A sad day when something so natural is shameful...

Francesca - posted on 10/01/2009 ( 109 moms have responded )

502

36

16

Over the last week I realized what our over puritan society has done to us in respect to breastfeeding. Yesterday alone I came across three situations that disturbed me.



I met a women who has a little boy who is almost two. When she was asked if she is still breastfeeding, she sheepishly replied yes, but only at night. Why is she sheepish? Why embarrassed? She is my hero! What she has done for her son is incredible and selfless!



Then I took my daughter to see my italian grandparents. And as they always ask in their broken italian/english, "she on a bottle yet?" and I make up excuses on why she is not. They have some abstract idea that because everyone in Italy breastfed and is incredibly poor, and here in Canada women bottlefeed and thus it must be superior. (I am sure it fits right into the bottle company propaganda)...



Then, I check my facebook. And a women I knew, who also breastfed all of her children for at least a few months posted that breastfeeding women should be forced to cover up. Not that I have ever been so bold as to whip out my boob in public, I don't have the balls for it, but why is something so natural so shameful?



One of her friends responded that he agreed and stated it was "a matter of class, decency and courtesty" for the people around them, What, are you going to ask to cover my face in public now? Why do we have good men and women fighting for baisc rights in Afganistan when the war should be on hideous puritan ideas that set women back a hundred years here at home!



I have seen many of men who have larger breast than I wandering around in the middle of summer with their shirts off. How is that okay?



And please, the next person that asked me if I would like to breastfeed in a bathroom, I don't shit on your kitchen table, I am not feeding my baby on your toilet. YUK! (And remember I am even covering up and people ask me...)



Why is it so wrong to breastfeed in public without a cover? Maybe if more women did, it wouldn't be seen as sexually "indecent" or without "class", rather than being used for what they were made for. We all know the health benefits to both babies and mothers, but the social barriers of our over puritan society make formula feeding convenient.



Its a sad day when we need to be embarrassed over something so natural.



I wish I could say that from now on, I will not be shamed into covering up. But we all know that I could not keep such a lofty promise. But the Quintessence Foundation has a "Global Breastfeeding Challenge" on October 3 2009. I will be there. Baring it in public to make my stance.



What are your stories? What are you doing to change the views around you?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Christa - posted on 10/06/2009

583

80

45

I have 5 children, my youngest is 18 months. All of my children were breastfed through at least 12 months of age. I was very careful with my first, when breastfeeding around others. But I my confidence in breastfeeding deveoloped and as more children came....I breastfed wherever I was....ie church, county fair, restaurant, car. For modest reasons, I always tried to NOT expose myself. Not because I was ashamed or anything....merely to avoide making those around me feel uncomfortable. As breastfeeding moms, I don't think we have a right to bare ourselves in public yet at the same time we should feel free to feed our children wherever and whenever necessary. Just as I wouldn't want my young boys to see another woman's boobs....I assume other moms do not want their children or husbands seeing mine.

Kelly - posted on 10/06/2009

139

63

15

I still breastfeed my 2 year old a few times a day, and I initially tried covering, but as he was born in the middle of summer, it was just too hot for him, he'd be sweating and would fall asleep, and I gave that up quickly... When he was exclusively breastfed, I'd feed him on demand wherever I was, in a restaurant, shopping mall, didn't matter. No one ever approached me about it...I'm not sure if anyone wanted to, but just didn't, or maybe no one really realized what I was doing, as it just looked like I was holding him. I never felt ashamed about any aspect of breastfeeding and if anyone asked if he was on a bottle or what he was eating I would answer proudly that he was breastfeeding! I plan to do the same for any other kids I have as well.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

109 Comments

View replies by

Nicole - posted on 10/29/2009

1,117

27

47

The more we breastfeeding women nurse in public, instead of hiding, the more the public opinion will change! When we hide in dressing rooms, bathrooms, cars, etc, they win!!!

Juliea - posted on 10/09/2009

11

6

0

I dare someone to challenge me when in public, but I think I put off a vibe that people can sense I'd rip them a new one. There is NOTHING shameful about breastfeeding...covered up or NOT.

