am i the only one that feels this way? (vent!)

Jessie - posted on 04/15/2010

Well everyone can do what they want. I personally waited until my pediatrician told me it was ok to put my baby on cereal but she was 4 months, actually more around 4 1/2. It's not a lot like you would feed a bigger baby, but she gets some. She has slept at night since 2 1/2 with supplementing until a bit before she was allowed some solids. If my pediatrician who says that it is ok to give some solids then why would I not give them to her. She has been fine and is happy as well. He is a great pediatrician around here and is well known and most other pediatricians agree with him, and only ones that don't say it's just not necessary not that it will harm them. So what is the problem then around 4 months? Or if your pediatrician says it's ok in certain circumstances. Honestly I think we all get ourselves worked up over the littlest things. If you don't want to do it then don't. Just don't expect everyone to have the same opinion.

Christa - posted on 04/15/2010

Sarah, I think I missed something, what is "that post"? Are you talking about this one or was there another post that started all this??

Tara - posted on 04/15/2010

This post totally got a little off topic lol. I am a member of numerous groups on parenting and attachment parenting and what not and they all condemn the Babywise book as well.
I have been told to give my 7 year old son cereal as well when he was about 2 weeks old from the doc! he told me it would help with his reflux, i tried this once and it did nothing so i changed docs..heard too many people tell me to do this

Minnie - posted on 04/15/2010

I feel that a couple of things need to be made aware to everyone reading this.



The cry-it-out method increases the risk of SIDS in young infants. This is a very dangerous thing to be using on a near-newborn.



The book Babywise has been mentioned in this thread- this book has been condemned by the American Academy of Pediatrics.



There is no research provided by the author of this book to back up his claims, no citations, and it has not been peer-reviewed.

Sarah - posted on 04/15/2010

I have to vent right along with you by saying I think some people are putting THEIR needs wayyy ahead of their baby's. That was a horrible post and most of the answers basically confirmed my complete lack of faith in humanity and is documented proof that most people are idiots (no offense if any of those people are reading, it is just the way that thread makes me feel)

I was told and have read in several baby books, if your baby is sleeping several hours through the night (or day) drastically early you are suppose to WAKE THEM UP and feed them to make sure they are getting the nourishment they need. Not try and make your 4 month old sleep 12 HOURS STRAIGHT so you don't have to be bothered when it is not convenient for you. And, do they ever think even if, hypothetically, their baby might not be hungry that it might want a DIAPER CHANGE in all those hours.

People astonish me with their laziness and apathy that they cannot get up and feed their hungry baby in the middle of the night and would rather have some 'fix' to get him or her to sleep through the night, even if they know this is unhealthy. I am honestly surprised no one recommended smashing up a sleeping pill and mixing it in with the formula as a surefire way to get their baby a perfect night's sleep.

I could go on and on, but thinking about it just further pisses me off so I will just end by saying I am glad there are some people out there who are equally appalled.

Stephanie - posted on 04/15/2010

My son slept all night early. when he was 3 maybe four months he started getting up once durning the night. I work nights so when I was at work he would sleep all night for my hubbie, but not for me. I take it as he wants to be close to me , not that my hubbie doesn't do a good job he does. I guess I'm saying I enjoy it.

