Extended breastfeeding - do you mind telling people?

Alice - posted on 02/07/2012

my son will be 2 in a week the only person that knows that i still BF is my partner im a little embarresed :( if i nurse him in the night its the only thing that keeps him asleep and when he goes for a nap during the day, he goes to bed with out it. i REALLY want to stop if any of u mums have any suggetions please help??

Ricki - posted on 02/07/2012

lol everyone knows my boy is still going at two yrs old :) It's rather obvious when he just latches on or asks for boobies.

I'm not ashamed nor am I scared of what people will think.

I have four children and all have breastfed till 2 or 3 yrs old and never have I hidden it or not told someone.



I did shock the man at the take away shop the other month when he asked me if I had lost weight and how. And I replied that yes I had lost 10kgs from breastfeeding my son. The look on his face was priceless :)



I have never experienced anything negative ever in the 9yrs I've breastfed. I find people are just more curious than anything. And a simple he/she will stop when they are ready suffices and then answering any questions they have.

Heather - posted on 02/04/2012

I dont bring it up, but I certainly dont hide it. I am SO proud of the fact that at 2yrs, 7 months we are still breastfeeding. And he is certainly not showing any signs of stopping, he still has 4-5 feeds a day!

Veronica - posted on 02/01/2012

i understand not telling people- I am still nuring my 1yr old and my mother-in-law just dosen't understand. she adopted both my husband and another child so she never breastfed- and assumes i stopped a long time ago. if she asked i would be honest... but she hasn't. i think you should do what makes you happy and everyone else can bugger off. it's nobody's buisness but your own anyway. I am starting to wean my baby- because i want to, not becasue of pressure from anyone else. Breastfeeding is a special realtionship between you and your child and everyone is different. 6months, 6years, i hope everyone is happy with thier breastfeeding experience.

Maree - posted on 01/31/2012

I would be proud to tell people...actually i kinda like their shocked reaction to it.

I think its a great thing to do and although i don't go round pulling my boob out when my child doesn't need it...i will not hide it either.I am very proud and i like it when people ask how long i will bf for.

Cookie - posted on 10/24/2011

I bfed 2 kids until 2yrs old. I am bfeeding the third as we speak at 2 months. The plan is to continue until 24 months. I am proud. Be confident of right choices that you make.

Candice - posted on 10/22/2011

I am still nursing my 3 year old, I have no problem telling people about it or doing it in public. I have only gotten a couple smarmy comments. One from a dude with no children. I just kept on going. Who was he to tell the DM of the DnD gaming he was playing in she was wrong? Hello! dead character lol.
I nursed outside in the grass at the Warrior Dash Missouri last weekend. I might've broken a nursing law as I was not discreet and their law says be as discreet as possible. But then again I was showing less cleavage with a babe on my chest than when she was off. *chuckle* I only got one stinky look there and that was from a leatherfaced old bat who was smoking with kids around-bitch lol.

Pam - posted on 10/22/2011

that's good advice, although, once I was nursing my two year old in the nursing room wilts pregnant at a shopping mall, just because I thought I would get reprieve from the public eye. Well low and behold, another nursing mother to an almost 4 month old looked at me in disgust and said...."how long are you going to feed her??? ewww I cant imagine feeding mine after she has teeth" and she continued to stare at me with this screwed up face like it was something completely wrong... you know I have no problem with first time nursers when they keep wondering how long it'll continue, and how they may find it hard at first, but some people need to learn some manners. I nursed her right there in front of her out of spite, but I felt like I was sitting on an American idle stage being judged in the worst way, not only were my hormones raging, I seriously felt like punching her in the face... lol come to think about it though she looked very uncomfortable, and angry about breastfeeding, I sure hope her attitude changed in time....

