Do you feel comfortable BFing in public?

Stina - posted on 08/08/2010

Don't be too hard on yourself. With my first child I felt odd sitting on a quiet park bench with my husband on my potentially exposed side. I used to leave stores to sit in the car to nurse.

I'm nursing my third child (15mo) and nurse her wherever we are. I even nursed her in the waiting area at our community college the other day. I was a little self conscious and made sure to sit along the same wall as a young man in the room instead of directly across from him. I didn't want to be hiding in another room when I was called in for a drop in appointment with an advisor.

Nursing comfortably in public takes practice. Start small. When I feel nervous, I tell myself that the only way for public BF to become commonplace is if I help make it common.

Anastasia - posted on 06/23/2010

I wear a tank top underneath and a tshirt on top...so you can't see anything...I usually quite enjoy it i learnt to amuse myself with the people who will turn around and sit somewhere else (esp teenage boys lol). But most people don't care, and ive never had someone stare.

Hanim - posted on 06/23/2010

completely ok...it is just one of the most beautiful thing in this world...

Colleen - posted on 06/23/2010

hello... yes i'm completely comfortable nursing almost anywhere. I wear a tank top underneath my shirt and I find this really helps. When I nurse I pull my shirt up and my tank top down. I've had pple not even realize that I'm nursing. I was a little shy nursing my first born in public but I got over that fairly quickly. He can't help it if he has good taste and will only drink the good stuff his Momma makes, and if anyone has a problem with that that is their problem.
Good Luck

Beverly - posted on 06/23/2010

I am very modest, but just whip out that coverup & let your baby eat! If people want to be rude/uncouth/ignorant about it that is their issue, not yours!

Nova - posted on 06/23/2010

I felt the same way with my first child. I was very concerned about what others thought and my family and I suffered because of that. It seemed most people were either indignant that I was breastfeeding at all, or they were bothered that I was more comfortable using a cover. I came to dread running errands and my life was dictated by when my daughter needed to nurse. In the last seven years I have learned a lot and while I am still not a fan of letting it all hang, I do not allow my baby’s feeding schedule to interfere with my life. If anything, the opposite has happened. Wherever I go and no matter how long I stay, I always have the perfect ready-to-go nutrition for my child.

Things I’ve learned:
1. Not all nursing covers are created equally. I have a Bebe Au Lait which allows you to see your little one in the act, is very generously sized and can keep things covered, private, and discrete (my personal style).
2. You may feel like some people are starring simply because they are; their curiosity or lack of manners is really not your problem.
3. It is perfectly okay retreat to a spare room or dressing-room if that makes you more comfortable.
4. You do not NEED to nurse prior to going inside. You will learn quickly from trial and error where you and your child are comfortable. For example,due to space constraints, I find that the booths at some restaurants are not conducive to a pleasant experience .
5. If someone’s gaze is making you uncomfortable you have options. I will generally do one of the following: smile and make eye-contact (as if to say, I see you too and I’m not leaving) look away and or focus on my little one’s face, or if I’m not alone, I may ask my companion to move in an attempt to block the line of sight.

I hope that these ideas help and wish you the very best of luck!

Christine - posted on 06/23/2010

I breast fed all 3 of my boys, and my youngest until he was over a year. I even beast fed in public if I had to. Most ppl stare because they just think there is a cute little baby under the blanket sleeping or something. So they look, some may never even know. Its completely normal and natural and if someone has a problem with a womans breast, then they should walk away. You arent doing anything wrong or exposing people to porn, just feeding your baby. There is worse in PG13 movies now days :/

Keep it up =)

Rachel - posted on 06/23/2010

The first month or so I was a little nervous about breast feeding in public. Then it just got to the point when I said to myself, this is the absolute BEST thing I can do for my child, and nothing is going to stop me from doing so. If people around me dont feel comfortable then they dont need to sit next to me. I bought a nursing cover and my 5 month old hates it. I live in a hot climate so its too warm and just gets in the way. I think it also helps if you have supportive family and friends. When there is a person comending you for BFing then its easier to do it anytime, anywhere. Good luck!

Lindsey - posted on 06/23/2010

I was very nervous too and even thought maybe I shouldn't because people are so against it. They do stare and you and don't even try to hide that. I just tried to ignore it the best i could and I always tried to have someone with me so that i could have a normal conversation while breastfeeding...it helps to take your mind off the fact that people will stare.

