does it irk you too

Minnie - posted on 10/22/2009

I think this resurrected thread has outlived it's usefulness. Let's start anew!

Hannah - posted on 10/22/2009

Oh my god what a long thread! Wish I had time to read all the comments but it's just not going to happen, and now I'm making it even longer.....



I was just going to add that my baby is now 3 and half months, and without the use of formula tops ups she has worked out a 7pm bedtime all by herself, and is sleeping until 4am, then going back to sleep again.

I'm not adding this to sound smug (although I know this is probably rare and I'm very lucky!) but just wanted to point out that it is possible to get a good-ish nights sleep without resorting to 'extra help'.



I could have easily given her formula top ups early on, and may well have done so if she had been willing to take a bottle, as she was a very small baby I was even advised to at one point. But she has proved everyone wrong - she knows what is good for her, has shot up the growth chart and is sleeping through the night all just on breastmilk.



I don't have a problem with what other mothers choose to do for their own babies, but just wanted to show that if you give your baby time they can begin to sleep through the night without formula, so no need to rush into doing anything like this, it could happen anyway.

Natasha - posted on 10/22/2009

Quoting Kerry:

I believe babies have to learn how to get themselves to go to sleep, just like they learn to eat, talk and learn to walk. Yes, it happens in their own time, when their body is ready but a child isn't going to learn to walk if they are always strapped into a chair or pram, nor will they learn to talk if they arent encouraged or talked to. I think it's just the same with sleep - how are they going to learn to go to sleep if mummy (or daddy) comes rushing in with a boob or bottle everytime they make a murmur? I'm not talking about letting your child fall asleep from pure exhaustion from being left to cry, i think most mums have more commonsense that that - theres a big difference between seeing to your childs every whim and helping them to learn how to go to sleep. We know our own individual children and what they are capable of. I think if it has got to the point when your child is over six months and you are so sleep deprived that you feel you are not doing your best then perhaps it is time to TEACH your child about how to go to sleep! Yes, parenting is hard and has lots of challenges but it doesn't have to be a marathon

Oh Kerry! Has there ever been anyone with more commonsense than you? You have little pearls of wisdom all the time! Can we get a carbon copy of this woman please? STAT! This is the whole point! Shirley was expressing her point of view and she also said he does wake up and she provides COMFORT, but as Kerry says above you DO NOT have to rush with boobs ready to go. I actually had a friend on the phone to me today CRYING because of lack of  sleep because she is nursing her 15 month old daughter and the little girl will not sleep without feeding constantly and SCREAMS whne mum rolls over in her sleep and has she cant find the breast. You can only imagine what this is doing to the whole family. No I did NOT suggest just letting her scream for hours on end, but I did suggest a sippy cup of water and a hug instead of the breast. It might take a couple of nights of coaxing but it probably wont take long for her just to sleep through when she realizes she wont get what she wants all the time. This little girl is overtired all day because of what is happening at night and her entire family, including a poor 3 yr old, are getting no sleep. You CAN teach a child how to sleep without being cruel!

Kerry never stop coming out with your wisdom, you make so much sense instead of being 'militant' like you said in another post!

Natasha - posted on 10/22/2009

Quoting Chelsea:

Shirley do some research on the effects that the ferber method have on infant. They are not meant to be left to cry and as a result that leads to an insecure attachment between caregivers and infant when left to cry. Do you have any education in early childhood? Well I do and I am here to say the research is against you. The Ferber method is psychologically damaging. If you want me to site my sources I would be glad to.

As a side note my daughter learned to sleep through the night without being left to cry. She is 12 months old and sleeps 7-6:15. Lazy parents use the ferber method while those of us who know how to raise healthy and happy children who are securely attached teach our children how to fall asleep without being left to cry.

I have to say that I'm really disgusted in the comment you made here Chelsea. How dare you call Shirley a lazy parent! If I recall you have all the experience of having ONE child. I don't particularly care what so-called "education" you may think you have, nothing beats real experience with a few kids in the house. You are the leader of this group and the example you set is to humiliate and ridicule another member. I've absolutely had enough. I thought this group was going to get better considering that you were changing the guidelines a little, but you seem to be one of te most intolerant people I have come across! You don't condone formula, you don't condone the Ferber Method. What else is there you don't condone? And who died and made you the leader of the free world of parenting? Get a grip! I don't know who you think you are but you have no right to degrade someone like that. Absolutely disgusting. You can disagree with her methods but there is no need to call her a lazy parent, I'm sure she is a very loving parent and like most of us, would never let her child become psychologically damaged.

You should hang your head and give her a huge apology!

Erin - posted on 10/21/2009

Vera is just now sleeping through the night at 4 months. I heard over and over again from people telling me to put cereal in the bottle and baby will sleep all night. People literally made me feel like I was starving my baby because I was breast feeding. My best advice is to IGNORE every bit of ignorant advice and go with your gut. It is terrible being tired all the time, but it will pass.

