Co Sleeping and Breast Feeding

MacKensie - posted on 05/07/2010 ( 117 moms have responded )

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My son is 5 months old. I am a single mother and we do co sleeping. I love sleeping with him! But he is still waking up about 2-3times a night. Many people tell me that I need to put him in his crib, but honestly I am not ready. i am also a little worried that sooner then later he will start lifting my shirt. He already wiggles over to me and gets his nose in there.

What do you think?? Co Sleeping or No co sleeping. I just would like other advice. Another thing, if you co sleep. What do you do during nap times? I have taken almost every nap with my son. I am worried that when i do have to have someone watch him they will have a hard time. Should I try the crib for naps only???

thanks

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Beck - posted on 05/08/2010

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I co slept with my bub til he was 6mths. Then he was waking every 45mins-hr all night, feeding 8times just to get to sleep and often I woke to find him attached! heheh too cute! But in the end none of us were getting any sleep. We did the below. If its still working for you then keeo it up, we would have as I koved it BUT it wasn't working for us. Our bub used to have him naps (small naps) in his cot and would start in his bed at night but when he woke we would bring him in where he would spend the night.
I am writing this because I have posted similar responses to several posts of Mums who have bubs of various ages having trouble sleeping. I thought I would put it all in one spot and if you were having troubles maybe something I say would help.

My son was an angel child, he would sleep and eat happily for those first few months. I fed him to sleep all of the time and in the end we were co sleeping, one because I loves snuggling with my bub and two because it was SOOO Hard to lug my legs out of bed for yet ANOTHER night time feed!

By 5 and a half months we were OVER it, I was cranky cos I wasn't getting enough sleep, we were worried about my husbands health cos he needs sleep due to risk of seizures and we NEEDED to FIT our gorgous boy!! Corey was still in our bed waking every 45mins-hour and to get him back to sleep quickly I would feed him, over and over and over! This would mean during the afternoon we would flop into bed together and sleep all arvo.

I knew there was a sleep school in a near by town but I knew they did controlled crying at at 6mths I couldn't do it! BUT I knew that if nothing else worked we would HAVE to do it. I went out and brought several 'no cry sleep solution' books. The one that changed our life was DREAM BABY GUIDE by Shayne Rowling. An Austrlian author. It is 700+pages long and uses a lot of tecniques within the whole 24hrs to lead to healthy sleep patterns. I dont believe tht controlled crying is the only way!!!! and wanted to do what ever I could to help his sleep without it. My husband took three days off work and we planned nothing so we could tag team for three days if thats what it took. We started using the routines from the book and within 2 days we had a complete different bub! My husband even thought about going back to work cos we had him sorted with no tears!

I will tell you a few things from the book that may help you but obviously to get the full effect you would need to buy the book. Now I am not saying we have a 'perfect' sleeping bub all of the time, teething still effects his sleep from now and then BUT we have come a huge way and taught him many skills.

My bub is a low sleep requirement baby, meaning they only need 8-14hrs sleep in 24hrs. We do the following and it works a treat!! plus its getting better and better!! The book goes into lots about sleep requirments and the different nap times for different ages but if you are just after info re sleep routines this would help.

Corey, now 12mths, wakes usually around 7am (sometimes he sleeps in however I wake him by 7.30 to keep the day on track) he has a bfeed then breakfast (cereal and fruit)
9.30 milk (bfeed) and fruit for morning tea
11.20 lunch - meat, vegies, carb (rice / pasta / potato) then desert (yoghurt)
12noon bed time (usually sleeps 2-2.5hrs!!)
2.30 milk (bfeed) and arvo tea (cheese on toast / avacardo and ham on crackers, piklets etc)
5.20 tea (vegies and carb)
6pm Nudie time (clothes off play)
6.15 bath time
6.30 out of bath
6.35 milk (bfeed)
6.45 story time
6.55 into cot

Its the sleep time routine that makes the difference, my Mum and sister in law can also follow this and we do the same where ever we are so Corey always knows what is expected.
We also do the nappy change, story then bedtime routine at 11.45 before lunch time sleep.
Cuddle on couch whilst reading - household calm, whilst reading we say before, during and after we say "nearly time for nigh, nigh" "nearly time to find teddy" etc
We say good night to anyone at home - kiss
then into bed room
We lay bub in our arms and rock him whilst we sing twinkle, twinkle, (often now he wants to get into his cot cos he knows he is tired and ready for sleep) then lay him in his cot with his teddy (loves his bedtime ted)
We tuck him in tight - shoving a towel rolled up down either side to keep him in firm. Corey starts on his side. We dont have to tuck him as tight now that he sleeps so well.
We then rub his back and legs and say
"sshh, sshh, sshh, sshh time to sleep"
" sshh, sshh, sshh, sshh mummy and daddy love you"
"sshh, sshh, sshh, sshh nigh, nigh"

we repeat this twice, then stop rubbing and walk out. Corey now never needs re settleing but at first if he did put up a fight we would go in, after a couple of minutes only - shut the door behind us so there is no confusion that he is getting up then repeat the sshh, shh..... and out. It only ever took going in twice maybe three times (usually if he was over tired). We never have to go in twice now.

