Desperately Seeking Sleep - my 4 1/2 month old will not let us sleep......

Laurie - posted on 02/06/2009 ( 53 moms have responded )

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So my adorable Sophie has never been a good sleeper. Finally at 3 months she started sleeping 2.5 hours at night and then another 1.5-2hrs then every hour till the morning (This was GOOD). Starting about 2 weeks ago it has gotten even worse (just when I thought it wasnt possible) and she is up every hour (and during the day only 10 minute naps). We have been putting her to sleep in her crib for a while but she of course can sleep for hours on our chests and decent amount of time in her car seat when we rock her if she stirs. HELP we are really sleep deprived and have tried the basics: night = darkness, turn off lights when time to sleep, eat lot during day, big feed before sleep, etc. If she is teething I even gave her tylenol one night but didnt make any difference in her restless sleep. She also has reflux so that also kicks in as well (but we sleep her on an incline to adjust for this). I am not really up for letting her cry it out or ferberize but getting a little desperate here. Also I am breastfeeding at night (pumping during day) and she won't take a bottle from my husband anymore Advice? Thoughts?

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Crystal - posted on 02/11/2009

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Quoting Kemmily:



Quoting Crystal:

Babies who are left to cry it out don't stop crying because they learn to self-soothe, they stop crying because they realize that they've been abandon and what else is there to do. It's cruel and you can get babies to sleep more comfortably if you teach them how to be comforted rather than force them to realize you don't care enough to comfort them.






Not true... I guess I should have explained more clearly.  But I'm working and didn't want to write pages about my method of soothing which included letting him cry it out.  But my "crying it out " includes standing next to him, rocking him and giving him a pacifier to sleep.  Once you discover your baby is capable of sleeping long such as sleeping on your chest or in the car, that means he can sleep long but just doesn't like the crib by himself.  I would stand next to him and hold his hands and let him cry, so he knows that I am there and that we are going through this together.  Believe me, I never wanted to let my son cry it out until I realized he needed some assistance to learn for himself that his mommy is not going to abandon him but he needs to go to sleep.  It is tough love, but at least I am there helping him to sooth himself. Every morning when he gets up, he is well rested and I am greeted by is sweet smiles :)  Trust me, it is not a bad thing, even pediatricians recommended this.





Then what you are doing is not really cio.  Cio is when you leave a child for 20 or so more minutes, never letting them know you are there and leaving them to fall asleep on their own in a dark room.



 



Newborns were in our wombs for 9 months, comfy  and close to us, they need, not just want, but NEED that comfort to survive outside the womb.  They are only little once, and they don't do it forever.  It's up to us as parents to give them the comfort they need.



 



The average 4 month old baby will sleep 5-6 hours, some longer some less.  You just have to deal with it until they are older.  Too many parents push their children to be independent too early and then we wonder why the kids end up with depression problems.  Maybe they didn't feel close enough to their parents when they were younger maybe?  Maybe they didn't get the comfort and security they needed?



 



Just something to think about.

Emily - posted on 02/06/2009

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Personally, we LOVE co-sleeping. It has seriously helped us get tons more sleep than before. My sister-in-law just had a brand new baby last Saturday, and was totally against co-sleeping. The second night home from the hospital she was thoroughly exhausted and her husband suggested she just bring the baby to bed with them. She LOVES co-sleeping now too!

I know co-sleeping is not for everyone, but there are other options to keep your baby close at night. If she has reflux and prefers to be in an incline while she sleeps, or if she really likes the rocking in a car-seat... look into the Amby bed. It's basically a baby hammock that hangs next to your bed. If she stirs at night, her own stirring will rock her back to sleep, and you can change the incline of the bed. http://www.ambybaby.com/

Also, by far my favorite book on infant sleep is the "No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/ She's got some great gentle tips for helping infants sleep longer stretches and self-soothe, and she also has an extensive list of physical or developmental reasons why babies may not sleep long stretches (like teething or a developmental milestone... like rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking, etc), as well as some good ways to help them through those rough periods.

Good luck!!