Chelsea - posted on 10/10/2009

It's a shame that parents don't educate themselves on infant sleep, nutrition etc. I belive that it's just as much on the parents as society in terms of choosing to give solids early, use cio and formula. If you are choosing to have an infant you need to educate yourself so that you can make healthy decisions for you infant, toddler, preschooler, school ager, teenager etc. Ignorance is no excuse.

Ashley it's great to hear that you have now educated yourself and decided to raise a happy, healthy infant.

Rebecca - posted on 10/10/2009

giving a baby food to early is not good for them... they are unable to brake the food down and it can make them sick and constipated.

Rebecca - posted on 10/10/2009

i agree with you if you don't want the job of taking care of a baby .... don't have one. babies take time and energy and you shouldn't try to make them grow up faster than they are ready

Ashley - posted on 10/09/2009

Quoting Chelsea:

Shirley do some research on the effects that the ferber method have on infant. They are not meant to be left to cry and as a result that leads to an insecure attachment between caregivers and infant when left to cry. Do you have any education in early childhood? Well I do and I am here to say the research is against you. The Ferber method is psychologically damaging. If you want me to site my sources I would be glad to.

As a side note my daughter learned to sleep through the night without being left to cry. She is 12 months old and sleeps 7-6:15. Lazy parents use the ferber method while those of us who know how to raise healthy and happy children who are securely attached teach our children how to fall asleep without being left to cry.

I do not believe it's only lazy parents, I myself used cio with my son because I didn't know there was another way. Doctors, nurses, friends, parents, grandarents, aunts, uncles, everybody I talked to told me to use this method. I just recently heard about ap parenting and everyone I know is giving me beef about it cause I'm doing ap with my daughter since it's kinda too late for my son, though I'm still trying.

I've seen first hand what cio does to a child. my son now cries when he goes to bed regardless of me being there with him and holding him or not, he's clingy whenever I'm around, screams when I leave him. It could also be the reason why he hasn't started speaking yet and he will be 2 in November.

I now tell new parents about alternative methods to cio, because in some cases cio is the only thing people are being told to use.

Christina - posted on 10/09/2009

You are sooo right !!! My daughter who is 19 weeks this week , was not sleeping through the night two weeks ago either , and she is now !! Stick to your guns. I actually took the advice to a point. I gave Jana a few teaspoons of cereal in a 5 oz bottle of pumped breast-milk before bed ...she was still up at 3am for her feeding that night. Then I read an article in "Baby Talk" that said that at that hour chances are she is not really hungry...it is just " a learned habit" so the next night I took their advice and instead of immediately snatching her up and latching her on ,when she fussed at 3 I reached over to the crib stuck my hand through and held her little hand and she went right back to sleep! She slept till 7:30 that next morning and she has ever since !! I hope this helps! If you have time I posted a couple questions on the New Mommies/Mothers of Infants 0-12 Month Olds community maybe you can share your advice with me too.

Kristen - posted on 10/09/2009

I totally agree with you!!!!!!!!

Emanuelieta - posted on 10/09/2009

Quoting Shirley:

lol he did wake up during the night. This just got him on a schedule. He's sleeping through the night when he was ready. Thanx for not being snooty... I'm just trying to help, isn't that what this site is about?

This is a very sensitive subject, and there are a lot of people out there who are all OMG BREASTFEED!  Well, i tried it... i could not get it... i just couldn't get him to latch.... it was so hard.... My son is 7 years old now.. He is an honor student and very healthy, and he is gorgeous too! lol.... 

An honest debate? Then they harp on you for what you do. 

I formula fed my son.... I'm going to try to breastfeed this next child... But if i CAN'T i will formula feed again.... 

People always say "breast is best", sure, fine whatever... But not EVERYONE can do it... 

:)

LaSaundra - posted on 10/09/2009

I still breastfeed my daughter now and she is 9 months old and she wakes up at least 2 times during the night once at 2am and then once at around 5:45 and I proudly get up nurse her and back to sleep we go, I will not give my baby formula so that I can sleep longer. If she wakes up its for a reason and she needs me so A mommy I will be. This baby stage doesn't last very long so I am going to enjoy it while it last even if that means getting up in the middle of the night to nurse my babygirl. Way to go BF mothers keep up the awesome job of giving your baby the best.

Jessica - posted on 10/09/2009

I haven't read every comment. but I just wanted to add that I've been very blessed with my newest baby. She started sleeping 8 hours at a time around 6-7 weeks old. She now sleeps 10-12 hours at a time at night. she's 3 months old. I'm esclusively breastfeeding and have never given her a bottle of any kind nor have I ever let her cry it out. I agree with Danielle (the original poster) that babies will sleep through the night when they are ready. Every baby is different.