When he wakes and has had a decent sleep (if he ever wakes under and hour we do the sshh, sshh to get him back off for at least 1hr 20mins though usually he goes solid for the 2hrs 2.5hrs) we walk in and say "good sleeping bubba" happy and bright and get him up. This way he knows the difference between when you are expecting him to go back off and when he can hop up.

If he wakes during the night we go in (maybe give him a sip of water), re plug the dummy, re tuck him in and do the sshh, sshh - we are in and out in under 1 min and he always (except when teething and needs a shot of panadol) settles in one go.

He seems to know now when he needs more sleep and that he needs to go back off. He can now resettle himself too which he could never do, occasionally he will yell out once then go back off. We now wait, he will yell out, we wait, he may yell once or twice more and go back off. We were rushing in and therfore always helping him back to sleep. Now we wait only a minute or two and he goes back off. Anymore than that and we go in. Some people wait longer.


We must make sure he doesn't sleep when we are out in the pram or car before 12noon otherwise it can muck it up (occasionally its fine we have learnt to addapt) but we try to hold him out til 12 so he has one good sleep.

We dont follow the routine completly (there is more to it in the book) anymore, we still use many of the day time communication cues etc There is way to much to go into here!! I would recomend that you buy the book (hehehe I am earning no commision I just LOVE it as does a friend and many more people I would say!)

Good luck everyone, its so hard. You try and do the right thing by your bub but sometimes it leads to 'not helping them'. Corey was such a restless sleeper, I actually thought something was WRONG with him!! It was just that he didn't know 'how' to self settle or re settle between sleep cycles.

P.S I never thought Corey would cut all his night feeds (at 6mths) as like you he was still feeding several times a night in our bed just to get him back to sleep. He did in one night! of course I was up still pumping cos I had been used to feeding but that only lasted a few nights. I kept up at dream feed for another month but I dont think he necessarily needed it. After 6mths unless there is a medical condition bubs DONT need feeds over night! (no matter what people tell you... I know I am leaving my self open to 'different opinions on this one!!) I am sure Corey would still take a feed some nights if I offered it but he doesn't want it, when he has been unsettled due to teething some times I have tried of offer it and he isn't interested! :-( ... a dummy or a sip of water does the same job. The first few nights if he did wake his Dad would go in, after that he has been happy to take water from me. Its all about creating sleep associations and the same environment so when they go to sleep its the same when they wake up so they can think 'ok, all the same, goodo, off to sleep again!" This is why its important to be out of the room when they go to sleep, cos of course if you have them back in their cot you are not there when they wake between sleep cycles. We were expecting to HAVE to use controlled crying with Corey at 6mths but never had to using this above routine (and many more hints from the book) - like having a heater in his room set at 21degrees in winter, using a sleeping bag etc and lots of other day time communication things. This is just a wrap up for you... would love to think it works for you like it does us.... fingers crossed for you!!!

Email me for more info if you would like

Sorry, I could go on all day!!

WOW, THIS WOULD HAVE TO BE ONE OF THE BIGGEST POSTS EVER!!

I hope someone gets something from this to help them and their bub get a good night sleep. Don't expect too much though, bubs still need us and it very rare for any bub to sleep 12hrs straight! But for us, we were just dying for 4 hours sleep straight! Now, we hear no peep from Corey from 7pm til 5.30 (when Hubby is up getting ready for work) then he goes back off til 7-7.30am!!! ahhhh Bliss!!!

Do what works for you and you feel best doing.

Jessica - posted on 05/08/2010

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when you say he's waking up, is it to eat? if your baby is waking up in the bed with you then he is most likely to wake up even more in the crib. plus if you put him in the crib you will have to actually get out of bed to feed him and put him back. where as, with co-sleeping, you don't even really have to fully wake up to feed him lol.

if you feel like he isn't enjoying co-sleeping, you could try the crib b/c some babies do prefer that. it's rare, but it happens. if that doesn't work, then he needs to be in bed with you b/c this is where he feels most secure.

Jennifer - posted on 05/08/2010

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I'm a co-sleeping mom. It works for us, worked for our first son also. I used to take naps with our son every time he took one, but as he got older and I was getting more sleep at night I started to transition him to a playpen or crib for naps and he seemed to do just fine. We have learned that he takes good naps elsewhere too, like at my mother-in-law's. Just go with what works for you all, pick up on his cues and comforts and go with it.

