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Any tips to help me help/encourage this mother?

Lerin - posted on 04/05/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I'm trying to support & gently encourage my SIL. I've known her for 8 yrs and we don't have the greatest friendship.

She has a 7 wk old that she's exclusively bf since birth. (She didn't bf her older child at all). She returned to work today. I've loaned her my Medela double electric pump. She's been using it for the past several weeks. She calls me when she has questions but doesn't look up stuff herself.

She's been giving the baby a paci since she was a few days old, but has PRAISE GOD! not had any latch problems. She doesn't feed on demand. I don't agree with it, but didn't see it as a real problem b/c my SIL had to return to work, and I knew it would be easier if she was on a schedule for the daycare. (The nurses and/or pediatrician told her every 3 hrs, so that's what she's been doing).

She's concerned with the amount of milk she gets when she pumps- the first time she got only half an oz. which I told her was normal and yesterday when I asked she said she's getting 'a little more'. I've emailed her lots of pumping tips, and even bought her a box of Mother's Milk tea to help increase her supply so that she can pump more. The baby has taken up 4 oz. in one feeding from a bottle. She asked me about putting rice cereal in with breastmilk since she's not pumping alot.
I told her I personally wouldn't b/c A) the baby has tummy issues anyway and this will only make them worse, and B) regardless of A she's not old enough yet. She's concerned that she just can't pump enough. So I told her to always allow time so that when she's dropping the baby off somewhere, she can nurse her, even if it's not 'time' for her to eat, just to 'top her off' and that'll help her go longer without a bottle, less she will have to pump.
I just can't seem to get thru to her that she should pump more often, feed the baby more often. I'm also concerned that when the baby goes back to her 2 mo. check up the Dr. is going to tell her to supplement formula- he's got a reputation for not being in the loop on matters of breastfeeding- I told my SIL this but she took her other child to that dr. and didn't really want to change.
Any suggestions for ways to encourage her more??? I'm still bf my 16 mo. old but my SIL isn't on the extended bf bandwagon. Yet, hopefully.
Thanks in advance & God bless!

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3 Comments

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Jennifer - posted on 04/05/2010

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It might be she needs to try a different pump. Also, can she go by at lunch to feed the baby? Some babies reverse cycle, where they nurse all night and sleep all day. Hopefully that will help.

Celeste - posted on 04/05/2010

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I've been in this same situation time and time again..I think you're doing all that you can do, just encourage her and giving her information. It's up to her whether she wants to take your advice, kwim? I'd just keep on doing what you're doing!

I know it's frustrating. My sister and my brother's ex GF had babies within a month of each other and I tried my best to provide them information and resources. Ultimately, they both gave up. It sucks but there was nothing else I could do.

Carmen - posted on 04/05/2010

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Wow, you are a good SIL! Do ya'll have a La Leche League where you live? they provide a lot of support for bf moms, sometimes its easier for reluctant mom's to hear the same advice from a nationally recognized group rather than a bunch of moms! but seriously, remind her that the more she pumps, or feeds, the more milk she will make. i used mother's milk tea too and it really does help, but she must use it regularly.something i tried to tell myself when i was having trouble with bf early on was that women have been doing this for thousands of years, without the aid of formula or cereal in bottles. my daughter is 21 months now and still nurses at night and has only been sick once in her life! the health benefits are astounding and i hope you can convey that to your sil! but try to remember, even though you mean the best for her, this is her child. hopefully she will continue to bf her child, or at least express milk for them, but even if she decides to supplement (God willing she doesn't) any breast milk is better than no breast milk. Good luck and blessings to you and yours!

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