April - posted on 10/09/2009

23

41

0

Thank you for posting this Francesca! I am in total agreement. Breasts are for food first, fun second. People that have a problem with a person breast-feeding their child are looking at it in a warped, perverse way, and need to take a good look at their own lives. As for the gals getting kicked out of restaurants and other public places, most states have laws that protect breast feeding mothers from this kind of abuse. It is our right to feed our children without having to be banished to a bathroom, changing room, our our car. A popular parenting magazine featured a picture of a mother and baby nursing (the nipple wasn't even shown) and some of the feedback they got was just asinine! Some women said things like the image was "pornographic" and "offensive to christian values." WTF!!!!???!!! There's something seriously wrong with people who think this.

Jessica - posted on 10/09/2009

256

7

27

Quoting Desiree:

I am all for breastfeedin, but seeing as I have two boys 4 and 6 I believe that if in a public place around other children women should cover up. My boys do not need to someones breast.



What does it matter if you have young children?  My cousins' children have seen me nurse.  My older daughter's friends have seen me nurse.  My friend's kids have seen me nurse.  They range in age from 2 to 14; boys and girls.  If you keep telling kids how "inappropriate" breastfeeding in public is, you keep up the "shame" factor that we're trying to get rid of.  Instead of being needlessly defensive (ie, "they don't need to see that"), simply A- mind your own business, or B- if your kids start staring, CORRECT THEM.  Remind them that staring is impolite and no one stares at them when they eat so they shouldn't stare at others when they are eating.  If they are curious, simply tell them that some babies are fed from bottles, and some are fed directly from their mommy.  You don't have to give them the "birds and bees" talk or anything. 



 



Who knows; maybe when your sons grow up they will support their spouse(s) or other female friends in breastfeeding with pride.



Or they could simply follow your lead and become part of the "OMG her boob is out! Hide the kids, don't let them see!" bandwagon.

Bobbi - posted on 10/08/2009

3

7

0

Amen to that!!! I am still breast feeding my son, he is almost 6 months. There were times I had to breast feed him in public. I did cover up, mainly because I'm insecure about my body lol. But I would never do it in a bathroom, that is just a germ infested place, gross!

Francesca - posted on 10/08/2009

502

36

16

Quoting Desiree:

I am all for breastfeedin, but seeing as I have two boys 4 and 6 I believe that if in a public place around other children women should cover up. My boys do not need to someones breast.



I don't mean to pick on you, but wouldnt you rather teach your boys while they are young that its completely natural and not sexual?  I agree that it is your God given right to teach what you want to your children, but they see more nudity and sexual implications on television.  I mean please, have you seen the show 'BRATS'  Wouldnt you rather teach them that its more than just sexual?



 



I understand these issues, believe me, but covering up wont change the argument.  I was breastfeeding, at the mall, completely covered.  My friend and her 4 year old daughter were with me.  She had her baby doll and was covering her up as well, and when asked she stated she was feeding her baby.  We then had to explain how I was feeding my baby.  The cover didn't stop those questions at all.

Jessica - posted on 10/08/2009

10

11

0

I agree! It's almost like being treated like a criminal. Like you are the worst person for doing the best thing for your kids!

Rebecca - posted on 10/08/2009

1

8

0

I do know what you mean, and I was like that too - then I had my son last year and I tell you what,when they're hollering with all their might, going red in the face (or blue from hyperventillating!), I found that I didn't care where I was, or who was watching - the 'sisters' came out and did their job! Then as the wee one gets older they pop of to have a chat....very very cute but a little embarrassing if you're around strangers!

Kelsey - posted on 10/08/2009

253

46

34

women have been breastfeeding since the beggining of time! I am proud to say i am not ashamed to breastfeed in public and without covering up. Anytime someone tells me to i just reply"if you dont like it dont look" i was even comfortable enough to breastfeed my baby at my school bbq...and i got to a catholic school! I used to be a really shy person but after giving birth to my daughter i wasnt anymore..i mean 4 people i didnt know just spent the last 2 hours looking at me naked! it is such a shame to see what has become of our society. Iv got family members who didnt breastfeed their children because they saw it as a form of molestation! its is not unnatural to feed your child people i wish everyone would just calm down and let us women do our thing

Renee - posted on 10/08/2009

1

21

0

I am currently pregnant with my second child. With my first Clara I never coered up. There are more than enough nursing shirts and tops that you really do not show anything. Someone had even commented to me that they could not ever tell I was feeding it just looked like I was holding my daughter close.