Sammie - posted on 05/07/2010

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I'm a Co Sleeping mom, so that's my answer. Your the mother of your child, you know what works, and whats best for him.
Don't let others make your decisions for you, and i know everybody likes to try and do that.
Sounds like it is working for you and your child, and that's all that matters.

Melodye - posted on 05/19/2010

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I get my 7 month old to sleep with me, then move her to her crib. She usually stays asleep in her crib from 930 until around 1 am. When she wakes up, she comes to bed with me to breastfeed. Sometimes I put her back in her crib, but then she wakes back up a few hours later, around 3. Mostly when she wakes up at 1, she stays in the bed with us for the rest of the night. It makes it easier for us both to get rest and we get to cuddle all night.

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Anne - posted on 05/19/2010

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Hi MacKensie, My babies are 25, 23 and 16yrs. I think your idea of letting your lovely son sleep in the crib for his naps during the day is excellent. What I did also was when my babies fell asleep with me at night I would put them into their crib or cot. Slowly but surely they got used to it. All will work out fine. Hugs Anne:)

Jeanine - posted on 05/19/2010

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I was a co sleeping mom until my son was 6 1/2 months old and I couldn't figure out why he was still waking to breastfeed every 2 hrs, then I read that your baby can actually smell your breastmilk and that is why they wake up. I decided that for as much as I loved having him sleep with us, it wasn't doing him or us any good since none of us were sleeping soundly. I moved him to his crib for both naps and night time sleep and he has been doing great, and almost instantly he went from every 2 hrs to only waking once a night, and he is now 8 1/2 months old and we are all much better, and much happier during the day. He also went from short little naps during the day to 1 -2 hr(s) naps. This was my experience, but it is every parent's choice on what they want to do, I just believe that it is easier to transition them to their bed when they are younger rather than older, less traumatizing for them and you. Good luck on your decision.

Katey - posted on 05/19/2010

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My husband and I co-sleep with our almost two year old, and we love it. He was about about a year old when he stopped waking up 2-3 times a night, now it is just once a night.

Ellen - posted on 05/19/2010

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my son is 8 months old and we co sleep at night - can't say he's ever lifted my shirt but i do still breast feed. for day naps he is usually in his rocked off in his car seat or push chair, if i'm lucky he goes in his crib (next to our bed) but wont stay there long. he doesn't need to go in his crib, its rubbish, but you just have to be prepared to not have the full nights sleep. if you are thinking about moving him to a crib/other room, best time is after a holiday or big change so that they are thrown out of routine and you can establish a new one in his new bed... but a 5 months dont worry, enjoy all the time you have, sooner lor later they wont want to know! may be try to seperate during nap times to start with.
I hope this helps and good luck - dont worry about the breast feeding thing, world agverage age to stop is about 4 yrs, uk is 3 months, keep it going....

Ellie

Rebecca - posted on 05/19/2010

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We a one of the only species of mamal that seperate ourselves from our babies at birth.
I think it is ok now & then if your nchild is really up set or sick, but don't make it a habit that can't be broken.
They are smart wee things & will make the most of the situation if they can. His waking regulary, he knows his milk is right there for the taking, when he wants it, he smells it.
You need to start seperating your self form him, or he will never learn to settle himslef, & be without you.
You need to learn to let go, & he needs to learn his independence. It wont be easy but you need to do it for his sake as well as yours.
You will understand why as he gets older.

Jennifer - posted on 05/18/2010

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WE ended up co-sleeping for part of the night for a while. He would always go down fine at night, the night time routine worked wonders.



Our problem was when he woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep. I ended up bringing him to bed, nursing him back to sleep then falling asleep myself. This happened often enough that he got use to climbing into bed with me the middle of the night.



At about 10 months he started picking at me in the middle of the night. By this time DH had moved to the couch at night. My LO (in his sleep) would pull my hair, ears, or find a mole to pick at, all in his sleep. That was my limit I wasn't getting any sleep.



I started off by just deciding I was going to stay up until I got him to sleep in his bed. For several nights I would get up rocking him to sleep then lay him back down in his crib and go to bed.



After several nights he figured this one out and would wake up when he felt me leaning over the crib and I would have to start all over again.



Finally I just had to let him fuss for a while. 1 night of ab out 15 minutes of fussing and I haven't had a problem since. He still wakes up but I can pat his back or rock him a minute lay him down and he goes right back to sleep.



This worked for us, every baby is different. My first 2 children slept through the night in their cribs no problem. Every baby and mommy are different.



