Any advice on helping an older baby sleep through or settle without the breast?

April - posted on 03/04/2011

Zachary rarely nurses first thing when he wakes up, unless he plans on going back to sleep (like 6 am and then sleep til 7am). Really, the only time he nurses is right before nap and that's because to him sleeping and nursing go hand in hand. That's how I know he will self-wean...nursing is a means to an end to him, not something he is obsessed with having all the time.

Hannah - posted on 03/04/2011

I have to say April that her dad is much happier himself now he feels he can help out. Although he does tend to sleep through her waking up a lot and I have to give him a nudge!
Connie does feed 3 times a day, on waking, before her nap and before bed. So logically, I feel it's fine to do, but I struggle to hear her crying for me sometimes, and I admit I have still gone into her a few times. I can't do the hardline thing t all!

April - posted on 02/21/2011

Hannah, I agree with you...I think Connie is ready for night time weaning! I also think it is important for Dad because (in my experience) it isn't good to let men get used to Mommy doing everything. That's how it is with my husband. He is so used to never having to get up, never having to change a diaper.

Does Connie nurse throughout the day? If so, how often? I would consider night time weaning if Zach nursed at least 3 times during the day.

Hannah - posted on 02/21/2011

It's lovely you are so committed to your son April. I don't know for sure how long I will bf for, but after night two of daddy settling her down with no probs (she did wake up a couple extra times but no real crying, just a bit of shouting 'no' when she saw it wasn't mummy) I am hopeful that she is ready for night weaning. It was really strange to see things flip from me being the only one who could settle her, to her becoming really agitated and not even nursing to sleep, then daddy has this new magic touch, she lies down in her cot and doesn't make a peep. I take that as a sign she's ready, but it was completely unexpected!

April - posted on 02/20/2011

I'm kind of stuck on the night time feeds because he is day time weaned (except for nap) by his own choice. If we have any chance of making it to natural duration (minimum for natural duration is 2 and half---max 6-7ish), the night time feeds are just something I've got to bear with for now. The immune system is fully mature around 6...hoping we make it to at least 4, but not betting money on it, lol! He is not that demanding of breast milk unless it is night time. I have no idea how it will happen...that he will just want to go to sleep without the breast, but I am trying to have faith that it will. It's not forever, I know, but sometimes it sure feels like it!

Hannah - posted on 02/20/2011

Thanks for your replies guys, it's nice to know it's not just me in this situation.
April - hi I was thinking of you while I posted! Not been on here for such a long time as I have just been coasting along, but recently got frustrated with the night time thing.
Daniela - yes I know what you mean, while I'm not ashamed of the breatfeeding I do feel people will judge me for not 'taking control' and weaning by now. They seem to think it's something that should just be done and you are a wimp for putting it off.
And Mary, last night I actually got daddy to go into her room and he got her back to sleep so easily, I am still in denial.............. He just had a little chat and said 'no mummys asleep'. Let's see if it happens again tonight, maybe night time weaning will happen after all, I really didn't expect it!

Good luck to all of us that we will be getting a good nights sleep soon!

Mary Renee - posted on 02/20/2011

I felt the same way! My daughter wakes up often less than two hours after I put her down and wants a short comfort feed before she goes back to sleep. I felt like I could never go out or have a night out.



However, one night I gave it a try while I was visiting my mom and sister. We found out that she'll go to sleep if my mom or sister rocks her back to sleep. However I can't rock her back to sleep because she smells me and knows I have milk and I'm holding out on her! If my mom, sister, or boyfriend take her and I'm not there, she'll go back to sleep for them if they rock her.



If you haven't let someone else try to get her back to sleep - it might be worth a shot so you can have a night out.



That said, I haven't felt comfortable leaving my daughter with a non-family babysitter yet for the same reason as you... I'm scared she'll wake up and be unconsoleable with out her comfort nurse. Nonetheless, I think I'm going to try it and just stay close to home so that if the babysitter has trouble she can call us and I'll come straight home

Daniela - posted on 02/19/2011

Yep, I can't go out at night either and I totally know what you mean, that it feels a little embarrassing. It's not the nursing itself but the fact that my child simply doesn't sleep without me while every other child on the planet seems to sleep just fine. I think sometimes people who don't nurse a toddler think it's some kind of a weakness on moms part, like you are not taking control of the situation, when really I think it's all just quite natural. It's good to know there are other moms out there who are also still nursing through the night and who havn't had an evening out in such a long time. I know you can night-wean but that kind of sounds like work and a lot of crying to me, so I'll give it a miss for the time being. I don't actually really mind staying with - much prefer some time away in the afternoon when i feel i need a break. Anyway, good luck to you. I know what it feels like!

April - posted on 02/19/2011

Hi Hannah! I haven't seen you around COM in a while!! I am still nursing my son too. He is 26 months old and still nursing through the night. I also cannot go out at night because even Dad cannot get him back to sleep once he's awaken. He wakes up at least 3 times a night to nurse. He ALWAYS nurses to sleep. Don't worry what other people think. You could share with them that you are still nursing...that's what I do. I feel like if I tried to hide it, then that makes them less able to accept that we are nursing for a natural duration. For me, it's a trade off. I give up my opportunity to go out at night, so that my son can have a little bit extra immunity and some extra vitamins through my breast milk. It is not always convenient. Sometimes, I wish I could go out, knowing that he won't wake up until the sun comes up. It'd be nice go to dinner with my husband without having to be home before bedtime, without feeling like I'm the one with the curfew. But..this isn't gong to last forever. One day, Connie will sleep through the night and won't be looking for your breast. Letting the little one self wean isn't just one sacrifice...it's a bunch of small ones. I know how you feel! You can PM whenever you want to...it is nice to know I am not the only mama nursing multiple times a night throughout!