does it irk you too

Mandy - posted on 10/03/2009

i co-sleep so my boobs are right there and i dont have to wake up to feed him. he feeds and goes back to sleep with no fuss.

i would rather have no sleep than let my baby cry for any period of time with out being in my arms, and i did for many nights until i brought him in bed with me. many nights sitting on the lounge putting him back to sleep. not any more.



yes, it does frustrate me reading over and over again "why wont my baby take a bottle so i can have a life"-honey, you agreed to have the baby, so give up your night time partying for a little while......"when will my baby sleep through"-seriously? when they are ready they will sleep through. solids doesnt help, bottles dont help, being left to cry is cruel and unkind. deal with it. it is what babies do....or my personal favorite..."the dr told me to let him cry so i will, dr's know what they are talking about- AAAHHHHH DOCTORS DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT. not when it comes to sleep. they give the quick fix solution. and when the child has sleep disorders, anxiety, and depression later in life, you will be paying that same doctor to fix the problem. My motherly instints tell me to cuddle my baby when he is sad. and that hasnt changed now my 1st son is 6yo. he puts himself to sleep and sleeps all night. i would expect that froma 6yo, not a baby. my 2nd son is 8mo, and goes to sleep in my arms everytime. he doesnt sleep through but i think of all those mothers and fathers out there who have either lost their baby or cant have children and think about how they would give anything to be in my situation.



Cherish everything. they grow too fast.

April - posted on 10/03/2009

my son is 9 months old and he still nurses twice a night, but i don't feel tired. it is usually quick and he goes right back to bed. first time moms need to remember that breast feeding is a process that changes as the child gets older. all you need is a little bit of patience and the day that you get a full night's sleep will come! i agree that extra food at night is unnecessary and probably unhealthy

Nicole - posted on 10/03/2009

mothering is not a nine-five job that some would prefer it is in fact 24/7. sleeping through the night is part of a brand of convenience based parenting that is further encouraged by the bleeding formula companies. though we all could use a bit more sleep, your baby's needs outweigh those extra minute/hours. a baby has no concept of time as we use it so it is irrational to impose our adult schedules on them. I gladly nurse on demand- granted co-sleeping certainly is helpful for my sleep needs. Adults wake up thirsty in the middle of the night so it is logical for a baby to have thirst needs as well. Hell, my one year old still wakes up here and there for a drink, no problem since we still co-sleep. I get soooo uber pissed when I hear folks use the F*Bomb when dispensing advice to a new breastfeeding mother. The stink nuggets at Mead Johsnon aren't making it easier with their poisonous new Enfamil Restful garbage- it is meant to thicken in the baby's stomach to keep them full longer. They are marketing it like it is liquid gold. BAH! Sorry to come off as ranty.

Goundy - posted on 10/03/2009

I think I lucked out with my daughter. She will be 3 months next wk and she has been sleeping for 8 hrs strait for almost a month and a half. I nurse her until she falls asleep and that is it. 8 hrs later on the dot she is awake and ready to greet the word.

It is nice that we always get to share that moment together.

Sylvia - posted on 10/03/2009

Yes, that is annoying. But I don't expect mums will stop giving one another that kind of advice until we all stop obsessing about getting babies to sleep through the night at ridiculously early ages. If I had a dollar for every time I was asked, when my daughter was an infant, "Is she a good baby? Is she sleeping through yet?" -- as if (a) these two things were synonymous and (b) sleeping through was a reasonable expectation for a baby as young as a few months -- her RESP would now be much bigger :^P. (Mostly I would smile and say "Oh, yes, she's very good at being a baby!" and pretend I didn't know what they meant.) As a society, we need to let go of this idea that babies owe their parents a full night's sleep. Guess what -- we're parents at night, too!

I know that cribs and Ferber do work well for many people, with no obvious trauma resulting, although I can't say I find either of them an appealing option. I can't help thinking that the people who say "It's not that bad! He fussed for a few minutes three nights in a row and then he went right to sleep!" have a VERY different sort of baby from the sort I had. I can about guarantee that she'd have cried all night for a month if we'd been willing to put her (and ourselves) through that, and still never "learned" to go to sleep on her own.