Oh yeah- he sleeps in his crib in our room so I suspect some of our sleeping sounds helped wake him up.

A - posted on 05/18/2010

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I actually started my son off in the crib and we transitioned to cosleeping because he refused to sleep on his own no matter what method we tried (including cry it out, ferber, etc). So we all got more sleep co-sleeping. We went co-sleeping full time around 8 months of age. For naps, I hold my son, we lay down in the bed together (its set up so its safe, and we also have his mattress from his crib on the floor and our mattress on the floor as well). Once he falls asleep on the bed, I remove my self and let him take his naps by himself.

I tried desperately to get my son to sleep independently. People think its so easy, but they don't understand every baby is different and different babies need different amounts of attention and cuddling. I've tried methods and stuck with them for a week or two, to no avail. We had a really bad session one night of letting him cry (checking on him every 10-15 minutes) and he just refused. This night in particular, he was shaking from crying so hard. I told myself I don't care how inconvient it is for me, my son needs me and wants me to be there for him. So we started co-sleeping. To my surprise, he falls asleep on his own now, being comforted that we are there. I just turn off the light and he settles in and goes to sleep. If he wakes up, I nurse him.

Honestly, its up to you. You're the one having to take care of your baby, so you need to decide whats best for you! I do think its a good idea to get your little one to sleep alone at least during naps, (maybe start off with one nap a day and increase gradually) even if you have to rock him to sleep and cuddle him and then remove yourself. We started co-sleeping when my little one was older, so I'm not sure if I'd recommend yours taking a nap on the bed. I guess it depends on the safety measure you take. I have a video monitor so I can see my son if he wakes us, and like I said its on the floor so even if he rolls off he's not going to seriously hurt himself. He gained the understanding of "edges" before we started cosleeping though, so he understands he will fall so he stays on the bed until I come get him. There are rails you can get, and move the bed against the wall and like I said get a video monitor. Its your choice what you want to do. Do what feels right. My son needed me, but if I had a baby that was easy to train, they would be sleeping in their own crib. lol

Nina - posted on 05/18/2010

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My husband and I co sleep with our 1 year old son and LOVE IT! There is nothing better than waking up beside your sweet baby. Not to mention it makes nursing very easy. I would have to tell you to do what you feel comfortable with. Everyone tells me how bad it is for us to do this, but we love it. I do put my son in his crib for naps to sleep and he does just fine. The best advice that I was ever given was to do what works for you and your family! Good Luck :)

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My son is 6 and a half months and I`m also a single mom and we need our sleep. I am still breastfeeding and we just co sleep for a little while at night not all night and sometimes we nap together. What i was always afraid of is that he would`nt want to go in his crib but because we dont do it that often he`s good wherever he sleeps. Well I hope i have helped a little :)

Whitney - posted on 05/18/2010

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I co-slept until my daughter was nine and a half months. I loved it! I new she was safe beside me and I didn't have to get out of bed every time she woke up. Around nine months she started waking up every 45 minutes, I found a sleep therapist and we went to work on getting her to sleep in her crib. She slept through the night within the week. (I still bring her into bed with me in the morning for an hour because I miss the cuddles)

Amy - posted on 05/18/2010

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I have always co-slept. When I return to work, the daycare has their own routine. It normally takes a week for them to situate my kids. All have done well with their nap times, nd I have some stubborn Babies!! So I would say if you are worried about whomever watches them struggling, don't! Kids know it is different rules.

Casey - posted on 05/18/2010

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Hi-
First- if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't!
I co-slept with both my kids (13mo & 2.5 yrs). I started just like you thought, with naps in their cribs. Then gradually we moved them into their beds at night as well. Started with evenings, bringing them to bed for the dream feed & keeping them there, then DF in their rooms & back down in crib & to our bed at 3ish etc. We're working on leaving our baby in there all night now. She's 13 months. We've started this about 3 months ago. My son was 6 months when we started moving him out- he was so squirmy, I thought that we were getting in his way, preventing him from sleeping well & he did help himself to midnight babo, lifting my shirt & everything! We waited a while longer to move our baby girl out. Use your intuition & you'll know when the time is right. It takes time to get used to the idea.
Definitely start with naps in his crib- also spend some time in it, just quitely playing to familiarize him & make him comfortable in his new bed.
And the wakings arre totally normal. My 13mo still wakes at 11 & 3am. My 2.5 y/o didn't sleep all the way thru till he was close to 2. Now he sleeps like a champ! You have a while to go, so don't rush moving your little guy out. Then you'll have to get up, instead of just rolling over.
Good luck.