Mary Jane - posted on 02/06/2009

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Please, please don't just let her cry. Babies should not be left to cry at 4.5 months old. It doesn't sound like that's something you want to do. It's common for babies to go through growth spurts and want to cluster feed especially when you are breastfeeding. They will usually want to eat a lot at night during these spurts. The good news is it should pass when your milk supply catches up. You may want to get the reflux reevaluated though. She might need medication to control it. Are you trying to keep her awake a lot during the day? Also you may want to look into cosleeping especially since you are nursing. Babies usually sleep better next to mom and it may allow you to sleep more as well. There are safe ways to cosleep. I've coslept with all 8 of my children including my twins until they started sleeping through the night consistently which was always between 6 months and 1 year. I never lost any sleep.

Kimberly - posted on 04/23/2011

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i have been there with my now 8 month old i am so glad it didnt last long but i thought i was going to loose it when he wouldnt sleep either for weeks. i tryd alot of different things i had him sleeping in his swing and his car seat any where he would sleep for a moment i got some sleep but i also know i am a stay at home mom it was a little bit easier but not much lol

Kimberly - posted on 02/11/2009

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One more thing. In my breastfeeding book "The Ultimate Guide to Breastfeeding", it says that co-sleeping is very safe for breast fed babies. It says that breast fed babies sleep lower near the mother's chest away from pillows and nursing mothers always face their babies.

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Tei - posted on 03/26/2014

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I am going through the same thing, my 4.5 month old does not sleep through the night and also throw tantrums in his sleep that will not stop until I wake him up, then he's up for an hour or so before he is ready to sleep while nursing. I am so sleep deprived that I have become short tempered and moody. I asked his doctor what I could do to improve his sleeping habits and he told me it will eventually improve. I am desperate for one night of uninterrupted sleep.

Alison - posted on 02/12/2009

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I'm glad to hear that, Crystal! More parents should be aware of who is giving them advice - due diligence, people!

Crystal - posted on 02/12/2009

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Not even that, he is trying to write about raising an newborn/infant and he's not an expert in anything. He is not a doctor, doesn't hold a doctorate in anything, he knows next to nothing about breastfeeding or sleep habits of newborns and he pulls facts and advice out of the air. He also takes scripture out of context to say that's how God wants it, when it's not even true. That's why so many churches are pulling their support out from behind Mr. Ezzo.

Crystal - posted on 02/11/2009

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I don't see where I was defensive, and I was providing more information than just for you, it was for everyone to read.

Bobbie - posted on 02/11/2009

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Try Prevacid! I saved our lives. I didn't sleep longer then an hour for 8 months of my breastfeeding journey. I had to take dozens of things out of my diet and still no luck. I ended up putting her on  hypoallergenic formula called Nutramigen at 8 months old. the frist day I switched she was a different baby. She still has reflux bad though. We have tryed weaning her off about 8 times now with no luck.



If it was not for the Prevacid and the formula combanation I think we may not have made it. I know now why some mothers go off the deep end. Not kinding. At the end my baby was waking every hour to nurse and this went on for about two months before I crakced and had a nervous break down. Please whatever you do get some help. Call a lactation consultant call your Dr and demand that things start getting better soon. I would also get a good therapist it will help! I wish I would have done that cause most days I was so tired and emotinal that I was a mess. I would cry at the drop of a hat and trow things just to try and feel better. I



I use to think that I was cursed with a baby that hated me and that she was the devil but I know now that she just is really sensitive to many foods and has a bad case of reflux that will be with her so some time. She is now 9 months old and doing well. Learning to crawl and a joy to be around.

Emily - posted on 02/11/2009

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I agree that cry-it-out has different meanings for different people. The main type of cry-it-out I'm totally against, is when a parent leaves a child alone in a room to cry until they fall asleep. I have no problem with a child crying in the arms of a parent, or with a parent crying right alongside a child while trying to help them fall asleep. I have also allowed my children to cry while they fall asleep... but always when DH or I are with them. When they're done nursing and still won't fall asleep, I curl up next to them and hold them until they're asleep. Just last night #3 (13 months) decided she was done nursing and didn't want to snuggle, so she just flopped around on our bed, fussing a bit, while DH read a book out loud to me. Then she finally laid down on my pillow with her head next to mine and fell asleep. DH moved her to her crib mattress on the floor and she slept 8 1/2 hours.

Babies who are left completely alone do stop crying because they realize their attempt at communication does not get them anything, so they stop attempting to communicate. Babies who cry in the arms of a parent, learn that their parents will still be there for them, and learn to trust that their parents know what's best. They still communicate, but since they trust their parents, they learn to fight less and accept more.

