at night!

Nicole - posted on 01/14/2009

Yep totally normal and most breastfed babies do not sleep through the night (which is considered 4-6 hours, not 8 by experts) until 1 yr, and many even closer to 2. This is normal.

Remember, breast milk digests faster than any thing else and no studies have been able to prove that giving babies solids get them to sleep better. NONE! So that isn't wise to start them early as it may lead to health problems down the road.... more food allergies than if you had waited as suggested.

She was likely getting sick and they also go through many growth and developmental spurts during the 1st year that totally mess with sleep. This is normal.

Check out this fussy period calendar to get a good idea of when you're baby will be going through growth and developmental leaps that will cause a change in behavior and sleep patterns... it tends to be RIGHT ON!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=19...

Also, consider co-sleeping/bed sharing so you can sleep and baby can nurse. We did this at 6 mo. when my son started waking every 1.5-2 hours and I being a full time working breastfeeding mom went almost nuts. It was a life saver. My son is now just over 2 years old and has transitioned into his toddler bed at the end of our bed very nicely - as I told him I needed him to as I was getting kicked too much in the night and since I have a baby in my tummy and need my sleep, I needed him to sleep in his bed now. He's doing great... transitioning very well.

Alison - posted on 01/14/2009

Hahaha my son is 20 months old and still waking up probably more than 4 times a night. Though last night it was only twice. I just want to say that it is normal.

Ruth - posted on 01/14/2009

Thank you for all your advice. I just wanted to give everyone an update. A day or 2 after my post my little girl got sick. She is finnally getting better. While she had her cold she was waking up more (as expected) I would nurse her and she would go back to sleep. She is almost better now and is getting up every hour. I feed her after it has been 3 hours. When she wakes up in between i just put her bink back in and let her fall back to sleep. I tried a nap today with out the swadle me....it looks like we are going to be using it for a while longer. She did fall asleep without it, but then woke up in about 5 minutes. She did that twice and that is it. Then she just cried. I put her back in the swadle me and she is sleeping now. I will try again in a few weeks.

Sarah - posted on 01/14/2009

My son is 8 months old, and he has gradually been waking more and more at night over the last 3 months or so. Then again, he has also cut 5 teeth in the last 8 weeks! As for learning to self-comfort, some babies are just really bad at it. My middle child took to Ferber like a champ, but my first had zero self-comfort ability for about 3 YEARS. Each child is different, and right now, we don't even have an actual bed for my youngest, so "letting him fuss for a few minutes" isn't even an option. I agree with the above posts of more nursing, less swaddling, etc. And also the advice on don't try anything that doesn't jive with your mothering style/instincts. My oldest, who couldn't self-comfort until she was 3, now is the best sleeper in the house, without any "sleep-training" at all. Just gave her time to develop at her own pace an figure things out when she was ready. As for my baby, we know it's only a stage, and soon his baby days will be gone forever, and he will have the rest of his life to be independent and such. Keep up the good work, Mom!

Jessica - posted on 01/13/2009

Totally normal for her to wake and to even be hungry. My daughter is going through the same phase after having slept through the night for a few weeks when she was 3 mos. Don't let her cry it out. She's waking for a reason and crying is her only way to tell you she's hungry or just wants the comfort of your embrace.

Danielle - posted on 01/13/2009

I have to agree with Kristin K's post. Something to keep in mind, babies don't eat, walk or talk like adults, so it is not always reasonable to expect them to sleep like adults. My daughter is 14 mo old and she still wakes up every few hours. It's tough, but I know that right now she wants one of her parents and some day she will be sleeping all night and I will miss our night time cuddles. Oh - and keep in mind, your baby may have teething pain at night and that could be the reason for waking.

Amber - posted on 01/13/2009

Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth is a GREAT book! It not only talks about how to get your child to sleep but about how their brains develop and what they need at different ages. His motto is that "perfect timing produces no crying". I didn't believe it when I read it but I have found it to be mostly true. Babies do go through sleep cycles just like we do. They need to learn how to soothe themselves back to sleep. Yes some of the wakings are because she is hungry but most likely not all of them. The challenge is figureing out which is which and allowing her to learn how to put herself back to sleep when she's not hungry. As well as learning the difference between a fussy "I'm lonely "cry and an "I'm hungry cry". When I'm in doubt I use a kitchen timer set for 15 minutes. I turn down the volume on the monitor and when the timer goes off, if my son is still crying, I go to him. Most of the time he is asleep by the time the timer goes off. I usually end up having to feed him once (sometimes 0 times, sometimes twice) during the night. (our night is from approx 6:45 PM to 7:00AM). Oh and doctors define "sleeping through the night" as 6+ hour stretches.

