Annoyed

Schmoopy - posted on 08/09/2009

I was very conservative with my first child - I hardly ever BF in public. But now, with my second, I BF everywhere! I totally embarrass my family! LOL.

I do it in restaurants, parks, you name it. People look at me funny sometimes, but I say it's their problem, not mine. If I were using a bottle they wouldn't think twice but b/c I'm giving him the most perfect food on earth they balk?!? I'm feeding my baby - it's totally natural!

You go, Girl! Don't worry about what people think. You can feel good knowing you're doing what's best for your son.

Amanda - posted on 08/09/2009

oh yeah..okay another thing I forgot to mention I was in the "parents" section meaning its for newborns..infants and nursing mothers. I have seen a mother nursing her baby before in that room..but I guess some people think they can just sit wherever they want and get mad about it too..lol



(my boyfriend brought this part up and told me to post it) so yes, he is upset too :D

Anne - posted on 08/09/2009

are you kidding?? at the pediatrician where they are praising women for breastfeeding as there are so many benefits?!?!? I really think you should bring this up to the MD - maybe they need to put up posters and educate their other clients who are offended. Then tell them to keep their kids eyes covered when they walk out into the street and see all the kids dressed like Britney etc

Chelsea - posted on 08/08/2009

Quoting Bethany:

I totally understand not wanting to breastfeed around creepy old men. :-/ Ew. I nurse in the car with a blanket frequently, and sometimes it can get a little awkward if someone tries to peer in.

Two things disturb me about public breastfeeding. 1) It bothers me that women who discreetly breastfeed in public should be treated like we're subhuman, and that we have to feel uncomfortable about feeding our hungry children. 2) It very much bothers me when women feel the need to expose everything while breastfeeding in order to make a point. It is just plain rude to purposefully try to make people uncomfortable because it is your "right." Sure, you go ahead and de-sexulaize the breast... see how that works out for ya. C'mon, have a little decency.

I don't think that women overexpose themselves just because it's our "right."  I do not cover up when I breastfeed for many reasons.

1.  It bothers my daughter

2.  It means that I always have to carry something around to cover up with

3.  It is hard to stay covered

4.  It can be hot and uncomfortable

5.  It's confining (I can't walk and breastfeed while covered because that means I can't see my daughter with no extra hand to pull back the cover in order to help her to latch if need be)

Amanda - posted on 08/08/2009

Bethany I didnt take it like that! I was just saying!! lol

Stina - posted on 08/08/2009

LOL just read the post about your nephew. A week or so ago, we went out to eat and as usual, Eliana wanted to eat shortly after my meal arrived. I had brought a blanket for privacy so as not to make other restaurant patrons uncomfortable... My 4 1/2 year old son thought it was strange that I was hiding his baby sister under the blanket. "What are you doing mommy? where's Eliana? Is she eating? Why is she under the blanket?" I was pretty pleased that he thought it strange for me to hide his sister under the blanket.

Stina - posted on 08/08/2009

I totally understand the awkwardness you had about feeding your baby at the car place around all the guys. It's hard to get comfortable feeding in public. I remember feeling like a criminal the first time I nursed my son at a public park. It gets easier and blankets do help when you can't find a secluded place. Glad you gave it another try at the doctors office. Too bad about the ugly looks.

I am now nurseing my 3rd baby. Just back from the park where she had a lovely lunch while her brother and sister played. Sure it was a quiet park... only a handful of people passed by... but the difference between nursing her in public and her brother is like night and day. I didn't even use a blanket. Instead, I like to layer a tank and another shirt so I can lift the top shirt up and pull the neck of the tank down so there isn't any skin accept my breast exposed... and since Eliana is 3 months, she really hides what part of my breast is out for her so no one sees a thing. From a distance they probably just think I'm cuddling with my baby.

keep nursing. You'll get more comfortable the longer you do it. Maybe pick up one of those nursing covers. I have one for at work (so blessed) so that I can nurse my daughter more discretely than I do when at home or at the park. I actually like it better than a blanket because she can't pull it completely off of me when she plays with it.

Bethany - posted on 08/08/2009

Amanda~ It definitely helps when you're raised around breastfeeding! My mom breastfed all of us, too, and so it's not a foreign concept for us. And "2" was not directed at you at all. There were some comments I was responding to. I get pretty upset as well when I get dirty looks while being completely discreet about it.

Aleksandra~ I want Parent Rooms in our malls! They sound amazing. This country (USA), however, is not quite as advanced as others in the childbirth and breastfeeding departments. :-/

Amanda - posted on 08/08/2009

There are two things I also wanted to say 1) I have small breasts..B size so Im not worried or feel as challenged as you mommies with bigger ones. 2) I wear a black cami under EVERYTHING so I don't worry about my belly being exposed. Which is another reason why I got upset..I wasn't showing ANYTHING at all.