Breastfeeding is a natural thing. It is also one of the best things we can do for our children. With all the extra chemicals out there today why berate something that is 100% natural! Nobody thoguht it was tasteless and indecent when our grandmothers did it before formula. That is because it was natural!!!

And just to let some peolpe know. Look up your local laws because most states have laws against discrimination due to breastfeeding. Meaning if you do it in public no-one can tell you that you have to leave or take it somewhere else (liek the bathroom).

Desiree - posted on 10/08/2009

19

10

3

I am all for breastfeedin, but seeing as I have two boys 4 and 6 I believe that if in a public place around other children women should cover up. My boys do not need to someones breast.

Cindy - posted on 10/08/2009

14

25

0

I love that you are voicing your opinion!!!! I breastfed my oldest until he was 18.5 mths and stopped by peer pressure this was 4.5 years ago. I breastfed my 2nd son till he was 23.25 mths but would have gone as long as we wanted and were comfortable with had I not gotten health problems that took me away from him and also having medication in my system. I loved it and my ds who is 27 mths now still pats my breasts or cuddles up to them and sighs and waves goodbye to them when I am getting dressed. He remembers the love and comfort they and we had! It is the most natural and giving and sharing thing you can ever experience. IMO I am sad that I am not able to have anymore babies and experience this ever again!

Taliah - posted on 10/08/2009

15

6

0

That was perfectly put! I live in New York and there is a big debate about breastfeeding in public. I cover up just because I don't want perverts staring at me and my baby but I commend those who don't!! I wish someone would tell me to go to the bathroom so i could tell them where I think they should go!. But seriously I'm sorry that happened to you it must have been very uncomfortable. My support is with you and all the breastfeeding super moms out there! Let's make it the norm to breastfeed in public and make it more comfortable for all mothers. Maybe then more women would be inclined to breastfeed if there wasn't such a stigma attached to it.

Minnie - posted on 10/08/2009

7,076

9

786

Quoting Courtney:

quoting Alicia M : "it is a shame that we can wear a shirt cut down to our navel, but breastfed how dare we."

Amen to this! It is DISGUSTING that women shamelessly walk around half-naked in the first place. But when they are taking away from the actual purpose of a woman's body (nurturing your baby), that is a disgrace. Men will only accept the sexual part of the female anatomy; they feel threatened by our natural, mothering side.

This needs to change!



Yep- and that's because they can't admit that our bodies are actually more powerful than theirs.



What can they do?  Lift heavy things?  We can grow and sustain life!

Maria - posted on 10/08/2009

2

3

0

Hi, I am a mom who breastfeeds and since day one i have always tried to use a blanket... As my son got older he would always pull the blanket off... till this day he being 18mths older he still wants to be nursed at times where there is no place to nurse him. He has never taken a bottle barely takes a sippy cup and is allergic to both infant milk and whole milk. So the out come is to nurse him, but since he doesn't like to be covered up it is very hard to nurse in public but if it is really necessary I do and use my shirt to cover all bare skin as possible and that is just about as much as I can do... I am like if you dont like it "Don't watch!!!"

Jessica - posted on 10/08/2009

986

20

64

I have to agree with what everyone has said! I HATE that the culture here sees it as such taboo that you should only do it in private. Excuse me, you are feeding your child! I fail to see how that is obscene. I mean, for the most part you can't even see anything- the babys head covers it all. Now my son likes to pull off a lot and look around lol, and I'm a chicken so I've only used a nursing cover or nursed in the car when in public. I haven't gotten any bad looks or comments yet- but I'm pretty sure I will have a few things to say to the first person who does!

Courtney - posted on 10/08/2009

28

23

0

quoting Alicia M : "it is a shame that we can wear a shirt cut down to our navel, but breastfed how dare we."



Amen to this! It is DISGUSTING that women shamelessly walk around half-naked in the first place. But when they are taking away from the actual purpose of a woman's body (nurturing your baby), that is a disgrace. Men will only accept the sexual part of the female anatomy; they feel threatened by our natural, mothering side.



This needs to change!

