breastfeeding past one year+

Daniela - posted on 12/29/2010

My partner is happy with me breastfeeding our sixteen months old. I think he appreciates how much healthier and stronger she is compared to his friends children. Then again, he often does have a hard time with her in the morning, when she won't sleep without 'boo' or otherwise is constantly asking for me. I don't think he'll care, if we keep going for another year or two or whatever. I don't really think either of us know where our comfort-zone ends. Otherwise I did start getting some comments already, or those looks. There are definitely situations were I am uncomfortable nursing her now and where I try to distract her until we are more private. I think being the odd one out is difficult for me because of the kind of criticism that it attracts in this regard - it's gross, weird, unnatural, damaging to the child, mother does it just for herself. I hope I can stick it out until we are both ready to wean, but I wouldn't blame anyone not being able to do that. Not everyone has a thick skin.

Herna - posted on 12/29/2010

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Celeste - posted on 12/29/2010

My DH was against it initially. I continued anyway. I don't remember what I did to make him change his mind. He's done a total 180 since then. Now he's 100% pro extended nursing and supports me 100%.

Jeannette - posted on 12/29/2010

@ Codie. When I told my hubby I wasn't quitting at a year and he was annoyed. I printed out some research showing the benefits past a year. He looked at the papers, but I don't think he really got it. I'm still breastfeeding at 13.5 month. I don't think he really cares anymore.... but I do think it still annoys him. I'm the only person we both know that has breastfed for this long. Actually, besides my friend with a son 4 months behind Bryce, I don't know anybody who breastfed past 6 weeks.

Anyway, as I said, I'm still breastfeeding. I think he is more okay with it, because Bryce feeds as much as 5 times or as little as 2 times. So if we go somewhere, I usually don't have to feed him. I still feed Bryce in front of my husband, when he comes home from work and sometimes he won't look at us while I do that. We haven't really talked about it since I told him I was continuing. I still don't know when I am going to quit. I may have to have my wisdom teeth pulled this coming year, so at that point I'd have to quit, but that may not happen. I more then likely will not continue after 2 years. I need a break between breastfeeding and when we start trying for baby 2. My husband will probably bring it up again, if we are still breastfeeding at Bryce's 15 month check up, esp. since the doctor wanted me to stop at 12. But we will see.

Codie - posted on 12/29/2010

do any of you mom's have daddy's who are against bf past 1yo? how do handle it?

Tanisha - posted on 12/29/2010

I totally agree with all the posts. I too planned on nursing for actually 8months then bottle feeding breast milk til age 1.. My son however had other plans, at nearly 2.5 he is still nursing and if left to his own druthers would not EVER stop I am convinced.. But despite how it can get annoying at times (when i am in the middle of something else). the tiem we spend together is priceless. The fact that he has only had a few colds, none of which last very long and has never had an ear infection is cause for jumping for joy...
My son is VERY picky and some days only wants to nurse when he comes home from daycare.. He also will sometimes not eat at all (solid food) if i don't allow a few minutes of nursing time..
each child is different and parents reasons for continuing vary as well. but one thing is for sure, health benefits are not gone at 6months.. so many people judge those of us who breastfeed past 1. That does make it difficult.. If you do continue past 1 do as one posted suggested. set up nursing ettiquette. ( i need that :) )
Thanks for posting your question and getting educated and not judemental :)

Cathy - posted on 12/29/2010

Wow! im really excited to hear about that secret remedy for diaper rashes. My 14 month old gets diaper rashes all the time and i cant seem to get rid of them.
When she was younger, i was counting down the months till she turned one, so excited i wouldnt have to pump and go home from work on my lunch breaks, but when the big day finally came, i couldnt do it. I was scared to lose the bond that I have developed with her through bf. While we only nurse at night and at nap time, and occasionally when shes not feeling good, it still helps both of us to sleep better. i love knowing that she gets what she needs from me on those days she decides shes not eating anything. if youre not comfortable nursing past one year, thats okay. Just do what feels right for you and your baby. But you might be surprised when your baby turns one and youre just not ready to give it up. Good luck!!! :)

Jamie - posted on 12/29/2010

For me, I am a fulltime student, with a 7 year old 4 year old and a toddler. He wakes alot at night, and nursing helped us both sleep more. He was injured a month ago pretty badly, and the nurses couldnt find anything to comfort him, but i nursed and he calmed instantly. It builds a bond that he knows mama, and daddy are constants.. They all go to preschool or school now, and the 2 year old and 4 year old walk away with confidance that we will return.. My oldest who wasnt nursed is still a nervous anxious child who cries when having to be dropped off.. He is the only one who wasnt nursed. Im sure that isnt the only reason he is that way personalty plays a huge part but im sure it helps

Amanda - posted on 12/29/2010

Well, for me, breastfeeding isn't only about passing on nutrients. It's also about bonding and providing comfort to my baby. It's really about your parenting style. I am not saying that my way is more right than yours, just that it's different. I follow the attachment parenting style, in which you respond to your child's emotional needs immediately in order to build their confidence in you as their primary caregiver and themselves. It validates their feelings and lets them know that it's okay to express them, and that you'll respond to those emotions. As a part of this we also co sleep and have her bed on the floor so she can get in and out of bed for naps when she feels the need (her room is completely baby proofed and we have a gate up so she can see and hear the rest of the household.) I'll eventually transition her to that bed at night as well, but we're not ready yet. I think that is the core of it. Some families just aren't ready at a year to stop what is an emotionally fulfilling practice that is free of harm. And some are. :)

Laura Zoey - posted on 12/29/2010

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby...
This is about what to do when baby refuses to breastfeed.

