Breastfeeding and lack of drive for intimate relations with spouse

Dawna - posted on 08/19/2011

I am in the same situation. Here is my opinion. Have sex anyway! Do what YOU have to do to get excited.... my man is sexual and I understand his needs and although it is difficult it is my place to try to make him happy as I try to make my child. HE IS IMPORTANT TOO!! (I never realized how much he didn't feel important until he broke down in front of me.) Now, I also believe the men in our lives need to make more of an effort... so if he really wants it... I NEED a back rub and a foot rub... and a rub rub if you know what I mean *wink, wink* Try faking it, like pretend you are an actress and go through the motions, groan, talk dirty or what ever you did before.... but you have to SELL IT... you might find out that it is nice to get back in the saddle. Seriously, don't just forsake one relationship for another. They are all important. Give a little.... you do things for your kids you don't necessarily want to but because you love them you do....

Lorraine - posted on 08/19/2011

i can understand what your going through because i feel the same way, my LO is 7 month's old and i have a 4 year old to so that's just enough to keep you busy as it is, then to find time to breastfeed takes a lot of energy out on us so no wonder we just want to go to bed and sleep. On top of it all i try to pump extra for her cerial & if she skip's a feed i pump just to keep up my supply, it's hard work breastfeeding but that is our choice because it's the best for our babies, i say to my partner that my boob's are out of order they are only for feeding, there made for it and it's not forever. but my problem is that i'm happy with my 2 eagle pair so i tell him he need's to get fixed so we can have sex more. well that's not happening in a hurry well you don't get it in bed then. but i'm not sure weather you want more kids so your situation could be different to, but hormones do play a big part for some reason my milk would not store for long in the freezer but now i think it has worked i put it down to my hormones being that high and have settled down at 6 month's now but you do what feel's good i think the men need to make more effort sometimes and buy flowers and go out on a date to remember your relationship instead of in the bedroom, we like to feel wanted after having kids and our bodies go through a lot of change. good luck

Lori - posted on 08/18/2011

I'm struggling with this as well. I have a 3 year old who I nursed till she was 23 months, and I only weaned her cause I was pregnant. Now the new LO is 9 months old and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. I also find that I have between very little and no interest in sex. My husband has asked me when this more than 3 year dry spell will end and I just don't know what to tell him. It does help me feel more like being with him if we do more hugging and hand holding and sitting right next to each other when we can. The trouble with that is that I get so touched out between my hight needs 3 year old and my nursing 9 month old that I don't want to hug and cuddle much. So anyhow, I certainly don't have an answer for you, but know that you're not alone. I think the hormones produced by breastfeeding affect some of us more than others???? That's my guess anyhow.