getting to bed without the boob ..

Katie - posted on 05/12/2010

My sn is almost eight months old and I jsut starte getting him to pu himelf to bed. I havebetfd him to slee up to this point. Th way Igot him get to sleep by himself was thefirst nightw did his bathtime routines I breastfed him puthim in his crib said "good night, l love you " clsed his door. whe he started crying I waitied five mins, went back in there said good night ilu, shut the door anddid the same thing. He fell aslep withi twenty minvs. The next day I uped the waiting time by a min each day. He sleeps way better by putting himself to sleep. - Good Luck !

Samantha - posted on 04/21/2010

i used to do the same thing with my now 10 month old.. i stopped breast feeding at around 8-9 months.. if my daughter doesnt go to bed with out drinkin some warm milk or formula she wakes up during the middle of the night hungry and grouchy but the only way i get her to sleep is rocking her to sleep or pacing back and forth til she sleep.. and she doesnt really cry herself to sleep unless shes stayed up too late and want to fight it but she generally likes to here music when she sleep so i sing her to her every night so i odnt have the answer to the letting your son fall aslepp on his own but i hope the other one helps its just the preference your child need to soothe himslef to sleep.. like my daughter she likes a sippy cup full of warm milk or formula then she"ll sleep the whole night through..

Meghann - posted on 04/20/2010

i am having the same problem in a sense, but i think my problem may be far worse. my daughter is turning 4 and she still cannot fall asleep unless breastfeeding and she sleeps in the same bed as me even though she has her own room and toddler bed. i do not have any suggestions for you. i just wanted you to know that u are not the only one. but if anyone has any pointers for me i will glady take them except having her cry it out. i as well do not like that method.

Darcy - posted on 04/20/2010

Hi Marissa. Consider reading the book "The Sleepeasy Solution" (you can find it at Barnes and Noble), or visiting www.sleepyplanet.com. It is a middle-of-the-road approach between always going to the baby and letting her cry it out. It includes a sleep plan that helps you go step-by-step and has lots of info on the best way to help your child sleep. It worked for us and I was right where you are now. Good luck and sweet dreams.

Angela - posted on 04/20/2010

I also agree that bf'ing to sleep is not a bad thing, but also went through having to teach my son how to fall asleep on his own. It actually started when we were co-sleeping. He was wanting to play and I laid him down next to me and pretended to sleep and he closed his eyes copying me. And fell asleep. When he was 7 months old we moved him to his room but slept on the floor on our mattress with him. He was sick for the first time so waited until things were normal which turned out to be 8 months. I wasn't ok with CIO so we put him in his crib and sat down next to him and soothed him. Sometimes I could get him to calm down enough and sometimes I had to pick him up to sooth him. I really can't remember how long it took but eventually he would go down ok. Then I got back into the habit of nursing him down (rocking while nursing was part of our bedtime routine) until my husband complained because he had a hard time getting him down for a nap while I was at work. First night was 5 minutes of crying, 2nd night was 3 minutes of crying, 3rd night was 5 minutes of complaining, but not crying, then he was easy. We always had to watch VERY closely to not let him get overtired or it was all over. That was key. And moving his bedtime. He didn't start eating solids until 10 months but shortly after that he only woke once a night to feed. We now have a set bedtime routine still, and my son has self weaned (he's now 20 months) but we still keep the rocking and stories and all that. Last night he was tired so when I sat down to rock him, he pointed at his bed. He wants in his crib now when he's ready and he goes down without a sound. He has his "fish" which is a soother, and we got him a Twilight Turtle which he also likes so those are fun things he only gets for bedtime. And he HAS to have his mommy shirt (which I started when I went back to work, just gave him the shirt I wore that day so it would smell like me. It's become his blanket of sorts. He's never taken a pacifier, never sucked his thumb and always refused the bottle) or life as we know it is over. But he goes down around 8pm and gets up around 9 or 9:30am and then takes a 90 minute nap in the afternoon. So have faith that bf'ing your baby to sleep is not the end of the world and your son will still learn good sleep habits. I also agree with Kristin...Don't let your doctor dictate your decisions. My son lost weight when we stopped co-sleeping (me gone 9 hrs a day + him refusing the bottle + no co-sleeping = Mom taking 3 month leave from work to correct) and he didn't have the boob at the ready all night long. My milk supply also diminished. I took fenugreek, nursed as often as I could and worked on getting him to eat solids. My son is still a healthy little boy and VERY active and I am proud to say he self weaned and I didn't have to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. No formula and no early weaning and we were just fine. Good luck!

