Has anyone used the No-Cry Sleep Solution book?

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Emily - posted on 12/18/2008

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I try not to let my kids nap past 4 or 4:30, 5 at the latest... but that's my goal and sometimes it just doesn't happen. I have two kids that are trying to drop naps right now, so we're having more late afternoon/early evening naps recently. For example, yesterday my baby (11 1/2 months) tried to skip her afternoon nap (usually from 2-3:30 or something, but she was just not tired at 2pm, or 3pm, or 4pm... I kept waiting a half hour and trying again, but she just didn't want to sleep). Then I went to La Leche League at 6:30 and took her with me. She fell asleep around 6pm in the car, and slept at the meeting until about 7:30. Then she was up until around 11pm. This didn't bother me too much because DH and I are night owls and were up anyway, and the other girls still went to bed with no problems. I just expect later nights when they have super late naps... but I also still encourage the earlier bedtimes. If my kids are napping after 7pm or so, I usually try to push them to just sleep the rest of the night. Unfortunately, we weren't home last night to help her think it was bedtime.

Diana - posted on 12/18/2008

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I'll keep you posted how it's going. I'm sure I'll have more questions along the way. Right now we're on Day 5 and I am tired but it's all baby steps. How late in the afternoon did you let your children sleep? I think that's part of my problem. Michael wakes up in the wee hours of the morning and thinks it's party time. I think his afternoon nap might be running too late.

I shifted his afternoon nap today to 1:00 and cut him off at 4:30. He's used to more nap time altogether in the day but I need to shift it somehow.

Emily - posted on 12/17/2008

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Carolyn - that's exactly how I felt reading this book the first time. I've also felt that way reading most things by Dr. Sears as well as "Attachment Parenting" by Katie Gramju (though that one was a bit more extreme). I LOVE Elizabeth Pantley and have read all of her "No-Cry" books. I wish I knew her in real life because I'm certain we'd be friends and she'd be an awesome mentor. I felt like someone finally understood the way I wanted to parent, and told me it was okay to parent that way, and gave me suggestions and tips and perspective to help me get through the rough patches. :)

[deleted account]

when i read this book (i read the toddler one with my first child and the baby one with my second child) it felt like someone had finally put down the way i felt about parenting on paper. i just didn't feel right letting my son cry (and we did try this for WEEKS unsuccessfully) and the toddler no cry sleep solution book offered alternative solutions that i felt were right for our family. my son used to get up to nurse 3 times a night until he was 18 months old (when i read the book) over the next 3 months or so things improved slowly (don't expect fast results) and now he is 27 months and sleeps for 13 hours overnight and wakes up happy. i am already studying her baby book for my 6 week old daughter so that i can hopefully avoid some of the sleep problems we had with our first child. good luck!

Emily - posted on 12/17/2008

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Of course. If you've tried to ease his pain and he's still uncomfortable, you should be comforting him. I would try putting him down drowsy a few times, and if he still fights it, just put him to sleep any way you can. It's important for him to learn to self-soothe, but it's more important for him to be getting the rest he needs. An overtired baby will almost always fight sleep (sounds strange, but after three kids... it's true, they all fight hard when they're completely exhausted).

I would try to put him down drowsy maybe four or five times, then just hold him till he's asleep. I would also try for naps too. Be consistent with a good nap/bedtime routine and keep trying each night. But don't fight him all night long. You both need sleep any way you can get it so you are rested to try again next time.

:)

Diana - posted on 12/17/2008

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Emily, Thanks again...so if he has gas pains all night and I've tried the biking and massage to relieve it...then I can hold him that night and continue the program the next night? I've been pushing it until 4 in the morning but I may start doing what you say and let him sleep with us more.

Thanks!
Diana

Emily - posted on 12/17/2008

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If you know he's having gas pains, try to relieve that first. Try bicycling his legs, rubbing his belly, or gas drop can also be effective. He's going to have a hard time sleeping through the night if he's in pain regardless of which method you use, so that needs to be addressed first.

Yes, as he gets used to you putting him down partially awake, he'll start to self soothe during those early morning wakings also. You can address those issues in a couple different ways depending on your commitment and priorities. You can rock him to almost-asleep and try to put him down partially awake for every waking. This is really hard for mom/dad because it's quite intensive for a couple of weeks, but it's the fastest method overall. The other option is the one we've used: we put the baby down partially awake at bedtime, then usually for the next night waking (only because we're still awake at that point), the next waking after I'm in bed the baby just comes into bed with me and we co-sleep the rest of the night. We both get sleep that way and I'm not completely worn out in the morning. This method is quite a bit slower, but gradually, the time between wakings lengthens, and they'll start self-soothing during those fewer wakings.

I'm glad you have some cheerleaders in real life! That's so helpful to have support. I'll gladly be your online cheerleader!

Diana - posted on 12/17/2008

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If my little guy is hurting from gas pain and keeps waking when I set him down...do I skip the plan and hold him for the night? We struggled from Midnight to 4 a.m. last night and then I gave up and slept in the recliner with him so I could rock and put my feet up and sleep some.

Also with the brief wakenings during the night...will he learn to soothe himself from those in the wee morning hours due to me setting him down in a more awake state? Just wondering. Night 3 was tough. I have a few friends and family who are my cheerleaders though so that will help.

Thanks ahead for any suggestions.