Marian - posted on 05/18/2010

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My husband and I both hated co-sleeping and only ever did it once or twice, when we were too exhausted to put him back in his crib/cot, and if he's asleep hubby won't fall back into a decent sleep at all. And we are very very very grumpy when we haven't slept well.

So in our situation, co-sleeping was just no good. We did have our baby in our room in a crib right next to me for the first 6 weeks, then he got moved (with the crib) into the room next door, and then he transitioned up to his cot when he started to roll. But this didn't start helping him sleep through the night...

It was all about routine, if your baby gets used to things done a certain way, in some cases, they won't be happy unless it is always done that way... I have been lucky, once we taught our baby to sleep independantly everything has gone soo smoothly, except teething, illnesses etc.

He has slept from 6 weeks old (must be that we weren't jumping up to him at every little squeak and snuffle he made) 11-13 hours a night.

My trouble is now though, his day time sleeps, because I run around doing sooo much, his day time routine is out the window. A day at home could mean as much as 3.5 hours worth of naps, but a day in town is usually 2 x half hour naps, and usually in the car.

So I am going to look for that book, Dream Baby Guide by Sheyne Rowley and get my baby (11 months) into a routine, my life will just have to go on hold until I can.

Good luck with your decision, Single parenting has its own challenges and rewards!!

Michelle - posted on 05/18/2010

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I co-slept with my boys. Most of the time when they woke to nurse, I was hardly aware of it. I slept when they slept because that's what *I* needed. (sleep...WHY did I avoid naps when I was five???)

He will have a hard time if you have to have someone watch him, but he will adapt. That's what kids do. You can't live for "if"s. Maybe he will teach whoever cares for him the joy of napping!

FWIW, my boys sleep in their own beds now. Occassionally coming in to me for nightmares or whatever. They know I'm a mom 24/7.

I think the best advice I ever got and could ever give is FOLLOW YOUR HEART. You, above all, know what is best for your son! TRUST that!

Blessings,
Michelle

China Rose - posted on 05/18/2010

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Don't listen to them, many people co-sleep much longer than that. My son's 7 months old and we're still co-sleeping and breastfeeding, but I do want to start moving him to the crib soon. During nap times my son sleeps in my bed and I usually nap with him or clean.

Julie - posted on 05/18/2010

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I would like to add that we both are sleeping great. I get my 8 hours sometimes more. It took me about a week to get used to it but now everything is good and she only wakes for her pacifier around 7:30. Obviously you are thinking that maybe this is the better choice for you. Try it for a week if at the end of the week its working for you then keep it up. If your baby is not taking to it well then try again in a few more months :) whats best for you may not always be best for them, and you know whats best for him.



When I try to co sleep now I get poked in the eye and smacked and the look on her face is like "why am I in here?" And its clear she wants to be in her own bed. We are both happier in the long run even though this situation is nowhere near how I wanted it.

Julie - posted on 05/18/2010

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I wanted to co sleep for longer but at 4 1/2 months I put my daughter in her own crib (the first few nights were hard on me) BUT she passes right out and since the swap has been sleeping up to 12 hours a night! If you decide to do it early, I would recommend pumping a few extra times. Somehow my supply started diminishing and now she is also on formula. I don't know if it was just her wanting to be more independent or what.

Luschka - posted on 05/18/2010

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We cosleep and i wouldn't change it for the world. We put our 7 mo old down to sleep in her cot at night, but after I've gone to sleep, when she wakes, she comes in with us and spends the rest of the night there. She does sleep in her cot, or with her daddy in the bed during the day.

At the moment she's sleeping through from around 12 to 6, but that's a recent development, she does wake ever hour to 2 hours between 7 (bed time) and 12 though. Honestly though, it's quite possible that I don't even wake when she does anymore, and that she's just latching on.

As for the raising your shirt thing, seriously, I wouldn't worry about it. It's not a sexual thing, its a food thing. Like you lifting the lid off a cookie jar. He will grow out of it again.

In the end, YOU are his mother - there is no right or wrong. There is only what works for you.

Trista - posted on 05/17/2010

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I like to co sleep, but I have her sleep in her crib as well. For her naps, I started laying her on her nursing pillow while I sat close by. Now she sleeps anywhere, whether or not I'm with her.

Bekah - posted on 05/17/2010

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We also co sleep. I tried putting her in her crib and she went right to sleep. I realized that I sleep better when she is with me. I worry less since she is right beside me.

Shannon - posted on 05/17/2010

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You should do what you think best but since you asked heres what I think... I was worried about sleeping with my daughter b/c I couldn't stand the thought I waking up to a tragedy, however I did take some naps with her especially when she was little and waking up a lot and we were both tired. My daughter started sleeping through the night at about 6 wks so always put her in her bed at night... She sleeps like me and you can tell she doesn't want to be bothered when she is tired and ready to crash.

