breastfeeding toddler

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 07/13/2010

Please read this thread in Breastfeeding Moms:
http://www.circleofmoms.com/breastfeedin...

We do not allow debates about the age of weaning. What works for you may not work for another mom and vice versa. This community is for breastfeeding SUPPORT. Please keep this in mind while posting.

Thank you,
Sara
Admin

Minnie - posted on 07/13/2010

The reason for this thread was the OP wondering if the doctor had any credibility in telling her it was time to wean her child.



Saying "children past age one (or two, or when they can talk, walk, stand on their heads, etc.) shouldn't be breastfed because I say so" makes a poster no more credible than the doctor in question.



Please come up with something that makes an attempt at logic.

Lisbeth - posted on 07/13/2010

Yeah Kim we sort of got that from your last post, your against it but do you have any really reasons why proof it will harm the toddler or is it just b/c breast are so overly sexualized that it grosses you out?

Kim - posted on 07/12/2010

i personally don't think you should breast feed after 2 yrs of age.

Elena - posted on 07/12/2010

Do what you feel is right - I am totally going through this right now! I would totally ditch your doctor if they are pressuring you in to it -- this is your decision, no one else's. If you want to be done, be done - she'll stop with the crying eventually. I slowly cut down to 2 feedings a day, then went out of town with the hubby and left the baby with grandma for 2 nights. When I came back she still was asking for "boobie." She cried some and had a temper tantrum or two. Tomorrow it will be seven days. She still crawls in to my lap and says "boobie," but now I can look at her and say "we're not doing that anymore," and she kind of moves on. I offer her juice, milk, or a snack just to make sure that's not the problem. We're getting there! It has been physically and emotionally/hormonally taxing on me, as well. I had to decide it was the right time for ME. Otherwise, there's no way to get through it!

Wendy - posted on 07/12/2010

Honey- I wouldn't worry at all about nursing her. It is TOTALLY up to you and your daughter. Don't you worry about what others think. This is a personal decision. No one person-or doctor or friend or whoever can make this decision for you. Do what your heart tells you. Good luck! Take care!!

Ashley - posted on 07/12/2010

Hi I just thought I would let you know that your not alone. My daughter will be two next month in August and she is still breastfeeding too. I know how are it is because I am really trying and stessed because I never get enough sleep because she still wakes up all night for it and I do it because I love her. Plus dont listen to your dr do what you want. It is not hurting her or u and she will give it up when she is ready? Plus I love the bond that we and I have because of that and she is a mommys girl. Do what you think is best and that is my advise. Your dr does not have to live with you or hear the crying lol. Good Luck sounds like we both need it...LOL

Selma - posted on 07/12/2010

Breastfeeding is not something that a family doctor needs to be involved in. It is not a medical process and at 2 1/2 your daughter is nursing more for comfort than for nourishment.
I have 3 kids and breastfed the oldest (now 18) until she was 3, my middle child (now 9) until he was 4 and I am still breastfeedig my 3 year old. I also co-slept with the older 2 and still co-sleep with the 3 year old. Just tonight while she lay in her toddler bed next to mine she decided she was a big girl and didn't need to nurse and could sleep in her bed. So we lay there each in or own bed than she said decided she wasn't so big after all, came and cuddled and nursed to sleep.
My older 2 kids are happy, well-adjusted kids who turned out great even though they co-slept and nursed well passed the usual age. So dont' worry - you and your little will know when it is time.

Kirsten Veronica - posted on 07/12/2010

Well done Mongolians!

Minnie - posted on 07/12/2010

And since there are so many people in the USA at least barely making it six months, there must be a LOT of children breastfeeding even longer than 4 years 9 months

The lovely people of Mongolia have one of the longest durations of breastfeeding: most children are nursed past five years and many up to nine years. They believe that being breastfed for a long time makes for good wrestlers :).

Kirsten Veronica - posted on 07/12/2010

Absolutely Laura!

Laura Zoey - posted on 07/12/2010

I think once you learn all there is to know about breastfeeding you literally HAVE to spread the word. Its like our duty to tell everyone what you know so that every baby might have equal opportunities :)
We all are passionate about every baby being happy and healthy and loved :)

Lisbeth - posted on 07/12/2010

Thank you.

