Do you let your baby use you as a pacifier?

Caitlin - posted on 05/31/2011

Since the beginning of time babies have used breast milk for comfort. Why is there this big push to make it wrong for a baby to take his own cues and make himself feel better using the most wonderful thing for him? Breasts are there for baby to use for nourishment, comfort, and sleep aid.
In my experience running a day care, I've found that the children who constantly have a pacifier in their mouth talker later and less than those without. Babies need their mouths for much more productive things than sucking on plastic. Using every once and a while like when they're extremely fussy and you just can't breastfeed (when driving for example) is not a bad thing, but it shouldn't be a constant, or a substitute for loving comfort on mama's breast.

Sherree - posted on 05/31/2011

Breast feeding has many advantages. In addition to the nutrition & physical beneficial aspects, there is also the comfort benefit. My children never had a bottle or pacifier.



Our children have a natural need for physical contact and a natural need for the sucking motion. It is perfectly normal (and wonderful) to be able to provide these comforts/necessities. I believe it is un-natural, as well as a disservice to both mom and child to pacify a child with a pacifier.



Most important of course, is how you feel about all this. I do not regret not using a pacifier or bottle. And I believe that my children are better for this choice as well.



I wish you all the best, and many happy times of nursing & comforting!



♥ Sherree

Sarah - posted on 05/31/2011

Ya my oldest used me more of a pacifier till he was like 3, he nvr really took a pacifier cuz he always would spit that out, then again he nvr cared for the bottle, must be the plastic or something that just wouldn't do it for him, had to be the real thing, lol. However my 2 year old as well nvr cared for the pacifier but he liked his bottles (had no choice cuz i was out working) . But anywayj, your a comfort thing, baby will eventually grow out of it. So no, i dont think you should regret it, just go with the flow.

Carmel - posted on 05/31/2011

I also just wish they would make dummies more attractive. There are some dreadful ugly looking ones out there nowadays that are much too big and clunky. The nuk orthodontic and happy baby dummies are probably the best looking ones out of the lot but those gumdrops that are bright green or brown are so ugly (even though I must admit the green is a very pretty shade).

Carmel - posted on 05/31/2011

I think it's fine and only natural. It's also better to let them have the breast because it won't make their teeth go out of position if they are still breastfeeding as an older baby. Plus, pacifiers often look quite ugly.

Vino - posted on 05/30/2011

My Daughter is 6 months now and I nurse her wnever she needs. When u r busy with works r wn u r in public it will hurt u, otherwise there will not be any harm... I face the same issue and I dont feel bad with her. Just it increases the bond between us n our child

Christina - posted on 05/30/2011

I agree with all the posts here, for my first son I did nurse him for comfort. The only issue I had was that he would never sleep unless I nursed him, which was fine for me but not so much for my DH or my parents and in-laws when they watched him. So for my second son although I do still nurse him for comfort (post shots, teething, etc) I try to make sure to get a good bed time routine that doesn't include nursing him to sleep so that when there are times I can't be there he can still get his sleep routine in comfortably. But you know your baby best so it's all about what time of routine you have going on in your lives. Good luck!

Mandy - posted on 05/30/2011

its better she uses the all natural you as a pacifier then an actual pacifier. i wouldnt worry, im sure its good for bonding. what are mommys for right ?! :)

LaLasha - posted on 05/29/2011

It is a self soothing thing it is easier to manage then thumb sucking I have a thumb sucker and it is very hard to break her of. I think if you start to ween her of it around the time of her first birth day you can have her off the binky by 18 months

LaLasha - posted on 05/29/2011

It is a self soothing thing it is easier to manage then thumb sucking I have a thumb sucker and it is very hard to break her of. I think if you start to ween her of it around the time of her first birth day you can have her off the binky by 18 months