Shirley - posted on 10/09/2009

Quoting Chelsea:

Sarra if you don't breastfeed what are you doing in this group. This is for breastfeeding moms.

Here you go again attacking another mom on this site that just wants some info. Who made you breastfeeding know it all???? You cheapen this site and give it a bad name. Go somewhere!

  Sarra I want to apologize for some judgmental mothers on this site that have nothing better to do then come on this site and criticize people online. Because lets be honest they wouldn't say shit if they weren't hiding behind a computer. I would dare them.

Breastfeeding your baby is the best way to go, but it's not for everyone. I do but my sister didn't. I heard of a girl who was sexually abused as a child and she couldn't breastfeed for that reason. Like I said it's not for everyone. Lets support eachother and maybe the moms that don't BF might have a change of heart. Best wishes to ALL mommies

Lesley - posted on 10/09/2009

After reading these posts...I have to think it is important for everyone to remember that all babies are different...I exclusively breastfeed my baby girl, who is 2 months, and she has been sleeping 7-8 hours every night since she was 3 weeks old. I think babies will sleep through the night when they are ready to sleep through the night. Unfortunately it takes longer for some than others

Amy - posted on 10/09/2009

Quoting tara:

most of these posts are really negative

Agreed Tara... isn't it disgusting!! Oh and I feel for you with teeth... that's horrible!! I'm going through it at the moment too! Stick with it, it can't last forever!! :o))

Tara - posted on 10/09/2009

most of these posts are really negative

Tara - posted on 10/09/2009

I dont nurse him between bedtime and 5:30 and he still wakes up 3-4 times a night if the teeth bother him. He is a fabulous baby during the day though. Different styles work with different babies.

Amy - posted on 10/09/2009

Quoting Chelsea:

Shirley do some research on the effects that the ferber method have on infant. They are not meant to be left to cry and as a result that leads to an insecure attachment between caregivers and infant when left to cry. Do you have any education in early childhood? Well I do and I am here to say the research is against you. The Ferber method is psychologically damaging. If you want me to site my sources I would be glad to.

As a side note my daughter learned to sleep through the night without being left to cry. She is 12 months old and sleeps 7-6:15. Lazy parents use the ferber method while those of us who know how to raise healthy and happy children who are securely attached teach our children how to fall asleep without being left to cry.

Sorry ladies, but you're all really nasty.  Shirley has done what she felt necessary to preserve the sanity in her family.  I don't remember being 10 weeks old, and therefor wouldn't know what my parents did or didn't do for me/to me when I was that age.  I don't remember much prior to 3 years old, so I'm pretty sure Shirley's babies won't either.  For some, Ferber and other methods are inappropriate - but for Shirley and her family, it was fine.   But to say that she is a lazy mother who doesn't know how to raise healthy and happy children is cruel! 

In answer to the original question - I don't find it irritating, I find it repetitive.  Some babies wake during the night more out of habit than anything - and some do it far more than once a night.  I have been in that situation and I can tell you I was just about ready to do anything to get my sanity back. True sleep deprivation can make you ill.

Stop judging and backstabbing ladies -- it's ugly!!

Tara - posted on 10/09/2009

I still BF at 10 mos and we didnt try formula at night but I did give him a bottle and then pump after so i could put cereal in his bottle at about 4 months. I got no results from that. I have heard everything from feed them heavy cereal bottles to mix a bottle with that baby food custard gerber makes. My son only gets boob now before bed, I have tried sleep training and he is slowly getting better about going to bed without a fuss, but I am starting to think that some babies just do not sleep through the night till they decide they are ready to. He randomly sleeps from 6:30pm to 6:00 every once in a while but has teethed pretty much since 5 months without a break. Just comfort your kid the way you feel comfortable, but if you get too exhausted, just bring them to bed with you, cause you have to get some sleep once in a while.

Soni - posted on 10/09/2009

My 10 month son slept through the night from 6 weeks to 3 months...then he started walking up at night. I have kept breastfeeding all along. I will not give him formula just so that he can sleep. When he ready to sleep through the night he will. I co-sleep with him now and it has made night time much more comfortable for all of us. Check out the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley

Amanda - posted on 10/09/2009

Quoting Lidia:

Quoting Audrey:

I just happened to come across this group, thinking it was for support, but unfortunately it appears to be nothing more than bored women being very spiteful and catty. The original post was for 'honest debate' on how to get your baby to sleep through the night without formula and cereal. All I see is women attacking Shirley because she used the Ferber method! It's her choice to use whatever method she chooses. I don't know that I'll be looking to a group with such mean comments for support.

I'm not sure I see the comments as catty (although your might qualify).  What I do see are moms who feel very strongly about a child's right to be parented in a loving and gentle way, and can't help but defend those children who cannot speak for themselves.