Codie - posted on 12/29/2010

thank you thank you thank you to celest, tereasa, and laura! all were very helpful, RESPECTFUL, and encouraging :)

you all have the understanding that its possible to hold an adult conversation on a topic in which you may have different opinions on, without being mean and calling names. once again, thank you for being rrespectful.

Laura Zoey - posted on 12/29/2010

Some women aren't affected by Mirena some are really badly affected by it.

I saw some women say they dried up their milk, got tumors in their ovarys, had bleeding for months, had mood swings, had depression, had weight gain, became infertile, had a baby aborted from the Mirena, and more!

So ya, some women have no side effects at all, they are perfectly happy with it. But it seems that when Mirena goes wrong it goes VERY wrong!

I'd encourage you to research side effects some more, with milk production sometimes one side affect, and only get the iud if you are willing to risk yourself being one of the unlucky ones who has a life changing side effect.

What scared me was the commercial saying it can cause "loss of pregnancy, or loss of fertility."

Freaked me out!

I personally wouldn't get it but I'm not a risk taker by nature, and having more kids is not compromise able for me!

Codie - posted on 12/29/2010

thank you kathleen, for being so nice and understanding!

i also didnt know birth control could affect supply. i have an apt the 11th to get the mirena. should i reconsider? i've sort of been battling to continue bf as long as we have. corbin decided for a while that he didnt want to bf during the day. period. and he wouldn't eat solids either. thats when i started suplimenting with formula. he's a small baby anyway (maybe 14lbs at almost 7mo) and i was afraid he'd start losing weight. at least with a formula bottle i knew how much milk he was getting and plus formula is packed with calories! also when i pump i don't get much, maybe an ounce altogether, and its just easier to bottle feed in public when we're out.

Celeste - posted on 12/29/2010

I'm glad that you're asking questions. You have to understand that sometimes, I get on the defensive because of our culture's poor view on breastfeeding, ESPECIALLY after so many months.

Like I said in my previous post, I *NEVER* thought I'd nurse as long as I did. I never thought "Gee, I'm going to nurse a 3 year old" But, after getting to that point, I realized that I was OK with it. Now, I *DO* have my own comfort zone and I encouraged weaning at that point.

My family wasn't at all supportive. They would say things like "They're going to have a boob fetish!", things of that nature. But, I had medical and scientific fact and all they had was their opinions. And their opinions didn't hold much water.

I'm just glad that their pediatrician was very well informed and was glad that I continued to nurse. A couple of years ago, when my twins were 2, one of my boys was hospitalized for dehydration (he couldn't even hold breastmilk down). I continued to nurse him in the hospital. Their pedi came in and said that she was SO glad I was nursing him because we'd be able to get out sooner.

I'm glad your educating yourself :)

Laura Zoey - posted on 12/29/2010

This is the broader link to that other one, you can read some of her other breastfeeding articles.
Kathy dettwyler is an amazing resource cuz she is an expert on the natural biology of humans breastfeeding and she studies women all over the world as well as animals so she gets a real scientific look on us as mammals.
I learned so much from these articles! I hope you find something new too!

Laura Zoey - posted on 12/29/2010

Codie, this is an interesting article about non nutritive sucking, worth reading at least even if it doesn't make you think differently.
Comfort isn't the reason I breastfeed, its the reason Eric wants to breastfeed, but the reason I continue is because the immune system is not mature until approx 7 years. So the longer I give him my immune system through my milk the better health he has.
HE likes it cuz it's soothing, comforting, loving, etc. I do feel the same as I enjoy breastfeeding hum. But the REASON I do it is for his immune health.
Ok here's the link!
http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsuck.ht...

Melanie - posted on 12/29/2010

i myself am going by recommendations from the american academy of pediatrics, the world health organization and the la leche leage. google them. i had a hard time with my first just because he was early and spent 3 weeks in the nicu so i pumped and bottle fed. til my pump broke when he was 2 mo. my second i nursed til she was almost 2 and the 3rd til he was just past 2, my 4th just turned one and im still nursing her. i love it and cant figure out why someone wouldnt want to nurse a baby. i do think theres a point when it becomes too much but i think that depends on the kid. i think 2 or even 3 is fine but past that....... might be a bit much.

Teresa - posted on 12/29/2010

Pretty much the only people that understand me still breastfeeding my son are online, but that is their problem cuz they aren't him and they aren't his mom. I only set out to do what I feel is best for my kids regardless of anyone's opinion of it.