Aixa - posted on 10/22/2011

I nursed my son until he was 2.5, I nursed him ant home an in public, and have neer feel embarrased by it, theonly reason we stoped was because I had to travel 2 weeks out of the country and we got unvoluntarily weaned, but I never felt my nursing my son was someone elses bussiness, i never hide it but it was not open to be discusse with anyone but his dad, who was very ecouraging about it, I have to add that my son is a very healthy boy, emotionaly very secure and relax and very smart, which I am sure has to do with the fact he was nursed long, my sister also nursed her kids for a long time, she even nursed her first whilepregnant with her second, and never hided it. But I must dayd that you do as you feel right for you and if others knowing you'r still nursing is a stressful thing, so then do it in private, however you feel comfortable... congratulations for keeping it this long!

Katie - posted on 10/21/2011

I'm still nursing my 18 month old, and most people know it. I'm sure that there's many people that assume she's weaned, but before she was even 1 I told people that I planned on letting her self-wean. At first, I just mentioned at least 2 years, but not sure. Now, my goal is at least 3 years. We'll see how I feel about telling everyone when she gets older.

Roxanne - posted on 10/20/2011

Dont be ashamed. Im sure our bodies were meant to nurse for that long. As long as your both still comfortable with it then thats all that matters.

Pam - posted on 10/20/2011

be proud!! its okay it really is, your doing a great job and doing your babycakes a great honor~ I tell everyone that I fed my oldest till a bit over 2 then my second one was born and I had to tandrum nurse a bit until the oldest one naturally weaned herself through keeping busy, she asked from time to time afterwards but I gave her some juice and she was good ;-)good for you!

Ella - posted on 10/18/2011

i have 21 month old twins who i still breastfead and im completely open about it. i also have a 3 year old who i just stopped breastfeeding about 5 months ago when she was 2.

Melissa - posted on 10/18/2011

So, I've answered the post before. But felt like updating. I'm still nursing my third child, she's three and half now. We typically nurse just at home, but since I'm working on my photography thesis proposal and photographing nursing mom's and she usually comes with, there have been instances that she's wanted to nurse elsewhere, so we have been nursing in public more. I had tried weening her because she was having dental issues and the dentist had said it was because of the breastfeeding. This had caused me much agony and stress. The more I tried to ween her the more she wanted to nurse. Her teeth are fixed now and I've come to the realization that it wasn't the breastfeeding but more likely the chocolate milk I would give her instead of nursing. (sigh)
Also, my child who had nursed until he was 23 months, I had only weened him because I was due to have his sister in a month. He wasn't really ready to ween and now is completely orally fixeated (spell?). I really feel it is because I weened him before he was ready.
My conclusion, each child and relationship is unique and need to be treated as such. If they want to continue to nurse let them. It's not going to hurt them and has so many benefits for both mother and child.

Delia - posted on 10/17/2011

I gotta tell ya. I thought I'd done a good job nursing my youngest until he was 4, when I cut him off. He's 4 1/2 and STILL saying "I want to nurse!". My 26 year old daughter is the one most vocally opposed, mind you she nursed her daughter until she was 4 years old as well. Now I feel a little guilty like I might have actually cut him off too soon. I just don't know......

Lindsay "Lindy" - posted on 10/17/2011

I love Eight Crazy Nights! LOL very funny what your son said. Yes I do "tandem" nurse both my children mostly, and sometimes my 4 year old son prefers to be just alone with me. But thank god I don't have a 3rd kid b/c then I would need a third breast LOL!

Sherry - posted on 10/17/2011

Lindy Mara : love to hear that you are nursing your 2 children..... do you ever "tandem" nurse them? I had 3 children nursing for a short period of time. I remember watching the movie , I think it is called 8 crazy nights, with Adam Sandler......silly movie really ..... anyway at the end there was a woman(cartoon) with 3 breasts and one of my boys walked and saw this and said " ohhhh momma that is what you need " ..... my husband and I had to keep ourselves from dieing laughing , cause he was completely serious . LOL :) life is wonderful !!!!!

Sherry - posted on 10/17/2011

I never have a problem ..... to each his own and who do people think they are trying to tell me how to raise my children :) My eldest son tells his entire health class last year that he nursed til he was nearly 7 yrs. of age. Of course he was not nursing like an infant or even a toddler but never the less he still loved his nunnies. He is a very healthy intelligent young man !!