Katy - posted on 01/13/2009

Interesting, I have the exact same issues with my 4 1/2 month old!  Until recently he was waking every 1-2 hours through the night, so you're not alone!  Now he varies - some nights it's 1-2 hours, some nights it's 2-3, some nights I'll put him down at 7:30 and won't hear from him until 3am.  One thing I do keep consistant is not to feed him when he wakes until after 3am.  I really think this has helped him to go back to sleep faster - he doesn't necessarily expect a feeding, just help going back to sleep.  Like you said, this is often just a few minutes of popping that binki back in and rubbing his cheek until he drifts off again. You're not alone - mine doesn't sleep through the night, either!  AND he never naps for more than 30 minutes!

I'm so glad that we're not the only ones still swaddling!  We still swaddle for all naps and nighttime sleep.  I have tried weaning him off of it, but he just flails his arms as soon as you put him down and cannot seem to soothe himself without it.  If he pops out of it in the middle of the night, he's up and can't sleep again until he's back in it (even though he cries when you wrap him back up!) I wouldn't feel bad about the swaddle... whatever helps, use it!  Your babe will let you know when he is through.  The only thing I worry about is that now he's starting to wiggle so much that he can move around the crib even when swaddled, but then can't get himself out of a corner or up against the bars b/c his arms are not available. 

When Quinn wakes up in the middle of the night, I first let him cry for a bit.  I can hear when he will not soothe himself.  I never let him cry for more than 5-8 minutes, which our pediatrician says is OK at this age, but no more.  Sometimes he goes back to sleep, sometimes not.  We also got one of those Fisher Price aquarium things you attatch to the side of the crib and it plays soft music and has soft lights and movement.  Sometimes this will help him drift off...

Anyway, best of luck, and let us know how it goes - it's nice to have company in this sleepless world!

Danielle - posted on 01/13/2009

Im gonna try your recommended book!

Danielle - posted on 01/13/2009

I didnt start a sleep schedule until Sienna was 6 1/2 months I went with a more relaxed ferber method to where i would put her down and let her fuss for 5 min intervals.  And I still I am experiencing the same thing as you. The reason our babies are waking and not able to fall back asleep is because the comfert methods we take (giving her the binki, patting her back, ect.) she doesnt know how to do it on her own. She wakes and thinks "o no what do i do now" (as she cries) then mom or dad come in and she says " ahhh ok thanks for handling it dad or mom, now i dont have to find a way to comfort myself”  So when your ready to allow her to fuss ( I wasn’t until she was 6 ½  months) she will realize u mean business and innately she will find a way to put herself to sleep and when she does wake in the night she will look around and think hmmm still night and fall back asleep! (this is my hope!) Also try different things keep the room the same for bed time as the same in the middle of the night ex. Keep the right light on as you read a book and lay her down and don’t turn the night light off until the morning also try and see if she would be more comfy without the swaddle at some age shes gonna say enough it enpugh!!! Good luck! Its all trial and error!

Emily - posted on 01/13/2009

The "No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She explains that everyone (including adults) go wake multiple times during the night... it's just how our sleep cycles work. The trick is teaching little ones to soothe themselves so they don't need you unless they're hungry or sick or something. Her book has some great, gentle, effective suggestions for helping little ones sleep all night. :)

Tayo - posted on 01/13/2009

Quoting Amber:

Have you started solids yet?  It could be she is wanting more food.  We just started my son on solids and since then he goes for about a 9 hour stretch at night before he wakes for the first time.  Before that he would wake about every 2-4 hours. 

You mentioned that you still swaddle her.  Maybe she needs a little more freedom.  She is getting to the age that she is probably a little more mobile, reaching for things, sitting up a little better, etc.  Try to swaddle her loosely. 

Hopefully some of this helps.  Just know that you are not alone, most of us who breastfeed have similar problems. 

It is not recommended you feed a baby solids until 6 months of age, especially if brest fed because they are already getting all they need. If the baby is more hungry, she should breastfeed more, not start solids. I started mine on solids at 5 1/2 months because he had disgestion issues (threw up constantly) and it made no difference in his issues and I still feel it was too early.