Tarina - posted on 04/15/2010

its amazing how many emotions surround this issue. Personally, I have been very lucky. Both of my boys (one is almost 9, one is 15 months) slept "through the night" very early. My oldest actually starting about 1 week, slept for 6 hours straight, and continued to do so each night. He got himself into a routine so he could get the rest his body needed. We didnt need to train him, and we were by no means neglecting him by letting him get this restful period. My youngest took a few months to get to the point where he wanted those longer periods of time, again we let HIM decide when he was ready for night long sleep (and to clarify since the term means different to so many people, 6 hours of sleep in non-daylight hours). As far as crying it out, sometimes your baby really is so tired that he or even you are simply keeping him awake. No amount of holding, singing, comforting will help he is just so exhausted but fighting his body's urge to fall asleep cuz he doesnt want to miss anything. You dont do you or your baby any favors by letting him fuss in your arms for 2 or 3 hours, when simply laying him down in a comfortable place and walking away for 10 minutes is enough to remove all those distractions he doesnt want to miss, and get the sleep he so desperately needs. Calling it an "abandonment method" is silly. Its not like you ran off to the store, or put on headphones. You are still there, and you can still care for him if needed. thats why we all have baby monitors. It may be heart wrenching to hear, but it honestly can be just what your baby needs. 10 minutes of isolation from too much stimulation that is keeping his mind awake when his body is ready to rest. We dont call mothers who rock their children for 6 hours "smotherers"... so show the same respect to those who chose a different path than you do/did. This whole conversation started about cereal in bottles to thicken it up and help baby sleep longer -- i think you either put it in all of them, as extra nutrition, or you dont. Its a personal choice - your baby wont suffer from it wether he has it or not. Most pediatricians recommend trying to begin cereal feedings around 4-5 months, when baby can sit in a highchair without teetering over too often. They also say if your baby doesnt take to it, just keep trying once a day and eventually, like with regular baby food, or solids... they will get there. If you are lucky and your baby wants it right away, then your baby is ready for it. If your baby puts off cereal until 8 months, you are just as lucky, and your baby is ready for it. Each baby does each thing in his own time, you are just along for the ride. Putting it in a bottle is no better or worse for your baby as long as the right amount of formula/water is in the bottle and if your baby eats it. Just be sure you use the right size nipple to let the slightly thicker milk come through. As far as babies dying from having cereal thickened milk... babies (god forbid) can have tragedy strike from alot of things. that is why we as parents are so diligent to be sure to protect them. a baby wont eat itself to death on its own. it turns its head away, it pushes the bottle, it vomits up extra. we all have the stained onesies and rags to prove it. something else was going on there. to denounce a particular style of feeding and crucify mothers and fathers who use it is again, silly. No parenting method works for every child, if it did, we would be clones and wouldnt need things like Circle of Moms to have these discussions ♥ We learn, we adapt, we try, we fail, we succeed. Its the way it works. Find people who support you and you will go far, but dont let the nay sayers rule your child rearing. Our kids all turn out fine in the end, and if they dont its certainly not because there was cereal in the bottle or they slept too long at night :)

Jeannette - posted on 04/15/2010

I agree with you, Meaghan. When my son was only one week old, my husband told me that his boss said to put cereal in his bottle at night, so he sleeps... I was like, WTF??? I am breastfeeding, so he wasn't even on a bottle, and cereal to a 1 week old??? But once we got a routing down, at about a month old, he started sleeping 8 hours. He gained weight really fast for a breastfed baby. About 1.5 to 2 ounces a day. I have read that babies "should" be sleeping through the night at around 4 months, but it differs depending on the baby. Unfortunately my son got sick about 2 weeks before his 4 month check-up, and ever since then (he's just about 5 months) he has been getting up at least 1 to 2 times a night, again. :( But he is also getting 2 teeth in, so that may be why. I am desperate for my sleep back, LOL, but if he is hungry, he's hungry.

Sandy - posted on 04/15/2010

I have had sleep issues with my 8 month old since day one. She doesn't nap, and until almost 7 months old...she didn't sleep more than 4 hours at a time (except RARE occasion). I have been EBFeeding her since birth and got so tired of hearing all the moms who "supplement" or strictly formula feed their children brag about how well their kids slept through the night. We allowed our baby to eat on demand until she was about 6 months old. At 6 months, I breastfed her once through the night and then at 7 months we stopped the night time feedings. At first it was hard, listening to her cry but she needed it. She doesn't nap at all during the day so it is even more imperative that she gets sleep at night. At first, we would let her cry for 10 minutes then my husband would go in to soothe her back to sleep...that didn't take long once she realized that "food" came in the morning.
She still has the occasional waking cry in the middle of the night but we have gotten really good at understanding which cries are "hurt/scared/etc." and which are "I'm going right back out on my own" cries and handle them in that way.

Now...if we could just get her to nap more than a total of 1 hour during the day!!! LOL

Terri - posted on 04/15/2010

Babies are all different when it comes to sleeping through the night. I have 4 kids and they all slept through at different ages, 9 weeks, 7 and a half weeks, 3 weeks and 6 days and the last one at 7 weeks and 3 days. My definition of STTN was putting them down at about 11 or 12ish and them waking about 7ish. They were/are all breastfed and at that age I never used control crying with them.

But I did train my babies at a young age the difference between awake time and sleep time so that their bodies would know when to have the longer sleeps. This included making sure they didnt have really long naps (no more than 2 or 3 hours) during the day, lots of playtime and awake time.

Then with bedtime making it as boring as possible, BF then into bed, all the time as quiet as possible. This worked for all my children.