Olivia - posted on 10/03/2009

my baby slept throgh at 6 weeks and was soley breastfed now shes alomost 7 mos and a couple imes a week i supplement cuz my milk slowed down

Karen - posted on 10/03/2009

My daughter turned 6 months old today.She has been exclusivly breastfed, no formula nor any cereal and no baby food.She has been sleeping all night for about two weeks.I did nothing to encourage her she just started doing it on her own.She does have a small amount of light and white noise to sleep by.

Jan - posted on 10/03/2009

Hi Danielle, I totally agree with you. I B/F all 4 of my children (now aged 14~25). I never had any real problems with it, just things like sore nipples, which at the time believe me, I was in so much pain I felt like jacking it in, but someone introduced me to an ointment called CAMILLOSAN, it was fantastic, I would highly recommend it. For those not so happy to B/F then thats fine, I would never say you must, but mums who are happy to then carry on, its so good for your baby (& totally free, a win, win situation). Enjoy feeding your baby, you're giving them a great start in life. x

Jessica - posted on 10/03/2009

AMEN!!! It's pretty messed up that the "Breastfeeding Moms" has people in the community who suggest giving formula or food when it's too early for food. Babies need to be 6 months before starting food, there are risks associated w/ starting it earlier.
My son is 1 yr & he still wakes up once for a little extra milk or comfort every now & again. I have no problem giving it to him!! They are only this small for a short while & before you know it it will be over!
Keep up with the breastfeeding! Don't give up, it's totally worth it!

Jessica - posted on 10/03/2009

It really bothers me. The reason some babies sleep longer with formula or cereal (which is total crap and only supposed to be spoon fed anyway) is cause it's harder to digest. Is a pain in the baby belly really worth MAYBE a little more sleep? I don't think so. I never gave my baby either. You'd think that with all the people complaining about how their baby won't sleep all night that moms would realize HEY! MAYBE IT'S NORMAL! Frequent feedings and comfort are needs, not "problems" to be "solved" with unnatural food.

Chelsea - posted on 10/03/2009

Audrey,

Unfortunately there is no way to stop the flow of such emotion over parenting because of the sheer fact that there is no way to screen women our who provide damaging support and advice. Of course parents who know the effects of the CIO method will become upset just as any parent would become upset if told that a child was being neglected. If no one put in a rebuttal and set the truth forward there would continue to be women who will use damaging parenting methods. It is sad that it has to come to this but honestly there is no other way to inform members reading this that the information is damaging without coming right out and saying it. I for one do not feel okay sitting back and allowing parents to feel that allowing a child to CIO is acceptable. I feel for any child that is put in that position.

Audrey - posted on 10/03/2009

I just happened to come across this group, thinking it was for support, but unfortunately it appears to be nothing more than bored women being very spiteful and catty. The original post was for 'honest debate' on how to get your baby to sleep through the night without formula and cereal. All I see is women attacking Shirley because she used the Ferber method! It's her choice to use whatever method she chooses. I don't know that I'll be looking to a group with such mean comments for support.

Katie - posted on 10/03/2009

Also wanted to point out that even people that agree with ferber method, don't usually recommend it's use until at least 6 months.



I have never met a person that found controlled crying easy. All mothers I have spoken to have told me how hard it was. This to me tells me that it's unnatural and against your mothers instinct - this is for a reason. We have instincts that make us do what is right and natural for our children and leaving them to cry goes right against all natural instincts.