Tayo - posted on 01/13/2009

My 15 (almost 16) month old still wakes up at night, anywhere from once or twice on a normal night to 6 times when he's sick. I breastfeed him for about 5 minutes, then let him go back to sleep on his own at this point. When he was 4 1/2 months, I always breastfed him when he woke up, and we co-slept so we both got the maximum amount of sleep. (He also slept in his crib but it was beside my bed, with the side down so we could get to eachother quickly. All depended on the night.) Lack of sleep is just part of being a mother. Some kids don't sleep through the night until 2 or 3 or even 4 years old. But it does get better!

Chelsea - posted on 01/13/2009

Sounds perfectly normal to me!  Some babes just need to be reminded that you're there at night.  

My daughter started waking up more at night around 4 months, and would do what yours is doing if I let her.  We aren't willing to let our babes cry it out. Then she was up to every hour to nurse around 10 months.  We co-slept (same room, different bed) until this point when I said enough was enough, and dh and I moved out to another room.  This worked like a charm!  She was just ready for her own space at this point, I guess.

On the other hand, my son woke up every 3-4 hours to nurse until he was around 18 months.  At 28 months, he still wakes once or twice at night for a 30 second nip, and then goes right back to sleep.  We co-sleep (same bed), and this has worked great for us. I have not felt tired at all for lack of sleep and I attribute this to cosleeping.  Every child (& mama) is different, but I would say, don't be afraid to meet her needs.  I also would advise seeking out some help irl such as La Leche League.  Also www.askdrsears.com...great resource. Hope that helps!

Jenny - posted on 01/13/2009

My son was swaddled until 4 months and then we had major sleep issues too. Then one night, I just didn't swaddle him and he was much happier. The funny thing is...here I was being afraid to unswaddle him for fear of him not sleeping and that is exactly what he needed.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/13/2009

Just to confuse you more, I have to say, that just because a baby wakes up in the night, doesn't mean they need something. Their sleep patterns are irregular, and if something wakes them up during a "light sleep" phase, they may just have trouble falling asleep again on their own. If your baby goes back to sleep without feeding and sleeps a few more hours, then she obviously wasn't hungry. As to the whole crying thing, I don't know what to say there. My 4 month old still wakes up every 3-4 hours all night, but this has been his pattern from birth, and he nurses and goes right back to sleep. I'm not always sure he's hungry, but I'm so tired and it's by far the easiest thing to get him to sleep.

Nadaya - posted on 01/12/2009

I feel for you. I think what you're doing is great. There are so many conflicting views and the facts of infant sleep seem to get mired in the middle somewhere. I found Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth to be a very useful book in helping my daughter sleep. He has some very strong views and I don't follow all of his suggestions but he is very well researched and isn't only expressing an opinion. My daughter was a frequent night waker and I nursed her just about every time she woke up 'till she was around 9 months. I would probably do things a little different next time but you're certainly not alone.
Don't be pressured to follow any advice that doesn't jive with you just cause it works for someone else's baby and sleeping for 12 hours straight at 4 months is not the norm no matter what your friends say.

Tina - posted on 01/12/2009

Wow, this sounds like my son.  He does the exact same thing your daughter does and he is also 4 and a half months old.  Let me know if you can figure out how to change things.  I have a bed in his room just so i can get a few extra minutes of sleep, it's easier to stay in his room than to keep running back and forth.  My daughter was a dream sleeper and never presented me with the problems my son has been giving me,LOL!

Kate - posted on 01/07/2009

She's waking up and wanting to eat b/c she's hungry! It's completely normal to wake up that often until over 1 year even. I suggest contacting your local Le Leche League group to have your questions answered by a trained professional.

Katie - posted on 01/07/2009

My little guy is 4 months old, too.  He will usually wake up about every 3 hours during the night.  We had our 4 month check up yesterday and it was the partner to the doc we usually see, so I didn't know him.  He was telling me that I need to let him cry it out and put himself back to sleep when he wakes up in the night (I always nurse him and rock him back to sleep).  My baby is over 17 pounds, so he's in the 90th percentile for weight, but he is only on breast milk and I've read that a lot of times breast fed babies gain weight faster than formula fed babies.  Plus I feel strongly about feeding him whenever he's hungry.  He was 5 weeks early and only weighed a little over 5 pounds, so he's doing awesome.  I didn't really say anything to this doctor because he's not our regular guy, but it irritated me for him to say that I need to let my 4 month old baby "cry it out" as if he has any idea how to soothe himself.  UGH!  I am just not like that.  I will hold him and rock him and cuddle him until he's 20 if that's what it takes!  HA HA HA! 