I feel that Audrey is right. While I was reading these comment, I noticed that most of them are put towards her. We are all on here telling each other how we comfort out babies. This group is suppose to be for support. We are suppose to be encouraging mothers for what they are doing, not judging them for the things that "you think" they are doing wrong. We all have our own ways of taking care of our babies. Who are you to tell them that they are wrong? I am sure that not all of you are perfect!! Leave her alone....she is only doing what SHE feels is right for HER baby!!! Get a life!!!!

Michelle - posted on 10/09/2009

my 31/2 month old has only had breastmilk and he's been sleeping through the night almost everynight since he was 3 or 4 weeks old. I think that it's really about the kid not what you feel them. Some prefere many small meals and some like big meals every three hours and then sleep for 8-10 hours at night. I think it's just luck of the draw here...

Elmary - posted on 10/09/2009

I love that you speak your mind and that you are not afraid to do what you feel because of what others think. When I have more time I will actually read what you have to say rather then skim thru. So far I like what you have to say not everyone will agree with what you say but if they did then that would be a little scary then a few people not agreeing.

Ashley - posted on 10/09/2009

Quoting Lidia:

Quoting Audrey:

I just happened to come across this group, thinking it was for support, but unfortunately it appears to be nothing more than bored women being very spiteful and catty. The original post was for 'honest debate' on how to get your baby to sleep through the night without formula and cereal. All I see is women attacking Shirley because she used the Ferber method! It's her choice to use whatever method she chooses. I don't know that I'll be looking to a group with such mean comments for support.

I'm not sure I see the comments as catty (although your might qualify).  What I do see are moms who feel very strongly about a child's right to be parented in a loving and gentle way, and can't help but defend those children who cannot speak for themselves.

I agree with Audrey and feel sorry for Shirley. They were only giving there opinions (because that is what this site is for) and for that they getting critisised. Each to there own I say. If your baby will take cereal earlier than 6months AND it doesn't harm them in anyway, then why not? At the end of the day, you know what your baby needs/wants and if u think that complementing them with formula or cereal is what they need/want then why not???

These comments have turned a bit catty i think. Mums are critisisng other mums on their way of parenting, yet what we all really need is a bit of support. We get enough pressure from society, strangers, friends and family on how WE should raise OUR children. Who are we to put down Shirley for how she is raising her child? I have left my baby to cry a few times but for no longer then 3mins. I had fed & changed her, so nothing was wrong. She was just tired. And before anyone comments, I did settle her before I lay her down, but she just wanted to but cuddled to sleep. And again, for some of you who think I am horrible to do this, I did not want her to learn that I will cuddle her to sleep every night because personally I do not want to be doing it for the next 5 years. I do cuddle her to sleep some nights, but have made sure its not a regular occurrence. I beleive in "tough love".

I may come off as a heartless shrew, but I assure you that this is not the case. I was just getting a tad annoyed at people jumping at others for their opinion. Because at the end of the day,that is all it is. An opinion.

Use your "Mothers Instinctint" for your own bub, because we are all different and so are our babes. Only WE know what is best for OUR children.

Ami - posted on 10/09/2009

My baby has a posterior case of tongue-tie that can't be clipped and fixed. Her tongue muscle is not strong enough to 'wrap' around the nipple the way it it supposed to. Because of this, she wasn't getting enough to eat when i breastfed. So now I pump into bottles to feed her. I can make sure that she is getting enough to eat, but is still getting what is best for her - breastmilk. I do sometimes mourn losing the bonding that breastfeeding would give us, but as long as she is getting the best possible nutrition, I am happy.

Juliea - posted on 10/09/2009

I agree. Not only is it not good advice, it is not good to supplement with formula unless absolutely necessary.

Margaret - posted on 10/09/2009

Quoting Lidia:

Quoting Fiona:

HONEST DEBATE, OK

To each their own, really.

What works for one child may not work for the next child.

With my first child I breastfed totally until she was 4 months. My mother is against breastfeeding and she visited me when my child was 4 months and she suggested I try formula, for the 6pm feed. My daughter has slept through the night since then. I continued breastfeeding throughout the day and I expressed milk at night before I went to sleep. Until my child was 7 months then full time bottle and food. She hates food.

When my child was 6 months I used controlled crying and it worked. I think she likes to sleep. My child is 3 now and she had a nightmere at 2am I gave her cuddles and then I went back to sleep in my own bed. In the morning my daughter said she dreamed about me giving her a hug.

So to some it up.
Some kids like to sleep if you are consistant, choose a method and stick to it. Some kids don't like to sleep and wake up no matter how consistant you are. My child does not eat very much at all. I have been consistant, for 3 months we would try to make her eat the same foods she rejected, bad idea she lost heaps of weight. I went to a nutritionist that has 5 kids of her own, she was amazed that my child would not eat the food I served. She just didn't want to eat.