Emily - posted on 04/18/2010

I agree with the above post. Nursing to sleep is not a bad habit. Babies learn to sleep longer when they are developmentally ready to (and every baby is different), not based on what method used to get them to sleep. I did not do sleep "training" or CIO with my first child and he stopped nursing to sleep and night-waking when he was ready to. I didn't have to do anything different.. he just grew up! And your baby will too. You just have to be patient ;)

I would also try to add in more nursing sessions instead of taking them away. Or at least, nurse first before you offer formula or solids. Breastmilk has more calories ounce per ounce than solids.

Aleks - posted on 04/18/2010

Oh one more thing. Getting the baby to sleep without bfing DOES NOT guarantee you baby sleeping thru the night. Babies wake at night, it's what they do. My son wasnt fed to sleep and yet kept on waking up for feeds, and once older, just for the comfort he needed from a human being that he loved - mum! Not a blankie, dummy or plush toy - these are all innanimate objects that don't show love and affection. Also, babies brains are not mature enough to sleep such long periods of time without waking - our human evolution has made us that way ( back in the day long periods of sleep put babies in danger of malnutrition and cold/freesing - remember, in caveman days there was no central heating, doonahs etc, and food wasn't on demand like in current western society). The brain matures enough for a child to sleep thru the night at around 3yo. Yes, I know babies CAN sleep thru the night, it doesn't mean it will last on a consistent basis and/or they are formula fed (ie, stuffed to the brim and probably over tired from all the processing that the stomach has to do - what all that "formulated food".. its hard work.).

Christina - posted on 04/18/2010

I breast fed my daughter to sleep when she was younger, Up until 13 days ago she was still getting up for feedings at night... and up until 10 months, she was getting up twice a night.

I when I was cutting out feedings, everyone told me the hardest feeding to give up was the one before bed... not true. It was manageable. I got a snuggi that my daughter would like, and even let her pick it out. The last time I nursed her, I gave her the snuggi (it also transfered scent onto a new snuggi). The next night, I did not nurse... she put up a little fight... but she learned that snuggi was comfort too... not just mommy. I would lay her down after a "cuddle time" with mommy.

We still cuddle...and now that she is gaining some independence, when she is ready for bed she grabs snuggi and crawls into my lap. She has also had nights where she does not want to cuddle anymore, she wants her bed.

My daughter eats 5 - 6 times during the day... yet she tells me she is 'hungy' when I wake up with her.
You know your baby, and every baby is different... respond with what you think is best for their needs.

Aleks - posted on 04/18/2010

I too am ok to get baby to sleep while bf! It is the most natural way! Your doctor is strange! Baby growth slows down! And bf babies grow and put on weight differently to formula babies. You baby is probably fine, its his information that isnt. Check the WHO growth charts for bf babies. Why go on to man made, fake stuff that is soooo expansive, and takes heaps of time to prepare and clean after? And after all that, does not hold all the BIOLOGICAL LIVING BACTERIA that breastmilk does? And it is still very much helping your baby, no matter what age!
But from what i have already read, you have already made up your mind to switch to formula. I guess the formula pressure groups have go you. Sorry to hear that.

Nadine - posted on 04/18/2010

I am ok with breastfeeding the baby to sleep

Katie - posted on 04/18/2010

I bought a book called the baby whisperer and it has a chapter how to get your baby out of that dream fed.