For your situation if you want to ease your way into seperate sleeping I would try the crib for naps, maybe hold your baby till he falls asleep and then put him in the crib, thats what I did when I was trying to transition from the basinet to the big crib. When you need cuddle time you can take a nap together. Just from what I have tried with my duaghter she sleeps better alone, so when you feel you are ready sleeping in the crib at night may help him sleep all night. I hold my daughter at night, she nurses,then we cuddle, when she dozes off I put her in her bed occasionally she wakes up and fusses and I will pick her up and rock her or lay on my bed with her then when she goes back to sleep I put her in bed.

Honestly I don't think there is a right or wrong way so do what you think is best.

Brendalyn - posted on 05/17/2010

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My 8 month old son co-cleeps with Me and His Dad, but he slways naps alone, he only ends up in bed with us if A) i fall asleep while nusring him or B) he wakes up in the middle of hte night for another feeding and im to lazy to wait till his fed to fall asleep so i jus put him in bed with us, part B has become our nightly routine!

Rebecca - posted on 05/16/2010

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I co-slept but I moved my daughter to a crib when she was 6 months because she was still waking 2-3 times a night - and then she slept through. My daughter is 14 months and she lifts my shirt now, not co-sleping didn't help that! Crib for naps during the day is a good place to start if you want others to watch him - it takes at least 3 days though for them to adjust. What ever works for you is best :)

Diane - posted on 05/16/2010

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I have co-slept with my first 2 and now with my twins and I sleep with at naps a lot as well though sometimes I just lay down with them at naps until they are asleep and then I can move them. If someone else is watching him your caregiver could snuggle him til he falls asleep and then put him down. I would not stop co-sleeping, there is no reason why you should have to stop if you're breastfeeding. It's normal for babies to continue to wake several times in the night and nurse for a few minutes or more. Putting him in a crib will not stop him from waking up but it will mean that he'll have to cry before you know about it and then you'll have to get up and nurse rather than the way you're doing it now. You're likely to get a lot less sleep (both of you) if you move him to a crib. If he starts to lift your shirt just tell him no and maybe teach him a word you'd like him to use for nursing along with a sign (like baby sign language) that way until he learns to say the word he can still tell you what he wants without lifting your shirt. Good luck!

Alea - posted on 05/16/2010

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i think its OK i do it and i get a lot of rest at night if it works keep doing it

Kelly - posted on 05/16/2010

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It's fine my son is 2 and we still co sleep he only wakes up once now in the night to breastfeed but he seems happy and the road has been a smooth one.

Jessica - posted on 05/16/2010

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I also co-sleep. My LO is now thirteen months and still wakes up anywhere from three to eight times a night, every night! It's very difficult, and the constant waking may be partially a result of co-sleeping, but I still feel that it's right for us. People tell me to put him in his crib and let him cry himself to sleep, but I don't think that's parenting.

Lisa - posted on 05/16/2010

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My girl will be 2 this coming Friday, and we've co-slept since she was about 5 mo. old, when she was finally too big for her bassinet! :D She still breastfeeds, too, although I'm slowly trying to wean her by 2 1/2. She too wakes around 2-3 times a night - - STILL. Other babies I've heard sleep through the night at different ages. She's certainly slowed on her night wakings - truly, average lately is about 2-3 but she's been a little sick - for a few months it's more like 1-2 times per night she still wakes.
I've been preparing her for the transition to her toddler bed by doing naps only there for now, (we only used her crib for "quiet time" before, a safe place for her to play if I needed a shower & daddy was working.). But she will stay with me in my bed at night until we're both ready for her to be "a big girl". :)
Keep doing what you're doing and follow your heart, not what everyone else says. You'll do just fine, mama.

Mindy - posted on 05/16/2010

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My 8 month old daughter sleeps with us and she wakes up a few times a night. All I do is nurse her and she goes right back to sleep. A lot of people will tell you why this is wrong, but do what you feel. I know plenty of moms who have done this and their children transition to their own beds when you are both ready. My daughter does nap in her crib for my mom. For me she usually naps in her swing. Good luck. I hope this helps.

Nyssa - posted on 05/15/2010

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I co-slept with my son til he was 4-5 months old and he still ends up in our bed several nights a week. He has woken between 2-3 times a night since he was born and still does even when he's in his cot, I don't think the co-sleeping makes any difference at all.

My son naps in his cot, I use that time to get things done and have some time to myself.

Mandy - posted on 05/15/2010

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My baby girl is 6 months old as of yesterday, and I cosleep with her. she refuses to sleep in her crib, but that's ok with me. I agree with all the others who say as long as you're comfortable with it, keep doing it. My mother and grandmother treat me horribly for cosleeping and breastfeeding, but i just ignore them and continue to do it. Keep up the good work!