As for a good night's sleep - I'm willing to trade that for a secure child that is not damaged in later life x

Amanda - posted on 10/03/2009

i am not currently breastfeeding. my daughter is 3 years and 5 months old. i breastfed her until she was 3 years old which might seem odd to some people. i like most moms did not get a solid night while breastfeeding. which did not bother me. now that i am not brestfeeding i am still not getting a solid night sleep b/c she wakes me up when she gets up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. as parents we should except this things.

as much as i heard oh give them some cereal or just some formula. that didnt work for me on many levels. one, my daughter was never feed with a bottle nor used a pacifier. i did not want the attachment to those things. just me, not saying anything is wrong with it. my husband did not like that i was getting up all the time and agreed with the random people that attempted to give us advice which did not help our marriage.

for the moms that have little babys that are nursing. some time nursing is better than not at all, but in my opinion when you start nursing you make a commit to your babys well being and i personally believe you should nurse as long as your baby/body will let you. people rush to do whatever is convenient with my things in life, dont do it with your child too

Lidia - posted on 10/03/2009

Quoting Shirley:

horrifying experience?! Babies cry when they shit and want to feed, until you change or feed them. And he didn't cry for 20 min straight. And of coarse when he woke up in the night I would nurse and change until he fell back to sleep. Have some sense. I was just trying to help, but you judged me. have fun getting no sleep tonight. My family will get a GREAT night sleep.

Your family may get a great night's sleep, but for how long?  Research has proven that using the ferber method can lead to sleep disorders, anxiety, and depression later in life.  But I guess by then, your child will be out of the home and dealing with these issues on his own while you continue to blissfully sleep through the night.

The role of parent does not end at 10 pm.  Know what you are signing up for, folks, and don't bring a child into the world unless you are prepared to nurture him regardless of the time or how inconvenient it is to mom and dad. 

IMO, ignoring a child's only method of signalling distress is painfully close to qualifying as abuse.

Chelsea - posted on 10/03/2009

Shirley do some research on the effects that the ferber method have on infant. They are not meant to be left to cry and as a result that leads to an insecure attachment between caregivers and infant when left to cry. Do you have any education in early childhood? Well I do and I am here to say the research is against you. The Ferber method is psychologically damaging. If you want me to site my sources I would be glad to.

As a side note my daughter learned to sleep through the night without being left to cry. She is 12 months old and sleeps 7-6:15. Lazy parents use the ferber method while those of us who know how to raise healthy and happy children who are securely attached teach our children how to fall asleep without being left to cry.

Shirley - posted on 10/03/2009

lol he did wake up during the night. This just got him on a schedule. He's sleeping through the night when he was ready. Thanx for not being snooty... I'm just trying to help, isn't that what this site is about?

Shirley - posted on 10/03/2009

horrifying experience?! Babies cry when they shit and want to feed, until you change or feed them. And he didn't cry for 20 min straight. And of coarse when he woke up in the night I would nurse and change until he fell back to sleep. Have some sense. I was just trying to help, but you judged me. have fun getting no sleep tonight. My family will get a GREAT night sleep.

Jessie - posted on 10/03/2009

I agree with Danielle. Formula and cereal aren't the answer especially when they are so young. I don't plan to give my son anything other than breastmilk til 6 months. Sleepless nights be damned, if you had a baby you should be expecting that!

Chelsea - posted on 10/03/2009

It drives me insane to hear how often moms are using formula for any reason. We are made to feed our babies from out breast in VERY FEW cases is anything wrong that really warrants the use of a supplement and even then an sns feeder should be used....but do women even know what they are? No in most cases not because a lot of moms don't do their own research and don't question what they are told by so called "medical professionals". We need to stop blindly following like sheep and start to parent out children they way they deserve to be parented. I am tired of hearing the following:

1. They just wouldn't latch so I gave a bottle

2. It hurt so I have a bottle

3. I didn't think I was producing enough because of xxxx...so I gave a bottle.

4. I didn't want to nurse in public so I have a bottle

5. I wanted baby to sleep through the night so I gave a bottle

People who are having babies to then turn around and try to change them for convenience shouldn't be parents. There is even a woman on here asking about weaning her infant so she can go to cancun. What the hell is this world coming to.

Thanks for listening to me rant. I needed to get that off my chest.

If you want to join a group that doesn't not condone the use of formula unless in extreme situations join "Breastfeeding is love".