Gold medal to anyone whose child sleeps all night, eats everything on ther plate, never hits or snatches toys, is perfectly toilet trained and never has accidents.

Fiona,  I just wanted to ask you why your mother is against breastfeeding.  I have never heard of that before.  Again, I realize this is off-topic, but I just had to ask.  It seems so contrary to the way I think- it would be like someone telling me they were against breathing!  But, your mother must have her reasons...  good for you for breastfeeding despite the lack of support!

Margaret - posted on 10/09/2009

I did what i called comp. feeds to my first, he was breast fed till he was 3yrs old yet from 5mths of age he had a bottle at the 11:30 feed.



This was because he was not putting on enough weight. Dad then took over this feed, that was his time to feed baby and mean't that i could go down a bit earlier. Dad and me found this to be a benifit, with sleep/ personal bonding with the baby each.. Which i needed as i was now pregnant again..

I then breast fed both when the second came along and we introduced dad's bottle feed at 3 mths. This helped with him too..

I now have had 5 kids and each and every one had the bottle feed with thier dad and now the eldest are teens and dad still cherishes his late night feeds that he had with them while the rest of the world was asleep.

There were still nights where they were unsettled, then it was my job to cuddle them to sleep.

I am a family support worker now and "BEST" is what is best to help each individual mum n bub, a healthy happy mother is a good mother.... no matter what they feed the bub or how.... there are cases of starvation.... that is what is not best.... nor is over feeding.... but to breast or bottle is a personal issue...

Luv a mum that has brest fed almost non stop for 13 yrs......

Christina - posted on 10/09/2009

I just have to say that my son will be four in two weeks, he is just now sleeping through the night. Sorry Breastfeeding moms, it's just how it is for us. While I do miss sleep (oh, how I miss sleep) I wouldn't change it. Now with my daughter who is 17 months and still nursing (I know I'll get some comments for that) she gets up from her crib every night and then we cuddle and go back to sleep. I work full time so she's alreay figured out that's just our time that no one else can have.

Kerry - posted on 10/08/2009

I believe babies have to learn how to get themselves to go to sleep, just like they learn to eat, talk and learn to walk. Yes, it happens in their own time, when their body is ready but a child isn't going to learn to walk if they are always strapped into a chair or pram, nor will they learn to talk if they arent encouraged or talked to. I think it's just the same with sleep - how are they going to learn to go to sleep if mummy (or daddy) comes rushing in with a boob or bottle everytime they make a murmur? I'm not talking about letting your child fall asleep from pure exhaustion from being left to cry, i think most mums have more commonsense that that - theres a big difference between seeing to your childs every whim and helping them to learn how to go to sleep. We know our own individual children and what they are capable of. I think if it has got to the point when your child is over six months and you are so sleep deprived that you feel you are not doing your best then perhaps it is time to TEACH your child about how to go to sleep! Yes, parenting is hard and has lots of challenges but it doesn't have to be a marathon

Summer - posted on 10/08/2009

Quoting Lidia:

Quoting Shirley:

horrifying experience?! Babies cry when they shit and want to feed, until you change or feed them. And he didn't cry for 20 min straight. And of coarse when he woke up in the night I would nurse and change until he fell back to sleep. Have some sense. I was just trying to help, but you judged me. have fun getting no sleep tonight. My family will get a GREAT night sleep.

Your family may get a great night's sleep, but for how long?  Research has proven that using the ferber method can lead to sleep disorders, anxiety, and depression later in life.  But I guess by then, your child will be out of the home and dealing with these issues on his own while you continue to blissfully sleep through the night.

The role of parent does not end at 10 pm.  Know what you are signing up for, folks, and don't bring a child into the world unless you are prepared to nurture him regardless of the time or how inconvenient it is to mom and dad. 

IMO, ignoring a child's only method of signalling distress is painfully close to qualifying as abuse.

I have to agree, willingly standing by while your baby is crying/screaming for you is INSANE.... it breaks my heart and brings me to tears whenever Savannah is crying out of distress, fear, confussion or pain.... I REFUSE to be the cause !!!  I am her mom, I am here to COMFORT HER and PROTECT HER NOT HURT HER!!!  While you are blissfully sleeping I will have a well rounded child that will know her mom is here for her WHEN EVER she needs / wants her!!! I am not here for her when it is convienent for me! Savannah is 4 1/2 month old, she slept really well the first 2 months, then we moved to the country and she is not sleeping as well, but its due to the lack of white noise, as well as she hit a growth spurt,but we have found other methods of noise for her, and I feed her when she wakes at night. normally it is for less than 10 minutes, its more for a Comfort thing for her, kinda like " you still there mommie" and I always Answer " Yes baby right here where you need me !!!"

If the Ferber method worked for you great, but there is no way in hell I would ever use it, I think it is border line neglect. and I choose to use the Sears method....