Romy - posted on 10/08/2009

8

27

0

I have been breastfeeding my child for the past 10 months and i find nothing wrong with it. To my knowledge, the very men / women saying cover it up are the ones who never had kids or they are just simple perverts who don't realise the concept of being a woman. Your breasts become a natural food source for these kids and some men stare at them (not even fully exposed) as sexual objects. I personally don't "whip" it out in the open because society has made it taboo and the fact that i don't know what the next person might be thinking with regards to my breast.

Ashley - posted on 10/07/2009

8

12

0

I don't pop it out in public but I do at home so if ppl come over they need to be prepared or leave the room. If ppl don't want to see it don't look or set up nursing stations where moms don't have to nurse in the car. My Daughter refuses to nurse under a blanket so I am always retreating to the car or a bathroom. Give me a bench in the bathroom or my own place to feed. Thank you Science museum in OKC and Knotts Berry farm in Cali bc those are the only two places that have nursing stations that I've seen. Some places don't even have baby changing tables in the restroom.

Nicole - posted on 10/07/2009

229

18

29

I am breastfeeding my 1st! I am trying to wean...anyway thats besides the point. I have whipped out my boob in public, i do have the balls! but i am also known as a total bitch in my circle of friends. So when poeple stare or say something i give a dirty look back or flinch at them like i am going to beat the crap out of them with my baby attached to my boob. although this may sound harsh i am tired of being talked about "behind my back" while i am standing right there to hear every word! breastfeeding is AMAZING! there is nothing like looking into your babies eyes with amazing wonderment thinking about all the things to come! I love breastfeeding and would never change the decsion i made to breastfeed!!!!

Peggy - posted on 10/07/2009

17

11

0

Quoting Jennifer:

I live in Canada, and am currently bfing my 3rd child. With all 3 combined, I have breastfeed for over 36 months, and have fed my children wherever and whenever. I have never been asked to go hide in the bathroom, to cover up, or to stop. I find Canadians to be very supportive of breastfeeding in public. Most women I know, feed for about 12 months (the length of our mat leave) and so I find it is very accepted here. The most notable reaction I have had is curiousity from other kids - "where is the milk coming from?"
As for covering up, I have never covered up to breastfeed at home or in public. It is uncomfortable in hot weather and far too awkward, and I don't think people can see anything, so why bother.


WOW!! you get 12 months maternity leave?? That is so amazing. I wish it was like that here. Some people are even lucky if they get 6 weeks unpaid, although the average is between 6 weeks - 3 months. A friend of mine actually got fired for taking her maternity leave (of course they didn't say that was the reason, but it was). I think if more companies here in the US had a 12 month maternity leave we would have more women breastfeeding for longer and healthier happier kids and happier and healthier moms! For so many moms that want to nurse, going back to work is a big obstacle. Some companies do have great pumping rooms and such, but most don't and dont' really allow enough breaks for moms to pump enough for their baby. It's such a shame, and I hope things change here soon.

Jennifer - posted on 10/07/2009

150

26

11

i agree with you i have brestfed all 3 of my beautiful children and find it very rude when i am asked to cover up or go into a seperate room i am not afraid to feed my child without a cover however i do keep it discreet showing no more skin than absolutely needed most times people hardly even notice what i am doing but there are always those that do and i have taken to telling them if they have a problem with me feeding my child to go somewhere else once in a resturant some woman who had a baby she was spoon feeding asked me if i would go to the bathroom to feed my son so her children wouldn't have to see it i told her "it's the same reason you wouldn't feed your child in the bathroom and if you don't like it don't look ) i highly doubt her toddler even noticed) my first child i brestfed for 1 yr then my second lost interest at 6mos i cried when she weaned herself and my third i am proudly still brest feeding at the age of nearly 14 months and i have no intentions of stopping till he is ready

Jennifer - posted on 10/07/2009

9

19

0

I live in Canada, and am currently bfing my 3rd child. With all 3 combined, I have breastfeed for over 36 months, and have fed my children wherever and whenever. I have never been asked to go hide in the bathroom, to cover up, or to stop. I find Canadians to be very supportive of breastfeeding in public. Most women I know, feed for about 12 months (the length of our mat leave) and so I find it is very accepted here. The most notable reaction I have had is curiousity from other kids - "where is the milk coming from?"