Faith - posted on 10/17/2011

I haven't read through the comments so someone may have expressed this sentiment already. Breastfeeding is a very personal decision. Some opt not to for a variety of reasons. Some wean early, others later. Personally, I opted for extended breastfeeding because I sincerely believe in the long-term benefits of it over the short term, cosmetic, or social pressures to the contrary. Did I face flack from some that discovered my choice, sure, but I've never been one to bow to social pressure for what is right or personal for my life.



If you believe in the benefits of extended breastfeeding, by all means, please hold steadfast to that. It is more than just feeding and nutrient experience. It bonds mother and child and reinforces a security and comfort in both mother and child that is not measured on opinions but love, nurturing, and joy. I feel that I have a very well-developed and secure child because of that choice.



You DO NOT have to advertise your private decision to extend breastfeeding any more than you would advertise what you and spouse do behind closed doors. What OTHERS' opinion of what you choose to do to protect, nurture, and develop your family is none of your business..... or theirs.



Too many people have opinions on others' lives and choices yet want to be left alone for their own.



My .02

Lindsay "Lindy" - posted on 10/16/2011

I am also lucky and proud that my husband, my mom and dad, and my siblings support me in Extended Breasfeeding my 4 year old son and 2 year old daughter.

Ashley - posted on 10/15/2011

I LOVE that people know that I "Extended" breastfeed... I am hoping more women put it out there to normalize it... I'm proud of it.

Becky - posted on 10/14/2011

I am nursing my almost 19 month old, plan to let him decide when he's done, and I don't care who knows. I nurse him in public, I will tell off family who gives me the "He's STILL nursing?!" thing.. I've even had to be stern with my husband about it. But, it really doesn't make a difference to me who knows. I'm proud of it. On the other hand, I have friends that formula feed their 9 month olds and younger and they like being around me because I "don't make them feel bad" even though I'm doing my own thing around them. :) So, it's been a win win.

Keri - posted on 10/13/2011

My daughter just weened herself at 2 years 8 months. I didn't hide it from anyone that I was still breastfeeding. I don't care what anyone else thinks, this is between my daughter and myself. I didn't announce that I was still breastfeeding, but I didn't hide it either.

Laura Zoey - posted on 10/12/2011

Breastmilk is by far the healthiest thing our babies and toddlers, and yes even kids and adults could drink! Breastmilk has so many health benefits and it never stops being nutritious and healthy. In many countries the elderly or sick are given breastmilk to drink because they know it's very good for fighting disease.



There's no 'too old'

And theres no age where it stops being jam packed full of nutrients :)



Remember ladies! Biting is a bump in the road, it never has to be the end of the road!

There's many curves and bumps in the journey of breastfeeding, but if you are determined to make it through there's no need to quit at the first sight of trials.

Cynthia - posted on 10/12/2011

Im still nursing my 2 yr old and will untill shes done.....I nursed my other girl till she was 5 yrs old......yes 5....it wasnt an all day thing....mostly after I piked her up fr preschool and at bed time.....yes people would trip....those close 2 me had alot of smart ass remarks....but I didnt care....its not about them n their security.....its about ur babies.....one day ur nursing experience will b over....im sure goin to miss it so if my 2 yr old now nurses till shes 5 thats fine....should not be ashamed of securing ur baby with good stuff....2 yr olds are still very young...

Sofia - posted on 10/08/2011

I am still nursing my 15 month old and dont plan on weaning anytime soon. I feel like its my job (as others have mentioned) to make brestfeeding more common. Sometimes I find they are pregnant and have questions or that they were wrongly informed and I am able to set the record straight (such as my 27 yr old brother). most people are pleasantly suprised especially because i have a 3 and 2 yr old as well as being a young mom (23yrs). I just show them how amazing it is and how proud i am of this big success my son and i have been through! i feel its to be celebrated. I brush off any negativity. but i understand why it would be uncomfortable to some moms.