Kate - posted on 04/18/2010

I have to agree with Beck, I bought Sheyne Rowley's 'Dream Baby Guide' as I had seen her interviewed on a morning talk show here. My daughter has a good routine both day and night and I have not had to feed her overnight since she was 6 and a half months old. This book provides great explanations of how we communicate with our children and how those communications are actually interpreted by our children and how we can alter this to make them more settled and more comfortable being on their own ie to sleep! Couldn't recommend it more highly, it takes some work but my daughter is a joy to go through her night time routine with and going to bed is a nice peaceful experience now : ) Good Luck

Sammie - posted on 04/17/2010

I just wanted to mention that i dont feel nursing to sleep is a big mistake. I just find it another advantage of breastfeeding.
When my son is overly tired and cranky, i just slip him the boob and 2minutes later he is off in a peaceful sleep.
I think it is wonderful tool.

Beck - posted on 04/16/2010

This is our story about what worked for us.
I am writing this because I have posted similar responses to several posts of Mums who have bubs of various ages having trouble sleeping. I thought I would put it all in one spot and if you were having troubles maybe something I say would help.

My son was an angel child, he would sleep and eat happily for those first few months. I fed him to sleep all of the time and in the end we were co sleeping, one because I loves snuggling with my bub and two because it was SOOO Hard to lug my legs out of bed for yet ANOTHER night time feed!

By 5 and a half months we were OVER it, I was cranky cos I wasn't getting enough sleep, we were worried about my husbands health cos he needs sleep due to risk of seizures and we NEEDED to FIT our gorgous boy!! Corey was still in our bed waking every 45mins-hour and to get him back to sleep quickly I would feed him, over and over and over! This would mean during the afternoon we would flop into bed together and sleep all arvo.

I knew there was a sleep school in a near by town but I knew they did controlled crying at at 6mths I couldn't do it! BUT I knew that if nothing else worked we would HAVE to do it. I went out and brought several 'no cry sleep solution' books. The one that changed our life was DREAM BABY GUIDE by Shayne Rowling. An Austrlian author. It is 700+pages long and uses a lot of tecniques within the whole 24hrs to lead to healthy sleep patterns. I dont believe tht controlled crying is the only way!!!! and wanted to do what ever I could to help his sleep without it. My husband took three days off work and we planned nothing so we could tag team for three days if thats what it took. We started using the routines from the book and within 2 days we had a complete different bub! My husband even thought about going back to work cos we had him sorted with no tears!

I will tell you a few things from the book that may help you but obviously to get the full effect you would need to buy the book. Now I am not saying we have a 'perfect' sleeping bub all of the time, teething still effects his sleep from now and then BUT we have come a huge way and taught him many skills.

My bub is a low sleep requirement baby, meaning they only need 8-14hrs sleep in 24hrs. We do the following and it works a treat!! plus its getting better and better!! The book goes into lots about sleep requirments and the different nap times for different ages but if you are just after info re sleep routines this would help.

Corey, now 12mths, wakes usually around 7am (sometimes he sleeps in however I wake him by 7.30 to keep the day on track) he has a bfeed then breakfast (cereal and fruit)
9.30 milk (bfeed) and fruit for morning tea
11.20 lunch - meat, vegies, carb (rice / pasta / potato) then desert (yoghurt)
12noon bed time (usually sleeps 2-2.5hrs!!)
2.30 milk (bfeed) and arvo tea (cheese on toast / avacardo and ham on crackers, piklets etc)
5.20 tea (vegies and carb)
6pm Nudie time (clothes off play)
6.15 bath time
6.30 out of bath
6.35 milk (bfeed)
6.45 story time
6.55 into cot

