frustrated breast feeding mum

Jamie - posted on 02/05/2009

I was a car nurser. never nursed while in public unless i had to.

Kristy - posted on 02/05/2009

It does take a while to get comfortable, but the only way for that to happen is just to do it! I had a Hooter Hider, which I LOVED. I never once got stared at or had anyone say anything to me. You're doing an amazing thing for your baby, and if you think about it, what an amazing role model you're being for nursing moms who might be in your same position! Just put a smile on your face, and know that you're doing the absolute BEST thing for your little one!

Gemma - posted on 02/04/2009

does it matter what people think, it is the most natural thing in the world. Enjoy it, it is a special bond between you and your baby, and it is the best thing in the world your them.

I have 1 child, and i never throught i could feed in publicv, but I will do it anywere, I even feed him at the front of the church at his christening.

Katy - posted on 02/04/2009

Congrats to you for nursing, and seriously the onlookers you are describing should be ashamed of themselves. I think you need to consider is that it DOES get easier to latch quickly. I don't know about you, but my son had a terrible time latching and would feed for 45 minutes easily. He just lingered, never finished. So you have to get/be comfortable with it. Dont stay home! You have to get out for your sanity. There are so many things that work for so many people.

I myself could not live without a nursing tank that I layered. Yes, at first I felt all the eyes in the world glaring at me. Now I could care less, they grimace, I smile back. We are doing a great and beautiful, and lets not forget NATURAL thing here.

Good Luck!

Dara - posted on 02/04/2009

It took me a while to breastfeed in public, but with a little practice is became easier.  I'm not sure where you live, but in the U.S. it is a Mom's legal right to breastfeed in public -- without covering herself.   I usually, however, carry a scarf to put over my shoulder and the baby's head while he latches on.  The thing I'm most self-conscious of, is my exposed belly when I raise my shirt.  So, I made some stretchy bands from knit fabric -- like a wide belt -- and wear them under my shirts.  You'll find some trick to work for you, too.

Jana - posted on 02/03/2009

I totally understand wher eyou aer coming from and I have had a long period of time where iI felt a bit strange bf'ing in public. However, after my second son arrived I was a littel to sleep deprived and  frazzled to care anymore so anything goes. We nurse in church, at the mall, wherever it is needed and there is a seat for me to sit in. I  have a moby wrap and I have not quite mastered nursing in it ( doesn't  help that I cannot find the manual for it!).  It will take some time and coaxing before you will feel more comfortable!  I used to tell myself, now would I be hiding in a bathroom stall if I was giving my baby a bottle? NO!

Kirsty - posted on 02/03/2009

Hi I'm not sure how you're feeding but I wear a stretchy vest top, which I pull down, underneath i top that I pull up. As it's cold I also have my pashmina which covers me and my daughter. Some people don't even know I'm feeding her. I did the same thing with my son. As for feeling uncomfortable in public you need to be very determined. I live in Ireland where ery few women breastfeed and I've had some awful looks from women of all ages. I've had to have a thick skin and glared at a good few people who think they can intimidate me. You have to do what works for you and stick to your guns. we've got a hard enough job without complete strangers butting in! Good luck!

Emily - posted on 02/03/2009

I'd also like to mention that I don't own any nursing specific tops... I just wear a generic tank top under any shirt from my normal wardrobe. Then I pull up my shirt and pull down the tank top along with the nursing bra. My belly is still covered by the tank top and the breast is still covered by the shirt. The only thing that might possibly be seen is my actual nipple, but that is usually in baby's mouth and covered by baby's head... and I always keep my hand on the bottom of my shirt to pull down quickly when baby unlatches. If someone is staring at me and trying to see something... they might get a split-second peek... but other than that, no one can see anything.

Jenna - posted on 02/03/2009

I had alot of issues at first as well. In fact I only left the house right after feeds and came back before the next so that I could be at home to nurse. Or sometimes I would pump and have a bottle with me if I was out of the house for a long time. I am just know starting to feel comfortable and my son is 4 months. I have always used nursing style tops that I can yank down and  zipper hoodies as my everyday apparel and I always carry a nursing cover with me. My case might be a lil different from many though as I still struggle to latch my son due to his overbite(he has to latch differently). Also my son is a very active and agressive eater.

Sophie - posted on 02/03/2009

I have found wearing a vest top underneath a smock style top works well, if i need to cover her over i use a muslin square which i carry in my change bag anyway. 

I have been told that I get glared at when I nurse in public but to be honest I am concentrating too hard on what I'm doing to notice.

Emily - posted on 02/03/2009

I also had issues nursing my first in public. I found a great group of moms from La Leche League and we formed a playgroup so we see each other almost every week. I felt totally comfortable nursing around them, and we all helped each other learn to nurse discreetly and now I feel totally comfortable nursing anywhere at anytime. I just nursed my 13 month old during story time at the library today... and both of the story time performers were male... I'm not sure if they noticed today or not. I think one of them noticed when I did it a week or so ago, but he totally took it in stride. I have gotten more dirty looks from other moms than I have from men... but I just remind myself that I'm doing what's best for my baby, and it's too bad for their babies if they don't approve of breastfeeding.

