DIRTY LOOKS

Felecia - posted on 03/22/2009 ( 28 moms have responded )

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well I was breastfeeding my 4 month old daughter at a school screening (for my 4 year old boy) and the lady infront of me gave me the worst look I have ever seen, (like I was breastfeeding a 12 yr old or some thing) Than when I went to get up she cover her sons eyes as if my boobs were just gonna fly out of my shirt... Its not like I had not covered us up with a blanket.. you really could not see any thing!!!! I thought breastfeeding was more excepted than this! I have found only 1 person in my life who supports me giving my child the best gift ever.. Sad thing is the lady is not even in my family : (... IM SO UPSET!!!

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Gillian - posted on 03/24/2009

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You keep doing what you are doing its the best gift ever for sure, Im on feeding number 2 and hes 9 months and I don't care now where I feed Im discreet stuff the lot of them.

Evelyn - posted on 03/22/2009

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It's funny but the first thing I look for when I go out, is a place where i can breasfeed. I prefer somewhere quiet for my 7 month old, but if he gets hungry I'm not going to deny him. It's as simple as that. If people have a problem with this they can go and jump!



You are a great mum, don't let others make you think you are not! Breasfeeding is so important, and you can't deny your child.

Anneke - posted on 03/22/2009

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I dont get why some people go on like that about breast feeding its natural and around longer than bottle feeding. It should be encoraged not looked on in disgust. Some poeple are just ignorant about the whole thing. Your breasts are for feeding a baby and nothing else, they are so ignorant they see them as sexual objects. Breast have been exploited in sexual way for years thats why showing your breast is bad. Stupid yes. I havnt been in public yet doing it as i am still recovering from a bad labour but i do cover myself a bit only because my own boobs embarass me. But no one gives a crap that comes in my house they all say its whats best for baby.



#



breast is best.





Michelle - posted on 03/22/2009

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This has happend to me a few times. Once in a mothercare feeding room if you can believe that. It shocks me how people can feel this way about the most natural and beautiful thing in the world. Dont let it upset you, some people are just very small minded. It always bothers me but id never stop feeding her in public.

Melinda - posted on 03/22/2009

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Don't let people like that bother you. You are doing what's best for your baby. Keep it up

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Misty - posted on 03/30/2009

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You should of given her a little squirt...something worth a dirty look...flipped the bird at the same time! haha  Maybe she didnt want to have to explain to her son why you were breastfeeding and then where the birds and bees come from! ahah old biddy.  never you mind about feeding your children in public mate, its a beautiful and natural thing.

Felecia - posted on 03/29/2009

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Thank you all for sharing your stories with me and supporting me through this time in my life.. Brittni Bunce I teared up than laughed that girl had it coming!! Thank you for the smile.. Here soon me and my kids are taking trip to the zoo and few other places.. I have thought long and hard about it ,and since the little kids are around and watching (they may not be able to understand cause of their mothers did not breastfeed them) Instead of the blanket because its gonna be hot I am gonna take a umbrella stick it under my arm and cover us up.. It is the most wonderful thing in the world to me and I am going to keep it up.. THANK YOU ALL.. ITS SO GOOD TO KNOW THAT OTHER MOMS IN THE WORLD ARE BREASTFEEDING STILL TOO... GOD BLESS YA ALL..

Michele - posted on 03/29/2009

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It is crazy that people react like that...don't they know how hormonal new mothers can be! I try to remember that they are just ignorant and if they have children of their own I feel badly for them because they missed out on a wonderful bonding activity. Deciding to exculsively breastfeed is the best choice I've ever made!!

Sarah - posted on 03/29/2009

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I find it funny that people get so offended by women that breastfeed in public, but I think they would be far more put off by a hungry, screaming baby! I breastfeed in public and don't cover up but am discreet. I'm not going to deprive my child for someone elses comfort. I figure if they don't want to see, they don't have to watch. Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms protects your right to breastfeed in public. Anywhere a child can legally be, a woman can legally breastfeed. Protect your civil rights and continue to exercise them whenever and wherever you want!

Jodie - posted on 03/29/2009

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I do not cover up when nursing my 12 month old, even when he was tiny. If someone has a problem with it, it is exactly that THEIR PROBLEM. They can feel free to cover their head with a blanket. Breastfeeding is what nature intended for babies. That I believe is the sole purpose for a woman's breasts. The general public needs to get over their issue with this so women and babies don't have to get so uptight about it. Humans are the only species who drink another animals milk and I think it's wrong!

