Feeling guilty about weaning

Lisa - posted on 05/02/2011

Thank you, you're right. It sounds like it can be in between.

Laura Zoey - posted on 05/02/2011

It's nice to know all that! I hope you are able to find the perfect spot with breastfeeding. It doesn't have to be all or nothing :) best of luck!

Lisa - posted on 05/02/2011

I just spoke to my lactation consultant. She said I can even diet at this point while breastfeeding, and if he doesn't ask for it at night, which he doesn't, I can skip it, and I can still breasfeed in the morning and continue giving him cow milk during the day if he doesn't mind it. And this way, when he's sick and needs it, I can offer it. She also said I shouldn't consider cow milk a replacement for breastmilk - it's dairy that I can give him any time of day. I don't have to force it to be at a certain time when I would've been breastfeeding. She also said that there is still a lot of nutrition in breastmilk, fighting immunity, especially since this is the age when toddlers put all sorts of things in their mouths. And the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding at least 2 years, and that after 18 months it improves their psycho-social development. So, these are all interesting things to know about.

Laura Zoey - posted on 05/02/2011

I was pretty exhausted too, but I figure I can breastfeed him laying down! That's got to be easier then trying to play with him or something :) breastfeeding is at least relaxing and stuff.

Lisa - posted on 05/01/2011

Congratulations! Sounds exciting and a bit daunting. I'm curious to see how that works out for you with the breastfeeding. Personally, when I first started, I was so exhausted from having to breastfeed every 2 hours, so I don't think I would have the energy to breastfeed another child too. But if you can, more power to ya!

Laura Zoey - posted on 04/30/2011

Yeah kids just can't resist playing with their food huh! My son does it too, but I know he has no idea that the world thinks breasts are sexual, to him they are simply milk making body parts!
I'm due with baby number two tomorrow! I decided not to wean eric when I got pregnant, but I understand the feeling of wanting space in between breastfeeding, although I am quite excited to see how it is to breastfeed two! Its exciting and scary all at once.
You can always just keep the morning feed and stop the other ones...

Lisa - posted on 04/30/2011

Thank you guys. Good points to think about. I was thinking that I'd like to start trying for a second child when my son turns 2, so I figured that I'd like to stop breastfeeding before then so that I can lose a few pounds before I get pregnant again. But I fit into most of my old clothes, so it's not a huge deal. Still, it would be nice to have my body be just for me before I get pregnant again. Lately my son seems to think my breasts are toys, which makes me wonder if I should be breastfeeding anymore... the time I feel like he needs it the most is in the morning.

Savona - posted on 04/30/2011

I did feel like that when I was weaning my daughter way back then, I weaned her WAY to early now that I think about, at 19 I didnt think of the consequences of weaning her at 6 months I just wanted my body back regardless if it was gonna be better for her to need me like that. I regret that decision to this day.
Now a days Im breast feeding my baby boy, hes 4 months this month, (cant believe hes already 4 months!) and Im starting to get that feeling that I want to wean, and then I think of how I weaned my daughter and I decide that he needs to be a boobie baby longer then my daughter was.

It may be a bit of time out of our days... but its a short amount of time compared to the length of theirs/our life. Thats how I have come to look at it.
If it bothers do and you feel torn like that, maybe its not time yet, just a thought. =) goodluck fellow mommy!

Nicole - posted on 04/30/2011

Actually Lisa, I found it was easier to wean the older they got. You can reason and communicate to an older toddler, while you can't when they are younger. My third child very easily weaned himself at 18 months. So easily, in fact, that I didn't even realize it until a few days later. It was actually my husband who made me realize it. He asked a question about nursing and it suddenly hit me that we hadn't nursed in several days. That easy. I am still breastfeeding my fourth at 18 months and he is REALLY not ready to wean and I'm okay with that because I know he will when he is ready and he usually nurses at the same times every day (like bedtime, first thing in the morning and at nap time-sometimes when he needs comfort). Since he is nursing only about 3 times per day, it fits pretty easily into my schedule. I also don't mind much because when he's teething it's one of the easiest and most natural ways to help his pain. Also, because, as a Lactation Counselor, I know that what is in the breast milk of a toddler (1-3 years old) is wonderful! It has a lot more than you think of their daily nutritional requirements (better than cow's milk!) and has immunological benefits that he can't get from anything else. I know that since he is a toddler, he is touching everything and exposed to more illness, and my breast milk has the antibodies that he needs to fight off illness. This will never go away! Even if I could give him my breast milk at 20 years old, the nutritional benefit of my breast milk will never go away. Trust me, I will NOT be breastfeeding him when he is 20! LOL! Just making a point that it doesn't matter the age, the benefits of breast milk are still wonderful! Heck, if I could get over my own weirdness, I would be tempted to drink my own expressed breast milk from the freezer when I get a cold just to try to get over it faster! But, still haven't been able to talk myself into it. ha ha!



