First time mom and very desperate, please help!

NANCY - posted on 01/27/2011 ( 29 moms have responded )

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I have a son who is almost 10 months. I have a problem feeding him as this is my first baby. He nurses not more than 6 times a day (6 oz). Regarding solid food I offer him cereal with pureed fruit mixed with breast milk for breakfast, cereal and veggies for lunch and repeat either one for dinner. i am doing this because he refuses to eat any of the pureed meat or chicken. He keeps throwing up whenever i try him. I havent given him any dairy products yet as his dr. advised me not to before he turns one. He was on stage to of the gerber foods. The other problem I have with fruits and veggies is he only likes bannas and carrots. i had to fight with him to make him try the others but at the end we are both unhappy.

I feel that I am not feeding him well. please help me with some sort of menu and how to get other foods in. I am desperate, pls help.

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April - posted on 01/28/2011

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My son showed very little (okay zero) interest in food until he turned 18 months! I just breastfed him whenever he wanted and then tried offering solids afterwards (he rarely took more than a bite and only because I wouldn't give up. Most of the time he didn't eat solids at all)



I find that it is the act of forcing your child to eat that will lead to pickiness.



Also (and most IMPORTANTLY), you cannot know for sure how much breast milk he is getting when he nurses. He is 10 months old...probably VERY efficicent at nursing. You said he nurses 6 times a day and therefore gets 6 ounces of breast milk. Babies and toddlers can get more than one ounce out per nursing session.



Also by that logic, your son would need to nurse at least 25 times a day to reach the amount of milk required for someone his age (approx. 25-27 ounces of milk). Also...pumping does not indicate how much milk you are making either. You just have to trust your body and your baby.



Besides the amount of wet/dirty diapers, it is pretty much blind faith. It's hard to accept what we cannot see or measure, which is where I think most of your anxiety is coming from. I just want to say that I think you are doing a great job...don't worry so much!! :)

Ania - posted on 01/27/2011

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dairy products are fine. there is baby yougurt, cream cheese he can have all this stuff. also maybe he desont like puureed foods, I give my son chicken that is soft and he can bite with his gums, he eats everything: scrambled eggs for breakfast or yogurt with cereal, for lunch potatoes or rice or pasta with softly cooked chciken or homemad tomato sauce and I add spices. I make him soups based on chicken broth with peas and carrots cauliflower and potatoes I add salt and pepper. We never had any problems with constipation throwing up and anything like this. I'm nursing him on top of that how many times he wants. He can eat everything except: milk, nuts, chocolate and dont add sugar. He doesn't have to eat pured food

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Karrie - posted on 01/30/2011

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My daughter didn't eat the meat and I don't blame her have you tasted them! Yuck!!!! In any case she was a super picky eater when we where introducing solids to her but now she will try anything! Doesn't mean she likes it she still has her toddler habits in eating and actually she still doesn't care to much for meat she likes chicken and seafood but other meats she will pick at. I think kids are picky eaters no matter what you do they either like it or they don't and until they get to the age where they understand consequence well its a lost cause. But as others have said breast milk is providing what he needs and he is getting a buffet of flavors through what you are eating. On another note babies and toddlers most mature taste is sweet, they taste it the best and like it the best then the others follow later.

Cassie - posted on 01/30/2011

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As long as he is healthy weight wise, and has plenty of diapers I wouldn't stress about it too much. If you really want him eating foods, just be patient with it, since he likes carrots try sweet potatoes and squash first, as they are similar textures and flavors, and fruits mixed with bananas. My son didn't like meats at first either, so I mixed them in a bowl with his favorite veggies and he loved it.

Jessie - posted on 01/30/2011

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Totally normal. Even at 2, my oldest still doesn't like meat. Breastmilk will give your kiddo everything he needs and table food is more practice or ability to let you eat so you can produce enough milk. Try graham crackers or ritz crackers to give him something he can do himself. My youngest hated the texture of pureed baby foods so he eats table foods, lumpy mashed potatoes, soft sweet potato chunks, mashed banana, etc.

Kylee - posted on 01/30/2011

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Our baby didn't like it unless she was able to put it in her mouth herself...just a thought.

Marieli - posted on 01/30/2011

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Hi, contrary to what I've read, my doctor told me that my 10 1/2 month old should be drinking no more than 20-24 oz of breast milk per day and the rest should be food. At this age it makes sense that he eats solids either the same amount of time as breastmilk, not less. If he likes bananas and carrots, make sure you put a little bit of those ingredients with other foods that he may not favor, chicken peas and a pc of banana. Don't puree but maybe smash a bit so that he gets a mouthful of all ingredients but the strong flavor be bananas. Also experiment with different foods and textures. I like to feed my boy oatmeal, cornmeal, farina or cereal in the morning (sometimes with bananas) I also do the frozen mixed vegetables with a pc of cheddar cheese or sometimes chicken and let him pick at it and put it in his mouth... And like some of the other ladies have suggested, repetition is key. Good luck!