Kimberly - posted on 02/11/2009

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My sweet baby slept like an angel until 4 months. At 4 months she starting teething and was waking up every 2 hours. She is now 7 months old and still wakes up every 3 hours. We have tried every method. Crying it out, letting her sleep on tummy, rigid schedule, ect. I work and pump so she gets a bottle all day. I read that breast fed babies like to make up for lost time with their mother at night. That makes a lot of sense to me! I was against co-sleeping. I was waking up every 2 hours and feeding her and putting her back in her crib. I was so sleep deprived that I was losing my mind. Now my sweet angel sleeps in our bed every night and I let her eat when she wants. Babies miss us and I think there is nothing wrong with giving them time, even at night time. Now that she is in my bed I can feed her with out hardly waking. I am feeling much better in the morning!

Vanessa - posted on 02/11/2009

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I have the same isues and decided I was far too sleep obsessed and she was picking up on my angst every time I put her down as I ws sure she wouldnt sleep. Its hard to be confident and put them down epecting them to slep when insude you know they wont but it does help.



I would go bac to swaddling and set a routine that works new sleep assiciations in there. With Anastasia I swaddle her, feed her (breast fed babies like a feed just before sleep), put her down, turn on some music, draw the curtains, give her a kiss and say good night and walk away. SOmetimes I need to put a pacifier in her mouth but I'm weaning her off this part of the routine and she knows once she is swaddled a sleep is expected and will do it.



I co sleep with her over night and have for many months. In her cot I give her a shirt I have been wearing so she has the smell of me close and it really works well for her day sleeps.



Good Luck, I now how hard it is, my hubby hasnt slept in bed with me for 2 months because of this issue but its getting better and try to enjoy it, she wont be there when she is 18 so it will stop.

Crystal - posted on 02/11/2009

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Babies who are left to cry it out don't stop crying because they learn to self-soothe, they stop crying because they realize that they've been abandon and what else is there to do. It's cruel and you can get babies to sleep more comfortably if you teach them how to be comforted rather than force them to realize you don't care enough to comfort them.

Emily - posted on 02/11/2009

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Not every baby takes to crying it out even if the parents are willing to try it. We tried it briefly with our oldest when she was about a year old. She screamed until she threw up, then ended up with other attachment issues for weeks afterward (issues she didn't have at all before we tried) and this was only one night. After that one night she would start to scream every time she even saw her crib... whether we were with her or not.

For our family, co-sleeping worked much better. Everyone got the sleep they needed and the comfort/snuggle time they needed also. Now we have three wonderful sleepers. Our 3 1/2 and 2 1/2 year olds share a room where they each have their own twin bed. They spend all night in their room 95% of the time. Occasionally they will climb into our bed around 4am and spend the rest of the night with us. Our 13 month old spent her first 11 months in a crib pushed flush against our bed, with one rail taken off. She is currently sleeping on a crib mattress on the floor of our room. About half the time she spends the whole night there (8-10 hours) before climbing into our bed around 5 or 6. If her molars are bothering her (she's currently cutting 6 teeth all at the same time, she'll climb into our bed around 2 or 3 to comfort nurse back to sleep.

Co-sleeping has definitely been the best solution for our family and we plan to continue to co-sleep with all future children. I am a firm believer that as long as children are able to self-soothe (See the "No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley for great tips on that front), they will begin to sleep longer stretches and sleep through the night when they are developmentally ready. If they are not ready, or if there is another physical need not being met (temperature, hunger, thirst, pain from teething, or other illness), crying it out is not going to solve the problem anyway.

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I suggest reading the book "The Baby Whisperer" and - gasp - letting her cry it out.  I know you say you're not up for that, but after 3 nights the problem is normally solved, and it will be better for everyone in the long run - so all can get some sleep.

Andrea - posted on 02/10/2009

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I have to swaddle my son really tightly in a recieving blanket sometimes to get him to stay asleep.  Sometimes he gets busy with his hands when he's drifting in and out and wakes himself up.  I'm having trouble with the bottle too.  Luckily I only leave him for a few hours a week to volunteer.  I've found that having someone feed him the bottle in the same place that I usually nurse him really helps.  Good luck!!