I also dislike it when people talk about using formula or early introduction of solids to get their children to sleep through the night. Babies will let you know when they are ready by doing it!

I do believe in some form of controlled crying (but not at the young ages we are talking about) but that is a different topic to what is being posted here.

Johnny - posted on 04/15/2010

I tend to think that babies will sleep through when "the stars align", lol. My daughter slept through the night from the beginning, but I had to wake her for feeds a couple times a night because she was not gaining enough weight. When she was under 12 weeks, she'd barely rouse for her night feedings and then go straight back to sleep. She slept through the night, consistently 8 -10 hours until she was around 6 months. When she began cutting teeth, she began waking at night and I certainly would not have considered leaving her without my comforting and companionship when she was in pain and discomfort. Even if she was fed, dry, and warm, she still needed my reassurance to deal with her problems. In my view, she is a baby, and not yet equipped to learn to "self-comfort" in the same way that adults do. I believe that is a coping skill that is built as we grow up, not something that comes from being left to cry in infanthood. After the first episode of teething, she got into a pattern of night waking that lasted until around 15 months. She is now 20 months, she sleeps through unless she is sick or teething. I am still up to look after her needs. I believe that having a responsive parent helps children to develop strong emotional bonds, trust, and learn the skills to help themselves. Now, when my daughter wakes, she just needs a quick hug from mom or dad and rolls back over on her own to go back to sleep. I believe that she is comforted by knowing that we are there for her, but she is able to get back to sleep on her own now. When we have another child, I plan to do things in a similar way, but the details will depend on the temperament of that baby. As previous posters have said, each child is different.

One thing that has always concerned me about the practice of controlled crying is the increasing body of scientific evidence that it may be harmful to the healthy neurological development of the infant. That is a risk I am not comfortable taking.

Trina - posted on 04/14/2010

I don't like Gary Ezzo. You know the best place for Babywise is in the fire...it makes good kindling. He tells you not to trust your instincts. He tells you all kinds of junk. We'll he is a HE and he has no training in infant development. www.ezzo.info. Yes, I have read the book, yes, I have burned the book. Which of course all of my anger here is directed at Gary Ezzo, not at anyone here. He undermines mothering. You don't need Ezzo's method to make a happy child. He is not going to solve every problem you will ever have, and no your baby is not going to be spoiled or any of the other garbage ezzo likes to tell new moms.

Now, since that vent is over, babies need to be fed at night. I don't want to bash anyone just for not knowing that or that it is ok to delay solids. Sometimes you just don't know, but I cannot with hold information from anyone out of the fear that they made feel offended because they do not agree.

Skye - posted on 04/14/2010

We'll my baby boy is 19 months old, he's not a very big eater, still being breastfed and pretty much everynight around (or before) midnight he wakes up for a feed, then falls straight back to sleep!! its his midnight snack!!! i don't have a problem with it, i just expect it to happen and if it doesn't then thats a bonus!!! :-)

Christa - posted on 04/14/2010

Celeste, I was talking about those who have said that crying is bad for babies and causes brain damage etc. My point was babies cry and as their mother I am able to tell the difference between cries. This is why I can let them cry to sleep and with confidence know that I'm not neglecting them. I agree it's their only way of communicating, but it's also one of their only ways to burn energy. Letting a baby cry in a controled manner is not neglect. When I let my babies cry I am listening to every wail to make sure I don't need to go in there, sometimes I do. I don't EVER let her cry and go to sleep, I can't sleep until I know she is.

I'm just trying to educate people that you can let your baby cry it out responsibly, it's not cruel or neglectful. I know it's not for everyone and that's fine, I'm just sick of hearing people refer to mothers that practice this method in such a negative way.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/14/2010

i feel like this no matter how much milk we feed them no matter if it's a bottle or breast. If you over feed them before they go to sleep they will throw it all up and then will be hungry then and later at night. i know when my baby cousin was four he was always hungry but that was just the type of baby he was and still is. i don't think forcing milk down a child's throat will help them sleep because the mom wants to sleep. i know when my niece and nephew was that age they slept most of the night but did wake up to get something to eat or want a diaper change.

in part it's has to be a maturity level with being a parent that we as parents have to learn before during and after a child is born for us to know what we have to do.

Celeste - posted on 04/14/2010

Christa, I have three kids-7 year old daughter and 3 year old twins. I don't think anyone's talking about babies never crying. My babies cried A LOT; they're babies. It's not about the world revolving around them, it's tending to their needs. Their only way of communicating is to cry.