Brittni - posted on 03/29/2009

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I can't believe how dumb people are!! I totally understand where you are coming from... My baby started crying when my husband and I were out to eat today and I knew she was hungry... so I decided in order to not get nasty looks I would leave the resturant and go to my car to nurse... I was sitting in the front seat nursing my baby with a nursing shirt on so you could see VERY VERY little with the window rolled down because it was hot... another lady walks out of the resturant walks past my car (mind you with most of her boobs hanging out of her immodest shirt) and said "ew find a better place to do that" to her friend walking beside her... I was thinking you are showing more than I am!!! Then I hear "That was really rude... shes doing whats best for her child... next time when you go out to a resturant find a better place to eat" Some random older lady that was walking into the resturant with her husband said that to her... the older lady came up to my window and said "sorry if you heard that... back in my day breastfeeding was perfectly normal and not looked down upon... I feel its my duty to keep it that way for new mothers like you" I was so excited to have someone that I didn't even know openly stand up for me! It has motivated me to also stand up for other breastfeeding mothers when people give them rude looks or comments... so I think if we all start doing that to each other we might find a little more support and acceptace

Jessica - posted on 03/28/2009

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People just get uncomfortable with the whole issue of breastfeeding! But don't quit. It is for your baby, and you! It is the best bond ever. So what if someone is uncomfortable w/ it. They could, um, NOT LOOK, or just leave. It's not like you always have the perfect place to nurse. :)

Ashley - posted on 03/28/2009

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When that happens again (which I'm sure it will) I would say something like "I'm sorry, is my baby eating offending you? " And if they're still rude say "I'm sorry, next time I'll tell her she has to wait to eat so that you don' t have to be bothered by it"  If they're going to be inappropriate and rude, put them in their place and give it right back.  If it would make you more comfortable not to have to worry about those people, I would highly recommend getting a Hooter Hider.  It has a strap around your neck, covers a wide area, and has a wide opening in the top so you can check on them without anyone else being able to see.

Rachel - posted on 03/28/2009

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For all of the dirty looks I got, I also had a lot of smiles :) I was nursing my son at a street fair in Austin TX once and a couple stopped by to see the "sleeping" baby--when they realized he was actually nursing, they told him he was lucky to have such a great mom who fed him the way he was supposed to be fed :) People with the dirtiest looks get my "well, I'm not going to eat food filled with chemicals so why would I give my son crap-in-a-can?" :p My son is three and a half now and he still points at formula in the stores and tells anyone who will listen that it is "eeeewwwwww! Yucky!" And he randomly tells people that baby number two (due in six weeks) will get milk from mommy cause its "nummy"

Felecia - posted on 03/26/2009

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Thank you all again I dont know of any La Leche League but I will For sure look into it.. and I actually breastfed infront of people tonight and didnt get all freaked out when they looked so its gonna get better, and in time it will just be another thing i do i will not even think twice lol

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Good grief.  They need to get over themselves.  You've gotta know there are thousands if not millions of women out there doing the same thing and good for you for being able to do the best for your baby.  All you can do is do your best to be discrete and they'll just have to deal with their own issues.  Is there a La Leche League in your community?  I've never gone but I've heard they are very supportive and helpful.

Christine - posted on 03/25/2009

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Some people are ignorant. Good for you for giving your daughter exactly what she is entitled to. They deserve nothing less. I support you as I am doing the same with my 5 month old son.

Danielle - posted on 03/25/2009

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Oh hun, don't let all those ignorant people get to you...just think one day you will be able to say see that is why when their child is always sick and yours isn't. I look at it this way...we can watch television shows and read magazines and billboards with all sorts of body parts hanging out yet these same people think breastfeeding is wrong and act like you are flashing the world. Well There is something wrong there and the difference is a nursing mom is actually more covered than several we see walking around dressed in barley anything and I state this to anyone that wants to look down on me for nursing my children in public.
I even nurse right there at the table if we go out to eat. I have had a few people look at me in disgust and a couple nosy women have even had the gall to say can't you go do that in the bathroom in private. Flat out without thinking every time my response it.." NO I will NOT go feed my child in the restroom, Lat me know when you are ready to have your meal there, and then MAYBE I will think about it!" Yep they usually think twice and I have even gotten a few apologies after that statement.

Holly - posted on 03/25/2009

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Sorry to hear that happened. Some people are just so rude!