Gayle - posted on 06/23/2010

I use a cover and still get looks because you can see my baby's feet hanging outside the cover. I really don't care. I'm doing what is best for my daughter. I do feel more confortable when I have a friend with me, so that i can have someone to talk to rather than looking around for the stares, but i think that luckily for babies, breastfeeding is on the rise and the more women that do it in public, the more it is going to become commonplace once again and more acceptable to society. My friend actually told her 7 yr old son that I feed my baby like animals feed their young. I was kinda offended. Just because she didn't want to do it (she said her breasts were too big, and didn't even try) It felt like she was saying that i was an animal and she was too good to do something like BF! I didn't say anything, but it really did hurt my feelings! Just know that you are doing what is best for your baby! When i do feel uncomfortable somewhere, i will sit in the car to feed her, but i've finally gotten out of the habit of doing that!

Anjali - posted on 06/23/2010

It helps me when I think of the working days. My daughter doesn't like bottles at all but she takes it when I go to work, so on a weekend I don't want to make her go thru the same pain. And that helps me a lot.

Sarah - posted on 06/23/2010

i was worried about it but something just changed one day and some people were looking but who cares, ur feeding ur baby which is the most natural thing in the world! I always stare at the women who get out the formula thinking poor kid stuck with that crap

Ashley - posted on 06/22/2010

i just look it as he needs to eat too!! im covered so it doesnt matter and people stare no matter what!!
think positive :D goodluck

Renee - posted on 06/22/2010

well at first i didnt like BFing in public. but my son is amlost 7mths now, and now i could care less if everyone wants to stare. the way i see it, its the most natural thing in the world why be ashamed of it! go for it girl and if anyone has a problem with it tell them to look the other way!

Rebecca Anne - posted on 06/22/2010

Yay.....You have done a Great Thing......you should be very proud of yourself!!!!! Two thumbs up....

Rebecca Anne - posted on 06/22/2010

I don't think about it, I am just doing what is natural....and those that look at you like that have the problem not you.....I just slip it out a little (not just flip the whole boob out) and have her mouth ready.....

Nikia - posted on 06/22/2010

I did it for the very 1st time today! And I have-to say im very proud of my self. i was too worried about people looking at me or saying something but no one did .

Melissa - posted on 06/22/2010

Remind yourself that women have been doing this for hundreds of years. It is the most natural thing that you can do. and I often have the feeling that other people stare but just think that most everyone at one point in their life has breast fed.

Jana - posted on 06/22/2010

I havent really had any problems with it. I really dont care if people stare at me lol! i think i get that attitude from my mom. If any one had anything to say about it they never did. I actually love breastfeeding in front of people because i know it really pisses some people off. And that just makes my day lol

Amanda - posted on 06/22/2010

i got over it by only looking in my own bubble, i refuse to look around. I'm either looking at baby or at the person i'm with. That way i don't feel as though everyone is looking at me and if they are, i have no ideabecause I block it out. But I can't bring myself to BF when I'm alone.

Becky - posted on 06/22/2010

I was uncomfortable when my first son was a newborn. We had a hard time with latching - sometimes it would take up to 45 minutes to get him on, and it was just about impossible to try to do it and stay covered up! But then, one evening when he was probably a month or so old, we went out for supper with my dad and a friend, and my son needed to eat. I went into the bathroom to feed him and there was no chair in there, so I had to feed him sitting on the edge of the toilet, which didn't have a lid on it, and the bathroom was not that clean. I decided that was disgusting and degrading and wasn't happening again! I went out and bought myself a hooter hider, and just started nursing in public, wherever, whenever. It's amazing how much difference having that good cover made!
Now, with my second son 9 months old, I rarely even bother with the cover anymore. It depends where I am and what I'm wearing. If I'm say, sitting in church where everyone is in close proximity, or if I'm wearing something it's impossible to nurse discreetly in, I'll use the cover, but otherwise, like others have said, really, no one sees anything at all!
I've never gotten a negative comment, or a dirty look that I'm aware of. Usually, I just ignore people around me anyways, but the other day I was feeding him in the mall food court and out of curiousity, I looked up and looked around to see what people's reactions were. No one was even paying any attention at all.
So yeah, I suppose it depends where you are - Calgary seems to be a pretty bf-friendly city, but I imagine people are staring much less than you feel like they are!

Stacy - posted on 06/22/2010

I have nursing tanks that I wear under my shirts so I am less exposed. I really don't have a problem NIP with my son I did with my daughter but I got double the stares I was 16 bfing my child. So I've either gotten used to the stares or people don't stare lol.