Jenefer - posted on 02/10/2009

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I have a 3 month old and she was up every 3 hours until 5 weeks. I then started giving her a bottle of forumla before bed and breastfeeding the rest of the time. She now sleeps from 7.00 p.m. - 11.00 p.m. has a feed before we go to bed and then sleeps till 8.30 a.m. I know lots of friends who do the same, and it's like a miracle! It took a few nights from starting the formula and she did 4 hours, then 5 then 6 etc... Good luck! 

Katherine - posted on 02/10/2009

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This sounds like what we went through about 1.5 months ago. A friend of mine pointed me to this link: http://www.askmoxie.org/2006/02/qa_what_... about the 4 month sleep regression. It lasted about 2 weeks for us, and now we're back to sleeping 2.5 - 3 hour stretches. You also may want to try co-sleeping until this passes. It means you get a lot more sleep at night...or at least it does for us. :)

Kara - posted on 02/10/2009

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Wow! She is adorable! I know you said you aren't really up for letting her "cry it out" but I think you should try. Unfortunately, it is hardest on us parents then it is the little one. If she is clean fed and dry, she if fine...even though she might be screaming her head off. Also I started a night time rountine of bathing my son every night then feeding then down for night night. We had to the the letting him cry it out. In about a weeks time he finally figured it all out. My doctor said they learn to self soothe and she was absoultely right. There were times when he cried solid for an hour and a half but we got through it. I'm a breastfeeding Mom too. People told me with the whole bottle thing...they'll eat when they get hungry. My friend's little girl went a day and a half but she finally ate. Hope this helps!! Just remember...it will get better!

Jessi - posted on 02/10/2009

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Well, if you are desparate and aren't ready for the crying it out, and she sleeps fine on you, then I would recomend bed sharing. I know it sounds scared because of SIDS, but at 4 months their risk is lowered anyway. I couldn't get any sleep with my daughter and was about to lose my mind. I kept moving her closer and closer into bed until I just gave in. It solved the sleep problem. It also taught her that nighttime is for sleeping, so when I moved her into her own crib she didn't have any problems. I broke all the rules too. She was sleeping curled right up next to me and was covered with blankets. She was completely fine. I really think it is natural to sleep with your little one. I think most babies really don't feel comfortable sleeping for long periods without you. As far as taking a bottle, don't give up trying because if you don't consistantly do it every day they can stop taking it all together. That what my little girl did. So I don't get very long breaks away from her. Babies know what they want! Good luck. I hope you and your little one start getting some sleep!

Erin - posted on 02/10/2009

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My baby is almost 4 1/2 months ans she is the same way and has been since 3 1/2 months. She used to do a 5 hour stretch then a 3 and then 2 two hour stretches but now she is up every hour or two all night. I found out they have a sleep regression during this time because they are going through a neurological growth spurt and they will go back to normal when it's over. I'm on week 5 of it and i'm exausted. It is suppose to end soon though, apparently! I bought the book the Wonder Weeks and it is amazing. It explains everything they are going through and why they are doing it. This article says more about it. http://www.askmoxie.org/2006/02/qa_what_...

Sarah - posted on 02/09/2009

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The Happiest Baby On The Block book is GREAT! And I have always used a white noise machine wherever we are sleeping. (my babies are always in our room while they are tiny) I don't have a machine that will stay on consistently so I turn a radio on to a static station fairly loud and it works great. My son (12 weeks old) hears that and he relaxes right away. Good luck! I know your pain, but she WILL sleep through the night eventually. One year or less of sleep deprivation is nothing compared to a lifetime of good nights!

Brooke - posted on 02/09/2009

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Oh gosh I can feel your pain!! My son (now 13mths) was the worst sleeper from birth - he screamed night & day!! I was totally exhausted & surviving on 20mins of sleep once or twice a night for ages...

I just wanted to say to you, try it all - but unfortunately your bub just may be a bub who is sensitive & will cry no matter what you try - I tried EVERYTHING!! Just keep reminding yourself that this stage doesn't last forever, my bub started to sleep longer after 6mths or so & has been sleeping through now for a few months (unless he gets sick or teethes). Looking back I just think it was his nature - everything so new, sense, smells, hearing things, nappies, tummy pains, and then teething, colds, growth spurts, developmental spurts - he just was really sensitive to it all. I wouldn't recommend the crying out either - I think they cry because they need us - however after 6mths there are ways to teach them to sleep - contact your community nurses & get some support. All the best!!