Bernadette - posted on 01/30/2011

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Babies have a way of letting you know exactly what they need. Have you tried giving him food in different ways as in small chunks. He may not like it all pureed. Relax and enjoy your baby!

Lydia - posted on 01/30/2011

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I saw you mentioned that you eat spicy foods. It's not so good to give them spicy foods, but you can maybe take some aside while preparing before you add the spice. I do this with salt. My husband loves really salty but it's not good for the baby. So I cook it with very little or without salt and add for my hubby later on.

Lydia - posted on 01/30/2011

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First of all it's normal that they don't eat that much solids at this age. If you keep nursing him on demand it should be alright. My daughter has days where she can't get enough of solids and some days she doesn't eat a bite.
Sometimes she refuses the spoon. So I give her pieces of food she can pick up and stick in her mouth (I cut the veggies in handy pieces before steaming them and then let them cool off enough so she can hold them) Also she likes when I feed her from my hands rather than the spoon. Like rice or mashed potatoes or couscous... i make little balls of it and stick it in her mouth. She eats better this way. Also it is normal that you have to offer some foods 10 times until the baby will accept it. Some food he will never like. Also my daughter loves to eat what we eat and not some baby food. I guess it's part of imitating and learning from the parents.

Teresa - posted on 01/29/2011

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My daughter is about to be 9 months and some days she doesn't eat any solid food. Just boob and she is okay with it. Right now she eats veg or fruit sometimes not really a big fan of baby meats but she will eat little chunks of chicken and stuff that we eat. She likes to chew even though she has no teeth. Don't worry so much. As long as they are happy and growing you are doing great!

Rosanna - posted on 01/29/2011

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one thing i learned with my baby is that it may take seveal tries with different foods before they will accept it.my baby will spit out anything new i give her but u just gotta keep trying to give it to him eventually he will eat it. u just gotta keep trying. also try sweet potatoes that was my babys favorite. and u may try mixing the one that he does like with some that he dont care for to get him to eat it.. i hope this helps good luck

Dora - posted on 01/28/2011

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You are doing a great job. At that age they are just starting to experience different tastes and textures. Just keep offering him different things and maybe he will eventually go for it. I found that an easy way to introduce different vegetables was to mix them with different fruits. Use a mixture of 1/2 and 1/2 and make sure you pair veggies with fruits that will taste good. For example pears and peas/green beans worked for my little man. After he gets used to it then reduce the amount of fruit and increase the veggies. When giving him, cereal add either a small amount of fruit/veggies just to change the taste ever so slightly. Also for yourself try eating a bland dinner once an awhile and see if he shows interest. If he does then let him take a small taste. I breast fed my son until he was 15 months old and never with held different foods from him. If he wanted to try something I let him. I also introduced him to fruits and vegetables as an infant as I wanted him to get used to the different tastes and textures in hopes he would have an easier time with foods as he develops. I have to say my son is far from being a picky eater. He will try anything before saying he doesn't like it.

Shannon - posted on 01/28/2011

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oh btw my middle son loved corrots so much he was orange for a few months lol

Shannon - posted on 01/28/2011

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I would just cook things in the microwave cut them in small pices and put them on his tray you breastmilk will give hime what he dosnt eat if he can smash he can have it just no hot dogs pretzels or chips other than that he can try new things on his own so your not forcing him it will take up to 10-20 time for a child to like something good luck

Aicha - posted on 01/28/2011

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breastmilk should be the majority of his diet the fruits and vegetables will take a while for him to start eating don't worry keep offering him different varieties , my daughter didn't start eating meats until she was 12 and a half months old and she only eats chicken , goat or lamb she is still breastfeed

Codie - posted on 01/27/2011

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i would try mixing cereal with the purees. it makes them a different texture. and if its the taste of the other foods, try mixing them with the ones he likes or with like colors. try light colored fruits together (bananas, apples, pears) and for veggies, try the other orange colored ones (squash, sweet potato,ect) another option is a mesh feeder. looks like a bottle with a mesh nipple. you can put food in there, they chew on the nipple and get the food without it being big enough for them to choke.

Kathy - posted on 01/27/2011

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Totally normal. Like other said, breastmilk is still the best source of nutrients. And as long as you are eating a variety of foods, he should be developing a decent pallet. My son (almost two) went through some very picky stages, loving then hating various purees, then eating only bagels with melted cheese (boy did I panic about having a picky eater at that time). Now he eats just about everything, except good old American food like PB&J and or meatballs with his spaghetti. We'll see what next week brings.

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I wouldn't worry about it. My daughter was barely eating any solids at that age. She didn't each much until after a year. Solids are just for fun until they're one. Breast milk has everything they need.

