Better Homes and Gardens says to breastfeed in the bathroom

[deleted account] ( 162 moms have responded )

I can't believe Better Homes and Gardens allowed something like this to be published with their name on it.





http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/food/the-...





**EDIT**



They edited the article and removed the section about breastfeeding. This is what it said:

"THOU SHALT NOT BREAST FEED AT THE TABLE

Yes, I have seen table-side breast feeding at a four-star restaurant. If at all possible, take it to the ladies room. (Note: most upscale restaurants have really nice restrooms!)"

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Acelynn - posted on 05/27/2010

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I was appaled that readers who commented on the link said its distracting in restaurants and we should go some where else! I'm sorry but if you are on a date with your signifcant other shouldn't you be paying attention to them and not some FABULOUS mom (BTW) who is BFing her child at the table next to yours? Its an insult to hear these things about women who are giving up their time and body to make sure that their children have the best possible nutrition they can get. How horrible for other people to judge us! My husband supports me BFing my daughter and is just waiting for someone to make a comment about it at a restauraunt. I BF in public there is no shame in it whatsoever! My baby has got to eat doesn't she. There would be a bigger fuss if I just let her scream... Some people are just ignorant! SN: I was a nanny and previously took a trip out of the country where we spent time in alot nicer restaurants than there are here. The little one was 2 and a half and did wonderful! She ordered her food carried on a conversation at the table with us and was fully involved in the experience. How do we expect our children to learn if we do not teach them?

Lea-Andra - posted on 05/25/2010

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I was directed to this by a friend.

I have been out to restaurants and although I do try and work feedings around the dinner or lunch, but sometimes it's not so easy. So I have fed at the table, I have a cover so no one sees anything. I have never come across disapproving glares and any sort of comments. I will do it again. I frankly feel that I have to feed my child, deal with it.

Michelle - posted on 05/24/2010

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People are just so ignorant it is not funny . I would love to see the writer of that eating her meal off the floor of a Mc Donalds in the ghetto !
Most women when breastfeeding, noone knows what she is doing. It seems that it is assumed we just whip it out , bare all and go at it with out a second thought . I have seen much more bared on how some people scantly dress, than a mother breastfeeding her child.
I hope she catches hell from everyone . It was totally rude and uncalled for and just shows how ignorant and anti-child/anti-breastfeeding she is.
And are you kidding me? To top it off they have stay at home alternatives? Like a new set of parents do not deserve to go out !
Better homes and gardens is now forbidden in my home !

Michelle - posted on 05/29/2010

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I saw this on the Today show and I was upset! Everyone else is eating at the table why shouldn't my baby. For the record I breastfeed any time my baby is hungery and that includes at the table. No smoothing this over for me.

Nicole - posted on 05/27/2010

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Yeah, I followed this issue from the beginning (as I'm sure you did, too, Sara) and I have to say that I was disgusted! The apology was half-a$$ed and too late. Although, at least they even issued an apology or addressed the concerns of readers or potential readers, unlike Redbook!



The reason I feel their apology was sub-par is because the whole blog was offensive to parents and children and it should have been totally removed. Not to mention that the writer has no children herself. Not that I feel only parents make the best decisions all the time, it was just that her piece had "I don't have kids and, therefore, I don't want to be bothered by your kids being allowed to be human beings because I am anti-kids" written all over it!



Also, how does taking kids to restaurants have to do with better HOMES and GARDENS???



As well, I was surprised to see Joanna Linberg commented even here! Wow, that is some SERIOUS attempts at CYA! But sadly, Ms. Linberg, I fear for your magazine that the damage is done. At least Redbook puts their misguided lack of breastfeeding support in the disguise of breastfeeding advice. Your writer flat out disregarded the law in 47 states!

This conversation has been closed to further comments

162 Comments

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Imogen - posted on 06/03/2010

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Shame on you BH&G!!!!!!!!!!!
Mummies have the right to feed their babies when, where and how they like!!!