Jeannine - posted on 02/09/2009

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try the tummy...my kids all had acid reflux and they couldn't sleep on their backs...incline or not. 

[deleted account]

I thought of something else. Do you use a pacifier? We did and it was doing more harm than good, so we got rid of it and that has made a big difference. It's a little hard at first, you have to be ready for more crying (it's not a bad thing if your baby cries, so long as they're not crying alone), but it's worth it. I've heard from a lot of other moms in the same situation that getting rid of the paci helped them too.

Just a thought. Hope that helps!

Rebecca - posted on 02/08/2009

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My baby was a great sleeper until she was 3 1/2 months old.  When I talked to her dr about it he suggested starting her on solids so she has more substance to last through the night.  She now sleeps most of the night. 



I do co-sleep with her and she won't sleep by herself, but that is a battle for another day, at least we are both getting sleep at night.  I was worried at first to co-sleep our bed is very high and just a queen size as well and my husband also sleeps like a rock. (When she was a newborn and sleeping in the bassinet next to us she would wake up crying wanting to nurse a few times a night and my husband never even stirred, in the morning he would say, wow she slept all night.) So I just keep her close to me and I am aware of her.  You just have to do what works best for you and talk to your pediatrician. 

Elizabeth - posted on 02/07/2009

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My baby had reflux and was really gassy and wouldn't sleep. Turns out he was allergic to cow's milk (also goat's and sheep's). He was getting it through my breast milk. So after a week or two of not eating any dairy myself, he was fine. This included butter. We also kept cosleeping so that I could feed him while I slept. (see articles on "safe co-sleeping). We used his changing pad for him to sleep on. Then I can easily scoot him back and forth without waking him up to change nursing sides. I just flop over the opposite boob. Also easy to pick up and put him on the floor temporarily so that I can have private time with my husband after he falls asleep. Then we just bring him back up on the bed in the changing pad. Hope this helps.

[deleted account]

For the short term is it possible to sleep in shifts and/or involve grandparents. My son was always quite a good sleeper but when he was going through his growing spurts it was difficult as I was breastfeeding and hated using a pump so it was up to me. However I had a great support network around me so was able to get enough rest to get by. As for her not taking a bottle from you husband maybe they need a little one on one time together. I was very overprotective with my little boy and always wanted to be there with him, but I realised he needed to make bonds with everyone we know and this meant leaving him to my partner to play, bathe and cuddle.

I also agree with Margot, my son was a tummy sleeper and liked having his black and white zebra that we played with most of the day to snuggle up to.

I can only go off my experiance with my little monster but I hope some of it you find useful and good luck.

Katie - posted on 02/07/2009

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I had one of these:
http://www.target.com/Baby-Delight-Delux...

And these also looked good, but I couldn't afford one:
http://www.target.com/Arms-Reach-Mini-Co...

This may be a safe solution to co sleeping. I'm having similar problems and whereas mine is a little better at 6 months then he was at 2-3 months, we are about to start the No-Cry Sleep Solution based on good Amazon.com reviews.

Also, it may be a temperature thing. I don't know where you live, but the temperature has dropped a lot here over the past two weeks. Maybe her bed is colder then it was?

You can still swaddle a 4.5 month old and if she wiggles out of it, you can try: http://www.target.com/Kiddopotamus-Co-Co...
which worked for us. My son has had ants in his pants since birth and this was the only thing that kept him swaddled. After we did it, though, he calmed down. Plus, it's very warm.

Elaina - posted on 02/06/2009

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Listen to that woman who has 8 kids!



She says not to let your baby cry it out.  I totally agree.  It is too painful for me and for my daughter to follow that method.



She was the same, only slept for 3 hours at night.  I just started a routine and kept with it.  Put her in her crib for her first stretch of sleep and when she woke up we co-slept and nursed until 10am.  Now I barely have to co-sleep with her, though I love sleeping with her.



You will get through this. Slowly but surly.