Its the sleep time routine that makes the difference, my Mum and sister in law can also follow this and we do the same where ever we are so Corey always knows what is expected.
We also do the nappy change, story then bedtime routine at 11.45 before lunch time sleep.
Cuddle on couch whilst reading - household calm, whilst reading we say before, during and after we say "nearly time for nigh, nigh" "nearly time to find teddy" etc
We say good night to anyone at home - kiss
then into bed room
We lay bub in our arms and rock him whilst we sing twinkle, twinkle, (often now he wants to get into his cot cos he knows he is tired and ready for sleep) then lay him in his cot with his teddy (loves his bedtime ted)
We tuck him in tight - shoving a towel rolled up down either side to keep him in firm. Corey starts on his side. We dont have to tuck him as tight now that he sleeps so well.
We then rub his back and legs and say
"sshh, sshh, sshh, sshh time to sleep"
" sshh, sshh, sshh, sshh mummy and daddy love you"
"sshh, sshh, sshh, sshh nigh, nigh"

we repeat this twice, then stop rubbing and walk out. Corey now never needs re settleing but at first if he did put up a fight we would go in, after a couple of minutes only - shut the door behind us so there is no confusion that he is getting up then repeat the sshh, shh..... and out. It only ever took going in twice maybe three times (usually if he was over tired). We never have to go in twice now.

When he wakes and has had a decent sleep (if he ever wakes under and hour we do the sshh, sshh to get him back off for at least 1hr 20mins though usually he goes solid for the 2hrs 2.5hrs) we walk in and say "good sleeping bubba" happy and bright and get him up. This way he knows the difference between when you are expecting him to go back off and when he can hop up.

If he wakes during the night we go in (maybe give him a sip of water), re plug the dummy, re tuck him in and do the sshh, sshh - we are in and out in under 1 min and he always (except when teething and needs a shot of panadol) settles in one go.

He seems to know now when he needs more sleep and that he needs to go back off. He can now resettle himself too which he could never do, occasionally he will yell out once then go back off. We now wait, he will yell out, we wait, he may yell once or twice more and go back off. We were rushing in and therfore always helping him back to sleep. Now we wait only a minute or two and he goes back off. Anymore than that and we go in. Some people wait longer.


We must make sure he doesn't sleep when we are out in the pram or car before 12noon otherwise it can muck it up (occasionally its fine we have learnt to addapt) but we try to hold him out til 12 so he has one good sleep.

We dont follow the routine completly (there is more to it in the book) anymore, we still use many of the day time communication cues etc There is way to much to go into here!! I would recomend that you buy the book (hehehe I am earning no commision I just LOVE it as does a friend and many more people I would say!)

Good luck everyone, its so hard. You try and do the right thing by your bub but sometimes it leads to 'not helping them'. Corey was such a restless sleeper, I actually thought something was WRONG with him!! It was just that he didn't know 'how' to self settle or re settle between sleep cycles.

P.S I never thought Corey would cut all his night feeds (at 6mths) as like you he was still feeding several times a night in our bed just to get him back to sleep. He did in one night! of course I was up still pumping cos I had been used to feeding but that only lasted a few nights. I kept up at dream feed for another month but I dont think he necessarily needed it. After 6mths unless there is a medical condition bubs DONT need feeds over night! (no matter what people tell you... I know I am leaving my self open to 'different opinions on this one!!) I am sure Corey would still take a feed some nights if I offered it but he doesn't want it, when he has been unsettled due to teething some times I have tried of offer it and he isn't interested! :-( ... a dummy or a sip of water does the same job. The first few nights if he did wake his Dad would go in, after that he has been happy to take water from me. Its all about creating sleep associations and the same environment so when they go to sleep its the same when they wake up so they can think 'ok, all the same, goodo, off to sleep again!" This is why its important to be out of the room when they go to sleep, cos of course if you have them back in their cot you are not there when they wake between sleep cycles. We were expecting to HAVE to use controlled crying with Corey at 6mths but never had to using this above routine (and many more hints from the book) - like having a heater in his room set at 21degrees in winter, using a sleeping bag etc and lots of other day time communication things. This is just a wrap up for you... would love to think it works for you like it does us.... fingers crossed for you!!!

Email me for more info if you would like

Sorry, I could go on all day!!

WOW, THIS WOULD HAVE TO BE ONE OF THE BIGGEST POSTS EVER!!