Ann - posted on 10/08/2011

You are right, you shouldn't have to explain yourself and if it feels right for you to still be breastfeeding your 2 year old you carry on doing it. I breastfed my 3 year old until he was 2 and would probably have carried on longer had it not been for the fact that I was due again 2 months later and didn't want him to feel as though the new baby was the reason that I stopped breastfeeding him. My other son is now 14 months old and the thought of stopping breastfeeding him fills me with dread as he is going to be my last and I want to keep that feeling as long as possible.

Maria - posted on 10/05/2011

I say,

Be PROUD that you still have that intimate connection with your baby and are still breastfeeding.. Id give the world to still be breastfeeding my kids.. And its also the best thing for them!! Who cares what others may say!! Its all about you and whats best for your baby =]

Mellissa - posted on 10/04/2011

I did it very publicly with my first two so people couldn't help but know. I was even forced to leave a family function once because of it. I understand wanting to hide it but as someone who is strong I feel it is my personal responsibility to be a advocate. Eventually if it's seen enough it will be as normal as bottles have become. That being said I let everyone assume that my kids have their own rooms even though my almost 5 year old and my 18mnth old share a bed w/ my husband and I.

Mandi - posted on 09/30/2011

I never thought Id nurse so long but with our last child I found I was still nursing at 2&1/2as if nursing her would keep her a baby longer. I do say it with a little bit of shame but still defend myself easily. however, that being said, it was a blessing because my sister had a low birth weight baby 3 months ago(5lbs 1 oz) and then my sister died leaving us with a tiny 3 week old miricle. I was lucky that i was still nursing my 2&1/2 yr old because it allowed me to immediatly nurse my neice/new daughter and shes now growing well!

Mary - posted on 09/29/2011

My daughter just turned 3 and is still demanding boobies. I want to let her self ween.. After having my son last year, my daughter has regressed some and BF is part of it. I would like her to be done but no signs. Mostly we our home bodies so we do not BF in Public and even if people are over I will tell her to wait. or we will go down for a nap if she wants BF. People who have something to say mostly have not BFed so they don't know what their talking about.

Dru - posted on 09/29/2011

I BFed until my daughter was 18 1/2 months old when she self-weaned. I never gave people the chance to judge. Although I never BFed in public, (mainly because we were never in public when she wanted to) whenever someone asked if I wanted a drink or commented on not looking like I had a baby I would always proudly say I was BFing. Sometimes I could tell they were uncomfortable about it, but honestly, I didn't care because I was proud of myself. I never thought I would BFed that long, for some reason I thought I could wean at 12 months. HAHA the joke was on me. Moms who can do it, more power to you, but not me. I couldn't tell her no but we did work to get on a schedule after 12 months of age. It made it easier to plan outtings and such. Oh and guess what, a month after I stopped BFing my daughter she got a stomach bug and the next week she got a cold. She had never been sick before that.

Lindsay "Lindy" - posted on 09/29/2011

I am still breastfeeding my 4 year old son and 2 year old daughter, and no sign of weaning. If we are in public and if one of them are hungry I breastfeed them in public or wherever we are at. I do get positive comments from other mom's and the negative comments come from people who don't have children.

Alexandria - posted on 09/28/2011

My daughter is 2.5 and I still nurse her. I never planned to nurse this long but my daughter is very attached to it and is happy and healthy. I'm a SAHM and I dont have any good reason to take it away from her. I dont advertise this fact but if people ask me, I tell them the truth and if I'm at a friend or family member's home and she wants to nurse, I still let her, discreetly as possible. I was visiting old school mates this summer and someone asked me while I was nursing, "Isn't she like five?' A male family member's advice was that it would be several days of 'pure hell' if I weaned her now but would be 'well worth it'. People are full of advice that have no business adding their two cents. Chances are, most people that would have a problem with it really dont care to understand why mothers nurse their children, so who cares what people who chose to be ignorant think. I say -chose- because in this day and age if people wanted to understand all they would have to do is look online at case studies of breast feeding compared to formula feeding. I dont mean to be harsh but to judge a mother negatively for nursing their child is pretty harsh if you ask me. As mothers we try to do whats best for our children and if that isn't socially acceptable, oh well! Our childs best interest still takes priority. People blindly doing whats socially acceptable has gotten our country in a huge mess so I'm proud to stand apart from the crowd, even if only in this small way.