Erin - posted on 05/28/2011

Hi! It is good to comfort your baby but I would try substituting a pacifier for the comfort instead of your breast. Ilet my first two children use me for a pacifier and it got to the point where I couldn't do anything or go anywhere b/c my babies always wanted to be comfort nursing; which as they grew became more and more difficult b/c they never wanted to be away from me and had a hard time falling asleep on their own. I am now on my third child who is 2 months old and if I notice he's needing comfore and tried to nurse,I stick a paci. in his mouth and he takes it just as well... Sometimes he'll resist but it works MOST times. And, he's able to fall asleep with out needing to "nurse". When babies are this little, you can't spoil them by holding them too much (my opinion) but I do feel that comfort nursing can set you up for trouble later. That is just my opinion on the subject and I apologize if I've offended anyone. Good luck to you and I hope it all works out for you! :-)

Claire - posted on 05/25/2011

That's what your boobs are for :) Mine still nurses, pacifies, and passes the time with the milkies and she is 14 months.

Cassie - posted on 05/25/2011

My 13 month old still does this! And there is NO sign of her stopping :( i need help to get her off but its so hard so i would say after 6 months try to find other ways for her to fall asleep otherwise its going to be a loosing battle! She's still only young atm so its not too bad, also its good for your supply x

Melissa - posted on 05/24/2011

when my 9 month old falls asleep while nursing i can feel it, it's a different feeling, i think that when he starts using me as a pacifier it hurts because his sucking motions change. i break suction and slide his pacifier in his mouth and he stays asleep.

Brittany - posted on 05/24/2011

It personally started to annoy me as she reached the 5 month mark. Especially since at that point she wasn't gainning weight. I was (because of the weight issue) adviced to stop and to only nurse when she was hungry. They were worried that she was burning too many calories without getting any calories.

But that entire scenario is rare. With this next one I plan on doing it until I get annoyed again. After all it isn't good for either of us, if I'm annoyed with them about it.

Ashley - posted on 05/24/2011

I comfort nursed my baby whenever she wanted to.. but I always had a pacifier as back up for when daddy was watching her, if I was busy, or even if I just didn't feel like it.

I don't think it's a bad habit... it's just part of being a parent.

Melissa - posted on 05/24/2011

When our son was born the only way I could get his diaper changed without him screaming was to have Daddy pop a finger in his mouth to sooth him while I changed him. Visa Versa did not work, lol, there was just something about "Daddy Finger" that did magic! It didn't cause any problems later on what so ever. My mother did the same with my brothers and I, and we didn't have any issues with it either. I see no problem with it at all.

Sara - posted on 05/24/2011

I had to stop my daughter from using me as a pacifier as she started to want me at inappropriate times, like in a shop or whenever she needed comforting or if she was teething etc. It had to stop for me, it also became painful as she didn't want the milk just to suck and so the sucking started to crack my nipples and it was not good.

Shelly - posted on 05/24/2011

My daughter never used a pacifier, since she was 3 months old, I had her get used to hugging her favourite plushie.

Holly Janelle - posted on 05/23/2011

I have made a commitment to breastfeeding my baby girl and I'm sticking to it! I will comfort feed my daughter anytime she needs me unless of course it's impossible at the time and I think I'm pretty sure I'm just going to let her wean herself. This time that we are getting to spend together the closeness the bonding time means sooo much to me right now and I'm sure I can't even comprehend what it will mean to me once it's gone, so why not soak up every possible minute I can get! thank you again to all the mommies your kind words and encouragement have meant a lot! Xxx :)

Erin - posted on 05/23/2011

Ah - just a side note about weaning. Kids will wean themselves of nursing once they're ready, just like they will wean themselves of a pacifier once they're ready. No need to force either! :)

Crystal - posted on 05/23/2011

My daughter is also 2 months old and I do the same thing! I don't feel guilty at all. I did the same thing with my 2 year old and she turned out great!!!

Michelle - posted on 05/23/2011

I let my daughter sometimes. Of course she won't take an actual pacifier so I suppose it works out. There's nothing wrong with it. I let my first two do the same and it worked out fine.

Keri - posted on 05/23/2011

My daughter is now 27 months old and still uses me as a pacifier sometimes.