I know there are a million different rules of thumb, but have you read "The Happiest Baby on the Block"?  It's been an awesome book for us. 

Oh, and last night I nursed him and rocked him to sleep and then put him in his crib and he slept for 7 hours straight!  Who knows... every little one is so different.  Good luck.

Annie - posted on 01/06/2009

It sounds like your little girl is going through a sleep regression.  It's perfectly normal around 4-5 months.  Your little person is hitting a developmental growth spurt, and that is what's disrupting her sleep. Don't let her cry it out, answer her and feed her (remember food not only grows bodies but minds as well) if she wants it.  This time will prolly only last a few weeks and she'll be back to sleeping for you.   We've all been there it does get better.

Shannon - posted on 01/06/2009

Maybe puttingher to sleep for the night at 8pm is too early for her.... it was with my two kids!!

My son who is now 19 weeks old, he will have his second nap of the day at about 4pm till around 600.. he gets up, nurses or has a bottle depending on what day of the week it is, and then has his solids at about 730pm. At around 830 to 9pm, he crashes out again till around 1030. I get him out of his cradle in our living room at that point, and nurse him,change him and then at 1130 he and I go to my room where he sleeps in a coside sleeper still. We both settle in an sleep from midnight till about 5 am, when he gets up to nurse and get changed again... then back to sleep till about 9am. My son will only sleep on his tummy now...

Just a thought.. and my own opinion.. get rid of the swaddler thing. At 4.5 months, they like to be able to move and in that thing.. well, frankly, they can't!! Either get her into those blanket sleeper things ( the Halo sacks) or use a light weight blanket... My son uses his favorite Carter's satin on one side fleece on teh other blanket at night and he pulls it up or down himself to suit him... and he is the same age as your daughter.

Good luck in whatever you choose to do, but Kristinis correct... she is waking becasue she has a need for something!.

Amber - posted on 01/06/2009

Have you started solids yet?  It could be she is wanting more food.  We just started my son on solids and since then he goes for about a 9 hour stretch at night before he wakes for the first time.  Before that he would wake about every 2-4 hours. 

You mentioned that you still swaddle her.  Maybe she needs a little more freedom.  She is getting to the age that she is probably a little more mobile, reaching for things, sitting up a little better, etc.  Try to swaddle her loosely. 

Hopefully some of this helps.  Just know that you are not alone, most of us who breastfeed have similar problems. 

Kristin - posted on 01/06/2009

I personally would not let her cry it out. And myself, I would breastfeed her anytime she doesn't calm back down/go to sleep within 10 minutes or so. Babies have so many evolutionary mechanisms built into them for survival. If she is waking, she has a need... whether it's comfort or food or a bad dream... or?

Now, there are professionals out there that say your child can and should sleep through the night - blah, blah, They tend to push independence and say you shouldn't co sleep, you shouldn't feed them over and over... blah! Myself, I personally respect Dr Sears the most - check out his site - www.askdrsears.com - he has written dozen of books, is a pediatrician, his two sons are pediatricians, and his wife is a registered nurse. They raised 8 kids and he has amazing personal and medical insight into this topic.

You have to remember that most "norms" we here about aren't breastfed babies - they're formula fed, unfortunately.

It is perfectly normal for a breastfed baby to wake for food every 2-3 hours right up to 6 months and then even every 4 hours until 12 months.

I've been lucky. My daughter woke every 2-3 hours for food until she was 3 and 1/2 months, then she started sleeping for 4 hour stretches, and now for 8-10 hour stretches - so I have to pump to not get mastitis while she is sleeping.

Your daughter may also be waking for various reasons - wet diaper, temperature change, misses you, etc. You may find that co-sleeping will keep her asleep longer.

Basically, there are dozens and dozens of reasons and needs she may have. I personally, again, agree with Dr. Sears that we are here to provide complete and unconditional love and comfort to our child... so be there for her, love her, and hopefully she will start sleeping better for you soon. But she may just be high needs, in regards to sleep, and my require regular attention.

Hope this helps....