Grandma says "Feeding too much"

Schmoopy - posted on 03/05/2009

Ugh! What does she want you to do - put him on a diet??? Don't worry, babies self-regulate: If he's not hungry, he won't eat.

This issue is likely the first of many where you'll feel "judged" on your mothering abilities. People ALWAYS have an opinion on what you're doing or not doing. It's hard to feel confident when you're a first-time mom because you've never done it before. But your instincts can be a powerful tool. You know your baby, and you know what he needs. Stay true to your gut.

Melissa - posted on 03/04/2009

Quoting Nicole:

I completely agree with you as well. Actually, babies (other mom's may have mentioned this, I haven't read all responses) have a natural need to suck. They will find something to suck on if it isn't you. In other countries that do not have any incidences of colic, they offer the baby the breast 100 or more times a day. They also wear or hold their babies 20+ hours a day. So of course things are different here, but I think if your baby is fussy and you offer the breast, he takes it and is then content, go for it!!!

I have read this about the lack of colic in other cultures and the correlation to feeding on demand and babywearing.  I think it was in the book "Our Babies, Our Selves." It is an excellent read.  It talks about how our biology and culture effect our parenting.  I learned a lot from it.

Jennie - posted on 03/04/2009

You can't overfeed a breastfed baby! Luke won't eat if he isn't hungry. My baby, Noah, is now 6 1/2 months old... at his 2 month check-up, he was 13.8 lbs. Breastfed babies tend to be bigger than non-breastfed babiesat first, but all babies grow at their own rate. Our pediatrician told us that once breastfed babies start eating solid food, the rapid weight gain slows & non-breastfed babies' weights catch up. I think you're doing a great job... listening to your baby (rather than what anyone else is telling you) is the best thing you can do, in my opinion. Keep up the great work!

Joyce - posted on 03/04/2009

I would take a look at how he holds his food down versus his weight gain. Typically, breastfed babies tend to even out with their weight later on. If he is spitting up and having trouble with too frequent lose stools then you might want to consider if he is eating too much. Otherwise, sounds like you know what he needs.

Gillian - posted on 03/04/2009

I think you know what is best for your son, and I wouldn't worry about over feeding him breastmilk. I personally am not one that fed for every cry, but I resented those that said, "he is just hungry", so I know how you feel being told that you don't need to feed him each time. You know your child and you have your own beliefs about child-rearing. Just let your mom know that this is how you are choosing to raise your son.

Megan - posted on 03/03/2009

My little man was born on Nov 16/08 at 6lbs 10 oz and at 3 1/2 months pld he weighs 16 - 17lbs!! He's a very big boy. Everyone tells me that my milk must be very rich and tasty, He is perfectly healthy and happy, and just think of all the money u save fom not having to buy formula.

Krystal - posted on 03/03/2009

i think your doing a good job. you and only you know what your baby needs. with my oldest i felt like i was feeding her all the time and she was using me as a pacifier. so we gave her a pacifier to start and if that worked then fine if not she was probably hungry. now with my second its easier to tell if shes really hungry or just sleepy and wants to suck. our dr told us with the first baby if i was feeding her more than every two hours counting 2hrs from the time she started eating then she probably wasnt hungry she just wanted to suck. good luck and dont worry about what ppl think not even your mom. unwanted advice can confuse you and have you questioning your instincts as a mother

Nicole - posted on 03/02/2009

I completely agree with you as well. Actually, babies (other mom's may have mentioned this, I haven't read all responses) have a natural need to suck. They will find something to suck on if it isn't you. In other countries that do not have any incidences of colic, they offer the baby the breast 100 or more times a day. They also wear or hold their babies 20+ hours a day. So of course things are different here, but I think if your baby is fussy and you offer the breast, he takes it and is then content, go for it!!!
Truly, if you are feeding him too much, he will spit up whatever amount "too much" that he took in... my example, as given to me by my Pedi... if you have a 4oz glass and fill it up with 5oz, it will spill over. Same concept. And even then, who cares if you then offer the breast right away again.
My biggest piece of learned advice I give my new mommy friends is nurse, nurse and nurse some more in the beginning. This ensures good weight gain and good supply. Also, what if your baby gets sick, it'll be good that he has the extra weight on. And, my mommy group was just looking at photo's of our toddlers when they were all under a year, they were all so cute and SO chunky. Now that they are all mobile and SO freakin' active they have all thinned out SO much. We all said, good thing they had all that extra or they'd be even thinner.

Here are some good links I like on nursing that might help to continue to educate you and your mom:
http://www.kathydettwyler.org/dettwyler....
http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsuck.ht...
http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/fus...
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/...

Remember, you are your son's mommy. You know him better than anyone else and you know what is best.

Oh and I just remembered a quick story... my grandma and aunt felt we were holding our son too much in the beginning. One visit they purposely made it a point not to hold him the entire time. I educated them on the fact that - other countries wear their babies and we are more and more here in America, that you can't spoil a child with love and so on. Now at 2 my son is still nursing and we hold him a lot still, but he is Mr. Independent, SO smart, so healthy and such a wonderfully social child. They love to hold him all he'll let them - which isn't much now-a-days since he's always playing and running around instead (hold and nurse them while you can it goes by quickly) and agree we did a great job and our "techniques" obviously have very positive outcomes.

Rachel - posted on 03/02/2009

All I can say is Mother of the Child Knows Best only you know your baby so yeah I think that your doing a great job

Teresa - posted on 03/01/2009

You can not overfeed a breastfed baby. I understand why you are nervous about it because my two daughters have been that way, but they are both healthy, and at a healthy weight. I have had people say that to me before as well, but you just have to ignore other people. My babies ate a lot and spit up a lot and the doctor says that is normal. I tend to believe the doctor rather than other people. I also believe my own instincts about my baby! 

Shanna - posted on 03/01/2009

My doctor told me you CANNOT overfeed a breastfed baby - their little bodies hold on to what the need then poop or pee out what they do not need. A breastfed baby will often be more chubby than a formula fed baby because off all the good fat! On the other hand - if you were formula feeding, you can overfeed.

That said, my daughter (now 7.5 months) was also 14lbs at her 2 month check-up. She gained weight really fast until about 6 months when she started slowing down to almost a stop! Which is totally fine because she was so big anyway. She is now 19lbs and started gaining a bit faster now :) but no where near as fast as she was in her first few months!

Trina - posted on 03/01/2009

My little guy was the same weight at his two month check up. My doctor said 'you must be making some great milk there! And you were worried about not making enough in the beginning'. He's 3.5 months now, and I'm sure he's over 20 pounds at this point, but I will find out on Thursday when we go back. Sure he's in the 97% but he'll grow into it.

Cristina - posted on 03/01/2009

That makes me feel better because he was off the chart for weight too!! He spits what I think is a normal amount but she says she thinks its because he is feeding too much! She is just trying to be helpful I suppose.

Kristen - posted on 03/01/2009

I completely agree with you!  You cannot over breastfeed--he won't eat much if he's not really hungry.  If he's just sucking for comfort he'll only get a little breast milk.  I heard the same thing from my in-laws.  My son was often at the 90th percentile for weight, or off the chart entirely.  Now at 11 months he's really slimming down.