Im not trying to be a bitch, just honest.

Kiehrstin - posted on 10/08/2009

Quoting Chelsea:

It drives me insane to hear how often moms are using formula for any reason. We are made to feed our babies from out breast in VERY FEW cases is anything wrong that really warrants the use of a supplement and even then an sns feeder should be used....but do women even know what they are? No in most cases not because a lot of moms don't do their own research and don't question what they are told by so called "medical professionals". We need to stop blindly following like sheep and start to parent out children they way they deserve to be parented. I am tired of hearing the following:

1. They just wouldn't latch so I gave a bottle

2. It hurt so I have a bottle

3. I didn't think I was producing enough because of xxxx...so I gave a bottle.

4. I didn't want to nurse in public so I have a bottle

5. I wanted baby to sleep through the night so I gave a bottle

People who are having babies to then turn around and try to change them for convenience shouldn't be parents. There is even a woman on here asking about weaning her infant so she can go to cancun. What the hell is this world coming to.

Thanks for listening to me rant. I needed to get that off my chest.

If you want to join a group that doesn't not condone the use of formula unless in extreme situations join "Breastfeeding is love".

WE ARE RAISING PEOPLE NOT MANAGING AN INCONVIENCE!

Amy - posted on 10/08/2009

I found it much easier to nurse my baby at night then to make a bottle. But then again she slept with me too so all I had to do is roll over!



Amy

http://www.forhappyness.com

Whitney - posted on 10/08/2009

My breastfed daughter is almost 5 months and she also does sleep through the night. My doctor said to give her cereal before bed too! I think she sleeps better when it has been awhile since she has eaten. If she falls asleep with a really full tummy, she tends to wake up with gas, or a wet diaper! All people are different and respond differently to sleeping and eating! YES, it irks me too!

Naomi - posted on 10/08/2009

I have and will NEVER let my boys cry until they drop off to sleep through pure exhaustion! They cry for a reason not just to annoy or interrupt our sleep. My boys started waking in the night after previously sleeping through at about 9 mths my solution and it worked twice is to place my or husbands shirt we have worn that day in the cot with them they stir in the night smell a familiar comforting smell and drift back off to sleep no crying no distress. I have a happy 3yrold who sleeps through the night and an active 12mth old who does the same. That all said I believe we do what we believe is best for our own children, I personally wouldn't pierce my baby girls ears doesn't mean i would comment when someone else does. We spend so much time being scutinized as mothers that I think we should stick together and try ( notice i said try) not to srutinize each other.

Elizabeth - posted on 10/08/2009

Quoting Brandy:

Quoting Michelle:

It irks me that people would do that in a breastfeeding community, especially considering what an uphill battle it is to breastfeed exclusively at all. I guess I'm lucky, my baby started sleeping 4-5 hours a night pretty much once we were home from the hospital. She breastfed on demand exclusively for the first 5 1/2 months but now, at 9 months she's doing two solid food meals a day. She did get some formula in the hospital, we were forced to stay an extra day because she lost too much weight and only had one wet diaper, the day we were going to be discharged. The next day my milk came in and she's been fine on weight gain ever since. I can get a little judgmental about parenting philosophies but that's probably just because I'm a big nerd who loves research. It does make me a little sad that everyone gets so critical and vicious about parenting methods but I do believe that the reason my fellow "boob nazis" get so agitated by the CIO, formula, baby cereal in bottles crowd is that out there "irl" we are the one's who are constantly getting dumped on. Away from the internet we're the one's who are shunned for breastfeeding in public, or mocked for bed-sharing. Constantly being criticized for doing what's best for your baby and your family does make me a lot more critical of these "convenience" parents when they post in our communities about their completely socially acceptable child-rearing practices.

Well said!

Very well said!

Brandy - posted on 10/08/2009

Quoting Michelle:

It irks me that people would do that in a breastfeeding community, especially considering what an uphill battle it is to breastfeed exclusively at all. I guess I'm lucky, my baby started sleeping 4-5 hours a night pretty much once we were home from the hospital. She breastfed on demand exclusively for the first 5 1/2 months but now, at 9 months she's doing two solid food meals a day. She did get some formula in the hospital, we were forced to stay an extra day because she lost too much weight and only had one wet diaper, the day we were going to be discharged. The next day my milk came in and she's been fine on weight gain ever since. I can get a little judgmental about parenting philosophies but that's probably just because I'm a big nerd who loves research. It does make me a little sad that everyone gets so critical and vicious about parenting methods but I do believe that the reason my fellow "boob nazis" get so agitated by the CIO, formula, baby cereal in bottles crowd is that out there "irl" we are the one's who are constantly getting dumped on. Away from the internet we're the one's who are shunned for breastfeeding in public, or mocked for bed-sharing. Constantly being criticized for doing what's best for your baby and your family does make me a lot more critical of these "convenience" parents when they post in our communities about their completely socially acceptable child-rearing practices.