Christine - posted on 04/14/2010

Great response!

Christa - posted on 04/14/2010

Laura I appreciate the respect in your comments. I’m sure there are parents out there who use the cry it out method to neglect their children, but I’d think most do it responsibly.

Babies cry, at least mine do. Sometimes nothing makes them happy. I do not believe crying is emotionally scarring to babies. I'm also wondering what a mother does who won't ever let her child cry when she has more then one kid. If the world revolves around your baby what happens when there is 2+ kids? It can't possibly revolve around them all at the same time. I believe in a family centered parenting style, not a child centered style. How neglected must your last baby feel when the new baby comes along and the world no longer revolves around them. I teach my babies from the get go that the world does not revolve around them, we must work together as a family. I can not parent properly if I don't take care of myself as well. I hear many of you say that its ok for you to be sleep deprived for a year+ if that's what the baby needs. I don't know how good of a parent you can be on no more then a few hours of sleep a night. I know I don't function very well, I'm impatient, short tempered, grumpy etc. That's not the kind of mother I want to be.

Anyway I don't judge another’s parenting style as different things work for different families, I just wish the same courtesy was given to those that don't share your views on parenting.

Sara - posted on 04/14/2010

My son is 3 months and every once in a while, if he's tired enough, he'll sleep 6-8 hours before waking up to eat. I absolutely HATE having to wake up in the middle of the night... lol but I LOVE my little bub too much and I know what's best for him. Some kiddos sleep through the night at an early age, even if they're breastfed. But I think it's unacceptable for someone to force their child to [or try to] sleep through the night if the child needs to wake up. :/

Arwen - posted on 04/14/2010

None of my children slept through at 4 months (or 14 or 24 for that matter!) and sometimes it doesn't matter what you do in terms of consistent routine, feeding through the day, day time naps or whatever, some babies just are not good sleepers and it took my son 3 years to sleep through and now he's the best sleeper of all three children. Sometimes it just best not to analyse too much ; ).

Laura Zoey - posted on 04/14/2010

all i know about babywise, christa is that a baby has died from babywise "training" i honestly cannot let my son cry. i love him and i created him and he didnt ask to be here but i wanted him. If he has a need or a want from me it is my job as a mother to help him. he is a baby and he cannot speak. babies speak by crying, cooing, babbling etc. when he cries he is upset and he feels bad. if i am upset i dont want to be alone. if i am sad i want someone to comfort me. if i was crying alone in my bed and someone was sitting outside my door listening that would have to be quite a heartless person. babies are not dogs to be trained. they need guidence and support. they are humans who didnt choose to be our kids and we ought to treat them with love and no one can convinse me that sitting by and listening to 20 minutes of crying = love.
i cried myself to sleep as a teenager when my mom died. i wouldnt wish that on ANYONE. much less a baby!
it was the saddest feeling to cry and cry until my body felt weak and my head throbbed and i had no more tears. i was miserable. and i can only assume that when your baby is crying for you and you dont respond that her tiny brain believes you are dead too.
i know many many many documented cases of crying it out leading to emotional disorders and psycological breakdowns later in life.

now you do sound like you love your kids and that your methods seem to be working well. i hope your children dont suffer the repercussions from abandonment sleep training techniques. but i hope you reconsider letting her cry. just show her you love her in the night and the day.
and i know that babywise is a book and that we dont tend to question things we read. but id suggest reading more sleep books for babies and seeing that most dont reccommend "training" your baby. but instead how to guide her into a healthy sleep pattern where you all can feel like youve done the very best for her.

i hope this doesnt offend you but instead gives you a look into how painful it is for me to imagine some strangers baby crying herself to sleep.

Charity - posted on 04/14/2010

i agree, who ever said you get to sleep ever again after you have a child. When you decide to bring a life into this troubled world it is your responsibility to do what is best for them at all times, not what is convenient for you. Sure you are allowed to bitch to your friends about your lack of sleep but trust me a breast fed baby will be healthier in the long run and all those sleepless nights while feeding are just training you for all those sleepless nights when they are teenagers.

Kristiana - posted on 04/14/2010

I hate reading some of the replies where others (pediatricians, in-laws, well-meaning whomevers) try to convince moms that they're somehow "not doing it right." While there's a lot of evidence that suggests that babies *can* sleep through the night at 4 months (or even earlier), it doesn't follow that all of them are ready to do so.