Unfortunately, since my children's father is now my ex and the courts don't respect extended breastfeeding.... Visitation was granted that forced us to stop nursing 3 days ago. I tried and tried to wean my son... not because I wanted to or felt he should, but because I knew this visit was coming. The more I tried to wean him, the more he cried and clung to me and asked for it MORE.

Now, I hear he is doing ok w/ his father, but I think that has more to do w/ the fact that he's old enough to understand he can't have 'baboo' w/out Mommy being there than he's actually DONE nursing. Obviously it isn't a physical need for him anymore, but it very much is an emotional need and when I don't refuse him.... he asks/tries to nurse much less.

Not sure if that actually addressed anything you were saying or not. I've got 'boobs' on the mind right now cuz they HURT. ;)

Codie - posted on 12/29/2010

thank you laura hoffman! i really am trying to have an open mind. i didn't start with conversation so i could argue with people. i started out saying "i'm not trying to be rude" because i didn't want mothers to my curiousity the wrong way and i figured that since its a contriversial topic, some mothers probably would take me for be a close minded rude person. that was NOT my intention. after i read the comments from mothers who bf toddlers my state of mind was not that these mothers are wrong. i only wanted to know how they comfortable doing it in our world and why they do it to comfort their children. i'm all for bf past 1yo if you are comfortable with it and if its for a nutritionally based reason. personally i don't think its appropriate to continue bf for comfort for the child. obviously just because i feel that way doesnt make mothers who do it for that reason wrong. no can i stop you. america is thankfully a free country and thus you are free to do as you wish. i also don't feel i'm a bad person or a rude person because i have that opinion.

i know that my fiance feels like most of the other people in america who think its "wrong" or "gross" to bf a toddler, along with every one of my family and friends. knowing the FACTS has also opened my mind even more. who knows what the future will hold for my bf experience. maybe i'll continue to bf well past the 14mo mark and maybe i won't.

Laura Zoey - posted on 12/29/2010

That's why we try to change our country.
I bf in public and hope people notice, I want to normalize it. I want young girls to see that this is normal natural and beautiful.
If my whole family was against it I wouldn't quit. I couldn't short change my son out of normal just cuz it's hard emotionally on me to take the heat.
I couldn't allow a child in Africa to have a better start in life then my son here in America.
I want Eric to have every blessing he can and I know breastfeeding is one big blessing to him as a child.
We are strong women! Even though some judge us wrongly, or misinterpret our actions we know breastfeeding is best for our babies and kids so we don't have to deny them.
I think you have an open mind, but you just need that strong firm backbone that drives us to say, who cares what they think!the children come first!
I hope you can continue to breastfeed as long as you would in an ideal world, the young years are the only times we can give our children the benefit of a pure world :)

Codie - posted on 12/29/2010

thank you, miss emily wahl. it seems that you are one of the very few who understand that i'm simply trying to understand all aspects of the bf debate, while also trying to decide what i feel is best for both my baby and for myselft. i did come into this with an open mind and i must say that i have changed my mind slightly. i would like to make it to 14mo. at 1yo children do still seem to be babies. i'm not sure where between 1yr and 2yo i dont consider them babies anymore.

i also dont feel that i am judging anyone here. yes i asked the question and yes i got some very good answers. but my second post was only to point out that in my opinion while bf up to 2 or more years is beneficial nutriciously and on an immunity basais, it isnt neccisary for comfort past 6 months. thats why its recommended you take pacifiers away at 6mo. after that soothe sucking is only comforting out of a devloped habbit. not out of a need to be soothed only satisfied by sucking.

i met comfort sucking needs for son with bf until the day he turned 6mo. now i only bf him when he's hungry. if its comfort he seeks, he gets it through my immediate attention to him. he stops crying and smiles usually when i talk to him and always when i pick him up. no sucking needed.
i dont think mothers who continue bf well into toddlerhood are wrong nor am i trying to convice anyone that it is. i believe the problem lies with american society. prolonged bf isnt accepted in todays america. if we lived in a country where it was more widely accepted i probably would bf through the toddler years.
my fiance, family, and friends wouldnt be comfortable with or accept a decision like that. how do your children's fathers, family, and friends react to your decision to bf your toddlers?
when my baby was 1-3mo, i got enough rude looks to bf in public...even though my baby and i were both completely covered. i've since given up nursing in public.

Kathleen - posted on 12/29/2010

It's my understanding that the benefit of breast milk never decreases over time, so continuing to breastfeed is beneficial however long (or short) you choose to do it.