Emma - posted on 02/03/2009

Thank you for all your positive replies to the thread I have a breast pump but the first bottle I ever took to town was practicallyboiled by the restaurant I was in and with the weather being like it is here at the moment Oliver won't take the milk cold. I also bought some nursing tops but when I am feeding they are quite uncomfortable and I have found I can be more discreet with some of my old clothes, I take a blanket everywhere now.

Gabrielle - posted on 02/03/2009

Hi Emma, One thing that a Lactation consultant told me is if your cover your baby with a blanket while your nursing and don't stare at your baby, most people think that they are sleeping. I have done this and have actually had people come and talk to me while I'm nursing and when I swtich sides they freak because they didn't realize that I was nursing the baby.  Just relax and don't worry about what others think, you are doing a great thing.

Christina - posted on 02/03/2009

I find that the older generation is not as accepting as the younger generation in terms of breastfeeding. I am also uncomfortable breastfeeding in public, so i just pump some milk beforehand and feed her out of a bottle when i am in public. I know breast pumps can be expensive, but you can also get them used. It was well worth it for me!

Tegan - posted on 02/03/2009

I would suggest buying a nursing cover. They really hide what you are doing and will boost your confidence. I wear nursing tank tops so I have fast easy access for my little guy!

I'm sorry to hear that people give you dirty looks. That's awful. Just remember that you are doing what is best for your child! Don't let anyone take that away from you.

Best of luck!

Vicky - posted on 02/03/2009

I there, my little girl is 11 weeks old now and I am just now becoming comfortable with nursing in public. I refuse to stay home all the time so most of the time I just sit in the car so it's nice and quiet and I don't bother anyone. I have also used a nursing cover but find these difficult to use because my daughter still needs help latching on. Hang in there! You are doing an amazing thing by breastfeeding your daughter so don't let the people in town keep you home!

Becky - posted on 02/03/2009

With my first babe I was nervous and self-concious about nursing in public too. I would go to the car to nurse if we were out or go somewhere very discreet. With my son, now 9 months, I nurse everywhere. I don't really have a choice because my 3.5 yr old needs to go out. I just have a blanket handy to put under him to cover my tummy. No one can see anything on top because his head covers. I also have a few carriers and a sling to nurse in. It's odd to me that nursing in public seems so taboo. Breasts are for feeding babies not to sell beer or clothes !  I know it can be uncomfortable at times but it really doesn't matter what others think or say about it. Your son is getting the best start in life and that is all that matters ! 

Take care ! 

Btw, I love the name Oliver !

Chantelle - posted on 02/03/2009

I found it very hard at the beginning. I ended up feeding in bathroom stalls, change rooms in the malls, and yes the car too. As Sherry says, the sling and nursing tops work great. Since i'm in canada, I also use a large persian shawl in the winter.lol it doubles as a scarf. My son is now 12 weeks, and i'm just getting used to it..and learning how to ignore the looks and stares.

Amber - posted on 02/03/2009

I find it very hard.  I stay at home most of the time because of it.  We only go out if we have to and even then I will go to my car to feed.  What happen to people being accepting?  We allow all kinds of things on TV. 

Barbara-Anne - posted on 02/03/2009

Hi Emma, where are you from???  I'm currently living in England (I'm a Canadian) and I HATE breastfeeding in this country.  In Canada I was totally comfortable, but here, well, it's just considered taboo.  And, you're only covered by law to breastfeed until 6 months so if someone asks me to stop I have to.  I get stared at everywhere.  It's sooo frustrating. When I was in Canada (for the first 7 months) I was uncomfortable feeding in public at first, but then I stopped caring, and now I'm proud.  If anyone has a problem with me I'll be more than happy to discuss the benefits of breastfeeding with them.  Do you have a nursing cover?  That helped me feel more comfortable.

Sherry - posted on 02/03/2009

Hi Emma,  Love your name, I have an Emma,  lol..... anyway,  Is Oliver your 1 st child?  I know it can be a bit strange even for the first couple of children.  I have 8 children and have nursed them all.  They weaned themselves at different ages.  One thing i do know is that going out wilth bottles is far more stressful.  I did the breast to bottle thing with my first child,  cause i had a "lack" of support and it is far more stressful.  Have you ever seen nursing accessable tops?  They are wonderful.   Here in Ontario, Canada the law states that it is illegal for any facility to ask a woman to leave while she is breastfeeding her child.  It is considered discrimination.  They can actually be charged.  This is a perfectly natural thing for both you and your child.  Also ,  have you seen or heard of a "sling",  they are great for not just carrying your child but you can nurse in them and nobody even knows.  I nurse my children in them all the time and we shop,  go to many different functions and unless someone comes and pulls my sling down they do not even know what the child is doing.  They usually think that they are sleeping. :)  I know that some people can be very ignorant .  I could probably write a book......hope this helps even a bit.

Sherry