I'd honestly love to wean... For the past 2.5 years, my breasts have no longer been my own. But I dont want to traumatize my daughter by taking it away from her when she's so obviously not ready and still benefitting from it. We'll get past it when she and I are both good and ready to move on.



I will add that I was recently considering weaning my daughter and was fielding for advice to accomplish it. The response I got from other moms made me realize I was trying to wean her for the wrong reasons. One of these days, I'll be glad to call my body my own again. But until then, I remind myself of what my daughter is gaining, the reasons I decided to nurse in the first place, and also that although she is becoming a big girl in a lot of ways, she's also still a baby in a lot of ways and that's okay! What's the rush? One day she'll truly be a big girl and I'll miss this special time we're sharing.

Jessica - posted on 09/28/2011

I know what you mean. I nursed my first two boys until they were 2. My third son showed no signs of being ready to stop at 2. I ended up nursing him until he was 2.5. It was uncomfortable for me to talk about with other people, especially those who I knew would have an attitude of, you're STILL doing that?!?! Ultimately, I pretty much kept it to myself because of those prejudices you mentioned. If someone asked, I didn't mind telling them, otherwise I kept it to myself.

Claire - posted on 09/28/2011

My daughter is 19 months and I'm proud to tell people that she still bfs every day several times a day!!!

The more information and exposure to extended bf, the better! Let's educate the people around us and hopefully more people will want to do the same with their babies!

Don't be embarrassed. This is what is best for your baby always and this is what boobies are for! If I makes you and your baby happy, how can you be ashamed?!

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/26/2011

Thats why i dont say 'extended breastfeeding' I say 'full term breastfeeding'
And full term means whenever your child feels ready to be done, with or without encouragement from mom but not forcing. Usually sometime between 2.5-7 years :)

Tania - posted on 09/26/2011

I have no problem telling people and I nursed my son until he was three years old. Then he nursed a few more times after his sister was born at 3.5 years and into his fourth year.

Look at it this way - "extended" breastfeeding is completely normal and healthy. It's true the majority of people don't do extended breastfeeding (let's face it, the majority don't even breastfeed), however that doesn't make it abnormal. Just like breastfeeding itself, extended breastfeeding will be seen as normal and healthy when more people are exposed to it and it is seen as a regular thing.

Veronica - posted on 09/26/2011

such a conroversial topic (bad speller) and I got into a similar argument about ages and breastfeeding. Unfortunetly social norms end up playing a big part in something like this- personally I am not a fan of breastfeeding past 2yrs ish, but I would like to think that the breastfeeding community could support eachother no matter how long they breastfeed. It can be a difficult thing to master, and without support many moms quit early, for a variety of reasons. I am nursing my 8m daughter (i love it) and just had a conversation with my mom-in-law about "you're STILL nursing?". Let's support eachother! This is sometimes the only place a breastfeeding mom can get support.

Kathy - posted on 09/26/2011

I am still nursing my 3 1/2 yr old and only a few people know that I am still nursing- I find it hard to tell strangers that I am still nursing for fear of how they will react.. I Love it though so I will keep going until it is time and keep it to myself ")

Kathy - posted on 09/26/2011

I am still nursing my 3 1/2 yr old and only a few people know that I am still nursing- I find it hard to tell strangers that I am still nursing for fear of how they will react.. I Love it though so I will keep going until it is time

Ashleigh - posted on 09/24/2011

i think ppl assumed i stopped because my daughter is 2 1/2, but when they see me breastfeed now, they feel uncomfortable around me....not my fault their misinformed. i get extremely rude comments from my mother in law about it still, but what does she know, she never breastfed.

