Jem - posted on 02/14/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )
I feel so frustrated that nobody seems to understand why I feel so sad about not breastfeeding my little girl anymore, everyone keeps telling me that it's better for her to be on the bottle now that she's 9 months old and walking around the furniture, and that I should be greatful for 'getting my body back' but I just don't agree with them.
Up until 2 weeks ago, Angel was enjoying solids and loving being breastfed, we had no problems with anything, then I got flu and so did she. I couldn't control my temp and every time she wanted feeding I would go so hot I was shivering so violently that she couldn't stay latched on, she was screaming which was making her hotter, so reluctantly I agreed that a friend could give her a bottle, I didn't even have the energy to lift her up or hold her to feed and had to have her passed to me every time she wanted me.
Having breastfed at various times over the last 10 years and having to give the odd bottle with no problems with my supply, I thought it would be ok and this would be the same as the others. How wrong could I be. I have tried everything to get my milk back up again but Angel just wasn't getting anything, she was really trying hard to get the milk out, but the milk just wouldn't come in.
The final straw was when my friend came round with her baby and she gave her little one her bottle in her car seat (grr) and Angel took the bottle off this baby and started drinking it.
So now she is bottle fed and I hate every minute of it, I resent having to wash up bottles and make up formula milk, and just wish I could still be breastfeeding her, it's breaking my heart, but she seems happy and I guess that's what matters.