Diana

Diana - posted on 12/16/2008

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It sounds like I'll have a long haul ahead of me but I know it'll be worth it. Last night was rough getting him used to being set down when he was just barely falling asleep. But I kept telling myself it's worth it. I hope it takes.

Kathy - posted on 12/16/2008

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Yes - we took some great points from it and adapted it to our needs... definitely not a quick solution and requires a lot of patience... but worked for us! I'd recommend.

Shay - posted on 12/15/2008

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I loved the book...It worked wonders for my oldest...be patient though...its not overnight success...plan on using its methods over the next 2-3 mos for full results...at least thats how long it took me for my son.

Diana - posted on 12/15/2008

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Emily, Thanks for all of your encouragement and suggestions. Our little guy doesn't want daddy either but we thought we'd try it and if it doesn't work...it doesn't work. I hope this is successful but I know it will take some time. We leave for Arizona for Christmas break on Saturday night so I'm sure we'll be messed up by that. I just thought it was better to start before the trip than after. During the trip, my husband wants to get more involved in helping with the naps too. If it takes 3 months...I'll take it...as long as he's sleeping that's all that matters!

Emily - posted on 12/15/2008

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I didn't remove the pacifier with my first or second... it was just way easier to leave it in. They would usually hold onto it and could find it in the middle of the night by herself. They both gave it up on their own around 19 months. My third has never had a pacifier, but I do remove the breast while they're in a light sleep... I use the "Pantley Pull-off" method for that. Sometimes it works, sometimes not... it just takes persistence.

Also, my kids have all gone through a "we don't like daddy" phase between 7-10 months where daddy cannot comfort them no matter how hard he tries. So, I'm stuck with them for that time, but after about 10 months, they've all loved daddy and will happily go to sleep with him unless they're hungry.

It sounds like you're doing a great job on day two! Sometimes it does take several tries to get them to stay asleep, but it's good practice. It can be quite frustrating, and overall is more work than CIO... but it's worth it. They're only little once, and before you know it he'll be 5 years old, talking non-stop, potty-trained, weaned, sleeping through the night in his own bed, and more interested in cars & trucks and other toys than you.

Enjoy it. :)

[deleted account]

I really like that book too. I have used more of the methods suggested in it now at about 2 years. Early on we just found it best and easiest to nurse to sleep (we still do somewhat) and co-slept/bed-share. We just moved my son to the toddler race car bed we have at the end of our bed last Mon, a week ago. It's going well and often he wakes slightly as I am getting out of his bed and I tell him to go back to sleep now and he does. I also appreciated her input/advice/information that Drs. consider sleeping through the night 4-6 hours, not 8 so I didn't have high expectations of my son. He sleeps at least 8 hours now, and has since at least 18 mo. Anyway, I do think it's is harder in the long run that the CIO method because it takes longer and more patience, but it's less stressful for everyone. I highly recommend it!

Diana - posted on 12/15/2008

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Well it's day two today and he missed his morning nap. The afternoon I would rock him 5 minutes after he fell into a light sleep...lay him down...and he woke up without settling so I kept doing this until the last time...I rocked a tiny bit longer and he stayed asleep when I lay him down. At this point it still took just as long as if I rocked him into a deep sleep but I'm hoping it helps the night sleeping.

Did you remove the pacifier and breast as well while they were light sleeping so they didn't have to associate that with sleep? I've been trying to do that too. The last step we're going to try is having my husband go to get him at night. I don't think that will work too well because he's a Mama's boy from having several ear infections and yeast infections that impacted his stomach. Did you have your husband get him and try to settle him?

Emily - posted on 12/15/2008

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Yes, it sounds like you're doing it right. As long as he settles it's fine for him to open his eyes when you put him down, it's actually helping him to fall into that deep sleep without you rocking him, which is what you are trying to teach him.

If you are more comfortable holding him during the morning nap, that's just fine. Eventually, I think the more practice he can get sleeping on his own, the better... but if you enjoy holding him (or napping with him), or if he ends up waking up when you try to put him down, and then won't actually take the nap.. then I'd continue to hold him... or put him in a sling or other carrier or something for that nap (so you can get other work done). 35 minutes seems like a really short nap... it's possible that if you put him down for that nap, it'll end up being a longer one. (But not necessarily, I have one daughter who insisted on 20-30 minute naps until she gave them up completely at 2 1/2).

Diana - posted on 12/15/2008

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I just started using the book with our 7 month old. I have a question for you. In Phase One do I rock him until he's just barely asleep and then set him down after a few minutes? He sometimes opens his eyes but seems to settle again. I did it the first time last night. Also...he always takes a 35 minute morning nap and then a 3 hour or more afternoon nap. Do I need to still try to set him down during the morning nap? Just wondering. I want to do it right. The past 4 nights prior to this he had gotten to the point of waking every 45 minutes. I just can't take that. I felt too close to "the edge" but I absolutely won't let him cry it out.

Emily - posted on 12/15/2008

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Yes... I LOVE that book. I think Elizabeth Pantley is very down to earth, gentle, loving and practical. Her techniques have been extremely helpful in getting all three of our little ones to sleep through the night. Our older two (3 1/2 & 2 1/2) now fall asleep in their own room on their own, and our baby (11 months) is sleeping 8-10 hours at night with only one brief waking to nurse. We're still more-or-less co-sleeping with the baby. She's on a crib mattress on the floor until she wakes, then she's in our bed.

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