My family is very very supportive and so is my boyfriend and his family. My mother was so proud that I chose to BF..she took pictures of me feeding Mannix his first meal at the hospital..I was shy about her taking pictures of that but Im so glad that I have them :)
My mom was also bf when she was a baby and she bf my brothers and sisters as well..shes proud of me for sticking to it :D

Aleks - posted on 08/08/2009

Here in Australia, most shopping centres now have what they call a "Parents Room". Parents can safely and comfortably take their baby to get changed, toddler to a toddler sized toilet, heat up baby food and formula, or comfortably breast feed their child - with lounge chairs to sit on... there is also a small play area for the older child to play while mother/father changes baby or feeds ... It's sooo easy these days. But, it is also a womans right ( legally ) to be able to bf her child in public! I personally feel more comfortable going to a parents room to feed ( I have a very curious baby!!!! keeps on latching off to look around ), I have large breasts which I have been very conscious of, but I have fed in public numerous times and have not had a bad experience with people's rudeness.
I do have to say, good on you for standing up for yourself, your baby and your breasts! :-)

Bethany - posted on 08/07/2009

I totally understand not wanting to breastfeed around creepy old men. :-/ Ew. I nurse in the car with a blanket frequently, and sometimes it can get a little awkward if someone tries to peer in.

Two things disturb me about public breastfeeding. 1) It bothers me that women who discreetly breastfeed in public should be treated like we're subhuman, and that we have to feel uncomfortable about feeding our hungry children. 2) It very much bothers me when women feel the need to expose everything while breastfeeding in order to make a point. It is just plain rude to purposefully try to make people uncomfortable because it is your "right." Sure, you go ahead and de-sexulaize the breast... see how that works out for ya. C'mon, have a little decency.

Amanda - posted on 08/07/2009

I fed my son at Six Flags the other day it was 90 degrees out and i wasnt about to cover him up. My moto if it affends you don't look at me..

Tiffany - posted on 08/07/2009

you cant please everyone and the only one you need to please is your little one. so if the little one gets hungry just whip it out. i do it constantly with my little one. Your not doing anything inappropriate or rude so screw anyone who might not like it! =]

Lisa - posted on 08/07/2009

do it girl!! u get them out anywhere that baby wants i feed everywhere and anywhere if baby is hungry he eats dont care who is there or there opinion my son deserves the best and will get the best. xxxx

Nicole - posted on 08/07/2009

I know it can make some people uncomfortable, sometimes I think it is because they almost want to look, but feel creeped out by the feeling, so they get annoyed with you. (or they just don't know where to look, so walking away is easier)

The way I look at it, if people don't like it, too bad! Your baby and his health/well-being are the most important thing . Good for you for not giving up!!

Ramona - posted on 08/07/2009

I had a hard time BF in public with my first daughter, but that was mainly because I never knew when a feeding time would become a screaming battle due to her colic. I was beginning to become more comfortable with my second daughter, but it was a trip to WalMart that really got me going. I was trying to print pictures, my second daughter was getting hungry fussy and I was about done. The ladies were wondering why I wouldn't give her a bottle and that's when I told them I BF. Both ladies said, "Well feed her! Everyone else does around here!" That boost blew any inhibitian I had away, and now I BF in public anywhere; church, store, family, etc. I don't use a receiving blanket anymore b/c my daughter won't keep it on, but I do try to pull my shirt down a little. I have had many people walk up and just think she's sleeping, even without the blanket.



Good for you! BF wherever you feel comfortable and expand those horizons.

Kiesha - posted on 08/07/2009

Breastfeeding is Natural.... think about it Before formula was invented, what was there.....BREASTMILK!!!!!!!!!! I have a breastfeeding cover, if I forget that, I use a receiving blanket and if I don't have that , then there is the burp cloth or screw it and use nothing as long as my shirtcovers most of the boob! Forget everyone else.

Fallon - posted on 08/07/2009

The pediatrician's office is the number one place you should be able to breast feed! I just got done with an 11 day stay in the hospital with my twins who were 6 weeks early ( who I am still successfully exclusively breast feeding for 17 weeks now) and even doctors and nurses who have long hours and stressful jobs take the time to sit down and pump every couple hours..i think that sends the obvious message that if people in the health care professions are doing it it must be great! If you aren't comfortable with people seeing you breast feeding that's fine..but other peoples opinions shouldn't effect your decision to breast feed..Mommys know best!