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Have you tried legumes with your little man? Zacharie is pretty much vegetarian, and will only eat meat on a rare occasion. Which is fine, since we are veg too. But he likes legumes... Beans, tofu, soy protein... It's a whole new texture and not at all like meat! Super healthy too.
In terms of nursing though, I agree with Jenelle. While here in Edmonton and Alberta the Capital Health board says that apparently they don't need mom's milk past four months (a total joke), the World Health Organization says that moms milk is best for anywhere up to three years. Extended breastfeeding is great too down the line when they get to 12 months and past and start to get picky. Or if your little one is ten months and is picky. Breastmilk is an a-okay way to be sure that your nursling is getting what he needs. So 6 oz of milk a day is great! You are doing an awesome job already... Mothering is a little instinct, teamwork and fumbling in the dark. We are all there together.
Try blending foods you know he isn't allergic to together. Banana's are great with any other fruit, and carrots go well with peas or even sprouts! Annabel Karmel has a great website too. Just google her name and voila! Don't worry though. Zacharie went through a phase around ten months where he would only eat bananas if they had cinnamon on them. And now, he is almost 14 months and has been eating only cereal for two weeks. As long as they are gaining weight and are happy and healthy, that is all you can help :) But if you are truly concerned, see your pediatrician of course.
Best of luck, let me know how things go!

Jenelle - posted on 01/27/2011

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I'll tell you what my baby's doc told me...and I love him for it..you can technically nurse until your baby is 21! Sure there may be a few psychological issues, but it is all they need. I exclusively BF until my kids are one (saves lots of money)!! Then I gradually work in cereal first...I find that to be the most filling, and then baby foods. Carrots and Sweet Potatoes have always been a big hit for my kids (7 kids), and just go slowly from there. I never give them juice in a bottle, and then I give them very little juice anyway! You can also use regular apple sauce, mixed pears and peaches. Don't let others pressure you into doing something that you or your baby isn't ready for! Good Luck!

Terra - posted on 01/27/2011

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Did you know that the foods you eat actually change the flavor of your breastmilk? He has been tasting a variety of flavors since he was born! If you are worried that your food is to spicy then there are plenty of other options. The easiest would be that while you are preparing your meal to just remove a portion of it for your son before you add anything spicy. You can go ahead and add other spices to add flavor to the food but just don't add a lot of the spicy elements to his food yet (though, knowing that you have a diet high in spice level you will want to introduce him to a little spice here and there. You may even be surprised to find that he likes it and tolerates it well, but be careful and only give a little here and there). If that isn't possible then there is still plenty of foods you can prepare for him. Avacados are a great and healthy finger good, roasted sweet potatoes and squash, steamed fresh peas, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower. If you want him to start eating more meats you can try stewing them until super tender. Add what ever vegtables you'd like with the meat and then shred the meat up really fine and allow him to finger feed himself. Cheese shredded or cubed is nice. As for fruits, bananas cut into disks, grapes or blueberries cut in half, soft pears or peaches cut into cubes, you can cook apples until soft but not mushy. Just get into the kitchen and start having fun!

Celeste - posted on 01/27/2011

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Nah, I don't think it will. My twin boys didn't even start solids until 8 months. They are very good eaters at 4 years. My daughter? Started her at 4 months, she ate all sorts of purees and is very picky, but I think that's her sensory stuff.

Honestly, I'd just keep trying. Like we said, breastmilk is to be his main source of nutrition until a year. After a year, his diet can be mainly solids (as well as nursing if you choose).

Not sure about spicy though. Can you make foods for him without the spice?

NANCY - posted on 01/27/2011

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Thankyou all very much. Your comments are helpful.Yet I keep wondering if this could affect him later- if he is going to be a picky eater or something. If there are other ways I can try him with veggies and fruits pls let me know. If there are menus I can try I would also appreciate it a lot. I didnt dare to give him foods i eat as they are really spicy. Most of our foods are. Is it appropriate to offer him spicy foods at his age?

Jessie - posted on 01/27/2011

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also: "food before one, is just for fun" and be careful with introducing new foods. we found out after introducing cows milk (after his birthday) that he was intollerant to it. and at 15 months we learned he was intollerant and mildly allergic to wheat.

Jessie - posted on 01/27/2011

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He doesn't really need those other foods if he is breastfeeding well. don't try to force him if he isn't interested. offer the breast before and after any solid foods. good luck. no matter what anyone tells you, it is not essential that he eats a ton of solid foods right now

Samantha - posted on 01/27/2011

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At 10 months, my daughter was the same way! She would not eat ANY pureed foods, except bananas(still trying to figure that one out). My daughter loved real oatmeal (quickoats) and anything I was eating. I always made sure anything she was going to eat I could smash with my tongue on the roof of my mouth before I gave it to her. It takes kids many times of trying things before they like them. My daughter is now 17 months and some days she loves things, the next day she refuses to eat it. Just keep offering, don't force. He will eat when he is ready.
I can't really help you with him not wanting to eat meat, we are vegetarians, but because he is still breastfed, he is getting everything he needs. Keep your chin up and remember, when you get worked up and stressed, he knows it and will get stressed too!

Celeste - posted on 01/27/2011

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The majority of his diet should be breastmilk, so I wouldn't stress about him not eating solids. Also, have you thought about just giving him table food?

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