am i the only one that feels this way? (vent!)

Lyndel - posted on 04/19/2010

My kids didn't sleep thru the night by that age either. I agree. I hate when I hear people talking about adding cereal to an infant's bottle so they'll sleep longer! Cereal has no nutritional value. I'd rather just suck it up and give them a feeding. I do, however, allow them to cry it out for a few minutes after their feeding is over so they can learn to self sooth themselves back to sleep, but if they wake up hungry, I nurse them!

Becky - posted on 04/19/2010

I agree! Neither of my kids slept through the night at 4 months. My 2 year old only started sleeping through the night at 2 (although he wasn't waking to eat anymore, I think it was out of separation anxiety) and my 7 1/2 month old is still going strong with nighttime feedings. I can understand the desire for your baby to sleep through the night - multiple night wakings are exhausting for us! But, for me, as tired as I may be, it's still more important to me that my child's needs are met - whether that be for food or just for comfort - no matter what time it is. I think part of the problem is all these parenting books and doctors that tell us that once a baby reaches a certain age or weight, they should no longer need to eat in the night. They neglect to mention that every baby is different and that this is not true for every baby! I think they also don't take into consideration that breastfeeding is as much about comfort as it is about nutrition and some babies really need that during the night.

It bugs me too when moms say they are going to start their 2 or 3 month old on cereal because he doesn't sleep through the night yet and they want him to. Really? Is your sleep really more important than the fact that you are risking allergies and digestive problems for your child? Not to mention that that is a myth anyways that it helps them sleep better!

Katie - posted on 04/19/2010

My first daughter got up every night till she was nearly one and a half, she was so tiny and every one thought I didn't feed her. I was up every night and it was okay, she doubled her birth weight at age 1. She was a bf till 2 1/2 months, then formula. My second at I co slept so we nursed often and all the time I loved every minute of it and it didn't matter how much she got up. I am proud of the each of my girls and wouldn't trade our many night time parenting hours for any thing.

Blessing - posted on 04/19/2010

WHAO.......eight babies..how do u cope...its not easy to cater for one ,not to talk of eight...you re a great mom.....more grease to your elbow.I have so much to learn as a new mom

Kayla - posted on 04/18/2010

I actually read that post and was a little confused, she said her baby went to be around 8 or 9 and woke up at 4 or something like that, and in my mind that is sleeping through the night. But also I was told to never give cereal through a bottle cuz it promotes obesity so it was a little beyond me that anyone would suggest that!! Personally I feel like when my baby is ready to sleep through the night, he will. I feel like some moms are just being lazy!!

Jessica - posted on 04/18/2010

no i agree. my baby boy still doesnt sleep through the night and he is 5 months old. he gets up becuase he is hungry and then he falls back asleep again. i am not gonna make his formula thicker or put cereal in his bottle or anything to make him sleep through the night i think its wrong. i dont stuff myself before bed to sleep at night why would i do that to my baby boy?

Mhairi - posted on 04/18/2010

I have a three year old that doesn't sleep through the night, hahahaha!! I heard also that you shouldn't feed your child to fall asleep, that makes the whole feeding issue more complicated, because then they become accustomed to falling asleep with full tummies. Instead you should keep them awake for a little while and then allow them to fall asleep themselves. I read this and it seemed like a good idea, but it depends on the child I think and mums need to listen to their guts not OTHER people. I mean I had my mother in law give me interesting advise, my mum, and grans, adn the random old ladies.... just the other week, I had an old lady tell me that I needed the super nanny, hahahahahaha!!! what a quack!! but anyways, nobody knows your child like you!! SO mums should not doubt their abilities like we are meant to feel by the bigger picture!!! When I hear stories about mums and how they are made to look evil or dumb, really I think well, that mum knows her child/ren (although there are always exceptions for sure). We should always tell ourselves: I am doing the best I can with what I have.

Becca - posted on 04/18/2010

I agree, to me it seems wrong! My daughter still is up up to 4 times a night and she is 19 months. I still really treasure the quiet times we get to spend together cuddling. If she wants to breastfeed then she is aloud, if she is hungry i go get her a snack.

Liezl - posted on 04/18/2010

I fully agree!! I think it is selfish to give your baby solids, just so thatyou don't have to get up to give him/her a feed at night. If they wake up to eat, it is because they have to.