I hope someone gets something from this to help them and their bub get a good night sleep. Don't expect too much though, bubs still need us and it very rare for any bub to sleep 12hrs straight! But for us, we were just dying for 4 hours sleep straight! Now, we hear no peep from Corey from 7pm til 5.30 (when Hubby is up getting ready for work) then he goes back off til 7-7.30am!!! ahhhh Bliss!!!

Kristin - posted on 04/16/2010

So, tried to put this in through the edit funtion but it didn't work. Anyway, I was asked to supplement my second child's diet at about 9 to 10 month as he was not gaining like the doctor wanted him to. Instead of giving him formula to drink, I changed the feeding from solids then breast to breast then solids and added formula to his cereals, fruits and veggies. He enjoyed the creamier texture of his food too.



Again good luck.

Kristin - posted on 04/16/2010

First, to get your son to go to sleep without feeding at the time. Have you got a sleeptime routine in place? If yes, you may need to shift the feeding to earlier in the order. If not, try bath, feed, mouth cleaning, story/songs, to bed. You will want to put him in bed when he's zoning out. You know what that is for your son. Then just lay him down. He may be fussy initially, stay and soothe if you like but don't pick up unless getting hysterical. If he just lays there you are probably safe to just leave the room. It is okay if they cry, but hysterical is counter productive to what you are trying to do. Then it will be better to either start the routine over or stay in there and soothe him until he konks out; just have a chiar there where you can touch him. If you need to, you can try giving him a few days with the new routine and falling asleep in your arms but without the breast. When he wakes in the night, don't go in to him right away. Wait a few to several minutes to see if he puts himself back to sleep.



I breastfed both of my boys to sleep and they both are just fine and even wonderfully capable of putting themselves to sleep now. It comes with time and patience. So, if you are fine with it, don't worry about it. Just try not to get in the habit of sending him to bed with a cup of anything. It will make nighttime potty training harder.



On to the more personal part of this, don't let your son's doctor dictate to you how long you choose to breastfeed. If you and your son are happy with it, then continue. If your son just isn't interested, maybe pump and put in a sippy? If you are done, then you can pump or just be done. But this is YOUR decision to make, not the doc's. It is possible your son could use some supplementing and that's fine. But, if you want to increase your milk supply, you are going to either have to get your son to feed longer or pump when he is done. It's all about the demand increasing your supply.



Good luck, hope this helps.

Marissa - posted on 04/16/2010

Thanks for the tips! My doctor recommend I supplement with formula because he's not gaining enough weight and not producing enough wet diapers. However, I'd rather do one or the other and he seems happier on formula so that's what I'm going to do. I'm doing it very gradually though. Dropping one feeding at a time.

Brianna - posted on 04/16/2010

I agree with the sleepy state. I feed my LO at night and then I just walk around for a few minutes until he relaxes. This my take a bit at first, 10-20 mins but once they understand the routine just a few mins. Then lay him down. If he fusses don't pick him up, my son will talk and fuss for a couple minutes and then fall asleep. If he starts crying I'll pick him up and walk with him again for a couple mins and try again. Most the time when he cries it is because he still needs to burp or he just needs a little more time to get settled. You will know the difference between a fussy tired cry and an I need my mommy cry :).
Also you might want to check with a different Dr. if you want to BF longer. We produce the milk our baby needs and as long as he is gaining weight and is healthy there is no medical reason to stop, you may just need to add some or more solid foods. If you want to stop then that is up to you but don't let you Dr. tell you that you need to, most don't support BF for more then 6 months! Good Luck!

Shanica - posted on 04/16/2010

I make sure my son is in a sleepy state (not asleep) before I put him in his crib and I play his musical mobile. Usually he falls asleep within minutes. Fisher Price has a really good one (ocean something). If he fusses alot, I pick him up and sing songs to him or sometimes sit with him in my rocker and read a book.



He does fuss alot which I am assuming is becasue he can smell the milk so I get my husband to put him down. He is so much better at it.



I've heard of people offering a pacifier to their children.