Well said!

Michelle - posted on 10/08/2009

It irks me that people would do that in a breastfeeding community, especially considering what an uphill battle it is to breastfeed exclusively at all. I guess I'm lucky, my baby started sleeping 4-5 hours a night pretty much once we were home from the hospital. She breastfed on demand exclusively for the first 5 1/2 months but now, at 9 months she's doing two solid food meals a day. She did get some formula in the hospital, we were forced to stay an extra day because she lost too much weight and only had one wet diaper, the day we were going to be discharged. The next day my milk came in and she's been fine on weight gain ever since. I can get a little judgmental about parenting philosophies but that's probably just because I'm a big nerd who loves research. It does make me a little sad that everyone gets so critical and vicious about parenting methods but I do believe that the reason my fellow "boob nazis" get so agitated by the CIO, formula, baby cereal in bottles crowd is that out there "irl" we are the one's who are constantly getting dumped on. Away from the internet we're the one's who are shunned for breastfeeding in public, or mocked for bed-sharing. Constantly being criticized for doing what's best for your baby and your family does make me a lot more critical of these "convenience" parents when they post in our communities about their completely socially acceptable child-rearing practices.

Elizabeth - posted on 10/08/2009

Quoting Lidia:

Quoting Chelsea:

Quoting Eartha:

Well I know personally my son is on breatmilk and formula. He has to be on both, becuase although he feeds well on the breast, I get nothing when I pump, so when I am away he gets formula. When I am home he gets to go on each breast once, then gets a small bottle usually bout 2-3 oz. I do this becuase I want him to be comfortable with both whether I am around him or not.

I will say this, at night I do give him rice cereal in his last bottle. I do it because 1) if i dont get atleast 4 straight hours i lose my mind and 2) (most important) my sons father has a condition called Pseudo Tumors, which has caused him to lose his sight and gives him horriffic headaches 24/7. I can't take care of everyone if I am sleepy, also his father usually has to take pain meds at night becuase his head hurts worse when he lays down, leaving everything up to me.

My son loves eating. He likes breast milk, but he also likes to be full. Everyone has to make the decision for themselves. No one is really right or worong, it is whatever works for you!

It shouldn't be "it is whatever works for you!"  It should be "whatever is best for your baby."

Chelsea,  I couldn't agree more!  That statement is at the very root of this entire thread, in my opinion.  Cereal in bottles, Ferberizing, etc... isn't it all in the name of what works best for Mom and Dad, and not what is best for baby?

I couldnt agree more with both of you. I wish people realized that too, they are doing what is convient for them and whats not best for baby!

Brandy - posted on 10/08/2009

It does really bother me that people aren't supportive of breastfeeding. And alot of mothers just underestimate how much their body knows about their babies and worry that they are not getting enough milk and just need reassurance and instead they get told to give up. Formula was invented to be used in hospitals by doctors for supplement of babies who have medical conditions at birth, lost their mothers, or the mother had an actual medical reason for not breastfeeding, then was released to the general public for convenience. I don't judge those who use it because usually they are just uninformed or scared and don't have enough encouragement and support. It is more difficult to get used to than bottle feeding and that's why alot of people give up due to lack of support but it always just makes me think "oh that's so sad" because it's so much better for the baby in so many ways. I think if you couldn't stick it out yourself, then maybe when you see somebody asking for help with it, maybe you should just scroll to the next question unless you have something encouraging to say!

Colleen - posted on 10/08/2009

GRRRR YES this irked me too.. especially because u are NOT supposed to mix cereal in a bottle ANYWAY...my daughter slep through early on and i breastfed exclusively. Babies are individuals also and have their own sleep patterns... no formula required

Tesha - posted on 10/08/2009

I have to agree with you Audrey. The conversation turned into people not accepting that others might not agree with them on their methods and its pretty sad. I think Shirley was singled out because of this ferber method. Although I would not do this method, it still is ok to allow your baby to cry for a few minutes.. thats not going to hurt him or her at all and I am pretty sure she knows that.



People just need to realize that this is for moms who want to talk, get advice, chit chat about whatever.. not to use it to act better than the next or know more than another. let's keep it peaceful and stop attacking. Just agree to disagree

LISA - posted on 10/08/2009

hi. i have four children, i breast fed my first two until they were four months (personally i think it gets wierd when they get teeth) but this time i am breast and bottle feeding, as much as i'd love to solely breast feed i just don't have the time with 3 other children, but it doesnt change the bond we have or how much i love her. breast is best but i dont think women should be made to feel bad if they dont do it. as for breast feeding a two year old i seriously think its wrong, healthy yes but wrong, you will all hate me for this and i dont mean to upset any1 but i dont think its right for a child of 2- or worse older suckling on their mums breast

Minnie - posted on 10/08/2009

Quoting Sarra:

breastfeeding is great if it works for u...but i didn't work for me, that doesn't make me a bad mom my daughter gets formula and....don't pass out or anything, but i give her cereal at night..and she sleeps no this is not for my convenience but her happiness she is a much happier baby when she gets a full nights rest and a full belly helps her do just that....ugh you women need to take a freaking xanax or something.