Michelle - posted on 08/06/2009

My mom breastfed my brother for 2 years and me only like 6 months because of having to go back to work and the pumps then were SUCKY! My mother in law also breastfed and my step mom too! They are all in their 50's so all the babies were born in the late 70's or early 80's... I think thats when I became popular, like the fun happy hippy days! hahaah My grandmother on the other hand told me all about how they said that formula was better basically and that you had to give it to babies ... She said they also told you that you had to feed your baby every 4 hours and if they cried after 2 hours you had to let them cry until 4 hours passed... WHAT THE HECK! I feed my baby on demand, I mean I eat on demand! Oh well

Michelle - posted on 08/06/2009

My mom breastfed my brother for 2 years and me only like 6 months because of having to go back to work and the pumps then were SUCKY! My mother in law also breastfed and my step mom too! They are all in their 50's so all the babies were born in the late 70's or early 80's... I think thats when I became popular, like the fun happy hippy days! hahaah My grandmother on the other hand told me all about how they said that formula was better basically and that you had to give it to babies ... She said they also told you that you had to feed your baby every 4 hours and if they cried after 2 hours you had to let them cry until 4 hours passed... WHAT THE HECK! I feed my baby on demand, I mean I eat on demand! Oh well

Michelle - posted on 08/06/2009

hmmm well you know what I have learned to be very comfortable to feed my daughter in public now .... Its nice and I haven't gotten any comments but I once had a male employee at a restaurant keep staring and giving me a strange looks, I had a hooter hider on so he may have been wondering what I was wearing! I also think he was one of the owners and was wondering if people would start complaining to him! hahahahaa

Rachel - posted on 08/06/2009

I would suggest maybe buying a belly hugger. It is more convienient than a shirt. It's basically just a tube of fabric that fits over your belly so when you pull up your shirt you won't feel as exposed. It might help you feel more comfortable in public. As for the boob feel free to expose all you want. At least with the belly hugger you might not feel as naked in public.

Marci - posted on 08/06/2009

I am right there with you. I fed at the park about a week ago and some lady came up and sat next to me. I too had a receiving blanket over us and she asked if I was feeding a baby. I said yep. She then says Oh, I have never seen anyone doing that in public. Doing that...feeding our children is that apparently. So I just finished and went to the other side and all.

Denise - posted on 08/06/2009

I'm bf too. And like you at first I felt uncomfertable doing it in public (with my first one I didn't do it at all except in front of my mother and sister inlaws). At walmart I used to got to the restroom, but an employee told me it go and use the change room if I wanted. I was suprised they'd let me do that, but like she said " it's cleaner, and more comfertable for you and the baby".So I was thankful to them.

Now my new baby is 4 1/2 months and I bf her too. She eats often for short periods of time. I not going to run all over looking for a restroom or side room, making her wait to eat, when this (bf) is what we're told is best for our babies (even from formula companies). The first time I did it was at a parade in a small small town. I was going to walk back to the van in the parking lot and have my 3 year old miss the small parade. So I was at a picnic table, I had a jacket with a sipper that covered alot and a blanket too. Later another mom came over I know, she didn't even notice I had bf. And she told me " Big deal! It's a boob, everybodies seen a boob before! And if they don't like it screw them, my kid comes first!" She also told me she were's 2 shirts. One to pull down and one up. So there really isn't anything showing anyways.

So that made me more comfident in bf in public. Besides if women can go topless why can't I feed my baby!?!

Karena - posted on 08/05/2009

Way to go momma. The more moms bf in public the more normal it will seem to others.

Jennifer - posted on 08/05/2009

i think if people are uncomfortable when we do it in public they should turn the other way. in europe, people do it all the time!!!!

Julia - posted on 08/05/2009

I know how you feel. I get extra evil glares because i have very large breasts (double F) and i get a lot of remarks from men if they see me feeding my son. My own cousin even told me that i was being disrespectful for feeding my child in front of her! I just say that if they arn't mature enough to handle moms just doing what they are supposed to do then it's their loss. I am giving my son what he needs to be a healthy child. No shame at all! Keep it up.

Kimberly - posted on 08/05/2009

I bf in public all the time all you need is the blanket to cover you. I have mastered bf in public while walking around. When we went to Great adventure for our daughters birthday that exactly what I did to feed our son. Who cares what people think it is the healthiest for your baby and that should be the only concern not what others think. At first I felt out of place when I did it in public but when the skill is mastered no one will even know that your feeding a baby

Regina - posted on 08/05/2009

We nurse any and every where. Kaden is almost 9 months old and has no desire to stop. He does eat three meals a day plus snacks so, nursing has slowed down. When it's milk he wants it's milk he gets. ~mommy milk~

Elizabeth - posted on 08/05/2009

Good for you! Love your response to the receptionist! I am lucky I often go to a park that is filled with kids and moms with babies so there's no problem there and the malls here all have a family room which is clean and comfortable where you can go if you want to feed baby in a quiet place. My niece and nephews find the whole thing facinating (they are ages 6 and 4 respectively) and they ask many questions and hang out with me while I feed her when they are around. At least by the time they have kids there will be less people to judge them since the new generation is much more accepting of it.