Rachel - posted on 05/15/2010

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I LOVE co sleeping!!!! My daughter is 14 months old and we still co sleep. By the way it is healthy for them to still be waking every 2-3 hours to nurse. They are only 5 months old! They NEED nourishment every 2-3 hours. Imagine how hungry YOU would be if you were only 15 pounds (or whatever), with a stomach the size of a peanut and you had to go 8 hours without eating. Check out Dr. James McKenna from the University of Notre Dame. He runs the mother baby sleep lab there and he says that Co sleeping is absolutely best for mother and baby. Heres a link to his research site: http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/

Carol - posted on 05/14/2010

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Hi!, I am a single mom too. My baby is 6 months old and I love co-sleeping with her. I usually put her in the crib for the first while she sleeps and then when she wakes for feeding I leave her in the bed with me. She rolls to my side when she wants milk. I love that she is the one that wakes me in the morning and I wont stop co-sleeping until she is ready to sleep without waking up to be fed. I think is convenient and is good for both of us to sleep together. I have had people watching her at night and she is fine. Do you teach her to drink from a bottle. You only need to do this when you are going to leave him with someone. Start teaching him in advance.

Deborah - posted on 05/14/2010

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The fact is, your son will most likely still wake up frequently being a breastfeeder no matter where he is sleeping. They aren't under the filling formula "sedative." That means it will be you getting out of bed to comfort him in an uncomfortable chair all night....believe me, I did it for a year until I finally let him cry it out, and it was much more of a burden on my rest which isn't good. Your baby will adjust when the time comes when you feel comfortable to change. It's always hard to figure, and you want to have foresight, but what's important is how you feel presently. He's still so young. As for naps, yes, if you feel like you want to try his shorter sleeping periods away from you since you aren't necessarily BFing during those hours, that will give him a good start in adjusting now to small changes, especially for sitter situations when they might be with him during naptime. As for pulling up the shirt....it's his form of communication. My son became attached to feeling my belly button during feedings, and still, at age 4, lifts my shirt to find my belly button for comfort. If that's one warm human thing that gives him security, vs reaching for a material manmade "thing", then I've done well. Best wishes...don't think too much, just use your Godgiven maternal instincts.

Candice - posted on 05/14/2010

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Co sleep until you ween. It works so well for nursing,by the time baby weans he'll be ready to sleep by himself too.

Misha - posted on 05/14/2010

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My Zoe is 11 months old now and has been sleeping through the night since 7 months old. Until then she slept next to me in a co-sleeper (but not in the bed with me) but I could let her nurse/sleep with me through the night as needed.
I had her napping in her crib during the day-time from about 2 months old since I took her to work with me. The week before she turned 7 months I decided it's time to reduce the night-feedings, so when she'd wake up I stopped nursing her and gave her water to drink and patted her tummy and soothed her back to sleep. the first night or two was tough but then she cut back to waking up only once.. then in her crib at night.. then she was sleeping through the night!! AMAZING - I started sleeping again!
Anyway - I say let him sleep with you as LONG as you want to - as long as you are able to take care of yourself as well as your son - do what works for you!!

Ivy - posted on 05/14/2010

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am also co-sleeping with my daughter, it's easier for me to breastfeed her at night coz i get to sleep also while she's having her milk. it's an indication that the baby is hungry when they try to "wiggle and getting his nose in there"..... enjoy the moment sleeping together, it's bonding time for both of you. go CO-SLEEPING.

Janelle - posted on 05/14/2010

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i still cosleep with my nearly 10mos dd and will for a while yet....nothing wrong with night waking - www.askdrsears.com and read what he has to say about 'sleep training' BF babies.

Vanessa - posted on 05/14/2010

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I co slept and nursed both my children. Yes, he will begin to go for himself. That's what I liked because they didn't always keep me up during the night. No, you don't have to nap with him. Just nurse him to sleep and go on to do... I would put pillows around my children to endsure they didn't fall on the floor. But, it you want to try him with the crib, during naps, that's fine. It will only make transitioning from your bed to the crib later, if you choose. If someone else will watch him, just leave something with your smell beside him (something you've recently worn) so he thinks you're near. Hope this helps!

Terah - posted on 05/14/2010

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My daughter is now 15 months old, we still co-sleep and nurse during the night. I do not take naps with her but I do nurse her down and leave the room. From what I've heard from other moms who co-sleep and breastfeed, their children eventually leave their mother's bed on their own. My mother in law babysits for me on occasion and has no issues with getting her to sleep, it just takes longer. I would try nursing him and putting him down in his crib for naps to get him used to it. Good luck!!