Oh, my, LOLz.

Taliah - posted on 10/08/2009

Quoting Danielle:

Quoting Kirstin:

My son wont nurse. I wdont think That makes me a bad mother. There are cases in which a baby will not nurse. I have gone thru 6 nurses and 2 lactation consultants and my son will not nurse. I pump every 2 hours but I am not a bad mother for having to bottle feed my son.

i don't think i said anything about that, of course formula is a good substitute for those who have genuine problems with breast feeding, i was annoyed at the people who discourage breastfeeding when they can for the sake of a bit of extra sleep.  i think it is great you tried your best and sought all the help you could, fair enough you tried and it didn't work that doesn't make you a bad mum

 I comend your effort!!  Your not a bad mother at all!  You gave it a good try and that's what matters.

Taliah - posted on 10/08/2009

Quoting Sarra:

breastfeeding is great if it works for u...but i didn't work for me, that doesn't make me a bad mom my daughter gets formula and....don't pass out or anything, but i give her cereal at night..and she sleeps no this is not for my convenience but her happiness she is a much happier baby when she gets a full nights rest and a full belly helps her do just that....ugh you women need to take a freaking xanax or something.

Sarra it's obvious your not educated in the benifits of breastfeeding, and I'm sorry for you.  It's not easy to brestfeed and it's a decision that you make for your child not for yourself.  Saying it didn't work for you means that you didn't make it work for you!  It's NOT EASY that's a fact.  I work 10 hours a day and still breatsfeed and wake up in the middle of the night to feed her.  Thats the sacrifice I make to make sure she gets what nature intended her to get.  Good, nutrious brestmilk.  This site is for mothers who brestfeed to give them support and to get support so if you don't then please don't waste your time and ours trying to make a case for yourself!  You know whats right becuase if you didn't you wouldn't feel the need to defend yourself.  Trust me children who wake up at night are happy too!  What do you think women did before formula huh?  Do you think the world was filled with unhappy babies?  Give me a break and take your thoughless idea's elsewhere.

Taliah - posted on 10/08/2009

My daughter is 6 months now and still wakes up at least 2x a night. I don't mind waking up with her, she often just sucks for a few seconds then drifts back to sleep. If she needs me I'm there and that's what matters! I don't understand women who feel it an inconvenience to wake up and tend to their children!? Motherhood is a sacrifice..that is you job!! I work the evening shift and getting home at 1am sometimes and if i can wake up after 10 hours on my feet there is no excuse for anyone! They need to realize that motherhood isn't easy, there are no shortcuts. Your baby will sleep through the night when she's good and ready. Stop stuffing her with Cow's milk and cereal just so you can get a few more hours of shut eye. The long term effects of breast milk are far better and worth so much more than all the sleep in the wold

Amanda - posted on 10/08/2009

ok so i am new to this! and well i have a 2 year old a 2month old.. both preemies.. my 2 year old was born at 30 weeks and i tried so hard to breast feed him but where he was soo little he was burning more calories then his intake so we went to bottle but only with breast milk in it.i pumped for 7 monhts and gave him the milk.. he didnot get formula till he was 10 months old and that was b.c when u soley pump your breast dry up a whole lot faster.. now i have a 2 month old and he was born at 34 weeks and that made a big difference i was more experinced with parting a preemie.. i have never introduce a bottle to him and don't care too even though evrybody else wants me too b/c its a inconvience to them.. but its not about them..its about my baby and what he needs now i still pump b/c he dosen't empty me out and i freeze it for the future.. but i did introduce ceral to my 2 year old at 4 months old not to make him sleep longer but he only got it once a day whenver i wanted him to have it didn't start fruits untill he was almost 6 months old.. never in a bottle the ceral i waited he was taking to a spoon.. and i will do the same with my 2 month old.. even though every one wants me to givehim cereal now so i can sleep but i am fine with it.. my 2 year old still gets up once through out the night so its no biggie to me.. i don't like the fact that u let your baby cry it out i tried that once with my 2 year old and i was sitting at his doore crying with him i just could not do it.. to know all he wanted was me and i was robbing him from me. they don't stay little for long so i don't mind tending to my kids thats why i had them to be the best mom i could be..we all have our faults .. as long as they can get the breast milk i think that is the most important thing.. i know its a major bonding thing between mom and child and i love it now that i can expericance with my 2 month old would not stop it for nothing.. like i said i am new to this group i hope this helps someone.. thanks for listing!!