Sheri - posted on 06/03/2010

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i will whip my boob out anywhere now a days...,. what is wrong with these people? take me off of their list... their magazine will not be delivered to my house anymore!

Kylie - posted on 06/03/2010

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yes thanks for your advice Better Homes...I can't tell you how much I love the thought of carrying my upsettled 13kg 11month old baby boy into the toilets so I can sit in a stall and wrestle with him to settle for a feed...

Susanna - posted on 06/03/2010

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I just have to say that for a mag thats main focus is on decorating homes and having beautiful gardens....a blogger that has no children should stick with a topic that has to do with the content of the mag.....Brestfeeding is the most wonderful gift you can bestow to you children....I did with all four of my children and I was very modest...more so than some of the tops/dresses/swimwear I've seen...My words to Silly uncomfortable sexiholics is look away!!! Or by all means take your meal to that "very nice" bathroom. Breastfeeding Mommies out there...You Rock...Keep Your heads held High And Keep Giving your Babies The Best!!!!!

Kathy - posted on 06/03/2010

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OMG! there are so many more disgusting things that go on in restaurants. Not that bfing is disgusting by any means...I'm a mom of 3, bf them all and am still bfing the youngest, she's 19months...the article is gone so I cant read it, but to the person that wrote the article... people having loud conversations about offensive topics, people using foul language loudly within ear shot of my children, married men or women hitting on their server in front of their spouse, people without children telling me how to handle mine...those are things that you can/should address, not women trying to nourish their children. Like many others have already said, many women expose more of their breasts with a 'sexy' top than I do while my daughter is eating. and I wonder this too, maybe someone has insight...it seems most of the outrage is from women who think it is offensive, are they afraid to see a little piece of a breast? has anyone heard anything from men being offended? My husband just asks me to be modest about it (which I am more than happy to do ;) b/c men like breasts and if it's hanging out he doesnt want other men's eyes to wander :)
big mistake Better Homes!

Nicole - posted on 06/03/2010

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Heh, in my public nursing adventures, the nicer the restaurant, the better nursing is received. I nurse anytime, everywhere, and never with a cover. I have too many moral objections to nursing covers to count. Here's a real zinger the BH&G folks would love: I pump right out in the middle of the dining room where I work. Uncovered, of course. (I work in a burger joint so there is no place back of house to pump, and since I don't make burgers in the bathroom, I certainly won't make my baby's lunch in there). I have only had positive or curious response from the customers. Even uncovered, it really isn't conspicuous because I lodge the breastshields from the pump into my undershirt so I can be hands free to knit or read (I don't eat the crap we serve ;P)

[deleted account]

I wasn't going to comment, but others have mentioned their thoughts on breastfeeding, in general.

How I feel about it is that women should be allowed to breastfeed in public whenever/wherever so long as it is safe; however, I also feel that mothers should be modest and consider those around them, as well (in addition to respecting the intimate nature of the act). To me, breastfeeding is not only a necessity to the babies, but it is also very intimate and very special. It is not something I, personally, want everyone partaking in as observers. Why should mothers stoop to a level of "well, if teenagers should get to make out in public, why should I hide my baby nursing at my breast?" It is not the same at all. And besides that, it is a terrible analogy It cheapens the concept of nursing as much as having to force nursing mothers into the bathroom.

Brooke - posted on 06/03/2010

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How rude! This totally pisses me off! I'm feeding my baby WHEREEVER I need to!

Jeanette - posted on 06/03/2010

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what upsets me most is that it is people with this attitude that make it uncomfortable for most women to be confident about what they are doing. breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world and whether you choose to nurse in public or give yourself and your baby a little more privacy i hope all breastfeeding moms are proud for giving theirs babies the absolute best because they deserve nothing less!