As for covering up, I have never covered up to breastfeed at home or in public. It is uncomfortable in hot weather and far too awkward, and I don't think people can see anything, so why bother.

Stina - posted on 10/07/2009

1,055

19

108

I am blessed to be able to bring my dd to work with me. I do use a cover when I feed her out of respect to the family I work for but am finding it increasingly difficult to so this. She's nearly 6 months and simply doesn't like the cover. So more and more, even in places I used to cover up, I find myself just discreetly putting her to my breast. I find I am more comfortable doing this with her, my third baby. With my first child, I wasn't comfortable at all nursing in public. I did actually bring bottles of expressed milk along in case he got hungry. And I would even leave my husband in the store to go nurse in our car.

Now, I do nurse my dd wherever she needs. Sometimes with the cover... but more and more often, without since she doesn't like it.

Sheryl - posted on 10/07/2009

3

21

0

I totally agree with you! I wish all women would breastfeed every where they go. And why should we have to cover up.... because others are embarresed to see what we are showing? I think if more women publicly breastfeed, then it wouldn't be an issue. Thank you to all the women who are doing the best for their children!

[deleted account]

I am currently nursing twins..my third and fourth children all at the same time...If I left the room every time I had to nurse I would never be around! I was extremely shy with my first and would go to a bedroom or wherever to nurse him and it was depressing. After my second I realized the heck with it..my house is a boob out in the open zone..my own parents and my grandma just have to deal with it...however if I am in public or at the in-laws I cover up because I don't WANT to make anyone uncomfortable. But I do agree..and had never thought about it...what if we all had to wear a blanket on our head while we were out at a resteraunt eating?? Wouldn't that just be silly? Maybe it is silly to cover up while we nurse..I wish I had the balls too!

Holly - posted on 10/07/2009

1

15

0

I breastfeed in public and I minimally cover up depending on where I am. However that is only with my infant, I would not nurse my 2 year old in public as I felt embarassed because of her age and even my own older kids (14 & 16) would make fun of me. In my moms group there are plenty of moms who breastfeed but are embarassed to do it in the openness of someone else's living room...I just hope they aren't mad at me when I don't take the same approach. I can appreciate their modesty. I continue to do whatever is comfortable for me.

Amanda - posted on 10/07/2009

234

10

26

luckily I have never been told or asked to go into a bathroom to bf but I have wondered about that. There are such strict rules that buisnesses that serve food have to follow, so as to ensure that the food supply is not contaminated, [washing hands, wearing hairnets, some places require food handlers to wear gloves so as not to spread germs.] When we are bf we are esentially our babies resturaunt, it should be illegal for us to bf in in a dirty bathroom.

Misty - posted on 10/07/2009

34

30

2

I live in Oklahoma (state law says that you are allowed to breastfeed wherever you are allowed to be, no indicient exposure etc.) and right now the government is pushing breastfeeding, there are radio ads and things like that, however, the public is not breastfeeding friendly (in my opinion). I just stopped breastfeeding a month ago and most places I went if you breastfed in public you got gawked at, I was even told by some one that I shouldn't do that in public (and I was covered!). Even the state fair had no place for breastfeeding moms. It makes me angry how people look at/treat you when you tell them that you're breastfeeding.



It's the most natural/healthy thing for your baby AND you. Most of my friends had babies before I did and none of them breastfed as long as I did. When I told them what my plan for breastfeeding was they looked at me like I had all of a sudden sprouted another head. I just wish there was more education and understanding when it comes to doing what is best for the mother and her child.



If there’s a reason that you can’t/don’t want to breastfeed that’s fine. It’s your choice to breastfeed or not. Just don’t treat me like I’m strange because that’s what I chose for my child and I.

Stacy - posted on 10/07/2009

36

22

1

I hear ya! Well said....I may have to use your line about not "shitting on your kitchen table". Love it....and I did the bathroom thing at first but now I refuse! Why should I have to hide out in a dirty, smelly public restroom? It isn't fair to me or my baby. I just don't care anymore what people think. Girls can walk around with their muffin-tops hanging over their 3 sizes-too-small-jeans and their booty-shorts with their butts hanging out and lets not forget the thong-peeking-over-the-top-of-your-jeans trend. Not to mention the ones with their black bra under their 2-sizes-too-tight-white-tee-shirt! But I can't (discreetly) breastfeed mt baby?!?!