Margot - posted on 02/06/2009

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Quoting Margot:

Okay so I had this problem with my second child. She was fine until she was about 4 mths and then she would wake up every 10 minutes through the night. I always laid her on her back once she was asleep, so one night I tried laying her on her tummy just to see what would happen and she slept for 4 hours straight. That night I slept (barely) on the floor next to her crib. I was so paranoid about SIDS or her sleeping on her face and not being able to breathe. But my husband reminded me that our eldest would roll from her back to her tummy and sleep that way too. I know they say back to sleep, tummy to play, but they al eventually roll to their tummies. That and maybe establish a bedtime routine and stick to it. Good luck I hope this helps.



I should say that my oldest and my second child both had a form of reflux.   My ped doc.  told me to eliminate somethings in my diet and all was good.  We tried the elevation thing, so that their little tummies would settle, but they still prefered to sleep on their tummies.   No matter what the situation is every baby is different.  And different things work for different babies.  1st and foremost is to figure out if it is the reflux that is keeping her up.  I totally agree with cosleeping.  We do with our 3 mth old now and did with our other 2 for a bit.  It's comforting for everyone involved.  Please Please don't do the "cry it out" method.  I am a firm believer that there is always a better way to comfort your little one.  They are crying for a reason, even if it's just because they want to "just" cry, there is always a way to divert their attention.  Maybe take a bath with her  and then nurse her in a quiet room with some soft lullies in the background.  Just some suggestions.  In the end everything will workout. 

Christina - posted on 02/06/2009

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sleep with your baby and let her nusrse when se wants to .. u will both get good rest. and some babies cvannot sleep on a full stomach.

[deleted account]

I started having sleeping problems with my son at about 4 months. He too was never a really good sleeper, but he went from not so good to horrific almost over night, and has been waking every hour as well for over a month now.

I tried many things. Finally I read the Baby Whisperer by Tracey Hogg, and got some really good info on how to get him into a routine to help influence his sleep. Also, I have discovered the Baby Whisperer Forum on the website, and through there have connected with so many other mothers who have the exact same problem with their babies at the exact same age. You're not alone! It seems around this time many babies start having serious problems with night wakings. Being able to communicate with these other moms has been a great help, we all share ideas of what has worked and not worked for us, and you can get some great advice. I recommend checking it out.

My sond is 5 months and we're still working on the night waking and short napping problem, but it's getting better every day.

Good luck!

Barbara - posted on 02/06/2009

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Quoting Denise:



I will start by staying....You will get through this. I had similar problems. I love the book babywise by dr. enzo. Second it is all about routine. It takes 3 days to create a bad habit i.e.; letting them sleep on you ( I know why you do just for some peace) but it takes 4-5 days to break a habit. So pick a place for naps and sleep and stick to it. My son had reflux too we did the carseat as well. The incline in the crib will work just have to train them to sleep in their own bed. I started with letting him cry for 5min-7min then going in putting my hand on his back and verbally reassuring him if you pick them up you are done. They I would leave the or sit in a chair and talk to him which ever your heart will allow you to do. Ultimately I work up to over lots of time to letting him cry for 20- 30 min. Take a shower take a walk give the monitor to you husband. She will be fine. Babies cry that is what they do. You are no good to her if you are not rested.






 






 






 




Good luck and read babywise....it has a feeding schedule inside too she should be giving you at least five hours a night between 4 and 5 months.

 






 





I would NOT put any faith in the book Babywise.  It is under a lot of public scrutiny at the moment.  The AAP has documented 35 unsubstantiated claims in it meaning they are just Dr.Ezzo's opinion, not proven facts.



Also, pediatricians have found that the children of parents who follow the guidelines in the book have a higher incidence of dehydration, failure to thrive, and inadequate weight gain.  I don't want to scare you, I'm sure your child is just fine.  I just thought you'd like to know!  There is a lot of info out there on the whole thing if you google it.

DD - posted on 02/06/2009

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I want to add, that while I did cosleep, it may not be an option for you. Some people are just not comfortable with it, and every family is different.  There are many many books out there to read.  I also do not agree with Babywise or Ferber..but The NO Cry Sleep solution helped tremendously.  There are several others out there.  Don't give up!  And, don't think there is just ONE answer to any problem when dealing with babies! 