Wendie - posted on 06/03/2010

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If anyone asked me to feed my daughter in a bathroom id ask them to join us. I mean, if they wouldnt enjoy their food in a restroom why should my infant?
The way I look at it is, are they going up the scandlous girl thats wearing barely anything and asking her to change her clothes? Why should I have to HIDE my breast/childs food(fyi:Im actually a super mom at breatfeeding; I can hide it farely well, anywhere). I do not walk up to mothers that bottle feed and rip them a new one, so why is breastfeeding so frowned upon? ATLEAST im not putting man made chemicals mixed with 8oz of water into my child all day every day.

Jennie - posted on 06/03/2010

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I think that whoever doesn't like it could eat in the bathroom. And to H&G you already lost us... the damage is done

Sunshine - posted on 06/03/2010

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I can't believe this! I breastfeed my baby anywhere (discreetly, with a cover). He has eaten at both upscale restaurants both and burger joints. None of us eat in a bathroom and neither should he. I heard about this blog last week and was amazed at the ignorance that continues to prevail in 2010.

Margaret - posted on 06/03/2010

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I breast fed my 3 children (#2 and 3 are twins) past the age of 3. When they were babies, I brought the sling and fed discretely in public whenever it was necessary (though admittedly, never in a 4-star restaurant). I did sit in the car or on a bench in the lounge a few times that I recall. I have to say, I regretably had to "pump" in a few restroom stalls when on business trips and that was a nightmare I would never subject my children to! As my babies got older I only breastfed in private. But I can honestly say, no one ever gave me any disapproving looks when breast feeding (as I said, I was discreet such that mostly no one even knew it was happening) but boy did I ever get "the look" about nursing what folks considered a non-infant (even less than a year old). People need to be less judgemental and more accepting of other's choices... especially when it is natural and the best thing for the baby. And breast feeding Moms should be as discreet as possible (knowing we live in a judgemental society) but should absolutely NOT have to go nurse in the bathroom. Shame on BH&G for this huge gaff and good that they removed it!

Robin - posted on 06/03/2010

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Why dont you go eat your Dinner in the bathroom ..... People are so stupid.. You know they are telling how healthy it is to breast feed, then you have all these people making young mothers feel guilty or ashamed... I am not sorry to say I breast feed my baby whenever and where ever she was hungry.. In some states it is against the law for them to ask you to leave or go anywhere to feed your baby.. Your baby has the right to eat anywhere the mother is.. with the exception of 3 places.. churches, bars - any place babys are not let in.. and then peoples homes with out permission... so moms go for it.. Dont feel like people can tell you what to do (check your states law).

Amanda - posted on 06/03/2010

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I had my first son at 16 and I was sick with mastitis and he had thrush we were waiting for a prescription at Shoppers Drug Mart when he got very hungry, he was only 2 months old so I sat in the waiting chair covered myself and fed him. I remember alot of whispers and eyes and was made to feel very uncomfertable. One couple said to me" I am to young to have children and that I need to be mindful of others and go elsewhere to feed my child" I know I was young but hey that didn't change the fact that I had a hungry baby. I am 31 now with my second baby ( Still breatfeed him) and still to this day I remember that feeling that I never should have had to feel, it was terrible to feel like I was doing something wrong when I was doing the most natural thing in the world!!

Kirsty - posted on 06/03/2010

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most people dont even know when you are BFing a baby at all, and especially shouldnt if they are out for a lovely meal. I remember sitting at my inlaws house when my son was young, while i was feeding him. My husbands 23 year old step brother offered to hold the baby for me so i could drik my cup of tea a bit easier. You should have seen his face when i said to him, "thankyou, but i just dont think he will like your boobs as much!!" I had beeen sitting there for about twenty minutes an he didnt know i was feeding him, he thought he was asleep! I have fed my son at football games, shopping centres, my nephews sprots day, majority of the time no one even realised. If people dont like it then maybe thay should stop looking!!!

[deleted account]

I was thinking of subscribing to Better homes and gardens but now will not, apology or not, someone proofread that garbage article. Babies have to eat..