Mindee - posted on 05/23/2011

There are many benefits to what you are doing. I allowed this with my first child and, though I was nursing her all the time, I didn't mind. I was so happy to be able to calm her and give her just what she wanted/needed to calm her down and meet her physical and emotional needs. My 2nd daughter got very sick at 10 days old and that visit to the ER turned into 2 weeks in the hospital on I.V. antibiotics. The nurses, and even my sister, kept giving my baby a pacifier, despite my request that they not, and she has since been addicted to the binkie, and prefers it over me. I HATE that I can't calm her down unless I can locate one of the countless missing pacifiers in the house. I do like that she doesn't require being nursed to sleep every night, but she still does insist on nursing when she wakes up in the night, (which I don't mind), so it really isn't a big help. All in all I feel I did it right the first time. I think it's great you're "nursing on demand". You're showing her that she can count on you, and that is never a bad thing.
Just how I am going to have to wean my daughter of a pacifier some day, you may choose to wean your daughter of nursing some day, assuming she doesn't wean herself. They're all just phases. Follow your intuition. Your baby wants YOU. These days pass VERY quickly, so soak them up and savor every moment. In the blink of an eye she'll be hugging you goodbye and heading off to college.

Erin - posted on 05/23/2011

Not a bad habit at all! Nursing on demand for food or comfort is building the foundation of comfort and trust that will help your baby grow into a calm, confident, independent girl. And all that nursing is critical for building your milk supply. Congrats to both of you!

My almost 3 year old still comfort nurses when she's particularly tired, teething, sick... with the rare tantrum she'll actually stop herself and ask to nurse. It's a lifesaver - I don't think you'll regret it, however long you nurse is great for both of you.

Ginny - posted on 05/23/2011

My youngest child is 19 months old and still nurses for comfort. Doesn't bother me any. It's an easy way to settle her down when she's upset. Plus it still works a treat for getting her to take a nap.

Karen - posted on 05/23/2011

i am on baby number 3, i breast feed all,the older 2 until they were almost 2 and my baby is 7mths,i demand fed them all they refused to take a bottle or dummy and i am so glad that i could do that for them and for me.if you and your baby are happy you are doing the right thing.

Lana - posted on 05/23/2011

I'm so glad I read your question .. and all the replies. My honey child is almost 23 months old and still breastfeeds .. and uses boobies for comfort and to fall asleep. It's nice to know i'm not alone in thinking this has been the nicest way to bond with my boy and he's slowly weaning himself. The best advise I read somewhere was ... 'don't offer and don't refuse' when the time comes to stop the boobs! Until then, enjoy!!

Amanda - posted on 05/22/2011

i let my baby use me as a binky and for a long time she wouldnt sleep with out me letting her sucle a lil bit it gets hard on mommy but it helps baby sleep longer my baby stopped nursing and i wish i could go back and nurse her again i miss the nursing times we shared together

Katherine - posted on 05/22/2011

Of course it's good you're her pacifier. Pacifiers are replacement for mom, not the other way around. You are her comfort, her protection, her sustenance, her security, and she NEEDS those things...it's not spoiled to have those needs as a baby. They do outgrow it on their own if you have enough patience for that, or you can draw the line when the inconvenience of it becomes strong enough...but you go ahead and feed and comfort that baby as much as you and she want.

Bonnie - posted on 05/22/2011

One of the truly lovely things for mamas when breastfeeding babes is the mother hormone that is released when suckling. When you have the opportunity to relax and just let her suckle, you can settle into to it, grab a good book, or make your list for...tomorrow...or the next day. It increases your capacity to feel good and breathe in motherhood. It fills her tank for the frazzly days! Blessings...

Elizabeth - posted on 05/22/2011

I have to say I agree with the part about nursing a toddler! Whenever he's upset (just grumpy or is scared or hurts himself), we just nurse and he's instantly better. The boobies fix everything! Sometimes he wants to "snack" and nurse on and off all afternoon, while some afternoons he never nurses (he's 21 months old). And he certainly doesn't want to just sit there and suckle the whole time... he is an active little thing and nurses, wiggles around, then pops off to go do other things.