Of course we all want to get some sleep, and we're all willing to go the extra mile as well to ensure that baby is getting all the nutrition s/he needs to develop. All that said, I'll give you an "I wish I'd known" for your thinking.

At 2 months, my daughter slept through the night for the first time. This lasted until 3 1/2 months. From then until sometime after month six, the girl was up 2, 3... up to six times per night, crying to be fed. As you might imagine, I was utterly exhausted and unable to cope.

We engaged a baby sleep therapist, who came to the house to review the baby's situation. The bottom line was, despite how much time I was spending feeding her, she wasn't getting enough food to make it through the night. This was a combination of the fact that I had gone back to work so I was breastfeeding less, and that we hadn't switched up the nipple sizes on her bottles. So the poor baby was tiring out before she was getting everything she needed!

Needless to say, there were other tricks to getting the girl off to bed without fuss - the "not asleep, but drowsy" bit being key. But while our girl is happy and healthy now, I still feel bad that I didn't know enough to ensure she was eating what she needed when she was too young to help me understand!

Anyway. My pseudo-rant in response to yours, Meaghan. My advice is to stick to your guns and do what's right for you and your kid! :)

Erin - posted on 04/14/2010

I totally get what you are saying Meaghan! I actually get the opposite from people though! My baby girl has been sleeping through the night (10-11 hours) for almost 2 months now, and people keep telling me to wake her up and feed her!! I think it's ridiculous, when she wants to eat, she lets me know! If she is sleeping peacefully then why bother her? Now once in a while she will wake up around 4 or 5am to eat, and of course then I get up and feed her until she's full.

Lori - posted on 04/14/2010

I have had eight babies. All were different. Two were weened by 12 months. The others were closer to twenty-four months. Most slept through the night by six months. My last one is 27 months and still nursing. She recently started sleeping through the night. It's been rough, but I think she knows what she needs.

Hannah - posted on 04/14/2010

I BF and don't mind getting up with my son at all when he wants to eat. Shit... sometimes I wake up and want to eat in the middle of the night too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christine - posted on 04/14/2010

I agree 100%! Many pediatricians and books suggest infants should be fed every 3 hours. True, all children have individual needs but there are a lot of lazy parents out there. Of course those parents would never admit their choices are motivated by their own needs and not babys.

Jemma - posted on 04/14/2010

I think it depends on your definition of 'night'! Babies are great at regulating when and how much they feed and will adjust depending on thier needs. If they are hungry feed them - then they will go back to sleep, much quicker and less stressful for all than letting them cry it out! When my 2 month old wakes and I'm too tired to get up I just think how I would feel if someone else had total control over my food and kept refusing to feed me. I actually quite enjoy them now as with a 3 yr old too it gives me some quality time with baby :)

Shanica - posted on 04/14/2010

Great Post Meaghan!!!! I have stopped listening to alot of the advice when it comes to sleeping issues. My son was a very good sleepers, and slept for 6-7 hours when he was younger and now at 10 months, wakes up, up to 3 times during the night. Sometimes every 2 hours and there are times I do nurse him back to sleep, and sometimes I just help him fall back asleep. My PED said to let him cry it out and that he is scamming me for milk and I tried tis and I just couldn't do it...I can't, I wont and I dont' mind if I get lack of sleep. I know eventually, he will sleep through the night and for god's sake, he's only 10 months (AND corrected 7 months) as he is a preemie.
If my boy wants, milk, he's gonna get it and if I have to stay up all night, so be it.

Heather - posted on 04/14/2010

It wasn't until 12 weeks that my doctor told me I could stop waking Christiano up every 3 hours if he slept through a middle of the night feeding. He told me that he needed that nutrition up until that point.



Now at almost 14 months, I'm wishing he'd sleep through the night. :)



I don't do cry it out. Not for us. I have 4 and with all of them they didn't sleep through the night consistently until after one. Yep, I'm exhausted all of the time, I can't sleep when the baby sleeps, unless my 3 year old decides it's a good day for a nap too. But, I just can't make them cry.



My older 3 did the same thing, like I said, and all of them have sleep through the night on their own now. I figure they'll do it when they are ready. If Christiano needs the security me rocking him for a bit or is hungry and wants to nurse a little, I do it. He's only going to be little for so long.



I'll get a full night's sleep again when he's 2. LOL



ETA - I just read that 70% of babies don't sleep through the night until 9 months. They just aren't able to. It said some babies as young as 3 months can sleep 6-8 hours at a time, others won't do it until 1. Chalk my son up in the later category!