Erin - posted on 06/22/2010

Get a good nursing top that keeps you covered and not feeling like you're lifting you shirt over your head each time you're little one wants a drink. I'm very pro-public nursing, but i also don't want to show the world my boobs... i'll find a quiet corner where i'm not facing many people and do it there. Plus my son got/gets distracted easily so the less people around the better.
I find too if i just look at my son while he's nursing, then i don't have to think about who just shot me a shifty look lol. If you're looking around and looking worried then more people wil notice you.

Charlotte - posted on 06/22/2010

I'm sooo lucky, being 1 of those people who would happily tell any1 who didn't like me breastfeeding to shove it! working as a vet, you r forced to get over it, as we are the only animal on the planet stupid enough to have issues with our bodies! at first i was shy, but desperation (screaming baby halfway thru shopping centre) overcame that. i have been breastfeeding continuously now for 4,5yrs (3 babies) including 1yr of tandem feeding! it is so much part of my life now that i am more likely to forget to pull my shirt down when i'm done than feel embarrassed about it!

Lisa - posted on 06/22/2010

I feel uncomfortable too and it gets intensified by those I am with.... but usually I look at my baby and know she is hungry so I just do it and figure the adults can look away if they don't like it.

Erica - posted on 06/22/2010

There are probably a lot less people staring then you think, get a supportive group of women around you that are fine with it. I always say make it normal to you, if its normal in your group around you then it will feel normal to you and stop bothering you, I never had a problem, I remember once seeing a pic of me nursing that "that you can see more boob in my bathing suit, whats so interesting in staring at the back of my babies head?"

Jayne - posted on 06/22/2010

other thing is i don't want to use a cover because then it could be sending messages to my son. sod everyone they can get upset all they like its only because of formula milk why people see it as something else.

Jayne - posted on 06/22/2010

they could be envious because they don't often or perhaps have never seen a mom breastfeeding. i breastfeed in puiblic places and i be discreet i mean you would really have to stand over me to see my breast, which one chap did thinking my son was sleeping whilst i was waiting in a doctors surgery, he must have realised he wasn't because he quickly looked away. you have nothing to be ashamed of and stare back it usually works for me i just look back like yes shall i stare at you while you eat. if anyone did say anything id say well i think supplementing your child is wrong, which other animal on this planet with tits dont breastfeed and people wanna give their kids junk n say im wrong for giving him what is natural. i was bottle fed but i sure as hell dont shoot my mouth off if i see a bottle feedin mum but my pros are better then hers so yah they can say whatever im proud of being a breastfeeding mum. people who have no intellect are the ones to be disgusted and say crap.

Jordan - posted on 06/22/2010

I use a cover as well because I liked to be covered. My thought is if someone is upset by me feeding my baby while covered then they can get over it. If my child is hungry why would I put it off for others? That is kind of like letting them tell you what is best for your child. You know what is best. If they can wait five minutes thats one thing, but any longer and your child just knows that mom is not feeding me and I'm hungry. You can do this modestly and with confidence that you are doing what is best for your child. You being confident will deter glances and remarks.

Tracey - posted on 06/22/2010

I usually try to find a "family" bathroom however, if i need to feed in public I have found that it's all in the cover. I hated my cover and until I found one I loved I wasn't comfortable at all... If you'd like I can give you the name of mine! I'd have to look it up, Plus just know in your heart it is the best thing for your child, a gift you can give outside the womb and in most states, there are laws protecting women that want to breastfeed. Take it slow, once you have some succesful trips out you'll become more comfortable.

Ashley - posted on 06/22/2010

Just do it! Its nothing different from someone taking out a bottle! Except that yours is better for baby! Just use an oversized baby blanket and try to be as descreet as possible. Don't make a big deal of it. My husband and I were out with his entire family one night at a nice restaurant. We had just ordered, but our son was so hungry and fussy and I was getting irritated! My husband said, "Excuse me, but is anyone going to be offended if she breastfeeds at the table?" No one said anything negative, just laughed, because it was so hilarious. Just remember that if someone else sees you nursing in public, it will give them the confidence to do it as well. I nursed my baby anywhere and everywhere, until he was 17 months and I plan on doing the same with my next one due in 3 weeks! At first, just try small, uncrowded places or a dressing room somewhere. These small environments might help you get over your fears to nurse in a bigger setting! Best of luck! I wish you plenty of confidence and lots of joy breastfeeding!