Kerry - posted on 10/03/2009

We hear it all the time don't we! "Give them formula or cereal and they'll sleep through" Yes it irks me...my son bf until 9 months, he is now 17 months and has woken up at night since he has been on formula!! He slept through from 2 months until 7 months.



I think the key to getting older bubs, from 6 months onwards (coz although some of us are lucky we can't really expect babies younger than this to sleep through) is to feed them right by not letting them have lots of little comfort feeds throughtout the day. Which is what i did towards the end...oops!



ppl will always have their input, we need to be informed right at the beginning in hospital that things like formula and cereals will NOT necessarily help your baby sleep through!!

Marina - posted on 10/03/2009

yep, choosing b/w bottle of formula at night and Ferber, I think i would prefer formula... way less damage. although my son never had formula, I did give him pacifier for a while at night so he could sleep a little longer.

Ruth - posted on 10/03/2009

I breastfed my twins and my daughter slept through at 6 weeks and my son who was smaller was sleeping through by 10 weeks. I routinely fed them during the day so they knew what came next. They never got colic because they had time to digest their milk in between each feed.



I think we underestimate children sometimes. My son had learn't to wink by the age of 10 weeks. They are more capable than we give them credit for, they are truely incredible!!

Danielle - posted on 10/03/2009

Quoting Kristin :

Quoting Shirley:

Sorry to hear that. I tried the ferber method when my son was 4 months. Ever since then he has been sleeping from 8pm to 9am. He's a happeir healthier baby because he gets all the sleep he needs. He is 16 moths now. I have an 8 day old baby now and when she is 4 months I will do the same. You can get sleep at night. look it up it worked for me. Oh, and I never gave my son cereal, I never gave him sugar or salt till just recently. You can do the right thing without feeling guilty. You just got to stick with it. Made our lives so much easier. Take care

What a horrifying experience for the baby using this method! Why would you want your baby to cry for that long when you are the baby's only source of comfort. It doesn't last a lifetime! It's easier for both mother and baby if you just nurse back to sleep. It couldn't be healthy for a baby to cry for 20 minutes!

sorry shirley i have to agree with Kirstin, for me i don't think i could do that but if it worked for you and you are happy with it then good for you, i just think my little girl needs to know she can reley on at least one person in her life and feel safe and secure knowing that her needs have been met, i do realise that you are trying to be helpful and sharing what worked for you but as i said i don't expect Niven to sleep through yet, even my CHN agrees that it is normal for babies to still wake up at night at her age

Kristin - posted on 10/03/2009

Quoting Shirley:

Sorry to hear that. I tried the ferber method when my son was 4 months. Ever since then he has been sleeping from 8pm to 9am. He's a happeir healthier baby because he gets all the sleep he needs. He is 16 moths now. I have an 8 day old baby now and when she is 4 months I will do the same. You can get sleep at night. look it up it worked for me. Oh, and I never gave my son cereal, I never gave him sugar or salt till just recently. You can do the right thing without feeling guilty. You just got to stick with it. Made our lives so much easier. Take care

What a horrifying experience for the baby using this method! Why would you want your baby to cry for that long when you are the baby's only source of comfort. It doesn't last a lifetime! It's easier for both mother and baby if you just nurse back to sleep. It couldn't be healthy for a baby to cry for 20 minutes!

Shirley - posted on 10/03/2009

Sorry to hear that. I tried the ferber method when my son was 4 months. Ever since then he has been sleeping from 8pm to 9am. He's a happeir healthier baby because he gets all the sleep he needs. He is 16 moths now. I have an 8 day old baby now and when she is 4 months I will do the same. You can get sleep at night. look it up it worked for me. Oh, and I never gave my son cereal, I never gave him sugar or salt till just recently. You can do the right thing without feeling guilty. You just got to stick with it. Made our lives so much easier. Take care

Kristin - posted on 10/03/2009

My baby is 7 1/2 months and still wakes up at least once a night! It's almost sickening when I hear people say that. I don't mind comforting my baby in the middle of the night...if they wake up, they need something whether it's to eat or for comfort. I figure it doesn't last for too long!