Abigail - posted on 09/23/2011

My daughter (who has been off the charts since birth, she tests at age 4 when she was 2 and has had 2 colds no ear infections or sore throats) exclusively breastfed until she was a year and then she weaned herself at 2 years 3 months. I feel like I would breastfeed my next child as long as they wanted also. Everyone in my and my husbands family knew how long I breastfed, I was open about it. I basically didn't tell anyone else unless it was a need to know thing.` I was proud to tell her doctors and most other people. But there are a lot of people out there that are very strange about it. I would just kinda feel people out to know whether or not they would flip out or not. I think it is important for everyone to know the great deal of good that comes from letting the child self wean. I think people forget that this is was breasts are for.

Kellie - posted on 09/21/2011

My almost 28-month old still supplements by breastfeeding. I'm pretty open about it but usually feel I have to justify the length by falling back on" the World Health Organization reccomends continuing until 2 and we are in the process of weaning". I really think it should be the reverse and people should leave it alone unless and until there is hard proof of harm to my child - she'll wean when she's ready and for now, she and I have code for when she wants to nurse and she does know she can't unless we are home alone.

Lee-Ann - posted on 09/19/2011

I don't flaunt it but I aslo don't hide the fact that my 1st son weaned at 5, my daughter at 3.5. They also weren't shy in correcting anyone who had assumed they'd weaned. I overheard a conversation with my mom and oldest son "No, Nanny, you can be a big boy and still have nursies!"

Kellie - posted on 09/18/2011

My three year old is still breastfeeding and I couldn't be happier about it:) I am really proud of the relationship we have because of it and I am happy to tell everyone. I see it as a much needed opportunity to educate the people in my life about the incredible benefits of extended breastfeeding and how wonderful it is for the little child they all love so much:) I still breastfeed openly in public if he wants his 'mumma drink' and to be honest it doesn't worry me at all. I know I am following the WHO recommendations for breastfeeding up to 2 and beyond and that I am doing the best thing for my child. I say, good on you for breastfeeding your two year old. You should be very proud that you have established such a wonderful bond with your beautiful baby:)

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/18/2011

Idk Sara, those comments infuriate me and yet I'm not sure how to respond! I guess all i can advise is saying that studies have said that NO evidence of psychological harm has been found by nursing into the third year or beyond.

Sara - posted on 09/18/2011

I don't feel like having to defend such a personal decision. Bottom line is I know my child and I know that he is not ready to wean. All my other bf mama friends know that he is still nursing. I do not come out and tell other people though. If they ask I do not lie. As a LLL member I feel guilty for not being more open about it and I do think that hiding it is part of the problem. On the other hand I do not like being reprimanded and judged by others. I recently read a post on another website that equated extended breastfeeding with molestation. How am I supposed to react to that?

Sara - posted on 09/18/2011

I don't feel like having to defend such a personal decision. Bottom line is I know my child and I know that he is not ready to wean. All my other bf mama friends know that he is still nursing. I do not come out and tell other people though. If they ask I do not lie. As a LLL member I feel guilty for not being more open about it and I do think that hiding it is part of the problem. On the other hand I do not like being reprimanded and judged by others. I recently read a post on another website that equated extended breastfeeding with molestation. How am I supposed to react to that?

Delia - posted on 09/16/2011

Maria, sorry to offend you. Ignorant? No, not really. Exclusive breastfeeding does not prevent all food allergies anymore so than it prevents all ear infections or all cases of diabetes or juvenile forms of cancer.

Statistically speaking, and scientifically speaking of course it makes sense that infants having foreign molecules of protein (cow, soy etc) introduced to their immature gut, are more likely to develop allergies. Statistically speaking, a significantly larger proportion of American infants are either supplemented with formula or exclusively formula fed. Hence my remark re: the incidence of food allergies. Then again, the there has been a lot published of late regarding the common over-diagnosis of childhood allergies, and the importance of careful and accurate testing.

For the record, I have a friend who was a La Leche League leader (reasonably sure she breastfed her daughter!) and she said she ate LOTS of peanuts while nursing. Her daughter developed a peanut allergy (I always thought about that every time I'd reach for the peanuts or almonds). Interesting, huh?