Charlotte - posted on 10/07/2009

13

15

1

Quoting Jessica:



I hiked The Fair with my oldest when she was but two weeks old, also nursed her in the Snugli.






My youngest hates being covered so when we were at the Renaissance Festival I could only drop the shirt and feed her.  I used to work there and ran into some of my old coworkers; one even sat down next to me and yelled "Piss off!!  I'm next for the drinking fountain!" when people stared.






Whoohooo Minnesota!  :)





Love it!!! haha!! I can just imagine the look of horror on the other persons face!!

Jessica - posted on 10/07/2009

256

7

27

Quoting Tina:

Minnesota Law just says that it is not indecent exposure and that employers have to make reasonable attempts to allow pumping. I walked around the statefair with my son in his snugglie and fed him. no one even noticed. I love feeding him in the snugglie.



I hiked The Fair with my oldest when she was but two weeks old, also nursed her in the Snugli.



My youngest hates being covered so when we were at the Renaissance Festival I could only drop the shirt and feed her.  I used to work there and ran into some of my old coworkers; one even sat down next to me and yelled "Piss off!!  I'm next for the drinking fountain!" when people stared.



Whoohooo Minnesota!  :)

Jessica - posted on 10/07/2009

256

7

27

I was shy about nursing my oldest, and I like to think that the nerves brought on early weaning. She was on a bottle before she was 8 months. I always kicked myself for it.



I've nursed my youngest for nearly a year now (we're days away - Oct 14!) and I plan to continue until she wants to stop. It wierded out my mom and some of my friends, but ironically my dad and his entire family are totally behind me on it. I even had a friend who actually supports me stand up for my decision in front of another friend when she dropped the "WHO endorses and encourages BFing to 24 months" bomb. That shut the nay-sayer up quick.



I missed the GBC event, but I nursed that day (obviously) so in a roundabout way it counts!



It seems that those who push for bottle feeding are usually from places (or families) where the body and its many functions are considered 'publicly inappropriate' and possibly even 'dirty' and never to be seen in any situation. Sadly, we can't change their view, we can only continue to rise above and feed our children in methods we see fit.



Besides, I figure if the child is being FED and is thriving... then the method isn't really such a big deal.



That being said..... Formula companies WISH they had food as awesome as ours!

Crissy - posted on 10/07/2009

43

8

4

i truely loved this. i cover up when im out in public and havent had any nasty comments yet from people. i actually get the occasional old lady and yes old guy who compliment me on breastfeeding my child. always nice when someone comes up and tells me im doing a great job. :] i cover up in public cuz i dont want my fat belly showing...lol even though i cover up my daughter does acrobatics and u get the occasional boob shot. my 4 yr old son is more educated about breastfeeding then most adults. he doesnt understand why i he cant see his sister while shes having her breakfast, snack, etc while outside the house. i told him that mommy covers up so weirdos dont stare at sissys food. lol he just laughs. :]

Emily - posted on 10/06/2009

57

1

4

What a great & encouraging conversation! I used to try to cover my baby up, but she won't allow it, so I just gave up & I feed her wherever I need to. My husband & I were at a rehearsal dinner about a month ago, we were sitting at a round table in a public restaurant & I didn't know anyone but the bride & groom so I was trying to be discreet at first, but my daughter was tired & cranky so she got upset, so I just looked at all of the strangers around me & said "she has to eat too". As I was feeding her a man was walking passed our table to his & stared so hard in disgust that ran right into a booth...hahaha.

Peggy - posted on 10/06/2009

17

11

0

I think it's so crazy that people are allowed to smoke in public places where it not only affects the individual smoking, but everyone else walking by! People are getting diseases and cancers from 2nd hand smoke! But God forbid a woman breastfeed her child in public. People go nuts over it. I am still nursing my 1 yo, and I am proud of it! I was nervous at first too, mostly b/c I still didn't have the hang of it and he had some trouble latching the first few weeks, but after a while i threw caution and my cover to the wind. If i do cover, it's mostly to keep him from being so distracted, but it never fails he pulls the blanket or cover down anyway. Seriously, breasts are meant to feed babies! I made a comment to my husband the other night, you never see babies in movies or on TV being breastfed...always a bottle. I'm sure that's a huge reason why people think it's barbaric or whatever other crazy notions they have. A friend of mine that lives in a more rural part of our state said that when she told her in laws that live there that she plans to nurse her 2nd child until at least 1 yo they all gasped and said "why?! that's too long!"