Fica - posted on 05/22/2011

It will be bad in the longrun!!!!!! I know this because I have dobe it and my daughter is now 16mnths and still nursing which is not the problem, the problem is she wants to sit wit it in her mouth constantly as if it was a binky. She

Emma - posted on 05/22/2011

I did the same thing with my first and I have a beautiful daughter that is going to turn 3 in July. Do what you feel is right for you and your baby... if this is needed now remember that your bubs will not be feeding forever, which means you will need to do some hard yards later (your baby will need to go to sleep on their own at some stage). I found it easier to explain to my 6 month old that "Mummy is going to put you down now and you are going to sleep with out me (on a full tummy)" and it worked really well (for me emotionally i think)... Enjoy your baby i say... deal with the hard stuff when their a little bigger and know who you are and the trust is there.. Trust your own gut!

Ania - posted on 05/22/2011

I was always there whenever my son needed me so yes he was using me as a pacifier. He is fine and slowly got over himself and doesn't need me all the time. there is no such a thing as spoiling your newborn and later infant youare just meeting there needs, that;s all

Amanda - posted on 05/22/2011

As far as I am concerned my breasts are there to comfort my children. A plastic pacifier was invented as a substitute to a human breast. I *always* comfort nursed (and nursed him to sleep) my now 3 year old and still sometimes do. He's a very secure, independent, happy, outgoing, child who isn't the slightest bit clingy to me. Comfort nursing is the most awesome parenting tool in the toddler years. When your toddler falls or begins to have a meltdown due to tiredness or whatever... just nurse for 5 mins and everything is OK! No prolonged crying or "tantrums" just a quick nursing session and they're off to play! :) So yes, comfort your baby in the easiest, most natural way possible. :)

OhJessie - posted on 05/22/2011

Not to mention it's a very *good* habit in the first 6 months, as it is the skin-to-skin contact and breast stimulation that help establish a good milk supply. That's what is meant by exclusive nursing - no pacifiers or bottles. My son spent a few months hooked up literally all night long, but comforting him allowed me to get my own sleep, which I really needed. Sure, he grew out of it eventually - not that men stop liking breasts ;)

Laura Zoey - posted on 05/21/2011

Yes I do, and yes it's a good thing! Natural is always best right? I try not to use fake stuff with my kids as much as possible so when given a choice of a nipple or a fake nipple I'll choose the real one every time I can!
I'm not opposed to using a pacifier if we are in the car, or if daddy is watching her etc, but I feel it's obvious that the real deal is going to be the best choice!

Jennifer - posted on 05/21/2011

I have two within two years. My now 3 yo was diag. with a speech delay at the age of two (a year behind) due to low tone in his jaw/mouth and tongue thrust. I was told it was due to him using a paci non stop from birth to age 2. I breast feed him until 14 months. This time I was glad my now 1 yo did not take the paci. Lesson learned. I am her paci too. With the teeth it has been rough for the past two weeks but it beats all the therapists I deal with for my son!

Elizabeth - posted on 05/21/2011

You're not letting her turn you IN to a pacifier, you are the original pacifier! Pacifiers just mimic breasts. So by letting her comfort nurse, you are meeting her developmental, physical, and emotional needs. As someone whose 21 month old still nurses to sleep, yes it can create a habit. I wouldn't call it a bad habit because I believe he still needs that closeness to me, developmentally. But if you are looking for more autonomy, I would encourage you to let her nurse until drowsy and then delatch her before she actually falls asleep. That way you are still providing her what she needs while also not establishing the expectation to nurse to sleep. If you need specific pointers, check out the No Cry Nap Solution (there is a section on the "Naptime Nursling")

Stephanie - posted on 05/21/2011

I was asking the same question as you when my son was 2 months old... and now that he is nearly 1 years old, I can finally answer this question! :) I think it is definitely a good thing to be able to comfort your baby via breastfeeding. Its a very powerful and fast way to reassure/calm/comfort your baby in the coming months through all the times of them being unsettled due to sickness, teething, immunisations, separation anxiety, when they haven't had enough sleep during the day and is cranky, when they are uncertain/scared, when you have been away for a few hours and they missed you, etc. Its also a great way to put them to sleep on days when they cannot self-settle due to being over-excited, sick or scared. Breastmilk contains a wonderful hormone called cholecystokinin (CCK). CCK induces sleepiness, both in the baby and the mother. When the baby sucks, CCK is released within the mother to help her rest and relax, and it also puts the baby to sleep.