Stacy - posted on 06/22/2010

I look at it like this - God gave me boobs to feed a baby with. I now have a baby that needs to eat. Therefore my boobs belong to my baby!

I do like the idea of practicing at home, but I actually found that going familiar places that are less crowded or with people who are supportive helped a lot. My first public nursing was at church at about 2 weeks old (to prevent a meltdown in service!) and then a friend who was also breastfeeding and I were out to dinner together and I was worried about feeding and she said - well he needs to eat too - we can both just feed!!

I do use a cover or blanket - but we are to the point that she just rips the blanket off or moves the cover at-will so there's no real point to it! My husband and mother are more concerned about "exposure" than I am at this point - I must say though in the beginning I was mortified if my boob or my (GASP!) TUMMY would show. I do get the occasional stare, but more often than not it's an older woman with kids of her own giving me the warm smile of approval and commiseration! For those that aren't looking on with approval I just look down at my little girl all happy and content and smile down at her - ignore those others!

It's not easy for everyone and I wouldn't say that I'm an exibitionist by any means, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! (and pumping just takes waaaaay to much time if baby is available!)

Resmi - posted on 06/22/2010

i donot. why because, i donot care to see what other people are looking at. I too use a cover/jacket for the same. I used to feed her using bottle and pump n she just hated drinking in that, and i had to drop. it was then that i bought a cover for breastfeeding. Now i feed her anytime, anywhere i go, with full comfort. Try to avoid crowded areas n then u will be fine.

Carin - posted on 06/21/2010

It felt a bit awkward at first, but I thought of it this way...I love my daughter and she needs this.. I am a very self-concious person to begin with but I realized that i could do this no matter what. It really did feel odd at first but then without even thinking about it, it just became a priority. All of a sudden felt natural. I wouldnt have changed it for the world. and the funny thing is... suddenly it became a great thing great because I didn't have to worry about pumping or a bottle!

Noreen - posted on 06/21/2010

I think it is completely normal for first time moms to feel uncomfortable with breastfeeding in public because breast are so over sexualized in our culture. It's sad that our culture has made it almost taboo to breastfeed. With my first, I was so uncomfortable with breastfeeding in public even covered that I rarely did. I was a teen mom (not an excuse at all) and felt that I would be looked down on and critized. By the time Kaleb was 3months old, he was off the breast and fully on bottles. He had 1 bottle a day at 10days old. That one bottle turned into 2 a day, then 3 a day until he was on all bottles of formula at 3months.

With my 2nd, I decided that Noah was NEVER going to have a bottle (which he didn't until he was 10months old). And I was going to nurse him whenever and whereever I needed to. I remember nursing Noah in public for the first time uncovered and how awkward it was. It was at my husband's bootcamp graduation and I forgot the blanket/cover in the car and couldn't get it. His graduation lasted longer then I thought it would and he needed to eat. After that I learned how to discretly nurse uncovered. WHich is wearing a cami or nursing under shirt under my top shirt. I am more concerned with showing my belly off then I am my breast.

Abby, my 9month old has never nursed covered. Once you have 3, all dignity goes out the window. LOL

Becca - posted on 06/21/2010

I found that the cover would draw more attention to me than if I simply wore a baggy shirt. I also make sure I know where the nursing rooms in my area are and I try to be near one when my son needs to eat. Other than that I found that it just got easier the more I did it.

Vicki - posted on 06/21/2010

With my first child i was very concious of breastfeeding in public and i would use a feeding room when out. With my 2nd it was the same until a family member took a picture at home of me feeding, when i saw the pic and realised how discreet it looked and you couldn't really tell i was feeding it changed me and i fed every where any anywhere on demand. Try taking a pic too and see how natural it is to be feeding your baby the best possible milk it will ever have and be proud of it :-) xX

Cynthia - posted on 06/21/2010

I am currently nursing baby number three and i am very comfortable with feeding her in public. I couldn't say that with my first baby, I was scared to nurse him in public. Not embarassed but scared of what people might say or react. I think I only nursed him once in public. Unfortunatly this caused alot of stress so I didn't nurse him very long. With my second baby I was a little more comfortable but still only did it when I absolutely had to. I nursed her longer, but not nearly as long as I had hoped to. With my youngest I have learned alot more about the advantages of breastfeeding and she is a preemie so I've made the decision to nurse her as long as possible and if that means at the park or pool with my older children or out to dinner with my family so be it. A girls gotta eat and I've choosen to give her whats best no matter where she gets hungry! So my opinion is "if it makes you uncomfortable, don't look!" So don't worry about it and just remember you're one of many moms who have made the choice to give are babies the very best! Happy BFing :)

Cheryl - posted on 06/21/2010

if you feel uncomoftable just find a private place, the bathroom or a changeroom. most people arent having an issue with breastfeeding in public anymore. its becoming more socialy acceptable and around here its encouraged. may maternity stores or child stores will elt you use their changerooms if you want a private place.