Here's some more of the article, which mentions feeding cereal -

__________________________________



You may have heard that bigger babies and babies who eat solids are better sleepers — but it's not true. Your baby's ability to sleep through the night is related to age, not size or diet.



There's no research to prove that adding rice cereal to the evening bottle, for instance, will help your baby sleep better or longer. In fact, this practice is a choking hazard, and offering solids too early can deprive your baby of the necessary nutrients in breast milk or formula. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that babies be exclusively breastfed for the first four to six months.



___________________________________



And another article that has a link to cereal feedings from Kelly mom, my go to breastfeeding site. :) http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/...

Dora - posted on 04/14/2010

I have to agree with you. I heard the same thing when my son was born. I was breast feeding and he was getting up every 4 hours. Everyone around me kept telling me give him formula and cereal at night. I stuck my guns and did I thought was best for him. I made the decision to have him therefore I will do the right thing by him. I kept right on nursing him.

Gabi - posted on 04/13/2010

We're in the same boat!

Tara - posted on 04/13/2010

Even 20 min of "crying it out" is not right for me to do with my son..

Tara - posted on 04/13/2010

Oh my! I might be lucky if my BF baby sleeps 6 hours a night which is maybe once a week, other than that, he wakes every 3 hours to eat. And there are studies showing how crying it out causes brain damage and emotional problems so I could never do that to my baby. When he cries, hes usually hungry, or wants to be rocked to sleep or just be held. :) and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Jennifer - posted on 04/13/2010

Every baby is different - my first 2 slept through the night early. My 3rd still wakes up at 11 months. They do what they want when they want, you can't force a baby to do anything.

Francesca - posted on 04/13/2010

I am so glad to know I am not completely alone. My little 11 month old wakes and nurses about 3-4 times a night still. I don't mind. I wear my bags under my eyes like badges of honour.



My doctor said that babies will sleep through the night when they are developmentally ready too and not to try to speed it up. That it can cause unreversable damage.



Often, society places crazy expectations on even babies to become self-sufficient too soon. And unfortuantely new moms often have to shovel through these crazy expectations and find out what is considered healthy. And that is not always easy. I think its far too easy just to judge other moms. I think the only way to help is to remind other new mom's that its normal and healthy for a baby to wake often.

Shonda - posted on 04/13/2010

Ok. I, myself, only sleep between 5-6 hours at one time. I am very active and I eat every 3 hours when awake. If I don't, then oh boy... not fun. I cannot imagine going 12 whole hours without eating. Occasionally I sleep 8 hours, then I am sluggish the whole day and famished when I wake up. It is not even healthy to eat so much at one sitting. Portion size is very important to teach from the start. So I do not expect my little to sleep past 6 hours at once at this young age when he is primarily breastfed. As he gets more solids, then he will sustain a little longer at night... meaning I will expect up to 8 hours. By the time he fully eating regular food and no more breast, then some where between 10-12 hours... closer to 10 at once. Bottomline, breastmilk speeds its way through the system... hence the reason exclusively breastfed babies feed every 2-3 hours. So at night, maybe they miss a feeding and sleep 4-6 hours at once. Any more than that and we are expecting too much from these tiny ones.

When you start to add in solids, you can expect a couple more hours... you get the idea. This little guy I have here is super active... trying to walk at 8.5 months... signing a couple of words back at me... I think because I work very hard to make sure I give him what is age appropriate based on his needs and not my want to have pre-baby living. I love love love being a Mom and raising these little people to be independent, well-adjusted, honorable young men and women. And our oldest is 13 YEARS old... so we have been down this road... it really does pay off to smell the roses and assist in their development with tender loving care. No criticism for any parent. But sometimes we are overwhelmed... I understand that... but then we, as parents, need an outlet so that does not affect what we expect from our children.