Shandra - posted on 06/03/2010

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Absurd, as everyone has said. It's just a part of how the culture treats breastfeeding as weird, which is ridiculous considering it's more normal than bottles (historically and worldwide) (not being derisive to anyone who uses bottles - I work full time and we depend on them and my breastpump). I liked the poster who pointed out you wouldn't object to bottle feeding a baby at the table - this rule, and the "pro-breastfeeding" people who agree with it, just perpetuates the myth that breastfeeding is somehow shameful.

Alicia - posted on 06/03/2010

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Wow...what a double standard...men want to look at a woman's breasts all day, but when there is a baby attached, it makes them uncomfortable. And for the article to be written by a woman is even more amazing to me! Breastfeeding is the healthiest, most natural and pure form of feeding we have and it makes people uncomfortable? We should be praising one another because it is in no way an easy task! I love how people have this misconception that breastfeeding moms are just so comfortable that they will just pop their breast out on the dinner plate and let their baby go at it! :-\

We should not have to hide to feed our children because it makes people feel uncomfortable...try to imagine how uncomfortable it is for a first time mom to breastfeed in public...knowing that people can't help but watch because they want to catch a glimpse of someone's boob. Why have people perverted breastfeeding?

Julia - posted on 06/03/2010

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i didnt see that one
glad i dont look at that one n e ways
i dont really care what ppl think bout me feeding my baby
if they dont mind going into some bathroom that is not clean maybe clean alright

Chanda - posted on 06/02/2010

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It is good they see now that they were wrong. They should have known before it went to print, because the hard copy is still out there. I am waiting to see what they say in the next issue. Thanks for the Redbook info, I will look into that and write to them as well. We need to keep educating everyone for the cultural shift to occur. So keep speaking out ladies, we will be heard.

Christine - posted on 06/02/2010

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come on people -breast milk is the ONLY milk on earth designed for human consumption.

[deleted account]

WHAT?!?!?! Okay, I'll take my baby to the restroom to feed them if you bring your dinner plate in too...

Kelsey - posted on 06/02/2010

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I wouldn't eat my dinner in a public bathroom, why should my baby have to? Because it makes someone squeemish....I don't think so! To all those moms out there who are breastfeeding, you are rockstars! Keep up the good work!

Xiomara - posted on 06/02/2010

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Statements like this make me so angry. You should read some of the terrible comments posted afterward by the community. We've a long way to go in terms of social open-mindedness.

Heidi - posted on 06/02/2010

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Good grief! Moms are stronly encouraged to breastfeed on one hand, but on the hand...no one wants to see it. Well, that can be very isolating for a mom. I have found out that because of the looks and comments I get, not to mention how uncomfortable I feel with it...it is easier just to stay home. A lot of moms would give it up.

Tiffany - posted on 06/02/2010

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Maybe someone should suggest to BHG to eat in the restroom and see how they like it then.

Daniela - posted on 06/02/2010

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whom ever wrote this article obviously never breastfeed there child. They dont know what there missing!!! The bond btw mother and baby can never be duplicated.

Erin - posted on 06/02/2010

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I usually do nurse my baby in the restroom, lately. This is not because of what any magazine, or anybody else may think or how it may make them feel. I breastfeed in the restroom because my daughter is very easily sidetracked and will stop nursing to stare at things. In the bathroom, there are less distractions for her. However, if she is cooperating, I have no problem feeding her at the dinner table (though i dont often dine at four or five-star restaurants with my children).

Becky - posted on 06/02/2010

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I am so Grateful that so many of todays new moms are biting onto this - How shameful of B&G's to even suggest this! this coming from a Gma who breast fed her own.... 5 and NEVER did I EVER resort to a Bathroom! anywhere! in the '80s. and this being 2010 -

Jenilee - posted on 06/02/2010

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And people wonder why the US has the lowest breastfeeding rates! Sad, because things like this deter women from giving their children the best part of them. There are many trendy items (hooter hiders) to use while nursing in public. I'd like someone to write an article based on how the nursing mother and infant feel when having to be fed so inconspiculously!