I've nursed all three of my children for different amounts of time. My oldest nursed until he was 19 months old. I was pregnant with #2 and my body just stopped making milk. I hadn't planned to breast feed past a year old because that's what the American Academy of Pediatrics suggested, but I wasn't opposed to it either. He was EXTREMELY attached to the breast, so weaning him was a nightmare and I just decided that it wasn't necessary to put us all through. He also had trouble sleeping on his own because of severe reflux when he was a baby keeping him from being able to sleep without nursing & being snuggled for security...then it became a very hard habit to break once the reflux was treated. (He adjusted pretty well when we explained to him that I didn't make milk any more though!) Nursing him until 19 months wasn't such a big deal, but he also had boundaries. He was NOT allowed to just help himself. He had to tell me he was hungry and we would go somewhere private. (Partially for our own time and partially so HE wouldn't get distracted by other stuff.) If I had nursed him any longer those same rules would've continued. I don't understand how moms deal with toddlers helping themselves either. :-)

I nursed my second until 5 1/2 months when she wasn't gaining weight because my supply was so low. This was very unusual since my supply was INSANE with the first, but it turned out to be from Mirena. (Turns out, it DOES affect your supply if you're as sensitive to hormones as I am!) So, by the time I was able to get the thing removed my supply had dwindled so much I couldn't get my daughter to nurse and pumping did NOT work for me. Soooo, by about 8 months she was exclusively formula fed.

My third child, now about to be 4 months old, nursed exclusively for 2 weeks and then started getting a bottle along with nursing. I also pumped as much milk as possible so he could continue getting breast milk when I stopped nursing to start taking ADHD medication. (It was a hard decision, but I ultimately felt that my children would benefit more from a functional mommy than a year's supply of breast milk.)

All of this being said, every woman, child, and situation is different. I'm sure plenty of women would look down on me choosing not to exclusively breast feed when I technically can, meaning no problems with supply as long as I stay away from birth control...but you have to figure out what works for you and your child. I don't think we'll ever fully understand each others' decisions because we all think so differently. The most important thing is to find out what you & your child need the most and be confident in your decision!

Good for you for breastfeeding & best wishes!!

Sarah - posted on 12/29/2010

It is funny how when people usually start out by saying that they don't want to be rude - it usually means they are about to be rude. Codie, you have crossed the line into “rudes-ville.” I can tell that you are a rather irrational person who is very judgmental. I am sorry I offered you my help in the first place. You obviously did not listen to what we were saying and had your mind made up in the beginning.

Celeste - posted on 12/29/2010

You don't want to nurse past 1? Don't. We choose to nurse past one. You asked the questions, and we gave you plenty of reasons, that are scientific/medical based facts on why it's beneficial to continue nursing.

Noreen - posted on 12/29/2010

Well said Laura!

Rhiannon - posted on 12/29/2010

I have three children, two girls and a boy. My girls are 7 and 5 and my son is 19months old. I breastfed all of them. They didn't get sick as often or as serious as other babies I knew that weren't being breastfed, when my kids did get sick and wouldn't eat or drink anything they would breastfeed off of me and it would make them feel better which I was thankful for. Also, I love the bonding of that...how much more closer can a mother get to her kids other than breastfeeding? I breastfed my daughters up till they were a year and a half....I'm still breastfeeding my 19month old son. He onlly eats from me early in the morning when he wakes up and comes into bed with me...he used to pull my shirt up but recently either when he wants to eat from me or in the kitchen for cereal....he sticks his tongue out...its so cute. I think whenever a child shows less interest in breastfeeding than it's a good way to stop but I think if I was still breastfeeding my 8yr old that would be really really awkward!!

Dawnelle - posted on 12/29/2010

also see La Leche League's website on self-weaning on the benefits of extended breast feeding..... www.llli.org

Jenn - posted on 12/29/2010

I know for me that I love breastfeeding my child. I feel much closer and I think she feels better as well. My first born only breastfed for 9months and stopped on her own. My second doesnt seem to want to give it up at all. She only eats 3-4 times in a 24 hour period but its enough to make us both feel better. As for cow's milk, there is alot of misunderstood information about it. My girls right now barely have any at all since cow's milk is made for cow's it would be like giving cat's milk to a child, its not made for them. We as humans do not need Milk to live, it does not even have the right vitamin in it or enough of it. They have to add things to the cow's milk to make it so it is some what ok for us to drink. When they say it is hormone free is it really? do you really think they could take all the hormones out of our milk, i think not. I grew up on milk and yes i like it but that doesnt mean its good for me lol. I also respect anyones choice as to what they give there child, it is your baby and you know what is right for them. I hope I was not being rude or anything just stating the facts. I think when your baby wants to stop breastfeeding your baby will let you know. Good luck :)

Laura Zoey - posted on 12/29/2010

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detthumb.h...

Pertaining to sucking needs



Maybe the psychological need to suck to soothe does disappear at 6 months, meaning if the baby is younger then 6 months they could be psychologically harmed from being denied sucking to soothe.

But just because their brain can tolerate not sucking at 6 months, doesn't mean they won't be emotionally harmed by being denied sucking.

Please post something about this 6 month suck need stuff.

But all I can assume is that prior to 6 months you could damage their brain from denying sucking, but after 6 months their brain can handle comfort in other manners.

But hey, we don't get brain damage from not having a hug when we cry, but we still emotionally benifiting from a hug!