Whitney - posted on 05/14/2010

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I co-slept with my daughter until she was about 2 and a half months old. I started putting her down in her crib for naps and then worked it up to her sleeping all the time in her crib. We still take naps together when I am home from work. In the morning before I get ready for work I bring her into bed with me for the morning feed and that allows some cuddle time with her which I love!

Micki - posted on 05/14/2010

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I have 3 kiddos and I did co-sleep with all of them. My 3rd is 9 months and still co-sleeping and breastfeeding. If he wakes up at night but has already ate I give him a binky. I know alot of breastfeeding moms don't like binkys but it works for us at night. and I hold him and get computer time when he naps. It works for us and I know it would not work for everyone else.

Jody - posted on 05/14/2010

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i have co slept with all my kids because i nursed and it was easier for me, at nap time though i did put them in their crib so that they would also be used to sleeping in them. each of mine went to sleep in their cribs at different ages, my oldest around 5 mos, i would nurse her in the middle of the night and then put her back in her bed; next one around 9 mos, she is my attached child and doesn't sleep in her bed now; my youngest is 8 mos and has been starting out in her crib for about a month, but when she wakes up for her feeding i co-sleep the rest of the night.
if your planning on having other people having to put him to bed though he should learn to go to sleep with out you next to him, the closeness to you is more important to him than which bed he sleeps in.

Amanda - posted on 05/14/2010

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i did co sleeping with all 3 of my kids. the elder 2 (now 13 and 11) were with me until they were over 2 as i had a hard time breaking the habit (and they ddin't like being away from me). 3rd child (now 21 months) has been in her crib since 6 months. with her i had her nap in her crib to try to get her used to it, but she was always with me at night. with #4 i'm planning to try having him in his bassinet by the bed at night, but may end up co sleeping again.i got some slack for it from family, but it was what worked best for me, and my children, so i ignored them.

Rebecca - posted on 05/14/2010

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I agree with Sammie. It's ultimately what works for you. I put my 11 month old down for naps in her crib as much as possible, however I still breastfeed and we are both needy of each other. She sleeps in her room, but is so use to me that I sleep with her. I mean, literally she wraps her arms around me or hugs me close. Typically, some may suggest to stop this early, but Neela has been this way since birth & she had colic bad. I'm not and will not be a tough lover. I know that it may be an adjustment to her sleeping on her own for us both but it's not like I haven't been trying to do this. Plus I have a 13 year old and my hubby is lacking with assistance due to his job, I guess. I read it's not healthy for a baby to be left crying. I believe it! Stand by your gut feeling and don't give in if you are uncomfortable. Hang in there.

Becky

Blaire - posted on 05/14/2010

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I do co sleeping to. Finns 3 months and for his first sleep which is usually 10pm - 4am he sleeps in his cot but then after that i put him in bed with me. he settles straight down and goes back to sleep. i find if i dont put him in with me he takes a good hour to settle back down. i dont know if its the fact of being lazy or just wanting to be close :) i think co sleeping gives you a better bond too with your child.

Emily - posted on 05/13/2010

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I am co sleeping half of the night. I had to convince him to sleep in the crib so I could sleep a little more comfortably(he has started moving around in his sleep and rolling around and such) also if I don't latch my nursing top back he will pull it down while i am sleeping(since he too wiggles his way to me and gets his nose in my chest also)and eat.

During nap times I lay down with him and put him to sleep in the bed sometimes, but usually he lets me feed him to sleep in the chair then I place him in his crib.

We have been trying to transition him to the crib all the time but it only works if I have the energy to soothe him back to sleep at night, sometimes he is just SOOO upset and confused when he awakes that I get him back in the bed with me.. but I cuddle him close since he rolls( the bed is agaisnt a wall and is well protected from falls)

Sylas is 6mths

oh and sometimes when other people watch him he wont take naps..

or take naps at other places

Laura - posted on 05/13/2010

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Co-sleeping is working for me as a breastfeeding mommy of a 4 month old who still wakes up about 3 times a night. I might try to transition her to the crib when we start solid food as I'm hoping it will help her to sleep longer. However, I love the bonding and it's gonna be especially hard on me now that my husband is deployed for the next 6 months!

Farah - posted on 05/13/2010

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My only suggestion for naps is to try it in his crib that way when you are ready to try to get him out of your bed at night he will be use to his crib a bit already. My oldest still co sleeps with us most night, my baby only comes in to nurse and then back to her crib she goes. As far as him pulling your shirt up, it's almost inevitable with most bf'd babies. Luckliy I don't think it happens as young as 5 months both my girls started about 1 yr to go after it themselves.

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