Rachel - posted on 04/18/2010

Meaghan-You aren't alone! My kids, along with most of the kids in our mom's group, didn't start sleeping through the night until 2-2.5 yrs. Obviously, (to most of us), falling asleep is not a "learned skill". How absurd! People fall asleep when they need to! And yes, starving your child and allowing them to cry is abuse! Breastmilk is easily digested in a tiny tummy, therefore the babe needs to eat. I know you know this, but some people clearly do not. It is unfortunate for the babies at their mercy.

Lisa - posted on 04/18/2010

I totally agree with you Meaghan. My son is 15months he still wakes during the ngiht and I still feed him during the night. People just expect babies to sleep through when a small percentage do from a young age. And I totally agree if they want to feed then feed them!! If they wake they attend to them, dont amke them cry it out so you have this baby that sleeps through from newborn. And I read someone below wrote some thing about scheduling. Well I disagree as my son is on the same shedual everyday, we have a great routine, he doesnt sleep through the night coz he doesnt. Not coz my shedual isnt right.

Tori - posted on 04/18/2010

I understand what you are saying that babies are babies and that they are not little mini adults. If they are hungry then we need to feed them. I breast fed my daughter up till 6 months when my milk dried up and I did jsut that. However at 7 weeks she started sleeping during the night. If I woke her up to try and feed her since thats the schedule we were on she would turn it away and wake me up when she was ready. I feel that if a baby is hungry parents should feed them not be worried on how to get them through the night if the baby isn't ready for it yet. Yes being up every 4 hours is tiring but its part of having a baby. Mine now goes to bed at 930 and sleeps till 830 and we couldn't wake her if we tried shes such a heavy sleeper snores and all.

Julie - posted on 04/18/2010

I definitely agree!!!! So what if they don't sleep through the night anyway, in a few years they will be teenagers and then they won't want to wake up at all!!! We moms have lost sight of what bringing up kids is all about as we are bombarded by books written by the so-called experts who think their way is the right way. Each child is an individual and I think its about time we start trusting our instincts again and parenting our children in our own way and not force them to conform to the "norm" of sleeping in their own bed in their own room right through the night from birth!!

Fern - posted on 04/18/2010

every baby is different, they have different sleep patterns and feeding times. I agree with you 100 %, its not healthy to stuff them like that, also feeding food too early or putting cereal in bottles has been linked to obesity. I totally believe the first year it is not a big deal if baby slept thru the night, it comes with time. yeah sleep is nice but its all about our childs needs, not our own.

Meaghan - posted on 04/17/2010

tarina~ also this conversation was not about the fact of people introducing cereal or introducing to early or introducing it at all. who the hell cares when people introduce cereal to their kids like you said its your parenting style.

Christa - posted on 04/17/2010

Meaghan I already apologized for my tangent. Someone mentioned schedules and that's how I got started.



To those who think I'm a terrible parent. I have a perfect 2 year old and an 8 wk old that has STTN (8 hrs) the last three nights and we just had her 2 month check up and she is in the 97% and growing perfectly. So I am confident that my way of parenting is working for my children. I don't need your approval.

Meaghan - posted on 04/17/2010

you know you guys have some awesome posts!
christa~ this post was NOT about crying it out this was about moms trying to overfeed there babies to keep them down longer at night which is WRONG
i actually heard from a friend yesterday that her sister made her formula so thick with cereal that it was the consistency of oatmeal just so she could get the baby to sleep through the night!!! what????
i will feed my son ANYTIME time of the night and i KNOW for a fact that it is not out of habit for anybody who says there 4,5,6 month is trying to 'manipulate' them in the night just to get attention.
and how BOLD of woman to think a baby can't learn a wonderful sleeping pattern with love and encouragement like ANYTHING else it takes time and consistency.

"The child is scolded for reaching out to his parent during a time of need. He is to be told "lovingly" but firmly that nighttime is not a time for his parents' love and attention."

Stephanie - posted on 04/17/2010

my daughter is one and she still wakes up for a feed, i think she slept thru the night for a month and that was bout it...i tried all sorts of sormulas and things but that was because it turned out she was lactose intolerant....but i dont care if i dont get up my h2b will get up and get her a bottle, if she has a bad night we take it in turns, its part of life when u have children to have broken sleep...plain and simple

Alexi - posted on 04/17/2010

I just had to have my say really.
I have 4 children. The 3 boys aged 13, 4 and 5 did not start sleeping throug the night untill 2 or nearly 2 and all co slept. And i do not expect anything less with my daughter. She is just over 1 and sleep swith me, still breastfeeds and wakes when she wants a feed!!!! And i will contin ue doing it until she is ready to sleep through in her own time. YOU BET I AM TIRED!!! But they are so worth it. xxxxxx