Laura Zoey - posted on 12/29/2010

If the need to suck disappeared at 6 months then no baby would be fighting to keep their pacifiers, bottles, thumbs, boobs, etc.

Babies are instinctually guided, they don't really desire much that they don't need. Sure a wire or cord looks fun to play with and they don't need it, but they do need to play. So really anything a baby does is rooted in a need.



If you wean when your son learns to walk you could have to supplement with formula.

My son was walking at 9 months so had I weaned him then he would have needed formula.

Now while formula is a great resource to those babies who can not breastfeed, it is quite inferior when compared to real human breastmilk.

Now I'm not saying formula is bad per say, but to wean a baby onto formula from the breast for no medical reason does seem truly unfair health wise.

And at a year a baby is usually capable of tolerating cows milk, not all, some are quite negatively affected by cows milk even at a year.

And truly, any milk other then our species milk is a big step down for our kids health.

Do I drink breastmilk? Not usually, but if I have a sore throat I do, and if I was able to buy human milk at the grocery store I would definitely choose that over cows milk! Yes absolutely yes.

But honestly, adults do not need to drink milk, we are the only species who drinks milk past weaning age. And we only do so because dairy farmers can afford to sell it cheaply and it's a quick fix for calcium.

But personally I dislike cows milk in taste, and have not drank it since I was about 6.

Societies around the world don't all drink milk either, honestly if we all got our calcium from leafy greens instead of cows milk we all would be a healthier society.



So I'll add in as well that I intended on breastfeeding for a year. But when he was 10 months I was shocked at how wrong it felt to try to do the weaning techniques in my books.

I found a lll meeting and talked to the leader and found out that one year really isn't that end date we all think it is. I found kellymom.com and kathydetwyler.org and dresses.com and found out some real facts.

Now, believe it or not I am all on board with breastfeeding Eric just as long as he needs it.

And when will I cut him off? Well I think if he continues to want it past about 4,5,6,7 years I will be in open discussion with hum as to why he likes it, why he needs it, why he doesn't want to stop. He will be able to explain his feelings and needs and I can address it any way I think is appropriate.

I can't tell you when I would cut him off, because I never would. I would speak with him and make a decision together as to when to stop.



He may be my child but I respect his rights and I know it's his right to have breastmilk as long as he needs it. Emotions are a need, so even if he eats a full diet at 4, but still needs some one on one breastfeeding time I will not ignore his emotional needs.

Sure kids can bond by rocking, reading, cuddling, etc but we are mammals, we also are designed to breastfeed. I'm not one to try to change his genetic makeup, I have boobs with milk in them and the only reason I do is because of his needs. Now if he was 5 and I dried up, I would think that his time was done, or almost done. But odds are when he is 5 I will have a 3 yr old, and a 1 year old also breastfeeding so I would still have milk, but he will likely wean when number three is born. Or at least only ask once a day.



I think the special bond spoken about comes from your child knowing that no matter what happens, mom will never push them away.

Mom will never force them into doing something that hurts them, emotionally or physically.

It's about the permanent trust set up by meeting your childs needs and never asking too much of them.

That's the special bond you cant repair after loosing their trust. It's that ingrained belief in their minds that no matter what happens, mom is always there for them. And making them wean at a time where they aren't ready will put a hole in that trust.

REBECCA - posted on 12/29/2010

My daugther is 22mth old and I'm still bf her, I know it is good for her. I am going to BF her till she is ready too stop.

My son refused the breast at 5mths, and wouldn't take it any more even from a bottle, so I had no choice with him. But I have seen the def between their health. If he get a cold or something my son will take heaps longer too get over it, than my daugther that is still bf. So I say BF as long as you can, the longer the better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO BREASTFEEDERS, WE ARE SO STRONG!!

Tiffany - posted on 12/28/2010

My son is 21 months old and is still breastfed. I, like you, planned to stop at one year. One year came and went...we are still bf. My son has 3 meals, 2 snacks a day and plenty of water,milk and juice. He BF at nap/bed time or when he is hurt and needing comfort. It is my son's comfort. Where he feels safe and secure. I see no problem with it. Yes, he does ask for it or come over and try to help himself, but I see nothing wrong with that. What psychological problems will he have? none. unless you call feeling safe and secure a problem. He is used to this..how would it affect him if I just tore it away one day?! He has lessened the amount of times that he nurses each day and I believe that he will stop when he is ready. He is becoming more independent and he will need me less. You said you weren't trying to be hurtful, but your comment is kind of rude. If you don't want to you don't have to do it. You say you are trying to educate yourself from our responses, but then you commented that you have already done research here and there. Why do you need us? so you have someone to argue with? I am sorry,, but these topics are a little edgy for me. Good luck!

Teresa - posted on 12/28/2010

I do have an additional comment on the need to suck being done at 6 months. From my own personal experience w/ my kids.... that just isn't true. W/ my girls.... they didn't care what was in their mouths... boob, finger, binky, bottle, toy, sister's toes (yep, got that one on video even).... they were VERY mouthy as babies and it lasted to some extent up to and even past their early school years.