When I nurse my one year old in public...I don't even really cover up. And...if people give me dirty looks I just give a friendly smile as if to say "what I am doing is completely natural!"

Felecia - posted on 03/24/2009

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Thank you all you guys are so sweet and give me so much support..  Its funny cause I dont even breastfeed infront of the grandparents on the fathers side (in my own home) cause I think it would make them to uncomfortable and dont know if they would visit as much.. (they visit about every other week )  and my almost 4 yr old son loves his grandpa (and grandma) but grandpas the fun one lol   and thats the only people we have in our life right now.. so its important to me they stay in his life.. (not that I would ever think my breastfeeding Dekota would stop them but he loves their visits) But i think i am just gonna say screw it and if no one likes it they can leave I do already do the shirt thing because im shy about any one seeing my baby fat lol but ill let go........ heck im not gonna make my baby heat sick for anyone............ she needs to eat just like every one!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Thank you all again

Lindsay - posted on 03/24/2009

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I agree with all of the posts! Keep nursing! Do whatever is most comfortable for you and your baby and the "public" can learn to deal! Perhaps to lift your spirits just a bit...when I nurse my 6 month old son, my 2 year old daughter often pulls her shirt up and says, "Catrina nurse too!" while holding her doll to her tummy! Even one step further, she will put her cup to her tummy and tell me, "Catrina pump!" Can you just imagine what the "public" would say about that??!! lol

Amanda - posted on 03/24/2009

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There will always be ignorant people who frown on breast feeding. Just remember breast is best! I've been there too. With my first son, I was sitting on a bench in a restroom, covered with a blanket, and a woman was just appauled at the fact that I was nursing in front of her. You have every right, and should be proud to nurse your little one where ever and whenever you wish.

Deborah - posted on 03/23/2009

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hi, ive breastfed all 5 of my children, i know exactly how you feel,

i no longer go to the mothers rooms to feed my babies, i just feed when they get hungry, and to hell with everyone else!

there is no difference between my toddler eating his lunch in a food court, and my baby having his at the same time.

i have been abused, and i stand my ground and tell them how it is... we eat in public, so why cant our babies? i never expose my breast, i always wear breastfeeding tops, and i am discreet, yet it is still expected that we should go feed our babies in private.



totally ridiculous if you ask me!

we are in the yr 2009 arent we??? some people behave like its 1909!

Itsamystery - posted on 03/23/2009

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Aw, you're welcome Felecia. You really are giving your baby the greatest gift. She'll be healthier, smarter, and have a beautiful bond with her momma.

As for summer, you could take two approaches, the first is to not give a stuff and breastfeed wherever you are without worrying about a cover. The second is strategic dressing. If you wear a singlet and t-shirt/top You can pull the t-shirt up and the singlet down and except for the 2 seconds it takes to latch, no-one should see a thing coz the t-shirt covers your top half and the singlet your bottom half. That's if it's not too hot for a singlet and t-shirt.

I always wear tops that have a scooped neck, so that I can easily pull the top down and feed. It kinda leaves the top of my breast a bit exposed, but nothing more than when someone wears a low cut top (which people do all the time I might add!). I find that because I don't have a problem with breastfeeding, most people are fine. Anyone who stares I just hold their gaze and smile. I'm very adamant that breastfeeding anywhere is a mother's and a baby's right, and anyone who doesn't like it can go jump or look away.

Felecia - posted on 03/23/2009

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Over all thank you every one you gave me the support i really really needed..I think i am finally over it lol I just wish it was more breast than bottle any more cuz it is such a great thing yeah it has its ups and downs but just looking in the eyes of the baby is so wonderful, I do love it!!!!!!! I think ill limit places i go for right now!!! But any advice on what i should do when summer really gets here she already sweats alittle putting blanket over us and its chilly here????????

Felecia - posted on 03/23/2009

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Thank you so much kate you almost made me cry i dont get any support for breastfeeding and i am doing my best with what i know i am so glad i found this site

Itsamystery - posted on 03/22/2009

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I'm so sorry that she was so rude. Some people are very backwards and uninformed about how wonderful, healthy and beautiful breastfeeding is. Try not to let it get to you. It's her problem that she is prejudiced about one of the most fundamentally natural human activities. It's definitely NOT your fault for giving your child the best nutrition and emotional bond she will ever have in her life. Try not to let it deter you from feeding in public in the future. Rude and uneducated people like that are quite rare. Good on you for giving your child the best possible start in life!

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