Ashley - posted on 04/17/2010

I think Beth Laf is totally spot on

Ashley - posted on 04/17/2010

I am totally on board with monika & tara & shanika. I do not agree with "cry it out" at any length. It breaks my heart and I can not do it. My baby has night terrors and I know how it feels to call for your parent and them not come. Yea she may not "remember" it but I WILL. Also if she wants her momma and or her milk by God she will get it. As long as i can help it there is no person on this earth is gonna keep me from giving her what she needs when she needs it. Oh and by the way....my doc says our baby is in the 90th percentile. Even if you are able sit there and hear your child cry for you at night it doesn't mean they don't need you. It could be a situation like Kristina, how do you know they are getting what they need and not what you need? The only way would be a trained therapist reviewing the situation. Beyond that I say if you the mother that can not sit there and listen to your child cry, DONT, DO NOT let those that can get to you and change your mind, you may regret it later. Whether it be finding out they werent getting enough or finding out later with other issues. There are studies out there, read them and see how you feel. I totally agree with them but I have lived it

Ashley - posted on 04/17/2010

that is dangerous to do too, they can choke. also our doc said as long as they dont wake up for more than 15 mins or after they finish eating and they right back to sleep they still consider it sleeping through the night. babies have to eat more often than we do so ofcourse they are gonna wake up. they dont sleep through the night like a grown person but like a baby person

Jolene - posted on 04/17/2010

I recently heard a pediatrician say you could "sleep train" at 4 months old. Why would I want to do that? Yes, I'd love a night of unbroken sleep, but I don't deny my other children meals. Why would I deny my baby food? My baby is 4 months old and it is my job to feed her once or twice during the night!

Meri - posted on 04/17/2010

I agree that it is not healthy to give them a thicker formula or extra cereal at 4 months. I wish they wouldn't give them formula at all, but oh well. But my son is 7 months old and if i give him a serving of rice cereal after he gets a full "mommy" feeding right before bed he will sleep through the night and will not otherwise. He slept through the night for the first 4 months of his life but quit after he got a cold in january and i think that helping him to get that needed rest of sleeping through the night is not a bad thing. He's SO much happier and takes better naps during the day when he gets a full nights sleep, and i'm not going to complain about it either. So 4 months is a little young, but when they get older it can be beneficial.

Holly - posted on 04/17/2010

Well Jennifer it makes sense. You try going to sleep on a empty tummy as see how long you sleep before it wakes you. Then try going to sleep on a full tummy. And keep in mind when we eat we can go 5 hours and still be full. But most babies can only go 2-3 hours filling full. And my baby is fed breast milk. Just because I give her a bottle dose not mean its formula. She dose get some formula during the day but I still nurse her at night. And almost any dr or baby article you read that is on of the tips to help your baby sleep through the night is to make sure the go to sleep on a full tummy.

Kristie - posted on 04/17/2010

100% completely agree.

And then you get criticised because your breastfed baby isn't sleeping and everyone tries telling you to put them on formula.

I made the mistake of listening to people with my first son and it made no difference whatsoever, he screamed and never slept more than 1 1/2 hour periods through the night.
My daughter happily slept through the night from 6 weeks and my 3rd child has only just started sleeping through the night at 16 months.

Kimrose - posted on 04/16/2010

Wow - I can see this has gotten lots of responses, but what the heck/will add mine :} COULDN'T AGREE MORE! My son was only breastfed and never took a bottle - I had chosen to do everything "on demand" as that was what my gut told me was right for me and I was able - sure it was a sacrifice at times - of sleep, of a shower - whatever - but I can always feel good about doing what I really thought was "best." Our son slept with us and night nursed frequently - but I was able to almost sleep through once it was familiar - the co-sleeping made it WAY easier in my opinion!

Jennifer - posted on 04/16/2010

Holly, it is not proven that feeding solids will help a baby sleep through the night. My baby sleeps from around 11 until 6 or 7 without waking most nights and she hasn't had a bit of solid food and is exclusively breast fed. She's done that from very early on, and in fact I worried when she was a newborn that she was sleeping too much at night!

Beth - posted on 04/16/2010

mom of 6 kids , i never have considered sttn a big bnchmark for anything other than ok , cool, nowi can sleep more and move them to the co sleeper bed
and too true i hate the camo that says a bottle and rice cereal and etc is what you must give baby to STTN , my answer for lack of a better term is WT# why is this such a big deal???
i nursed all my babies and co slept , yes EVEN the twins now!! so the STTN not a big deal to me , am i tired heck yeah is it gonna last forever, heck no... deal with it its part of the whole mommy regime.... best workout in the world!!!