Mary Jane - posted on 02/06/2009

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Quoting Laurie:

Thanks for your post. She is on 1cc Zantac twice a day and it has helped tremendously, It may be time to talk to the dr about an increase (although I hate the whole med idea to begin with). As for co-sleeping - I have a queen wooden platform bed with cushioningn etc that makes me afraid to co-sleep.



Have you considered getting a cosleeper or a nest for the bed. One Step Ahead used to sell them. Whatever you do, please don't follow Babywise. Babies need to be comforted and nurtured while they adjust to the world not to be trained like animals. There are plenty of reasons not to use Babywise or the Ferber method of sleep training. Dr Sears has some great tips on safe cosleeping. I agree with another poster though to nurse, nurse, nurse because if this is a growth spurt she needs to get your milk supply up and nursing frequently is the only way to do this. Lots of hugs, this too shall pass.

Sharon - posted on 02/06/2009

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There's always the option of putting the mattress on the floor and not using the bed frame.  You can push the mattress up to a wall.  Baby should not be between you and hubby; only you and wall.  The convenience of having her right next to you at night may more than make up for the inconvenience of changing your bed situation. 



 



BTW, studies have shown that extended bouts of crying seriously hurts children.  Babies cry because that is their only form of communication.  We all expect our loved ones to respond to us when we communicate to them, why should our babies expect any less from us?

Crystal - posted on 02/06/2009

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Have you considered co-sleeping? You may all get more sleep that way. I would suggest not using babywise as it has been linked to malnutrition in babies. She may also just be having a growth spurt and needs to eat more often.

Maryann - posted on 02/06/2009

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Get Babywise...read it and follow it...I started it when my baby was two weeks old. It is a miracle. Babies only know what we teach them...so teach them your way. I know this is hard but it will pass and life will be easier once you get your precious baby on a schedule. Babywise saved me!!!

Amie - posted on 02/06/2009

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She is probably going through a growth spurt. Nurse, nurse, nurse...all the time if you can to get that milk supply up! I may take some flack for this, but, I always sleep with my babies. Especially during growth spurts because then I can just lay there and she can suck all night long if she wants without really waking me. And, whatever you do, remember this is only temporary. I thought I was going to die from lack of sleep with my first baby, but when she finally did sleep through the night, I missed the night nursing. Yeah, you read that right, I missed waking up at night and nursing her! You will get through this, just hold on, its a bumpy ride!

Laurie - posted on 02/06/2009

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Thanks for your post. She is on 1cc Zantac twice a day and it has helped tremendously, It may be time to talk to the dr about an increase (although I hate the whole med idea to begin with). As for co-sleeping - I have a queen wooden platform bed with cushioningn etc that makes me afraid to co-sleep.

Laurie - posted on 02/06/2009

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thanks for your post - as for the co=sleeping, we have not tried it yet. We have one of those wooden platform queen size beds -- not ideal for co-sleeping unless baby goes in the middle and I'm afraid because my husband is a deep sleeper. We also have soft mattress padding, lots blankets, etc. all the things they say not to have? So I have been trying just keeping her next to the bed lately instead?

Laurie - posted on 02/06/2009

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Thanks for writing Merideth, I too think its related to the reflux and it may be time to increase her does because she is getting bigger I just hate to increase med dose unnecessarily. Such a puzzle, so hard to figure out. My step sister sent me the amby baby hammock thingy from Florida to try (that's how desperate I have become!) so I will let you all know how it goes. Thanks for your share - makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one out there with this problem!

Sharon - posted on 02/06/2009

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As far as night sleeping goes, have you tried co-sleeping?  If you say she'll sleep for a good length of time on your chest, maybe she'll sleep well next to you.  Maybe the extra time next to you at night will make up for your absence during the day and help her take a bottle. 



 



Sometimes babies go through periods of short sleeping stretches due to different reasons- growth spurts, teething, learning a new skill.  This may just be temporary.  Best wishes.