Kirsten Veronica - posted on 07/12/2010

Well said Lisbeth. :)

Lisbeth - posted on 07/12/2010

Lisa, Laura, and Kristen- you guys made my day, put a huge smile on my face, you guys are exactly what this world needs.
Charley- I am sorry again that you had to stop breast feeding your child maybe just maybe if you were able to breast feed past three months ( which are quite difficult and painful and over whelming b/c baby needs you so much) you could see the beauty we see in breast feeding our toddlers and kids. I suggest you do research on breast feeding to full term to try and understand our love of breast feeding and why we go so deep. Don't judge us b/c we like you are just trying to give our kids the best that we can. As mothers we should support each other when we are doing the best we can not put each other down. So in that regards I apologize if anything I said offended you but I am trying to do everything I can for my daughter and get defensive when I feel my choice is bashed by someone who didn't do research or isn't an expert.

Minnie - posted on 07/12/2010

Just trying to educate, Charley. Just trying to educate.



I imagine that my girls will turn out quite smart, with all that good breast milk past age four and the unschooling. Then they can grow up and impart that knowledge to their own children.



Changing the world. One tot at a time.

Laura Zoey - posted on 07/12/2010

Its only what is natural. I am trying to teach myself the very best methods of parenting and one of those happens to be full term nursing. I want to be able to say that I am doing everything I can to work towards the best parenting possible. I know I am not going to be perfect but nursing past 1 year is an easy simple way to perfect my parenting skills.
Now I am learning that nursing past 1 can help in almost every other aspect of parenting.
Like keeping tantrums down
Making bed time simple and sweet
Keeping a good bond with my son
Not going through a picky eater phase
Staying away from all of the childhood illnesses that are passed around
Etc
With all of the benifits of full term nursing, I couldnt imagine stopping prematurely. (by prematurely I mean before my specific child is ready)
Eric can only benifit from nursing, there is no risk of anything bad so why wouldnt I keep at it?

Kirsten Veronica - posted on 07/12/2010

What's "to deep?" We are simply trying to provide our children the best nutrition and nurturing we can, as nature intended, for as long as possible? With everything in this post modern world being processed and depersonalized, and disease becoming the reality instead of the exception, what is wrong with trying to go back to listening to our children and our bodies?

Charley - posted on 07/12/2010

good god yall go to deep into it

Laura Zoey - posted on 07/12/2010

Eric asked for the boob the first day he was born. His language improves day to day so I dont think I will punnish him for learning new things. I am glad he can communicate with me.

My boob is designed for him to eat from so that is what I will use it for. And when he asks to eat it is a blessing that he is so smart. Whats wrong with that? I use my lips to kiss him and when he can ask for a kiss then should i refuse? If he asks for a hug once he turns 4 should i say no?.

Kirsten Veronica - posted on 07/12/2010

The baby asks for the boob right after being born, by crying. Eventually they learn language, either sign or verbal, and are able to express their desires more clearly and with less distress, which personally I believe is a great benefit to the breastfeeding relationship.

And the average age of weaning of human children, in the world, is 4 years and nine months. And since there are so many people in the USA at least barely making it six months, there must be a LOT of children breastfeeding even longer than 4 years 9 months. And since there aren't groups of people complaining about their mothers breastfeeding them too long, I'm going to postulate that those children grow up just fine.

And I'm also hoping to home school and breastfeed as long as possible. I want my daughter to be even healthier than I am and this is one of the best ways I can help her with that.

Charley - posted on 07/12/2010

yea they start prek and then kendergarden at 4 someone of u talk about breast feeding at four i think when ur kid can ask for the boob it should stop

Laura Zoey - posted on 07/12/2010

they can nurse when they come home from kindergarten.
And before they go in the morning, and on the weekends and holidays.
Or for me, I will homeschool so I will be my childrens teacher.
(I dont trust others to teach my children)
And its also not up for argument whether or not its ok to nurse past one as a child weaned before age two is at
"an increase risk of illness"so its either nurse until 2 or realize that your child is at increase illness. according to the health organizations who do years of research on this.

Oh and also, you arent in kindergarten at age 13months so I think there is plenty of time between 1 year and kindergarten to wean if child feels ready.

Kirsten Veronica - posted on 07/12/2010

What? Of course it's fine to breastfeed after age one! The WHO (World Health Organization) actually recommends it until age two-years-old. And as far as I recall I believe children go to kindegarden at 3 or 4? When it is also okay to still be breastfeeding along with a balanced diet of solids. The benefits to breast milk and breastfeeding do not all of a sudden disappear at the first birthday and there is a lot of evidence that it is greatly beneficial to breastfeed a toddler.

Charley - posted on 07/12/2010

omg its fine for you to nurse ur baby until age one but after that no what are all of u going to go to kindergarden with them and nurse them

Minnie - posted on 07/12/2010

*Oh-em-GEE*- Charley- my HUMAN daughters nurse from my HUMAN breasts! WHAT is this world coming to? I'm sure I've messed them up for life- they'll probably grow up to be ax-murderers or something...or at least end up on Jerry Springer...

Lisbeth - posted on 07/12/2010

Lisa- You rock I hope my little girl is still breast feeding at four and hopefully longer.

Lisbeth - posted on 07/12/2010

Charley- sorry you had to stop but just so you know when a child breast feeds the saliva activates the glades in side the breast that produce the antibiotics that are so good for your breast feed toddler it is not the same if you pump. Yeah If I saw a kid sucking on a cows tit I would say omg but not if I saw a Calf sucking on the cows tit so why would I say omg when I see a kid sucking on a mothers tit?
P.S. pumping also makes you produce less milk.

Charley - posted on 07/12/2010

Lisbeth Roca i nursed my baby until my milk dryed up which was 3 mths and if you seen a kid sucking on a cow boob wouldnt you say omg look at that well in the same since if i seen a HUMAN nursing a toddler over one im going to say omg im not saying not give them breast milk just pump and put it in a bottle

Laura Zoey - posted on 07/12/2010

yay Lisa! I bet your 4 year old is the happiest one on the block :)

Minnie - posted on 07/11/2010

I'm nursing a 21 month old and -gasp- my four year old occasionally nurses too- at the same time! Oh, the horrors!



To the OP- why does your doctor think it's time to stop? Is there a significant medical reason? Doctors are trained to diagnose and treat ILLNESS. They aren't trained to peddle parenting advice and their personal opinions.

Laura Zoey - posted on 07/11/2010

Christina Day. yes Id love it for Eric to remember nursing. EVERY single child who has remembered it that i have heard of is happy with the fond memories. all comments are sweet and most say how yummy it was. yes boys too. there can not be anything wrong with what we are designed to do. nursing past 4 is the norm. as the average weaning age is 4.4 and with america weaning at unimaginable shrot ages, you know there has to be a TON of kids older then 4 to balance out the average from all the babies in USA.
and Kim, a two year old eating from a bottle is much more disturbing then a 2 year old nursing. at least nursing is natural....and wont wreck your teeth.

Amanda - posted on 07/11/2010

I am so relieved to see so many supportive posts here for you and your daughter. I, too, believe that you should make the decision to wean. I cannot imagine breastfeeding to be detrimental to her health. In fact, I think it is quite great for toddlers. I would suggest looking for a new pediatrician.

Leah - posted on 07/11/2010

From everything I learned the best vitamins and nutrients is in your milk. Your milk changes based on your child's needs. So i woul keep going until she wants to top as long as it doesn't bother you.

Kim - posted on 07/11/2010

o ok i didn't know that's what you meant by 'misinformed".....

also i think it's the mother right to stop nursing at 2 yrs...of course the child is going to cry but it's not because they are not nursing it's because of course they are hungry. they can and will learn that they can and will eat other ways besides nursing.......IE from bottles,spoons.

Marilyn - posted on 07/11/2010

You are right If someone chooses to stop nursing then their body stops producing milk but it is the choice of that person to stop. When my children stopped nursing it was not a stressful time at all the were ready to be done and phased it out on their own. When a child screams and cries to nurse it should be a signal that they are not ready to stop. And despite what you may think there are many people who believe they will harm their children if they nurse for an extended period of time. That is what is meant by being misinformed.

Kim - posted on 07/11/2010

it's so SAD when people think /say that there are "misinformed" people out there.there's nothing with having CHOICE and choosing to not breast feed at all or not doing past 2 yrs of age.

people need to know and understand that everyone parents different and have different views and opinions on things.

breast stop making milk if you don't use them so our bodies do stop making "nourishment."

Kati - posted on 07/11/2010

OK I breastfed my Hannah till she was Sixteen months old!!! (throughout the day) Things were getting tough and i had to get back to work. I consulted with the local heath departments Breastfeeding consultant she told me to try and change the schedule around a bit, which i had to because i was going to work midnights!!! I started work and she never looked back!!! I had two weak moments where i actually tried to nurse her and she looked at me like i was crazy!!! Might be worth a try cause i thought it was gonna be much harder!!! Plus don't worry you have had 2.5 wonderful years of mom & baby bonding!!! Good For you mama!!!

Marilyn - posted on 07/11/2010

It really is a sad moment when I see/hear a mother feel it is ok to deny their child what is the most beneficial nutrients that we can proved them especially so early in their lives. I was a long term breast fed child, my sister was, my cousins were my step sister was and all our children are. When I say long term I mean 4 plus years. I have no memories of the act of nursing but I and all the rest of us have bonds with our mothers that are very strong. None of us had the behavior and defiance issues so many face I truly believe it is because there was so much nurturing that went on between us and our mothers. No it is not possible for everyone to nurse for extended periods of time but if you are able to why wouldn't you. We can not let an uninformed culture dictate what we instinctively know to be true. If we were not meant to nurse long term then our bodies would stop producing nourishment for our children.

Kim - posted on 07/11/2010

i like everything charley has said!!!!

Lisbeth - posted on 07/11/2010

Christina- YES I DO ACTUALLY, I can think of no better memory for my little one to have and to know that I would do anything to better her life. Its too bad you don't see it that way.

Christina - posted on 07/11/2010

I do not get women who want to nurse there child till they are 4 or 5 years old You really want your children to remember nursing from you?

Anneke - posted on 07/11/2010

why stop if you dont want to? your doc dosnt sound like he knows any better as you can breastfeed as long as baby and you are happy. Wy cause such a massive fuss when your both happy.

Amanda - posted on 07/11/2010

I had the exact same problem a couple of months ago!! We moved to a new city and had a new doctor...she told me that my son was nursing way too much...the only response I could come up with when she told me to cut down was "well I don't really do that...for me it is up to him. She didn't say much else after that. Of course then I ran to here and posted LOL We are still nursing and even though I am pregnant he shows no signs of stopping, but he has slowed down quite a bit. Do what your heart says!

Laura Zoey - posted on 07/11/2010

Charley, the reason you take them off of a botle at 1 is because formula is mostly a survival food. it is sufficient for their growth and development but it is in no way ideal. you take away the bottle because is is man made and the nipple isnt good for their mouths. the formula isnt anything amazing nutritionally so they can get the same benifits from table foods. but breastmilk is not equalled by any table foods. there is nothing that can compare to human milk. bottles can cause teeth to be crooked or stained. it can cause ear infections and poor eye development and speech delays, thats why you take them off of it as soon as possible (age 1) but breastmilk not only doesnt harm the toddler, it actually improves them. in toddlerhood the milk gives them immunity and antibodies so they get sick less and it gives them ideal growth and development. including the exact amounts of fat for their eyes and brains. also the toddler nursing rarely goes through the "picky eater" phase or the "terrible two" phase or the "jealous" phase and this is because the toddler is receiving every ounce of comfort he/she needs through mom.
as Lisbeth said, cows milk is really not great for toddlers and it really is far inferior to human milk. many breastfed toddlers dont even drink cows milk at all. mine doesnt.

April - posted on 07/11/2010

I'm nursing my 18 month old son and our most important time is at night too! sometimes all night and other times a few nights. he is still teething a lot...so it's been great for that!

my next door neighbor tried to go cold turkey by flying 3000 miles across the country to attend a religious function. she was gone for 9 days!!! she said she couldnt enjoy her vacation because she was heavily engorged and was suffering. in the end, her daughter went right back to nursing as normal. she's 2 and half years old also

Lisbeth - posted on 07/11/2010

Charley- were exactly did you get your information that it is "NOT NORMAL" to breast feed a kid. Apperantly you are very closed minded in this topic and If I were you I would stop talking b/c around the world the average age for breast feeding is 4.4. Yes I understand we live in a society were breast feeding a toddler or older is not common but it is very NORMAL stopping when mother and child are not ready is not normal. as for mixing human milk with cow milk Why in any sense would you concider that "NORMAL" . God made a mother cow to feed a baby cow and a mother human to feed a baby human. So you think it is ok to feed milk form the tit of another species but not from the own species. Or did you just not consider the fact that it does come from the breast of a cow.
P.S. also cows milk is full of growth hormones and pesticides I would rather not say here baby instead of mommies pure and healthy milk have a cup of pesticides.

Michele - posted on 07/11/2010

FYI - Ladies, we called the Girls or breasts -------> "Babies"!!
She understood this at a very young age, so there was no yelling for Boobies in the middle of the store!
In our home they are called, 'The Girls' with respect! :)~

Kathy - posted on 07/11/2010

I thinks up to you and you know what best for you and your child.

Stephanie - posted on 07/11/2010

My son is 12 1/2 months old and we're still nursing as well. I really believe in the child-led weaning approach personally. If you don't feel the timing is right for you and your daughter then ignore the doc and give that girl some boobie ;-)