Krysta - posted on 04/16/2010

Vent away. I breastfeed and my little one is almost a year old and she wakes up frequently to feed at night. It is more out of habbit now then hunger. I've read in an article about babies sleeping habbits and it said their is nothing wrong with a frequent feeding baby...Not all babies will sleep all through out the night. Their all different. If you don't have a problem with it then tell them to F-off...hahaha. Or give them some hard evidence so them they will agree with you. But yes I've heard that too feeding them cereal before bedtime will help them sleep longer but sometimes your baby isn't ready for solids yet even after 4 months.

Holly - posted on 04/16/2010

My daughter is 5 months old and I found that if I feed her a bottle right before bed she will sleep from 7-5 and then wake up for another bottle then sleep till 7 and want her oatmeal. I just figured out what time was best to lay her down for the night and adjusted her bottle feedings to it. So that shes not getting extra food persay but is still given it right before bed. 4 months is when they are starting solid foods and it is proven that if you put them down on a full tummy they will sleep longer.

Claudia - posted on 04/16/2010

i think its made up by formula industrie, and NO just because they have a full belly doenst mean they wont need reassurance at night to know that mommy and daddy are still there. My 19 months old still wakes up every once in while,not more than once ussually, but he still does, and i doubt its because he is hungry.

Meagan - posted on 04/16/2010

So Bethany A. tell me how did you get your daughters to sleep thru the night at 7 weeks as ebf?

Meagan - posted on 04/16/2010

My son is 10 months old and goes to bed every night before 8. He will make to eat at 12, 4 and then is up by 8 when he eats again. Yes it would be nice to sleep 8 hours straight, but right now this is what makes him happy.

Sarah - posted on 04/16/2010

I agree with let babies be babies. Mine is almost 9 months old and she still doesn't sleep through the night. Whenever she wakes I give her a quick pull off the boob and she snuggles back in to sleep. She has never have formula and I don't think that filling her little belly right before she sleeps is a good idea. I know I don't like to go straight to bed after I eat.

Elysia - posted on 04/16/2010

i can really see your point, i always let my son set the schedule. He had a couple of months where he slept through but he is now 13 months old and ever since he started teething i could count on 1 hand the amount of full nites sleep i have had. and number 2 is only 12 weeks away. lol so i dont expect to get a full nites sleep for maybe another 2yrs. alot of babies require a nite feed as their last feed often isnt enough to last them to morning.

Jennifer - posted on 04/15/2010

I think people are tired and grasping for answers. Cosleeping is one answer but not for all. But I agree that overfeeding solids or pushing formula is not a healthy alternative.

Amy - posted on 04/15/2010

I think the bottom line no matter if breast or formula feed if the baby wakes up feed them if not let them sleep. have you ever heard of a baby dying of startvation over night? No! My baby slept through the night 8 hour stretches at 10 weeks old at just 2 weeks she was starting to sleep 4-6 hour stretches. She was exclusively breastfeed until 5mnths then we started to supplement with Similac Early SHield. Did I see a difference in her sleeping habits. No, each baby is different. Still to this dat at 17mnths she is a great sleeper.

Brigitte - posted on 04/15/2010

My son didn't start sleeping through the night until now, and he's 2 years 4 months. I only weaned him from breastmilk last week. I never introduced solids until he was 6 months, and never did the whole feeding him solids at night. I just did what came naturally, breastmilk and meals like breakfast, lunch and dinner when he was old enough for it. My son didn't even start swallowing solids until he was 9 months. Unless you have a milk supply issue, I really can't see that a child under 6 months needs more than just milk......

Renee - posted on 04/15/2010

I agree!! I strictly breastfed and had a rather large lil boy so up till his first birthday he was still waking at least once in the night, I also did the co-sleeping with him as well which prolonged the 10 minute snack in the middle of the night. He on his own has chose to stop nursing and now has learned ways to occupy himself in his bed should he wake, and how to put himself back to sleep. I didn't rush anything despite the struggles and all the "advice" people threw at me. Do what is right for you and your baby, the two of you are the only ones who know what is truely right and have that bond to send those messages to eachother. And the cereal in the bottle, such a bad thing, especially if they start to get teeth. It creates poor eating habits, getting the child used to solids in the middle of the night rather than making the transition from milk/formula to water when they are older. Vent, please vent. Thats what this site is here for and what were all members for!! Best of luck standing your ground and doing what is right for the two of you!