My son was mouthy too, but he was very particular... my nipple or nothing. And he was still nursing several times a day (he's 2 years 9 months) up until Sunday when he went w/ his dad til Saturday. Not sure if he will want to nurse again when he gets home and not sure I'll let him or not. I know I won't initiate it when he returns, but I don't have a problem w/ continuing if he wants to.

Tiffany - posted on 12/28/2010

I only breastfed until my daughter was 3 months, I had my own personal reasons for needing to stop. I wish I had breastfed longer though to be honest. Our next baby I will breastfeed at least for the first year. I think anyone who makes it to a year, is awesome. Making it to 2 years, is wonderful. After 2 years, I personally would start to wean because I feel personally that it can be confusing to children after that point. BUT, I do believe it is a personal choice for each Mom. If you feel you need or want to stop at a year, then that's up to you. I do think the nutritional benefits are great (they last as long as you breastfeed) and if it's something you want to do then keep going with it..and if not, that's okay too. Do what is best for you and your family just as everyone here is doing what's best for them and their family.

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 12/28/2010

The other moms covered it, but you can answer your own question. Do you know 15, 18, 20 year olds that still nurse? I would guess no. A child will outgrow the need to nurse. If you breastfeed for 6 months, one year, two years or more; the benefits of breastfeeding will last your child forever. So no, I don't drink breast milk anymore. I weaned a long time ago, but I do use breast milk frequently to heal cuts, scrapes, burns, etc. on myself and my daughter. As for the sucking, I sucked my thumb until I was almost 5. I have a feeling that if my mom practiced extended breastfeeding that I would've nursed that long. Personally, I would rather my child nurse and get the great benefits then just sucking a thumb. I remember thinking one day, "I don't want to suck my thumb anymore." That's pretty much how older toddlers/children wean. They slowly outgrow the need. So the need to suck doesn't go away at six months either. Your choice is your choice and I'm sure you will do what you feel is best for your family. I'm content with my decision to nurse my daughter even though I keep hearing comments like these. I understand that breastfeeding beyond a year does not work for every family, but it's what works best for MY family.

Stephanie - posted on 12/28/2010

Codie, you seem to be judging alot of mothers here. We do not judge you if you want to stop when your baby starts walking.
No we do not drink breastmilk ourselves, we are talking about babies here, who it is beneficial to until 2 years old and even beyond. You never hear of an 18 year old nursing, come on now! If you don't believe sucking is needed past 6 months than you can stop past 6 months, why do you care what everyone else is doing? we are not sitting here saying why would you stop that early?

Teresa - posted on 12/28/2010

Codie, if you don't want to do it don't, but don't knock those that do. You asked for reasons why and you got them. You won't convince those of us that nurse past a year that we are wrong any more than I can tell we won't convince you of the same. Either way, is a choice that deserves respect.

Emily - posted on 12/28/2010

Codie,

First I wanted to say that I can relate to your initial emotions at nursing past one. I felt the exact same way when my baby was that little. This emotion is normal considering the fact that we are used to seeing the norms of our culture. Something that helped me is finding out that in many other cultures, and throughout most of history, children were considered babies for first few years of their lives. This ranged to as old as 6 or 7 in some countries. I don't think that there is really a fixed age that they are no longer babies. Instead is a gradual process that takes several years as they gradually learn independence and communication skills. This also roughly corresponds to their level of physical development. Their immune systems are not fully developed until age 7, and correct me if I am wrong, but I think that is the age that most kids get their "adult"teeth as well. This helped me to understand the whole extended nursing thing, because my real hang-up was the feeling that only "babies" should nurse. I didn't realize how much of a baby a 2 or a 3 year old really is.

I still wasn't sure if I really wanted to go that long until I got to about 10 months old, and I realized that my baby was no where near old enough to wean. It makes more sense once you experience it. Now my son is almost 2 1/2 and I am actually starting to see weaning in our future. He has easily and effortlessly gone down to nursing 2-3 times a day, and will skip nursing to read books with Daddy occasionally. I figure we will probably be done sometime between now and when he turns 3, but I don't worry about it.

Another thing to understand is that it is not either wean your kid at 1 or just sit and wait till they're 6. It is perfectly ok to meet somewhere in the middle. After all, nursing is a relationship between 2 people, and you are one of those people. When I decided that I wanted to nurse less, I stopped offering as often. I believe that if he had needed it more often he would have put up a fuss, but instead he took it really well. He continued to ask at nap times and whenever he had a particularly bad owie.

There are some who decide to nurse into toddlerhood that seem like they are letting their kid be the one in charge. This is not always the case though. I nurse my son because I know that it is what he needs. If he asks sometime that I don't feel he needs it, I feel perfectly comfortable saying no to him.

Remember that you are the mom, and if you choose to nurse your child, it is not because your kid made you do it, it is because you knew that it was valuable for him and made a wise decision.

