Elissa - posted on 01/04/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )
I keep saying this in different threads so here it is and I'm not writing it again because I'll get repetitive strain lol! Here is some of the evidence on CRY IT OUT.
1. It isnt evidence based, there is no research backing it up and was invented in the 50s by a man who did no studies on its effectiveness.
2. Cry it out puts physical stress on baby, producing cortisol which inhibits brain development, particularly in the areas of the brain to do with emotional development - i dont think its a coincidence that mental illness and behavioural problems have soared since this theory became mainstream in our culture.
3. Your body knows when your baby needs you and when they are just grumping and we have developed these instincts over millenia. Ignoring them reduces mums sensitivity and often real problems such as illness are missed because the biochemical signals have been ignored. You know when baby can cry and when they need you.
4. When you leave baby to cry they will stop crying quicker, they will go to sleep alone quicker and your life will become easier quicker. However this happens because you have taught them that they cant rely on you when they need you, that when they cry you wont be there for them. The damage this causes can be devastating - again there are links to behavioural problems, autistic and attention disorders and anti-social behaviour. These are all issues peculiar to western society in the last 50/60 years -in fact since babies began being left to 'cry it out' and rarely occur in cultures where babies are carried, cuddled and in contact with mum 24/7 for the first few years. No one could call Masai warriors spoiled yet they are in constant contact with mum up until about 5.
That said, you know baby, I dont. All I can do is give the evidence. It is a quick fix that can cause bigger problems (although not in all cases but I dont believe in the 'it didnt do me any harm' excuse with the levels of anti-social behaviour in our society).
Plus it is all part of your overall relationship which I'm sure is loving and attched all the rest of the time. Just be aware that this method has some nasty repercussions for many children and for your relationship - it isnt really a quick fix!