[deleted account]

is "better homes" supposed to be anything more than consumerist crap? anyway..boycott them , i would if i ever bought it to begin with.

Tosha - posted on 06/02/2010

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I fed my first child in a bathroom once and I decided never, ever again. It was degrading, uncomfortable and not to mention unhealthy for both of us. I breastfeed anywhere now. I am as discreet as I can be about it, but honestly, I don't care if someone looks. I'm feeding a hungry baby. There is nothing sexual about it. If someone is offended by that, they have a problem, not me. In other countries, it's common for a woman to just whip it out and start feeding. At least we cover ourselves.

Lilly - posted on 06/02/2010

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One of my magazines ( I think fit pregnancy) had a photo of a family from the 1940's--mom with two kids, one at the breast and dad all at the table in a diner. So awesome I will be framing it.

A - posted on 06/02/2010

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That's very sad. I understand feeding in the bathroom- I'm very shy and just don't feel comfortable doing it in front of people. Its not because I'm ashamed or embarrased about breastfeeding, but I would draw attention (negative) to myself and I don't like attention as it is. Its one thing to choose to go to the bathroom because of reasons like this, and another to feel obligated to. Kudos to those who breastfeed in public and no woman should ever feel condemned for doing what is right for their child.

Kris - posted on 06/02/2010

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my baby was hospitlized and the nursing staff act like I was doing him wrong for not giving formula. They would close the curtain each time I would feed him.

[deleted account]

Oh, and I don't cover myself. With a good nursing bra and a somewhat secluded table it's fine. It's nothing they haven't seen before, but most people just pass by without looking.

[deleted account]

Oy, my son has the same right as anyone else to eat at the table; whether his food comes from my breast or the kitchen. If she's bothered, then maybe she should leave and eat HER food in the bathroom. She seems to love them so much...

Lisseth - posted on 06/02/2010

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That is just crazy, nothing wrong with feeding your baby. And there is nothing wrong with going out with your babe, some moms don't have anyone to look after the little one and you just need to get out. I have to givecredit to those who can bf in public. I'm a bf mom, but at home my baby got so used to feeding laying on my side that when I try to sit her on my lap and put the cover on she goes nuts. Starts pulling on the cover and starts crying.

Maria - posted on 06/02/2010

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Yeah, my son was scared of the bathroom in restaurants... he wouldn't nurse cuz he was scared so we would go out and he wanted it out there... The loudness of the flush when someone went and the low lights, was enough to spoil his appetite.

Julie - posted on 06/02/2010

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If they don't want to see breastfeeding at an upscale restuarant - why don't they eat at home? Why must a breastfeeding mother be the one who is made to feel like she is doing something wrong. If more mothers did breastfeed their kids there would be a lot fewer sick and insecure kids in the world. So what is actually the big deal about breastfeeding, after all, that is actually what breasts are for, feeding babies.

Jeanette - posted on 06/02/2010

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the whole list was stupid! as a breast feeding mother of twins if my babies are hungry i will feed them were ever i please. i keep myself covered. the only way your gonna see anything is if your looking. i would hope if your spending money on a meal you would be focused on that and not what others are doing. not to mention breasts are an evolutionary development so we mammals could feed our young not fun bags to be stared at.

Nikaley - posted on 06/02/2010

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I am very boob shy so that article really didn't phase me. I always took my son either to the car or RR or I just pumped before going. More power to the moms who can breastfeed in the middle of a crowded room like that but not me, I just don't have the "balls" and my son is a big mover, he would pop his head off at any given moment and I just don't want the world seeing my jiggly parts hahaha.

Cassandra - posted on 06/02/2010

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I can't believe that! I'm not gonna eat in a bathroom, no matter how nice, neither will my son.

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