Anyway, it doesn't sound like you or your son are ready to wean and more like you are being pressured by others to start the weaning process. If it is okay with you, letting your child wean himself is best on him and on you. All that matters about continuing to breastfeed is you and your son. If you are fine with continuing, that is your decision, and ONLY yours, to make. Remember: Every day, month, and year that you breastfeed, you reduce your risk of breast and other female cancers!



I wish you the best of luck to make the decision that's best for you and your son. Whether that be to wean or not to wean. It is YOUR decision. ;o)

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 04/29/2011

I also thought that weaning an older child would be harder. Then I learned about child-led weaning and met some moms who had been through it. When you let the child lead it's a very gradual weaning process. Many moms don't even notice that their child has weaned until days or even weeks have passed. Suddenly they realize that their child hasn't nursed and they didn't have to do a thing. If you're not sure then why not keep the nursing sessions he loves most? You should stop nursing if one party wants to stop, but if he's having a really hard time then you can try slowing the weaning process or discontinue weaning and try again in a few weeks. You don't want the end of such a beautiful relationship to be tears and sadness. Good luck!

Laura Zoey - posted on 04/29/2011

Actually it gets easier the longer you wait. Think of it this way,if your son is biologically set to wean at say 4 years old then the closer he gets to s natural end time the easier it is to encourage it along. The earlier you wean the harder it is because he isn't close to being ready yet.



It doesn't have to be done at some point, that's something alot of people say, but really and truly every child will wean themselves when they outgrow the need. Mom never *has* to wean, she can if she wants, or she can encourage it along quicker, but the child will always wean sometime on their own with no work from mom.



The American academy of family physicians says, 'a child weaned before two years is at increased risk of illness' so not only does it have nutritional value, it is a risk to their health to not have breastmilk until age two.



If it feels wrong, if it goes against what you feel he needs, then don't make him wean. He is very very young yet and his health greatly benefits from your milk as long as he is drinking it.

There is never an age when cows milk is healthier for humans, even as adults we would be healthier if we drank human milk instead of cows milk.



Only wean if you feel you want to, or if you can see he wants to be done. If you still see he needs it, then now is not the right time to wean him.

Lisa - posted on 04/29/2011

That is good to know. I just went back to nursing again tonight after I was trying to give milk in a sippy cup. I have trouble - he's just so cute. I love it. My sister told me that after 18 months it's very hard to wean and that there isn't much nutritional value in it anymore. And she mentioned to me that when I give him milk, I don't have to give it at the same times I nursed. I can give him milk with his meals since he just needs for nutrition. Good to know. I guess no matter when I do it, it'll be hard for me, but it has to be done at some point, and it'll probably get harder the longer I wait.

Kristina - posted on 04/29/2011

Oh God, I cried for days after weaning my baby. But almost immediately, I noticed a change in her at feeding time. Although I thought she wasn't ready to wean and I was being selfish, she took to bottle feeding like a champ and was much more settled after feedings; and that's with never having problems nursing. "Happy mommy - happy baby" and all that. I felt like I had more freedom and was able to enjoy our time spent together so much more and in turn, so was she. Having said that - it was excruciating, thinking she didn't need me anymore etc, but in the long run, it was the best decision. Hope this helps you,

Laura Zoey - posted on 04/29/2011

Haha I know the feeling! But it helps to remember that the average age for humans to wean is between 3-7 years so honestly we can't think that far ahead to know when they will be ready to stop. Every child will wean at some time! But the range of normal is up to 7 years so it might feel like forever! Ahh well, I'm in it for the long haul now and I just accept it's going to be a while. :)

Lisa - posted on 04/29/2011

I have this feeling that my son would never wean on his own if I didn't do it.

Laura Zoey - posted on 04/29/2011

I would feel guilty to wean my son, he's 2, so I'm just not going to! Lol, I can't stand the selfish feeling so I'm just going to let him wean himself whenever he feels ready. I don't always like it, I don't always enjoy breastfeeding him, but I'd rather deal with it then face the guilt of stopping him.
If it's worth it to you to wean, then that's totally your choice and not a bad thing, but personally I just couldn't do it to him!

Lisa - posted on 04/28/2011

Thank you. I know some people nurse longer, but 15 months is pretty long. I feel like I should be able to do this for myself now. Besides, I may have to nurse only in the morning for a little while longer. I wonder how soon he'll forget once he's weaned off for good.

Pat - posted on 04/28/2011

i went through that, and yes you miss the one thing only you can do for him and that closeness and that he wants YOU. i just spent more time snuggling and holding my girls. the having your body to yourself again, does feel good and is nice! as much as you love that closeness,there is a little relief there....i think part of what is hard is it is a very obvious end to a phase of their babyhood... itll be ok, im glad you nursed as long as you did!