Rachel - posted on 06/21/2010

If other people can eat in public so can your baby! Think about it like this, what do you care about more? Your baby having the best thing in the world, or people staring at you?
Just be confident and if someone says something ask them if they'd like to eat in a bathroom.
You can do it!

Jennifer - posted on 06/21/2010

I generally find that if dd is in the Ergo, and I'm wearing a jacket, most people don't notice my bfing her. And if they do, they are generally either supportive or look away. I usually check an area out and find a quiet corner where I can nurse her when I get to a new place. That said, I know that there are times when I don't bf her when she needs it because I'm not comfortable. Looking forward to seeing what other moms have to say.

Chris - posted on 06/21/2010

I know what you mean, because I was that way with my daughters. i felt soooo guiltly!!!!! but that was because of the way my ex husband was jealous, and some other women were weird about it . However, If i needed to do it now, I would just whip em out! they can all kiss my sassafrass. hey that's what they're for! you can be discreet with a little cover, but sweetie please dont feel guilty. your little baby needs your milk and needs you to feel at ease.♥

Lisbeth - posted on 06/21/2010

yes I do feel comfortable but at first I didn't but as I am exclusively bf it wasn't really an option and got used to it now I will bf everywhere. When ever my little girl wants milk I give it to her it gets easier the more you do it.

Sara - posted on 06/21/2010

I never had a problem with it, though that probably had to do with the fact that my husband didn't want me breastfeeding. He thought it was weird. I felt proud of the fact that I was breastfeeding. I figured if I got my husband to come around then I didn't really care about strangers. Most of the time no one notices and I ask to have a corner table or a booth. I've never had anyone say anything to me and I think I'd tell them they don't have to look. I agree that I think the more women that BF the more accepted it will be and it's SOO good for our children, why wouldn't we if we can? Besides it's better than a screaming baby!

Anna - posted on 06/21/2010

I always wear a cami w/bra built in under my shirt and a strapless bra to make it super easy :) It took me a while at first but I got use to it. From the very being he didn't like being covered up and I was so worried he was going to expose me lol.Once I had a bottle but he refused it then I to cover us up and let him eat. That was more embarrassing. So now we just do our thing and don't worry about others. I think people should just get over it and stop staring b/c I could not cover up.

Melissa - posted on 06/21/2010

I never felt uncomfortable doing it...unless a man started staring at me [but that's always weird]. I actually got very infuriated when my pediatrician's office added a new rule that said breastfeeding in the waiting room is not allowed (!!!)

Abigail - posted on 06/21/2010

Ummmm no problem with it at all but i will cover if i feel someone is uncomfortable with it ,At first i did but then my logic was if they dont like it they dont have to look and also my son is way more important then what people think ,and i will probly never see them ever again ,so no worries :)

Trina - posted on 06/20/2010

Yes, because I believe that a baby's need to be fed takes priority. Nobody should ever feel ashamed to nurse in public and I encourage all mothers to do so at their own comfort level. Breastfeeding is normal, and healthy. A baby's right to nutritious food and bonding trumps others comfort levels.

Bekah - posted on 06/20/2010

My baby is 3 months old and I have never breastfed her in public because I am not comfortable. After reading all the encouraging words I think next time I go somewhere instead of packing a bottle I am going to let her nurse and say Screw what anyone else thinks.. Thanks for the encouragement!

Stacy - posted on 06/20/2010

I am absolutely, 100% comfortable NIP. I've never had a problem with it and nurse any time, any place. I've covered exactly twice, once w/ each newborn, because I was sitting in church surrounded by older folks and didn't have the hang of the nb latch yet. Total PITA both times and never again!

I've only ever had positive comments. I bf confidentaly, and where ever I am, so I think people are too intimidated to say anything which suits me fine. HANG IN THERE! You can do it, too. :D