Christa - posted on 04/13/2010

Laura, I did let her cry it out. But I need to clarify as people have different uses for that term. I let them cry as a part of sleep training. So once they are fed and dry and getting sleepy I put them in their bed and let them cry until they fall asleep. Usually no more then 20 minutes. Although you learn their cries and can tell when it's more then just fussing to sleep and when they need your attention. I didn't MAKE them not eat. I used the Babywise method and the principle behind this method is to gradually get them on a schedule, wake up same time every morning, go to bed the same time every night and eat every 2.5-3 hrs during the day. You nurse them before bed and then put them to sleep, again sleepy but not alseep. Then let them sleep as long as they want. When they wake I feed them. Eventually they don't wake up until the morning. Like I said my 8wk old has done it but is not consitent yet. If she wakes earlier I feed her. The point of letting them cry is to help them learn the skill of falling asleep. That way they don't need you to nurse, rock, sing, etc to sleep. You can lay them down when they are tired and they go right to sleep. Once their bodies adjust to their schedule the crying becomes less and less until they go down without a tear. My first would babble to herself sometimes before falling asleep once she got older. She's 2 now and still goes down for her nap and at bedtime without a fight and falls right to sleep. Her body knows it's time to sleep. I know this method isn't for everyone, but it's by no means neglectful, cruel, lazy or any of the other judgmental things people say about it.

Monika, I have two healthy happy girls that slept through the night and my uncle raised 2 sets of twins, also happy and healthy, using the same method. It's not "toturing them by not feeding them".

I wish people would stop to understand another method before they become so judgemental and mean. I'd like to think that MOST mother's are going to do what's best for their child and aren't neglecting them.

One last thing, my daughter (2 yr old) has been in the 80% percentile for her growth and is extremely smart for her age. She is very well behaved and super affectionate. She is healthy and happy and isn't that what we are all trying to raise, happy healthy children?

April - posted on 04/13/2010

i've been consistent with bed and nap routines, nursed my son on demand, and I've sat down to a long nursing session right before bed. He's almost 16 months and still doesn't STTN. I feed him whenever he wakes up too, which is often 5 times a night. I think he DOES need it and he is not a tiny 5 week old either! He's a 23 pound toddler!

Liza - posted on 04/13/2010

I cringe when I hear parents tell me that their little ones ( as young as 5 weeks) "sleep through the night". Babies need to eat every few hours. BM goes through babies bodies about 2 hours, vs. Formula at about 4 or so. From the many things I have read, STTN is about 6 hours w/out waking. If my baby woke before that I fed her, she obviously needed to. I get so upset when parent's don't parent at night and let their babies cry just because they are tired. They are crying for a reason.

I know of someone that had their 4 wk old sleep for 12 hours w/out feeding her.!! She cried her self to sleep. They took her to the doc. and saw she was not gaining weight and come to find out she was crying b/c she was hungry!!!! It just breaks my heart

Monika - posted on 04/13/2010

I agree it completely confuses me when people write "how do I get my baby to sleep through the night?" why sugar coat it all the time.. you don't... deal with it, this little human being needs you both day and night... welcome to parenthood. I don't know what crack addict told these people that babies sleep through the night at a certain age but the myth is not reality. There is the rare mother who has a baby who does, but if yours doesn't torturing your child by not feeding and letting it cry it out when it wakes up at night is neglect imo.

My daughter is 8 1/2 months and on rare occasion will sleep threw the night, I always went by the philosophy "just roll with it". This maybe my first baby but I have always work with her not against her.

I once asked a doctor about this sleeping threw the night thing and he said to me my daughter "was a normal growing teething baby".

Laura Zoey - posted on 04/13/2010

christa, it wasnt just for you but i am speachless that an 11 week or an 8 week should be fasting for 8 hours? how did you make them not need to eat? did you let them cry it out? my one year old has slept 8 hours without a peep 2 times in this year. id love him to sleep more but im not willing to let him cry at all. i feel like when he cries he is calling for me and i never want him to feel im not there. so if you know a way with out crying id love to hear it!

Lerin - posted on 04/13/2010

Meaghan- I so agree with you. My SIL EBF (til last Friday they ran out of expressed at the daycare & had to give her formula) her 8 wk old, and called and asked me about putting rice cereal in with bm bottles to get her to sleep longer & I told her that her baby's tummy was really too young for solids yet and that rice cereal has less nutrients than bm, and the AAP says now that babies shouldn't have any solids til 6 mos. to that she said ' oh well i'll ask the dr. when I take her for her checkup next week' and her dr. is a complete quack- everyone I know that has gone to him that EBF was told to supplement with formula and if there were any kind of problem he suggested supplementing formula.

I agree with Lisa. Doctors are trained to treat illnesses. They know statistics about feeding babies, but like we all agree all babies are different!

As far as STTN- my 16m old doesn't even do this yet- still wakes up several times to nurse- and my friends 2m old has STTN for a few weeks now. Babies are all different.

Christa - posted on 04/13/2010

Laura I don't know if your comment was addressed to me, but I consider STTN 8 hrs without a peep.