Merideth - posted on 02/06/2009

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hang in there! my 5 mo old daughter sounds remarkably likes yours (not sleeping at night at all for the first two months, bad reflux, short naps, sleeps better on us/in carseat)  Things got better around 3 months then worse around 4 months. I thought it was teething too- tylenol didnt help.  Ive had a lot of theories, my current one is that it is a reflux thing.  Ive read as they get bigger and eat more they start having more reflux until they are old enough to sit up most of the time on their own. Pediatrician echoed this saying 8mo mark we should see improvement.  We got our daughter's medicine upped and started having her sleep in her carseat for naps and at night. (We had an incline sleeper thing but it didnt work as well) I place the carseat in the crib so she's off the floor and stays warmer.  Its still the baby seat so she's reclined but her head is higher than her stomach.  This is the only thing that has really helped. She still gets up several times a night but its made a huge improvement  in naps too.  I wouldnt let her cry it out.  Ive read with reflux babies it can make things worse. 

Kristy - posted on 02/06/2009

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Hello,  my daughter has reflux and had issues sleeping.  She now sleeps for about 3-4 hours at a time at night.  She is 13 weeks old.  As to the reflux has your doctor recomended to see if its a sensitivity to something your eating in your diet that she is getting in your breastmilk?  My daughter is sensitive to dairy.  My doctor had me go off of all dairy products for 2 weeks to see if it made a difference in her reflux, the first week it didnt and then all of a sudden the 2nd week it was significantly better!  If it wasnt then I would of gone off of wheat next to see if it was that and lastly tried going off of citrus.  I really liked that it was as easy as changing my diet rather than using any medications.



 



Hopefully this helps or at least you can talk to your doctor to see if it may help the reflux part.  Good luck and hopefully you get some sleep soon.

[deleted account]

I read the book "healthy sleep habits, happy child" It discusses "cry it out" solutions and "no cry" solutions, so you can decide. It mostly discusses different ways to get the best sleep for everyone by working on specific problems. Also my son has reflux. We mix Rice cereal in a bottle twice a day and that really helps.

Denise - posted on 02/06/2009

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I will start by staying....You will get through this. I had similar problems. I love the book babywise by dr. enzo. Second it is all about routine. It takes 3 days to create a bad habit i.e.; letting them sleep on you ( I know why you do just for some peace) but it takes 4-5 days to break a habit. So pick a place for naps and sleep and stick to it. My son had reflux too we did the carseat as well. The incline in the crib will work just have to train them to sleep in their own bed. I started with letting him cry for 5min-7min then going in putting my hand on his back and verbally reassuring him if you pick them up you are done. They I would leave the or sit in a chair and talk to him which ever your heart will allow you to do. Ultimately I work up to over lots of time to letting him cry for 20- 30 min. Take a shower take a walk give the monitor to you husband. She will be fine. Babies cry that is what they do. You are no good to her if you are not rested.







 





 



Good luck and read babywise....it has a feeding schedule inside too she should be giving you at least five hours a night between 4 and 5 months.



DD - posted on 02/06/2009

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My sons were/are this way.  I'm sorry to say.  It's so frustrating, but some babies just aren't sleepers.  We tried everything with my 1st and are in the process of trying everything with the 2nd.  What helped with my 1st was cosleeping and then around 10 months old I started a rigid schedule.  I read Baby wise ( and threw it out) and The NO Cry Sleep solution.  That's the book that helped me.  I jsut knew my 2nd would sleep...but noooooo.  He is better than my 1st, but not much.  If they are hurting or teething, there really isn't much we can do but hold them and comfort them and nurse them...as frustrating, exhausting and miserable as that is.  One thing I do know...it doesn't last forever...even though it feels like it.  GOOD LUCK!  Here's wishing peaceful sleep for you and your little one.

Margot - posted on 02/06/2009

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Okay so I had this problem with my second child. She was fine until she was about 4 mths and then she would wake up every 10 minutes through the night. I always laid her on her back once she was asleep, so one night I tried laying her on her tummy just to see what would happen and she slept for 4 hours straight. That night I slept (barely) on the floor next to her crib. I was so paranoid about SIDS or her sleeping on her face and not being able to breathe. But my husband reminded me that our eldest would roll from her back to her tummy and sleep that way too. I know they say back to sleep, tummy to play, but they al eventually roll to their tummies. That and maybe establish a bedtime routine and stick to it. Good luck I hope this helps.

Naomi - posted on 02/06/2009

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Have you tried giving any medicine for the reflux. Liquid gaviscon it helped my older son with reflux sleep and it is what my doctor told me to give him after evey feeding but especially at night when it seems to flare up more. Maybe a different nipple on the bottle might help. She may be getting more from you and not having to work so hard as with the bottle.

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