Sutten - posted on 04/15/2010

Im with you. My son was breatfed and he did not sleep through the night until 18 mos. I did sometimes give him formula. Well my husband gave him formula. if i got up I would nurse. i wish we could track if these kids are stuggling with weight later in life. And if The are not willing to let a baby be a baby and feed them every 2-4 hours what is going to happen later.

Birgit - posted on 04/15/2010

My son did not sleep through the night until he was over a year old. Some of it had to do with him breastfeeding. He fed like clockwork every three hours the entire time he breastfed. When he was about 7 months, we could get him to sleep from 7pm until about 4 am without a feeding, but he was fed right before bedtime. I stopped nursing him to sleep because I didn't want him to associate sleeping with eating. My pediatrician told me that however he was put to bed at night would set the pace for the entire night. So if he went to bed nursing or with a bottle, and woke up in the night, he would look for the same stimulus that got him to sleep the first time. So if he was breastfed, me, if a bottle, he would look for that. She said it was about teaching him to soothe himself back to sleep. Even as adults, we wake up in the night but we soothe ourselves back to sleep and we don't even notice it anymore. He had to learn that. So we were patient. My son was born a month early so he needed his regular feedings when he was really little. When he was about 6 months, not so much. He was just waking and looking for the same comfort that he had fallen to sleep with, whether it was me or a bottle. I heard all the advice about cereal in the milk, give him a bottle, you name it we heard it. The bottom line for us is that initially, we just wanted to make sure his nutritional needs were met without pushing him to be beyond where he needed to be. Breastfed babies need to be fed more often because breastmilk is easier digested than formula. In addition, we learned in our breastfeeding class that a baby's stomach is only the size of it's fist. So not a lot of food can go in. That's why they have to keep eating so often. And everything I read about putting cereal in their bottles siad not to do it and that it would not make any difference. In desperation I tried one time and no change. When you think about it a young baby sleeps about as much during the day as they do at night so thier nutritional needs for both night and day are similar unlike adults who sleep through the night and keep active during the day. That's whey we don't eat three meals during our nights. For them it doesn't make any difference. So we kept to his schedule because his body goes on instinct. If his tummy growls, its because he needed food, not because he was bored. As he got older, we wanted to set a schedule for him. He had a set bedtime, a routine. Then once he got that down, we started letting him soothe himself back to sleep at night. (It was rough!) Now he goes to sleep on his own and sleeps through the night as long as his teeth don't bother him. Teething will disrupt your child's schedule all over again. You have to do what is right for you and your child's development will have a lot to say about what you do.

Tara - posted on 04/15/2010

LOL agreed!! i said the same thing to a friend, if they really wanted to sleep, than kids are not for them :)
i love this group lol

Andrea - posted on 04/15/2010

good for you for saying this! i agree! i get so mad that people do things just to satisfy themselves and not their babies. there are recommendations for a reason! if you weren't ready to be sleep deprived then you shouldn't have had a baby!!!!!!

Christa - posted on 04/15/2010

Oh LOL!! I left that group a long time ago. :-P I now see why this was started, sorry to have taken it on a tangent.



Did the original poster not realize her kid was sleeping 8hrs, that's through the night in my book. If she put him to bed at 10 he'd sleep to 6. I totally agree with all of you about that thread and now see why all the frustration. :-)

Tara - posted on 04/15/2010

oh my, that thread is just about formula anyway..

Tara - posted on 04/15/2010

I dont think this post was meant for advice lol just a vent. and not all doctors know what they are talking about. my kids doc is well known and popular but he has given me some awful advice about breastfeeding and whatnot..go figure. i dont mind waking up to feed my son, hes hungry, hes restless, he needs comfort. if he doesnt eat after a while, his blood sugar gets low. he was very preemie so i trust my instinct with him :)

Candice - posted on 04/15/2010

I don't understand this "through the night" bs at. Babes NEED to be fed through the nighr. duh nuff said. :) Not a dang thing wrong with boobie in the middle of the night,even for older babies.

Sarah - posted on 04/15/2010

Christa.

This thread was started in response to this one: http://www.circleofmoms.com/young-moms-a... in which a mommy was asking how to get her 4 month old to skip all his nightly feedings.

Sorry for the confusion!

Jessie - posted on 04/15/2010

I'm sorry I meant without supplementing, no with around 2 1/2 months.