I am glad that here in the state of VA there is actually a law that states that women can breastfed anywhere in public. People can't throw you out or force you to go to a disgusting bathroom.

ETA: it's not like I go around flashing my goodies to people, I do try to be modest, but I don't ever feel ashamed. I hope people see me and feel encouraged to nurse their children longer and in public.

Alexandria - posted on 10/06/2009

27

13

1

i got a card from the wic lactation consultant

i am very proud to be an ebf mom my son has never had to drink from a bottle or take formula

if i do need to feed him in public i have him in my sling so it looks like im holding a sleeping baby

i am proud of all the moms who are doing the best for there babys

Karin - posted on 10/06/2009

43

33

6

Reading your posts makes me soooo glad i don't live in the US or Canada. It always strikes me as very funny that the country with the biggest porn industry also has the biggest problem with seeing boobs... Or another interesting fact is, that horror movies are not censured in the US but they are in Europe, whereas nudity is censored in the US but not in Europe...
I breastfed my son for 17months (milk stopped when I got pregnant again), I never even had to think twice about feeding him in public. I mean I wouldn't let my boobs just hang out for everyone to see, not because it could disturb them but i don't want to show off my boobs to just anyone. But it has never even occured to me that I could be offending someone with breastfeeding. I was still breastfeeding when we visited my husbands family in Michigan last year... Now I wonder how many people i have offended along the way...

Charlotte - posted on 10/06/2009

13

15

1

I live in the UK and as a first time mum i wanted to do the best for my son and breastfeed. There are groups over here where breastfeeding mums can go and get support and advice (they also welcome bottlefeeding mums). I am only 20 and am quite selfconscious so am not confident enough to b/feed in public if i am on my own. If i am with a friend i am more than willing to do so. My partner doesn't agree with me feeding in a public place if i can go to a room and feed instead. I have sat in toilets because i am worried someone will comment on me b/feeding. Luckily where i go shopping there are normally rooms with chairs to sit in to feed. I have however fed in McDonalds once and got a few funny looks but as i was with my cousin i didn't really mind as i had some support. I am more than happy to sit at home when people come round and b/f infront of them. I think that it is your body and your child and you should do what you want. You don't see people walking down the street with low tops on being told to cover up!!Why should we have to when we are feeding our children??Would they rather we let them starve?? Wouldn't that be neglecting them and be seen as cruelty by social services?? I plan to b/f my son for as long as it takes to get him on to solid food. Hopefully when i have another child i will be more confident to b/f in public and not have to worry about people telling me what i can and can't do.

BREAST IS BEST :) x

Tina - posted on 10/06/2009

20

21

0

Minnesota Law just says that it is not indecent exposure and that employers have to make reasonable attempts to allow pumping. I walked around the statefair with my son in his snugglie and fed him. no one even noticed. I love feeding him in the snugglie.

Saskia - posted on 10/06/2009

118

27

8

I don't cover up even if I tried it wouldn't work as my daughter pulls the cloth off ha ha. When I first had my son (the eldest of my two) I was quite shy would even at home go into the bedroom to nurse him but after a while I got sick off being left out all the time so I grew some balls and sat in the living room (covering when we had visitors).
With my daughter I am not allowed to be shy as she is always hungry when I'm on the bus or generally out and about (which I am constantly as my son is now 19 months and needs his fresh air). Nowadays I feed anywhere at anytime I don't care.
It's not us that should feel ashamed for feeding it's them that don't like it that should feel ashamed there is no sight more beautiful than a nursing mother!!

Ariana - posted on 10/05/2009

3

14

0

I hope you post this any where and every where you can!!! I couldnt of said it any better!

Rebecca - posted on 10/05/2009

22

36

1

One more thing about covering oneself... How many people walk around in bikinis and flip flops, showing just as much as a breast-feeding mom, and how many 12-year-old-girls wear mini skirts and almost nothing else?? Why shouldn't they cover up? That's more offensive to me. When I breas fed my first son, i was totally comfortable feeding him, at home or in public. I would cover up (mostly cause of the cold draft!) in public, but at home it didn't matter. If someone didn't like it, they knew where the door was. Even at friend's houses, most of them were moms and had breastfed, so boobs were nothing new. It is frustrating to think that nature would be wrong... Just another way the big companies are trying to control people!!