Becky - posted on 12/28/2010

There are actually studies on whether extended breastfeeding causes psychological damage on the child, and there are absolutely none that suggest that it does. The child can not be forced to nurse, they still want and need to if they're still going.

Without trying to be rude, because I'm just curious, why must you ask why everyone is still nursing their children or planning to?

http://mothering.com/jennifermargulis/br...

Noreen - posted on 12/28/2010

Codie- First of all, the natural world wide age for natural self weaning is about 4yrs old. A child can not be forced to nurse.

Second of all, I plan on nursing my daughter until she is ATLEAST 2. Like I posted before, babies need high milk fat in their diet until they are atleast 2. Breastmilk is the BEST option for that. Expecially since my daughter has a severe allergy to diary. So bad infact that even I can not have diary in my diet because it will pass through my breastmilk. She is allergic to the cow milk protein.

I don't know if you are familiar with the WHO (worlds heath organization) but they recommend nursing until 2yrs of age. Which is what I am going to do.

With out trying to be rude, what is your hang up with me nursing my 15month old?? Why does it matter to you? Who cares if I nurse her until she is past 3. Its my daughter and our life. How does it affect you?

Codie - posted on 12/28/2010

yes, i got wrong information about the immunities. i've read every comment and i have a few more light bulbs going off:
-do you all drink breast milk yourselves? i'm going to guess that's a no but, your all healthy and getting all the nutrition you need as long as you eat right.
-so when will you stop if child doesnt stop on their own? 5? 8? 10? 18? obviously there has to be a cut off date for your child or there will be psychological dammage to the child.
-yes i'm still bf my 6mo but he has had a cold already, when he was just 3mo. so i personally don't agree that breastmilk is the miricle for keeping a child or infant from getting sick. it may help, but it can't completely prevent.
-there are certainly other times i bond with my baby other than bf. for instance just playing with him. a 1+ baby will also enjoy just holding and rocking without sucking.
-i also don't personally believe that sucking needs to be the form of comfort for hurting, upset, or stressed child. the need to suck to soothe DOES stop at 6mo. i got that information from Healthy Families.

Kristin - posted on 12/28/2010

I think the other mom's have covered it pretty well. I applaud your educating yourself in this topic. I nursed my first until he was 14 months, when he decided he was done. My second nursed until 18 months. Again, he decided he was done. My third is now six months and I plan to nurse him as long as we both want to nurse. I will go as long as possible to help prevent of reduce allergies in them that I have.

My thought on the length of time is to do what is best for the both of you. If you are ready to be done, then stop. If your baby is ready to be done, then stop.

Vanessa - posted on 12/28/2010

As i'm sure many other moms have stated, you are misinformed about how long the immunities in your breastmilk last. Breastmilk continues to be a source or nourishment and immunities for as long as you are breastfeeding.

Not just that, but also a source of comfort.

If you are interested in learning more, i'd suggest you simply google for valid information about nursing past 1 year. I don't know where you got your information that breastfeeding doesn't provide immunity support past 6 months, but it was totally bogus.



To add to the kellymom and LLL links that have already been posted, here's 1 more, http://breastfeeding.hypermart.net/nurse...



Also, i wanted to point out that my two year old doesn't walk up and lift my shirt unless she's being playful. She will ask for it. We started working on 'nursing manners' when she became a toddler.

As for nursing being weird once a child can ask, babies "ask" to nurse from birth, maybe not with actual words, but with cues, signs and (if need be) crying. I don't see a difference between that type of communicating they are in need of something and them being able to verbalize that need.



For the short, simple answer on why do i do it?

It's not because "they" recommend it, or because "they"think i should, I continued to breastfeed past a year and well into two because it was what felt right for me and my child.My milk continues to provide for my two year old the comfort and immunities as it did when she was an infant.Breastfeeding also helps during toddler tantrums, when they just aren't sure of..well..anything. Breastfeeding is an important source of reassurance and emotional support. I figured if i could do something that's healthy and soothing for my toddler, why shouldn't I?

Emily - posted on 12/28/2010

I only planned to bf for one year, but we hit that one year mark and Kai still wants to nurse! I suppose I thought he would magically decide to give it up on his own but that is so not the case. We only bf for comfort. Kai is 15 months old and eats everything! He only nurses when he's upset, having a bad teething day and right before bed. I'm ok with this. Don't think I'd still like him doing this when he is 2, but who knows, that's what I thought about 1! Thanks for all the info everyone

Sarah - posted on 12/28/2010

Do what feels right for you. My son is 16 months and I still breastfeed often. Besides all of the wonderfully valid points the mothers below have made, as a full time working mother, I cherish the bonding time we have when he is nursing. I know some people may think it is creepy or whatever, but we both still enjoy it and it is benifiting us both. I don't see a problem. If I was not happy about it or if he was no longer wanting to, I would stop. But I plan to continue as long as it feels right for us. When he was born I said I wanted to make it to a year. I have removed all expiration dates or milestones that will put a stop to this time for us. I figure we will know when it is time to stop. In short, just do what you feel is right...always.

