Does anyone feel guilty when they enjoy their job as much as being a parent?

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I love my job!  And I love being a parent!  I am fortunate in having the support of my supervisor and teammates so that I can breastfeed more often than pump and feed, I have brought my kiddo to team meetings and on occassion I take the little one with me out in the field. 

I was more torn with my first son...wanting to dedicate every moment to him.  But, I still enjoyed (and still enjoy) my job.  Which makes me feel better than worse.  If that makes any sense.  And I am able to share this joy with my kiddos.  They know about my work and my husband's too.  They are involved in our daily lives and we are able to be role models to them.  I am  a Nurse Home Visitor and my husband is a High School teacher and Athletic Director.

I think as women we are more torn due to biocultural roles.  We are biologically bonded to want to be with our children and culturally we are typically the primary caretaker.  I've never felt guilty because I have this mental model of a woman who has always been able to enjoy both.  Mind you though I do have days I would love to just forget the rest of the world and stay in my PJ's and build sand castles in the sand box or Lego castles on the living room floor (whether I had kiddos or not) :)

Allison - posted on 04/05/2009




I don't work outside the home anymore, but I did before and, yes, a little bit. I had a job where I had a very flexible schedule and sometimes I would leave the house before I had to if my daughter was having a fit or something (my husband was the stay-at-home parent). I worked with other babies/toddler and their moms in a home visiting program where we focused on parenting skills, child development, and goal setting, and I got to the point where I felt that it was strange for me to be helping parents and working with their kids when I was not able to do that with my daughter. When I got pregnant with my second, my husband and I decided we would switch roles, and I've been a stay-at-home parent for the past 2 years. I miss working with other parents now, but I'm involved with a local mom's group and am able to do some of the things I did as a job - talk about child develop, parenting issues, etc. So right now I'm content being home.

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