Annette - posted on 08/04/2009

it's law, u have a right to bf anywhere ur allowed to be. it's ridiculous that society has some kind of stigmatism about public nursing, honestly. I hope u don't give up, I nurse in public all the time and don't even pay attention to anyone around me. so far I haven't had anyone tell me anything and my family is very supportive. it'll become more natural the more experienced u get at it. a lot of times even my friends sitting right by me don't know I'm doing it! lol

Amanda - posted on 08/04/2009

lol. my mother is 52 and i think she's old! (dont wany to offend anyone though)

The other day I was nursing Mannix and my nephew (7yrs old) ran up to me and backed up with his eyes like O_O and said "I DIDNT KNOW THAT WAS REAL!" I started laughing and said yes, Mannix drinks from me just like kittens and puppies drink from their mommies and just like your mommy did to you. He said "Yeah, but I didnt know it was REAL..thats all he eats?" he was so freaked out..but amazed. I told my sister what had happened and she giggled.

Debbie - posted on 08/04/2009

I am always thrilled to hear a mom explaining to her child that I am feeding my baby when they see me NIP. I always smile and say, yup she is hungry and having a drink right now.

Minnie - posted on 08/04/2009

Since about 1945 MOST women have NOT breastfed. That's the sad thing. Odds are, whatever woman you meet, she did not breastfeed. Let's hope we can turn that around soon.



Anyways, 50 isn't old, my mom is 51! Lol. She too, was a rarity that she nursed myself and my siblings, and my sister for over two years.

Gretchen - posted on 08/04/2009

In the 40's and 50's it became extremely unpopular to breastfeed. That trend continued through the 60's and 70's, and really only recently it has started emerging as the more common way to feed. My mom was a legend in her time -- all my aunts did not nurse their babies, and neither did my grandmothers. My aunts were telling me that it was just totally normal -- after you had your baby, the doctor automatically said "we'll give you a shot to dry up your milk" -- that was just the norm.

Anyway, all that to say, don't be too surprised by the older women being less likely to be understanding, unless they are those special few like my mother!

Sasha - posted on 08/04/2009

I don't know- I know a lot of women who didn't bf then- like my entire in-law side of the family:) which made nursing at family gatherings tense at first!! after 19 moths of it I think they are pretty well used to it:) mean people suck!!

Amanda - posted on 08/04/2009

aww thanks so much for the positive feedback! It really means alot to me to know that so many mothers out there are so supportive :) I do wish that more mothers would breastfeed instead of give formula. The thing that freaked me out was that lady was at least 50 or so and she seemed so appalled by me feeding my son..Im pretty sure she bf her children back then

Minnie - posted on 08/04/2009

Just grin at whomever gives you a rude look. Who CARE'S what they think?
The only way we're going to normalize breastfeeding again is to do it- and frequently, where people can see us. Don't hide, don't hide your baby under a blanket- be proud that you can nourish and comfort your child from your body!

Nicole - posted on 08/04/2009

Good for you. I posted this on another thread but I think you will like it. And happy World Breastfeeding Week to you! Indiscreet Breastfeeding Manifesto by Sundae Horn

* I will nurse my child anytime, anywhere, no matter who is present or what I am wearing.
* I will bare my breast with pride and confidence.
* I will not apologize for nourishing and nurturing my child.
* I will not smother my child with a napkin or blanket.
* I will smile at everyone around me and ignore rude stares.
* I will know that I am giving my child the perfect infant food from the most efficient, ecological, and economical delivery system.
* I will know that I am giving my child the healthy start that is his or her birthright.
* I will set an example for women and girls, educate the public, dispel breastfeeding myths, desexualize the breast, and make the world a better place, all through the simple act of feeding my child.

Aileen - posted on 08/04/2009

get your bangers out and enjoy feeding your baby who cares what anyone else thinks

Jodi - posted on 08/04/2009

I liked your reply to the receptionist. That is what I tell people when they say they don't think women should bf in public and should go to a restroom. Heck, most of us won't touch anything in a restroom, and of course, most restrooms don't have chairs! Anyway, don't worry about it, you did the right thing. Covering with a blanket shows respect to those who might be uncomfortable about it, and if they still say something, that's their problem. It's funny that 40 to 50 years ago it was considered totally normal for a woman to breastfeed in public with a receiving blanket.

Breanne - posted on 08/04/2009

You got it...who cares what they think, they don't have to look!