Becky - posted on 12/28/2010

http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/if-they...

Also, you should research more on extended breastfeeding.. It may be culturally the norm in the US to stop breastfeeding at 6 months or sometimes up to a year but the benefits don't go away. The baby's needs may change, but it is still an amazing resource. Even as a supplementary feeding method instead of a main one.

A baby will wean when they no longer need the breast. I won't put a time line on it.

Theresa - posted on 12/28/2010

I bf my daughter until she was 21 1/2 months old. I bf this long because there was a strong emotional bond built through doing this. She didn't require it for nutrition, I'll agree there. She was eating plenty on her own. But emotionally, it was something she still needed. I ended at that time because she was leaving blisters on my nipples and it was no longer enjoyable. It was a rough 2-3 wks for us but it would've happened by her 2nd bday anyway. I would not have been comfortable bf past that point anyway.

Vicki - posted on 12/28/2010

What they all said :)

My reasons for breastfeeding past a year include everything mentioned above but mostly because it is the biological norm for our species. What is the difference between and 11 month old and a 12 month old? What does walking have to do with breastfeeding? There's no reason to set arbritrary limits, whether age or milestone. We just need to trust the instincts of children and mothers and ignore the societal and capitalist pressure. Cows milk is not designed for humans at all, it's for calves, so how can it be more normal for a toddler to drink it rather than human milk.

OP I hope you find this thread useful. I would be interested in your response to the information that has been provided.

Tine - posted on 12/28/2010

Good on you for educating yourself :-)

I am still feeding my 2 year old daughter, and feel not only confortable with it, but very happy that I am providing for her needs and continuing to connect with her and nurture her in a completely natural and normal way.

Your information is simply incorrect. The benefits of breastfeeding, both physical and emotional, continue for as long as you continue to feed. The immune system does not really work properly by itself until we are about 6 years old, and breastmilk contains important immune factors for the whole time that you feed. Research show that the benefits of breastfeeding in terms of long term health and brain development are dose - related - that means that the longer you feed, the more benefits your child gets. The World Health Organisation recommends feeding for at least 2 years.

Cow's milk and formula are NOT the same as breastmilk, not even close! Cow's milk is the perfect food for young cows, it contains growth hormones and proteins that cows need, but it is not very good for humans at all. Formula is very hit and miss, and very much second best.

There is a fabulous book called 'Mothering Your Nursing Toddler' by Norma Jean Bumgardner which is wonderful - it totally normalises longer term feeding, and made me realise how very important it is.

I'm really enjoying still feeding my daughter, and certainly don't find it remotely odd or embarrassing; I am simply doing what is normal and healthy for little people. She is starting to naturally feed less, some days she goes all day without feeding. The past few days I have been very glad to be still feeding her, as her 2 year old molars are coming through and boob has been the best way to comfort and nourish a very unhappy toddler!

I respect you for educating yourself! I suggest just keeping an open mind on how long you feed your baby - I intended to feed for one year, but when I informed myself, and followed my daughter's needs, I felt very happy with continuing to feed her until she weans more naturally.

Debbie - posted on 12/28/2010

I'm currently breastfeeding my 8 week old daughter, the youngest of my 5 children. I fed her brother until he was 2 yrs & 3 months old - at which time I was 5 months pregnant. Having not bf any of my older 3 children past 6 months (they are all teens now & I had them in my early 20s) I didn't plan on bf my son past 1 year, but a year came along and he had other ideas - he knew better than me! It's the same in the UK for pressure from society not to bf past a year, or even once solid foods are introduced. As my son refused milk in bottles, cups or anything else we tried, would only be comforted & settle by being bf - as I think should be the case - I continued to feed him. But always at the back of my mind, and sometimes nearer the front, was the thought that I shouldn't 'still' be breastfeeding.

I think it is pressure from society that made me feel that way as my heart and instincts told me that holding my boy and giving him my milk was the most natural and beautiful thing in the world.

When I fell pregnant I decided that he would be off the breast before the baby was born, it was another 4 months after finding out I was pregnant that he gave up his breastfeeding and this was a gradual process, helped by ny husband taking over at bedtime so it was a first feed in the mornings was the last to go, and my son made his own mind up on that.

I had heard that breastmilk can change in taste midway in pregnancy, so whether it was this or he'd have self weaned at that age anyway I don't know. But looking back now I feel I pushed him towards weaning off the breast and feel incredibly sad that he no longer feeds from me and that time has passed, even though I am early on the breastfeeding road with my baby daughter.

I feel that I spent a lot of the time breastfeeding him thinking that I shouldn't 'still' be doing it rather than enjoying the incredibly special time fully - and it is that which 8 regret and feel sad about now. Since stopping feeding my son has continued to ask for 'booby cuddle' as a form of comfort and I am doing nothing to discourage that at this stage. I will bf my daughter for as long as she wants.

Having older children has taught me that they grow up so fast, make the most of every little moment and don't try to make then grow up too fast.