I don't think it is a bad habit, and its actually going to be easier for you as your child calms down and settles a lot faster then if you just try and talk/reason/pat them (which doesn't really work in the early months!). However, as your baby gets older, you can start teaching them that there are other ways of seeking comfort by teaching your baby to self-settle to sleep, introducing a comfort blanket, etc.

Stevie - posted on 05/21/2011

I nursed my son to sleep and whenever he needed comfort. My doctors let me nurse him while they gave him his shots and he hardly wanted to break latch to cry! Also at 4 months ge was sleeping through the night in his own room, it was great I think whatever works for you do it! Pacifiers didn't work for us because they gave him terrible gas and then he just refused them altogether.

Aleks - posted on 05/20/2011

I've been doing that with my girl, and to a large extent still do with her now that she is 2yrs and 3mths.
You are doing a good job, trust yourself, your instincts and your baby's instincts. Nature has given these for a reason :-)
Don't stress for the future because you don't know what is ahead, so should not worry too much about it now. Look at it this way, you are not stressing in putting your baby in a diaper because you will teach it bad habbits and then have to teach them other wise when potty training, do you? So look at this stage the same way... it may or may not last.... if it does last, then there are ways of changing things - she won't need your boob when she is in high school when ever she is upset, I guarantee you that :-)

Good luck.

Laura - posted on 05/20/2011

To be clear-you are letting her nurse to sleep and for comfort? Isn't that what breasts are for? What you are doing is building the foundations for a secure, self confident little girl, and bonding in the most fundamental way possible. Trust yourself.

Holly Janelle - posted on 05/19/2011

Thank you so much to all of the mommies that har commented on my post. Y'all have been so sweet and kind on the subject and I feel much better knowing it's ok what I'm doing. I love that I'm her comfort. Today she had her 2 month shots and right afterwards I let her nurse and she was a happy camper :) it's such a warm feelings knowing that I can be so comforting to my daughter!!! I love being a mommy it's the greatest gift on earth :)

Linda - posted on 05/19/2011

what you are doing is being a mommy. You are bonding with your baby and cherish every second of it-- soon they will be 5 and getting into the jelly beans and... oh sorry that was my day;-) Seriously do not worry, you will never regret spending this beautiful bonding time with your baby.

Elfrieda - posted on 05/19/2011

Do you mind her nursing just for comfort? That's the big question that often people on both sides of the question don't consider. If you don't mind now, just deal with it later when you want her to stop. Some people really like that time for bonding with the baby, and think back on it with lots of nostalgia after the baby's bigger and is on more of a schedule.

Personally, I felt very trapped by my son who wanted to nurse almost constantly, but nobody told me it was okay to not like it. They all just kept repeating "Breast is best." and "It's normal for a baby to comfort nurse." I feel like that mental stress contributed to me losing my milk supply, because the whole time I sat there thinking, "Is it over yet? Please let it be over. Is it over yet?"

So I guess I want to tell you to keep asking yourself, "What do I feel about this right now?" "What is best for the baby and what is best for me?" Because you are important. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take the best care of your baby.

Minnie - posted on 05/19/2011

No, I'm the real-deal. Pacifiers would be a substitute for me. At least I ensure proper formation of the hard palate and jaw :).

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 05/19/2011

I agree with Liz. I loved that I had something that could so easily calm and soothe my baby. I nursed my daughter on demand and to sleep for quite some time. She's now 2 and still nurses a couple times a day. She doesn't need the breast to go to sleep so don't worry. It doesn't last forever. Enjoy it while it does :)