Danielle - posted on 10/05/2009

13

29

0

I agree!! After having my third son in February I talked to a lactation consultant who informed me that in my state it is law that when I return to work if my job has more than 40 employees they MUST give me a room to pump that is NOT a bathroom and must have a fridge and an outlet as well as a chair. Fortunately I do not work but 11 hours a week so I can stay home with my kids and I can breastfeed without any problems, however my job requires that I stay CPR certified so they offer classes that are 6 hours long. When I spoke with my boss about bringing my pump she almost shuddered at the thought! She said okay I guess. Really!! Okay I guess?!??!WOW! Tough world out there!

Roseanne - posted on 10/05/2009

26

15

3

When Oliver was a baby i used to breastfeed him under a poncho, as i was afraid of people commenting. I was not brave enough to even do it in front of my friends. As i grew more comfortable with my newborn and the whole breastfeeding and getting him latched on with ease (oliver had problems latching on due to being tongue tied) i'd breast feed with a wider stitched poncho as Oliver would get too hot under the other ones and i'd get snide comments said about what i was doing etc. Course i never stopped as i was determined to give Oliver the best start in life. It annoyed me when i asked in restaurants where i could feed him as they'd usually blush and say the bathroom, or say they dont have an area for that. Eventually i'd ask where the bottle fed babies was fed and could they point me to that area. Yes i received the baffled looks but at that stage ya just get past the point of caring what others think. I found that point quickly. My family including my partner and friends got on my case as i was still breastfeeding at night when Oliver was 2 years old. I stopped his night feeds when he started to only want the morning feed. He was 2 2/3 yrs old.
I'm breastfeeding Kyle who's now 14 months. Again the pressures to get him off the boob has come from some people, but they are quickly shot down in flames by me. I dont use any poncho, in fact i never unpacked them from the loft. Funny thing is, without them...no one notices your breastfeeding your child until your finished!
Thankfully you can no longer be asked/told to move when breastfeeding.

To put my point across to people to shut up about me feeding, i used to point to the half nakid women in posters advertising items and say, they are sexual...what i'm doing is natural, its why women have breasts.

I also supported my friends when they chose to breastfeed. lol i'd nudge them into not being ashamed to feed they babies wherever they was when they children was hungry.

Aniesha - posted on 10/05/2009

361

15

35

I so totally agree with you on this. It is very wrong that the real function of breasts (keeping our children alive!) is frowned upon.

I do have to admit tho that before I became a Mum, during my teens/early 20's, I thought women who just whipped it out in front of anyone had no shame whatsoever. I think it's because a lot of people don't realize the consequences of if you have to hide breastfeeding away from public view. I mean, we can't control when our baby wants a feed!!

For myself personally, I always try to be discreet about it, not so much because I care about what people think, but because, ah this is hard to explain! Like now, I have sooo much more respect for the female bosom, & so does my partner. Breasts are simply not just for sexual pleasure anymore, but rather the lifeblood for a tiny human being. How can you not respect that?? However, I am aware that there are men out there who couldn't give two stuffs about the miracle of life, & how our bodies suddenly change to accommodate our babies & the wonder that our breasts suddenly spurt milk. They still perve on breasts, filled with milk or not, although I find that rather disturbing. It is really only for that reason alone, that I cover up in public. However, with my circle of male friends, I'm not fussed, because I know that they completely respect what I'm doing, as most of them have partners/sisters etc who are doing the same thing.

As for the 'age limit' that is somehow wordlessly imposed on us breastfeeding mams, I just couldn't care less. My son is 9 months old now, & there are so many thing that I'm "supposed to be" doing, such as looking at weaning him, & moving him into his own room. I had this child because I wanted him, & therefore I'm free to raise him how I see fit, & if it makes him, me, & Daddy happy, then what's wrong with it?? I fully intend to feed him until he's at least 2 years of age, & as to when he gets his own room, well, he'll probly be begging me before I'm ready to let go!!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms