can a judge tell me to stop nursing my one year old?

MARIA - posted on 05/15/2010

Some people specially in law point dont like to see what is really important for a child special when the child is one year old and is a toddler causes they would look at it as like as a excuse from the mother to try to stay with the child and not let the father enjoy his baby. Also if you dont have or do have a it in a hour to nurse him is bad; causes a child that is nuse for so long sometimes is really close to the mother and if you nurse during the night it will be crazy for your ex-husband and heartbreaking for you. My advice is talk to your husband causes he need to see what is best for that child not what is best for the judge or the lawyer getting divorce is not about making the situation more stressfull for the kid is about a love that it was there is not anymore and as a adult mother and father should talk and talk to the lawyers and the judge and think what is best for the baby not for you or your ex-huband; that is what they said in the courts of family and is really funny that they are telling something like that. I think that if you have to prove to them that you are nursing do it. I have a 21/2 year old and i nurse him and i will stop when he want to. Nursing is a right that a child have but in this case u have to look the age and talk to your ex husband.

Nicole - posted on 05/15/2010

Okay, I am going to lock this now. This has now become a heated debate (according to the multiple flags that are being sent) and the original question has been answered as best as it can be with the information provided by Ashly in the original post. Thank you!

Amy - posted on 05/15/2010

dont listen to anybody who tells you that what you are doing is wrong ..sounds like they need to educate themselves on all the great things breastfeeding gives to a child .they are most likely all men...hold your head up high and do what your heart tells you is right and that is giving the best to your son..when i first started breastfeeding i was always hiding out ,then it dawned on me ..if people dont like it they can look away but i will do what is natural and best for my son ...btw no one can tell you to stop breastfeeding it is against the law .woman are allowed to breastfeed anywhere they like...good luck with your case

Elizabeth - posted on 05/15/2010

Get a doctor's note. It's not necessarily unhealthy to stop breast feeding, but the health *benefits* of breastfeeding past a year are well documented. Europe's average is 2 years and the worldwide average for breastfeeding is 4 years! I'm guessing, but in other countries but America, there would be no custody battles over a child that is breastfeeding. You need another lawyer and get La Leche League involved. I bet they'd *love* to help you!

Karen - posted on 05/15/2010

DO NOT LET ANYONE bully you! Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing for your child. You can nurse as long as you are comfortable. My sister nursed my nephew until he was 3!!!!

Personally for me I want to nurse until my own son is 1 and pump and give him the breast milk in a bottle but to maintain breastmilk supply you must continue to breastfeed on top of pumping! But it is YOUR choice not a court not your husband not me or anyone else! it is your PERSONAL choice breastfeeding is a natural and wonderful way to nurish your child!!!!!!!!
I would suggest a lawyer that is PRO breastfeeding

Amber - posted on 05/15/2010

You shouldn't feel threatened in any way about breastfeeding your son! The WHO recommends you breastfeed until the age of 2, plus what you are doing is what is best for you son. No only is it the best it is a lot more convenient. Our youngest daughter is 15 months old and I still breastfeed her at her nap times and at bedtime. I can tell you that NO ONE will ever tell me when I can and can not feed my child!! She has to eat just like everyone else in this world! Good Luck Girl! Stay strong!!

Kristel - posted on 05/15/2010

If it's about the custody...I have to admit that I think they have a strong point. The father has his rights too.
@Shayla: I was in kind of the same situation. started working again when my son was 3,5 months old. I had sometime to pump in my worksituation, but that was far from ideal. Stopped breastfeeding completely when he was 6 months old. When he was 4 months he had a shared diet: 2 feedings formula, 2 feedings breastfeeding and he started eating fruit by that time as well. Maybe you can still breastfeeds your child in the morning (before leaving for work) and in the evening.

Kacey - posted on 05/15/2010

no not at all! As long as you and baby are enjoying it NO ONE can tell you to stop!

Laura - posted on 05/15/2010

no question, it is your right! the World Health Organization's recommendation is to continue to bfeed (for optimal health of the child) until two years of age, if and when this is possible. no one can argue with that as, the last time i checked, we (as in the United States) are considered part of the "world"! just because culturally this has become a rare thing in our country does not take away the fact that it is the best thing for your child....and beyond that, it is YOUR CHOICE!!!
how are they tying this issue into your custody proceedings? maybe i didn't read far enough in the comments, don't have time, but i don't understand how this could be of any relevance!!!
good luck

Maryamanda - posted on 05/15/2010

yes i agree carly you know when it time to stop and when its right you shouldnt have to have any1 telling you when to stop it they should stop put there noses in.

Carly - posted on 05/15/2010

too bloody right excuse my french but it makes me irate i fed my daughter till she was 2 my son at 18 mths and i now have twin boys who are 10 mths and im still feeding them. you are the only one who can deside when he is ready and im sure you will know when its right but if its not then its no bodys buisness to stick their noses in

Maryamanda - posted on 05/15/2010

aww i hope you get it sorted as you should be able to do what you want.

Lynette - posted on 05/15/2010

Maybe you should get advise from legal advisor or another lawyer. I think your husband (ex) will just have to see him between breastfeeding and meals, like on Saturday before or after lunch for 2 - 3 hours. Don't let anyone tell you how to raise and feed your baby.

Megan - posted on 05/15/2010

Here is something to tell people who bug you about breastfeeding a toddler:

Breastmilk does not suddenly lose it's nutritional and immune benefits when a child reaches a random age milestone. Babies and toddlers need the immune support and nutrition of mother's milk well into the second and third year. Our digestive systems do not mature fully until then and even in children who are lactose intolerant, most little ones have the proper enzymes to digest human milk until well into the fourth year of life, which is an indicator that physiologically we are meant to nurse through toddlerhood. Every child who wants to continue nursing should. When you look at it from an evolutionary standpoint, other primates nurse their offspring into the sixth year and culturally around the world, most women nurse at least into the third or fourth year.

Nicole - posted on 05/15/2010

There is no reason you should be forced to stop breastfeeding, and the other lady was right, in most states your right to breastfeed is considered a civil right. Don't let them bully you!

Marcie - posted on 05/15/2010

NO He can't stop you from caring for your son's needs - can he stop you from holding him, changing him, caring for his basic needs is your right - that's BS!! You are doing the BEST for your son by breast feeding him - I'm sick of people feeling "weird" about naturally feeding your child, Youc can easily feeling him witha blanket of somthing covering ior they can let you take a break to go feed him out fo the court room (hte judge should offer his quarters to you)- No he can't stop you from feeding him !! IF he asks you to stop - ask him if he's telling you to stop caring for your sons basic needs?

CHRISTIE - posted on 05/15/2010

I think it's good that you are breastfeeding!!! That is what's best for your child. They also say that you should breastfeed for the first year so, if he is already a year that is great that you did it for that long. My baby is 10 months and I plan on doing it for the first year and then wean him at 12 months. It is up to you if you want him to continue after the 12 months. I DO NOT think that anybody should be able to tell you to stop breadtfeeding at any time!!! That is your choice!!!

Katrina - posted on 05/15/2010

I breastfed my son EXCLUSIVELY for 13 months and he weaned at 2 yrs old. We tried and tried to introduce him to foods starting at 6 months and he would not have it. If we sneaked something in his mouth he would spray it back on our faces - if it wasn't a boob he wanted nothing to do with it! At his 1 yr check up the doc said it was okay to start him on whole milk so we did that and it helped the food introduction process, but he still nursed extensively for several more months before I could get it down to just night time (we coslept too). I agree Ashley needs to verify some more details for the rest of us, but unless the baby is EXCLUSIVELY breastfed and receives nothing else, there is no reason why it should interfere with visitation. Maybe overnight visits should be postponed until he's weaned if it's a night time comfort thing and dad could drop him off at bed time and pick him up early the next morning so it's as if he spent the night. But baby should be receiving other forms of nourishment by now so that daytime visits with dad wouldn't be interfering with the breastfeeding relationship. La Leche League International can definitely help clarify the laws for your situation Ashley, and I wish you the best of luck!

Casie - posted on 05/15/2010

I don't know what the parenting plan guidlines are in you state, but here in Montana breastfeeding and the well-being of the child come first. If your son is still breastfeeding, the father has to concede, and visitation should be limited to the amount of time between feedings (everything else being equal).

Jennifer - posted on 05/15/2010

Absolutely! How dare they! If their opinion differs, fine. They are absolutely entitled to it. However, far be it from them to tell you to stop giving your son the best start in life you can give him!
My best suggestion would be to do your research. Find written studies that you can print or highlight from a book that advocates your case (and be sure to view the opposing sides, just to be prepared). That way, if you have to you have a logical viewpoint and not just an emotional one. Approach the situation with logic and reasoning and it will be harder for them to argue.
Good luck!

Andreina - posted on 05/15/2010

they will make u pump milk so that when the dad takes the baby he has food to give her, they cant make u stop breastfeeding.. but they can make u be more linient for when dad takes baby with him!

Carrie - posted on 05/15/2010

Speaking as a mom who breastfed my daughter until she was 3 1/2 and a family law attorney, I understand both you and the criticism of you. I place enormous value on the breastfeeding relationship and feel that 1 year is an arbitrary line in the sand. However, I have seen women (both my clients and opposing parties) who want to prioritize the breastfeeding relationship over their child's ability to have a relationship with the father. If you're using breastfeeding as a reason to prevent the father from having overnight visitation, then expect unsympathetic criticism. If you realize that 1 year old children can adapt to breastfeeding in mom's home and not breastfeeding in dad's home, then you should stick to your guns.

Andreina - posted on 05/15/2010

the judge will most likely tell you to start pumping so that when the baby goes with the dad, he will have food to take!

Hannah - posted on 05/15/2010

You have the right to do whatever you want in regards to nursing as long as he's in your custody. His father has the right to do whatever he wants in regards to food choices while the child is in his custody. Imagine that you were a vegan and wanted to raise your child the same way, but the child's father thought it was alright to feed him fast food french fries and cheeseburgers regularly. The judge would not stop the father from seeing the child based on dietary choice disagreements. And since the child is old enough to drink cow's milk, being over the age of one year, there is nothing that you can do to stop the decision of the judge or the choices that your ex makes. This is sad and unfortunate for both you and your son, because you are trying to do what's best for him. Good luck!

Erin - posted on 05/15/2010

I'm going through a custody battle as well at the moment. My ex started legal action while I was pregnant with my son wanting the baby on a 2 day turnaround even though I would be breastfeeding. He took me to Court when the baby was 7 months old. He didn't get the baby on a shared care arrangement and he wasn't granted any overnight access. The magistrate went with my orders giving hiim access 3 times a week with the times gradually increasing as the baby gets older. The courts recognise the importance of breastfeeding and the recommendations for breastfeeding by the WHO is to breastfeed until 2 so this is reflected in the orders brought down by the Court. I plan to breastfeed until my baby is 2 so I don't want overnights to begin until he is weaned. Stand up for what you believe in and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Monica - posted on 05/15/2010

Most baby foods has a notice on it stating that its best to breastfeed for the first 24 months. Read this document: http://www.waba.org.my/whatwedo/wbw/wbw0... which states that a baby should be breastfed for the first 24 months on demand. No-one can tell you to stop breastfeeding your child. DON'T BE INTIMIDATED BY YOUR ATTORNEY OR ANYONE ELSE.!

Beverley - posted on 05/15/2010

No One can tell you to stop beastfeeding not even a judge as you are doing whats right for your little man.. it is well against your's and your sons human rights to stop you breast feeding.. like the comments below tell them to shut up and put up!!!! my hat goes off to you hun congrats for doing it this long i had to stop when my baby girl was 7 months through going back to work!

Sarah - posted on 05/15/2010

Oh my, what a mess! The court's position is what is in "the best interest of the child." There is a lot of ignorance about the benefits of breastfeeding - so educate them! Teach your lawyer by providing articles and research about the benefits to the child breastfeeding past the age of 1. You have already done much of this research, otherwise you wouldn't be committed to it already! Make sure your lawyer knows that this is for you and your child. Then make sure your lawyer educates the judge about these benefits - it's his job to educate the court about this. If your lawyer won't do this, find another lawyer.

Valerie - posted on 05/15/2010

Of course they can't stop you from breastfeeding. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that you breastfeed until your child is 2 years old with the introduction of solid foods at 6 months. So, if your lawyer is giving you a hard time, find out why. Does he think it will hurt your case? If so, I'm sure your pediatrician will be more than happy to write you a note stating that it is in the child's best interest to be breastfed. Also, it is not anyone's choice but yours. I don't know if you checked into any of the laws about breastfeeding, but there are several in place and they vary from state to state. I googled "breastfeeding laws" and found several websites. Here are a few to check out:
http://www.ncsl.org/issuesresearch/healt...
http://maloney.house.gov/documents/olddo...
Hope this helps!

Dena - posted on 05/15/2010

OMG!!! Sorry to resort to that, but NO!!! I can't believe they are even saying anything ... it isn't like your child is a controversial age for breastfeeding (which I typically think around age 2 a child should be weened, but every parent has the right to make their own decision). I think you should call news stations and make it a huge deal if they go down that path. Kudos to you for pushing or what is best for your child!!!!!

Maria - posted on 05/15/2010

yea, absolutley not. No one can tell you to stop breastfeeding your baby. Its healthy for him and you. You should get some back up like the la leche league, just for any circumstances that may arise down the road.

Sheryl - posted on 05/15/2010

keep up the good work....you are doing the best for your son with your breastfeeding. Keep it up as long as it suits both you & your son.

Ashley - posted on 05/15/2010

*fast-FLOWING bottle I meant to type :P

Ashley - posted on 05/15/2010

Some babies, even at the age of one, have a single bottle and refuse the breast from there on. Some babies go back and forth from birth. You never know which baby will refuse the breast after a fast-slowing bottle. It really is that important to protect breastfeeding for at least 2 years when mothers and babies want to, and

I would e-mail the pediatrician I work with for advice, Dr Jack Newman or our clinic director, Edith Kernerman. www.nbci.ca

He and the clinic director Edith Kernerman (also chair of ILCA - Int'l Lactation Consultants Association) have testified in many a court case to protect breastfeeding through custody battles. I'm sure they would have some resources or advice for you to take to your lawyer.

Good luck to you!

Sandra (pixie) - posted on 05/15/2010

You Breastfeed !! It is free food!!! We have EVERY RIGHT to feed our Babies when they are hungry !! Jesus was breastfeed!!! Don't let the uneducated push you around!!! Know your rights , & stand up!!! Good luck!!

Vanessa - posted on 05/15/2010

You have the right as a GOOD mother to feed YOUR child in the best way you know how and that God has given you. I think ANYONE, and I mean ANYONE, who comes in the way of that should be struck down!!! There are too many mothers, and fathers, out there who don't take care of their children and you should receive a medal for loving your child. Plus, in most states there are laws that protect a nursing mother!!!!

Amanda - posted on 05/15/2010

there is always ways around breastfeeding that people should take into consideration...for example if your husband wants the visitation rights.... he should be allowed too unless there has been abuse issues toward children in the past then the judge will only allow visitation supervised or not allow it at all, but if there was no abuse towards children in the past he would be allowed rights to visit. If you are still breast feeding the you can either pump milk for him to give the baby, or you can be the supervisor of the visitation and if you child is hungry you are able to respond to his/her needs. Explain to the lawyer and the judge that this would be only for a while till you are comfortable and ready to stop breast feeding, but in the custody battle it can still be sorted out for after the child is done breast feeding. Note you may have to give them a time line of how much longer, but thats ok because it is your right as a parent/mother to provide a balanced healthy life style for your child. If they have issues in seeing you breast feed then there is always blankets....or maybe you might just need to find another lawyer. How this helps...also remember it is a right they would be infringing upon it. If your Canadian it states it in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.... the right to life, liberty and security....and I don't know if your a cultural person but that can be infringing on your rights aswell (beliefs and traditions)... hope it helps

Elanor - posted on 05/15/2010

NO NO NO!!!
You are doing a wonderful thing, which proves you are a loving mum. The World Health Organisation recommends at LEAST 2 years. If they are a decent law, should know the laws, that protect breastfeeding others and children.
It seems they are clutching at straws!

Amanda - posted on 05/15/2010

nobody can tell you to stop breast feeding and you can get a doctors note saying its the healthiest for her its a personal choice on how long you breast feed

Debra - posted on 05/15/2010

From what I have read with everyone elses posts, there can be an easy solution. If it is for visitation reasons - at 1 year your son should be on food as well as breast milk - so he would be able to visit with his dad for a few hours without breast milk as it is not his soul nutrition. I agree that there must be something else to the story. Your child will feed as long as he needs to and he should be allowed to make the desicion - no one else.

Joanne - posted on 05/15/2010

this is so ridiculous.the world health organisation reccommends bf exclusively until 6 months when we introduce solids but it does not tell us to stop there. in fact what it reccommends is that you continue to bf until your child is at least 2 and to stop when both of you are ready to. this is a thing called natural weaning . there are enormous health benefits to doing this. it comes under the heading 'extended breastfeeding facts' on www.kellymom.com or you can check out the WHO website or UNICEF. this might just arm you with the facts in black and white for those trying to bully you out of breastfeeding. custody battle or not you are doing an amazing thing for your child and no one, not even a judge has the right to stop you.
it might help to speak to a lactation consultant or Breastfeeding Network Supporter, depending on where you live. all of these are easily accessed on the web. just do a google. they may help you tips on expressing in your sons absence from you but also some women at this stage just feed when they are with their son and use drinks liek water when you are not there.
obviously we know breastfeeding is not just about milk. its a source of healing, improved intellect, bettering social skills, raising confidence. are these things tht your ex does
NOT want for his son? maybe he doesnt know all the facts.

i imagine that the powers that be are going from the angle that you are using breastfeeding as a weapon against your ex. this has happened in the past and the only person who can answer that and deal with it is you. what is unfortunate is that you have to PROVE your motives for wanting to feed your child. sounds ridiculous i know, but to eliminate notions that you are indeed using bf-ing as a weapon, this seems to be the best option to you.
you will get further with judge by having health benefits statistics available to prove your case but he is unlikely to restrict visitation on this alone.

good luck with it all.
it takes a lot of strength of character to breastfeed for as long as you have done. i applaud you. maybe you can draw on this strength to help you through this period in your life too.

take care.

joanne

Classie - posted on 05/15/2010

and i wish yall would stop throwing god into this craziness!

Classie - posted on 05/15/2010

okay all yall are CRAZY!!!!! nobody acn stop you from beastfeding but why in d h** would you want to BF till your child is 2. BF is just an excuse to keep your child away from his father. everyone is complain about the fact that man wants to be with and take care of his child when some children fathers wont nothing to do with them...i didnt BF but i still have a strong bond with my son. my sister BF both of her kids til they were three and that was an embrassment to the family by one my neices can talk walk and had teeth and would walk up and pull my sister shirt up in publix and drink while standing..if a child can do all that they dont need beastmilk...and also everybody keep saying how healthy it is yea when the child is a baby by one the child should be drink cows milk..and the doctor also agrees beastmilk doesnt give all the nutrients that a child needs. my youngest need had low iron by she was one and she could get al the iron she need from the beastmilk the doctors told my sister that she need to stop beastfeeding and give the child the iron supplements instead of taking them herself beacuse she would get the full dosage through beastmilk. plus when my sister go sick she could take any medication because she refuse to stop beastfeeding so now my sister and niece have a constant cold cough and runny nose
and plus you shoulding need beastfeeding to bond with your child ...my neice loves her mom but she really doesnt need the beastmilk i have taking my neice plenty of times and i NEVER had a problem with her eating or drinking with a sippie cup which by one they should be drinking out of any way bottles and beast can mess up the peggies and can led to a child sucking their fingers...do what u please because its your cild your beast and your problem but in this case i think they should grant the father his wishes beacuse i believe you just using beastfeeding to cover something else up you should be glad he still want to be in the child life and is still pay or will pay child support becuase he can just sign over his right as a parent and all you will have a your fatherless child drinking beast milk because your being a a** about the real problem at hand

Nicole - posted on 05/14/2010

ASHLEE!!!!! YOU GO GIIIRLL!!!! This whole thing makes me mad!! You said it all!!
Stay Strong Ashly A.!!!!

Kimberly - posted on 05/14/2010

It's no ones place to tell you that you can't or shouldn't or when you should stop! I nursed my son till 14 months and only weaned because we're working with infertility treatments for #2. Be proud and stand your ground! It makes me sad that they would make you feel that you'd even have to question what you are doing :(

Jessica - posted on 05/14/2010

I don't think that anyone should be allowed to tell you when to stop breastfeeding. It is a mothers duty to provide nourishment and in turn breastfeeding also provides a comfort for your child as well. If a judge said to stop I would find anyone I could to help. I am not one to be out and hold up signs and set up a petition but you can bet I would change my mind in a hurry and be right out there doing it! No one can tell me to stop breastfeeding my child it is after all for his best interest!

Syreeta - posted on 05/14/2010

you can take them to court cause no one has the right to tell you you cant breastfeed its the law and your and your child right they can get a lawsuit for that so do what you do and tell them to relax relate and relay

Ashlee - posted on 05/14/2010

I am so sick and tired of people thinking they have the right to bully, or tell mothers when they should stop nursing as if they are the ones that have whipped it out and been the main source of nutrition for your child for over a year. My little pumpkin is 14 1/2 months and he is still nursing and I will be damned before I let any judge, man, asshole attorney, let alone human being tell me how to do my job as a mother! Don't you agree? Why is it that people feel like it is their job to tell you how to mother your children?!! It's frankly ballsy and absurd. My son has been sick once in his entire 14 1/2 months of living because of all of the nutrients and antibodies on breast milk! It has been the shield, the bonding, the safe haven, and the most special moments I have shared with my child! You can post pone jury duty while you are nursing a child, but you can't postpone overnight visitation from the child's father until the child is done nursing?... That Attorney sounds like he wasn't nursed or nursed long enough asshole! ughhh sorry but I am so tired of people being so shocked at the fact that children nurse and the length of time!!! Stand your ground! Let it be known your position is to protect, feed, and take care of your child. Lets be honest anyways a nursing baby doesn't want his father in the middle of the night! HE WANTS THE BOOB! I DARE THE FATHER TO TAKE THE CHILD OVERNIGHT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!! HE wouldn't be able to handle it I guaran damn tee it! God gives the job to Women to nurse a child for a reason! :) Good Luck

Karianna - posted on 05/14/2010

With all this going on ur child needs that connection with you all the more i would say... to feel safe and secure, loved and to relax. It's your fundamental human right to feed ur child.

Maria Dahlia - posted on 05/14/2010

yup, and it is even your legal right to choose when to stop breast feeding. your lawyer should know that... the only time a legal intervention can happen is if there is physical or moral danger to your son... like that is happening! tell your lawyer to re read the the Maloney bill...