Anneke - posted on 04/13/2010

Sick of mums saying I need to fatten my baby up with junk food! I shold be feeding him all sorts of crap apparently. he is breastfed still and 14 months old and very actuve, I see him as just right they see him as to thin as they have never seen a breastfed baby on either side of my family and they are all over weight and so is their kids! are they thick??? I got that advice , fill them with stuff at bed time/, my son sleeps at night he wakes for a feed in the morning now, but for a long time he woke for a feed and i gave it to him, nothing else. Cant go feeding that to a baby with their insides. My insudes where always bad as I was fed crap from 3 months old and am a coalic now., am I hell having that happen to him! so sick of seeing fat kids and mums who think its normal and pick on mine for being just right! wtf!

Laura Zoey - posted on 04/13/2010

i think we need to define sleeping through the night:
is it sleeping for 6 ours with out waking at all?
is it sleeping 6 hours with not eating but maybe waking to be resettled?
is it sleeping 6 hours with eating but not having an awake period?
is it sleeping 8 hours?
or 12?
ive been told that babies under one year need about 12 hours of sleep at night.
does this mean that they should be sleeping 12 hours with out waking up or eating?
i dont know any adults who wait 12 hours to eat so i dont know how we expect babies to do this while they are constantly growing and develping.
lets defing this through the night part so we can all understand what our babies should or shouldnt be doing at night.

Christa - posted on 04/13/2010

I agree with you about feeding them formula or cereal to get them sleeping through the night, that's not good for them.

But I disagree with you about scheduling and STTN. My first STTN at 11wks and my second (8wks) has STTN, though she's not consitent yet, but she is sleeping at least 6 hrs each night now. It's all due to scheduling. It's not cruel or lazy or selfish as many of you think. You are helping them learn skills, like falling asleep without any help. Falling alseep is a learned skill and they need to be able to self comfort. Both my girls are healthy, grew just as they are supposed to and are happy and know they are loved. They don't function any better then we do when they only get 2-3 hours of sleep at one time. They need that long stretch just like we do. Physically there is no reason why a baby can't STTN at 12wks, unless they are abnormally small or there is another medical problem of course. If they are still getting up it's a habit/comfort thing. If you are ok with that, then more power too you, but you really shouldn't speak so harshly of others who parent differently then you.

Also it's not that we don't feed them when they are hungry, it's about feeding them enough during the day that they aren't hungry at night.

Lindsey - posted on 04/13/2010

I have three children. My first (now 4 1/2) began sleeping through the night at 5 weeks. My second (now 3) didn't sleep through the night until I swear he was 2 years old. lol. And I now have a 5 month old who has been sleeping through the night for a couple months now. They were/are all breastfed and I never fed them any more or any less than they wanted. I started them on rice cereal once a day at 4 months old as their doctor told me I could. All three of my kids sleeping patterns as babies are different. For moms who are looking for advice on how to get their babies to sleep through the night, they can try what other moms do, but unfortunately for them all babies are "their own person" and they depend on you right now. Would you like to be forced to eat when you're not hungry or not be able to eat when you are? I think not.

I know how frustrating it can be to hear things from other moms that you don't agree with and it feels good to vent, but they're always gonna be out there. Moms who think their babies should be sleeping through the night, mom's who are pushing solids on their 3 month olds, mom's who give their babies a combination of meds (for teething, gas relief, ect...) to "help" them sleep, mom's-to-be who at 35 and 36 weeks (if not sooner) are searching for ways to induce labor with seemingly no care as to what health risks lie ahead for their babies being born early. It's mom's like those who, I think, make us want to be better mother's to our children and all we can hope for is that our kids will learn from us and this cycle of "selfish" parenting will die out

Minnie - posted on 04/13/2010

Many mothers listen to their doctors' advice because doctors are authority figures and they [should] know what they're talking about. Unfortunately, doctors are not well-educated in infant nutrition or normal infant sleep and tend to bring their personal opinions into their advice.

Celeste - posted on 04/13/2010

You are not the only one. I feel the same way. I feel that some mothers just expect too much from babies.

From my experience, I agree, all babies are different. Some babies sleep through the night at an early age and some don't. All of my kids were breastfed. My oldest daughter STTN at about 3 months.

Then I had twin boys. I expected my twin boys to STTN at around that age. I was dead wrong LOL They were close to two! Before that, they'd wake up several times a night, and of course, never at the same time. So, I understand what it's like to barely get any sleep, I've been there.